First of all, I just wanted to say “Thank You!!” for all the bloggy-love as I officially celebrated my first blogiversary yesterday. I am truly lucky to have such great blog friends!! Reading your blogs and especially your comments to my posts have definitely got me through this past year โ€ฆ. -)

Moving on …

To shake things up at work, our bosses decided to do something different. Today was “Hat Day,” where we could all wear a silly hat, a nice spring hat, or even a “Cat in the Hat” hat. What did I decide to wear? Well … check it out!


Yikes! Check out the luggage under my eyes!

Okay, so it wasn’t silly or spring-y … but I figured, “Hey! When am I ever going to have the occasion to wear my wedding veil again?” What I really wanted to do was wear a simple white dress and white patent leather shoes with white tights and be a “First Communion” gal. Wouldn’t that have been a hoot?

Over the weekend while at my parents’ house, I went into their cedar closet and dug my veil out of the plastic bag it was in. (Yes, the wedding dress is still hanging in there, too. You think after 11-plus years I might actually get it preserved …) So rather than post our wedding picture once again … and as an homage to my Dad, I figure I’d post this picture of our Father-Daughter dance. (Plus, I think it shows off the details of my dress and veil a little more than our wedding pic … okay, maybe not!)

Dad & I danced to "Unforgettable"

But seriously … at work when I brought out my veil, many of my co-workers thought I was nuts to do so. “What about keeping it nice and preserved?” or “Don’t you want to keep it safe for when your daughter gets married?” Even when I correct them and say, “I don’t have any children” or “There isn’t a daughter to pass it down to” they always say smugly all-knowingly, “You never know …”

“Duh,” methinks to myself, “You’re right. I’ll never know. And damnit, you don’t know either.”

Do people honestly think that it’s easy for me to think in those terms?! “You never know…” Is this supposed to give me some sort of hope that maybe in the future, I will be able to pass on my bridal veil and/or my bridal gown to my future daughter?

Do they know that this is one of the things that I fear I’ll never be able to experience? To be able to be a “mother of the bride” or to see my husband have his moment in walking his daughter down the aisle? To possibly even have grandchildren?

Yes, this is me ...

Sheesh, I’m still trying to get over my fear of not ever being able to dress a nursery, let alone buy baby clothes for a baby that may never come. Or seeing our child go through his or her First Communion. Trying to imagine anything past those moments just seems (and no pun intended) inconceivable.

Okay. Enough of my ranting. Really, I was actually just trying to post a funny post and it turned into this.

Hmmm … must be the damn Lupron that’s got me hot under the collar, literally and figuratively (damn hot flashes)!

0 Replies to “Un-Veiled”

  1. That Lupron will do it to you every time!

    I think you look beautiful…thanks for sharing!

  2. i hated lupton. but i love the veil.
    i those “will i ever become a mother thoughts” they are so scary. and almost take your breath away.
    you will become a mother. it may not be in the way you planned, but you will. you will. you will.
    and i, for one, pray that it is sooner rather than later.

  3. I love it, and it looks strangely cool with your white hoodie. But then, I like odd combos.

    It’s terrifying not to know what the future holds, when so much depends on something that feels so out of our control. But there are many ways to get to that point when you get to put on the matronly purple dress and big straw hat…

    And for the wait, there are Peeps, bare or dipped. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. LOVE the veil. I had a totally kick ass one for my 1st communion. If it still fit on my head, I would totally find an excuse to wear it.

  5. Such a great idea! I’m proud of you for wearing your wedding veil- there’s no time like the present, right? And heck, you look great wearing it. Personally I think you should keep it out and wear it on those days you feel blue.

    I’m sorry people have to be so dumb. I totally hear the “all-knowingly” tone. And you’re right. They don’t know either. Besides, if my mother would have pulled her veil out for me to wear on my wedding day, I would have run the other direction. And that would have caused problems between the two of us. And we don’t like problems.

    You keep on doing what feels right for you, Emily. And if that means sticking your tongue out at those co-workers, you just got right on ahead.

  6. Too cute! I hate it when people tell me “you never know” or that once we adopt I’ll get pregnant. Yeah, that’s what my body’s waiting for!

    Maybe if I’d just relax…

  7. dropping by for NaComLeavMo – hi! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I know this post is from months ago, but I just loved it so I decided to comment here rather than on a more current one – hope that’s ok.

    First – my wedding dress is still hanging in my parent’s basement, and I’ll celebrate by 10 yr anniversary this year, so we’re in the same boat!

    Second – my parents have a video of my first communion which I shudder to watch now. I decided I looked sexy (?!) in my dress and that it would be good to strut (?!) up to the church rather than walking. How embarrassing to watch that again!

    Third – I’m sorry you had to deal with the crappy comments. It sucks, and there’s not much to be done.

    On the more positive front, I hope your current bout with Lupron goes better for you … although from your posts I’m guessing that it’s still driving you nuts. Best wishes though. ๐Ÿ™‚

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