Comments for Apron Strings for Emily http://apronstringsemily.com "You'd be happy wrapped in my apron strings" Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:15:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 Comment on More Than a Woman? by Nichole http://apronstringsemily.com/musings/em-on-em/more-than-a-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-6134 Nichole Wed, 27 Mar 2013 16:15:31 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5802#comment-6134 Your post really resonated with me. I have found myself doing the same - trying to "prove" that I am still a woman and a worthy one at that. Thank you for your honesty! Your post really resonated with me. I have found myself doing the same — trying to “prove” that I am still a woman and a worthy one at that.

Thank you for your honesty!

]]> Comment on More Than a Woman? by Pamela http://apronstringsemily.com/musings/em-on-em/more-than-a-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-6133 Pamela Thu, 21 Feb 2013 15:40:29 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5802#comment-6133 It felt as though I was reading one of my older blog posts here. What you describe is reminiscent of what I've read in other blogs, too. We are extra hard on ourselves and feel the need to over compensate in different aspects of our lives. Do know that it does get easier with time. It felt as though I was reading one of my older blog posts here. What you describe is reminiscent of what I’ve read in other blogs, too. We are extra hard on ourselves and feel the need to over compensate in different aspects of our lives. Do know that it does get easier with time.

]]> Comment on More Than a Woman? by Amel http://apronstringsemily.com/musings/em-on-em/more-than-a-woman/comment-page-1/#comment-6131 Amel Wed, 20 Feb 2013 13:37:42 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5802#comment-6131 I don't think it's ridiculous to feel that way. There were times when I felt that way in the past, too, that I had to overcompensate my non-mother situation by doing MORE than mothers/parents...though come to think of it, I don't feel that way anymore nowadays hmmmhhh... I think it's OK to feel that way every now and then, but then you have to let yourself heal from the inside and you should take time in believing that you are whole no matter what. Sometimes when I feel "unwhole", I think of God and I just cling on His words that I matter so much to Him no matter how broken I feel inside, that He can use me no matter how broken I am, in whichever small way I can and that's enough. I feel that I can give more to others when I also take good care of myself (mentally and physically as best as I can), so there has to be balance, too. Not just giving to others, but giving for myself first (time, resources, love, etc. AKA recharging my battery) so that I can give more to others. I don’t think it’s ridiculous to feel that way. There were times when I felt that way in the past, too, that I had to overcompensate my non-mother situation by doing MORE than mothers/parents…though come to think of it, I don’t feel that way anymore nowadays hmmmhhh…

I think it’s OK to feel that way every now and then, but then you have to let yourself heal from the inside and you should take time in believing that you are whole no matter what. Sometimes when I feel “unwhole”, I think of God and I just cling on His words that I matter so much to Him no matter how broken I feel inside, that He can use me no matter how broken I am, in whichever small way I can and that’s enough. I feel that I can give more to others when I also take good care of myself (mentally and physically as best as I can), so there has to be balance, too. Not just giving to others, but giving for myself first (time, resources, love, etc. AKA recharging my battery) so that I can give more to others.

]]> Comment on Mixed Feelings by loribeth http://apronstringsemily.com/child-free-infertility/cf-living-after-if/mixed-feelings/comment-page-1/#comment-6130 loribeth Mon, 11 Feb 2013 00:33:45 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5799#comment-6130 I had the exact same thing happen a few years ago... at Christmastime to boot. (Don't know if you've listened to the Bitter Infertiles podcast Pamela & I were on last week, but I told this story there). I was late, at my parents' house, & wound up sneaking into the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test, like a guilty teenager. :p And I was PISSED OFF. I felt like I was just getting the hang of this childless living thing, and here was my body jerking me around again. It helped me realize that maybe I was further along the road to acceptance than I had thought. (((hugs))) I had the exact same thing happen a few years ago… at Christmastime to boot. (Don’t know if you’ve listened to the Bitter Infertiles podcast Pamela & I were on last week, but I told this story there). I was late, at my parents’ house, & wound up sneaking into the drugstore to buy a pregnancy test, like a guilty teenager. :p And I was PISSED OFF. I felt like I was just getting the hang of this childless living thing, and here was my body jerking me around again. It helped me realize that maybe I was further along the road to acceptance than I had thought. (((hugs)))

]]> Comment on Mixed Feelings by Amel http://apronstringsemily.com/child-free-infertility/cf-living-after-if/mixed-feelings/comment-page-1/#comment-6129 Amel Sun, 10 Feb 2013 13:52:28 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5799#comment-6129 (((HUGS))) That's one of the crazy things about IF. Can't really control your thoughts and feelings. It's pretty "normal" to feel relief and disappointment no matter how weird it sounds (been there too). But you're right...it's wise to let you feel whatever you feel and let the wave comes when it comes...it's crucial to be kind to oneself... (((HUGS)))

That’s one of the crazy things about IF. Can’t really control your thoughts and feelings. It’s pretty “normal” to feel relief and disappointment no matter how weird it sounds (been there too). But you’re right…it’s wise to let you feel whatever you feel and let the wave comes when it comes…it’s crucial to be kind to oneself…

]]> Comment on Mixed Feelings by Illanare http://apronstringsemily.com/child-free-infertility/cf-living-after-if/mixed-feelings/comment-page-1/#comment-6128 Illanare Sat, 09 Feb 2013 23:04:54 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5799#comment-6128 Sending hugs Sending hugs

]]> Comment on Failure = Success? by Amel http://apronstringsemily.com/infertility/infertilite-me/failure-success/comment-page-1/#comment-6126 Amel Mon, 04 Feb 2013 13:12:31 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5791#comment-6126 I feel that as "adults" we expect ourselves to be "more" because we just think that we should "know more" than when we were younger. It's good in a way, but it can be a bad thing, too. When I moved to Finland from Indo, I had to start my life again from zero (learn a new language, adapt, etc.) and it ain't easy, but only after that I learnt to laugh at my mistakes. Before then, I was always berating my own mistakes and I could scold myself for "being stupid" for weeks on end. One other thing my move to Finland has taught me is to be kind to myself. Even so, when I found out we belonged to the IF group, that lesson wasn't enough. I still need to learn to be kinder to myself, though I think it did help that moving to Finland had started me on that path already... I know that some people may think that being kind to yourself may mean that you're "giving excuses to yourself not to grow", but I don't agree with that. I think that if learning to be kind to myself would lead me to be kinder to others, then by all means I'll learn that lesson, even if it takes a lifetime. I feel that as “adults” we expect ourselves to be “more” because we just think that we should “know more” than when we were younger. It’s good in a way, but it can be a bad thing, too. When I moved to Finland from Indo, I had to start my life again from zero (learn a new language, adapt, etc.) and it ain’t easy, but only after that I learnt to laugh at my mistakes. Before then, I was always berating my own mistakes and I could scold myself for “being stupid” for weeks on end.

One other thing my move to Finland has taught me is to be kind to myself. Even so, when I found out we belonged to the IF group, that lesson wasn’t enough. I still need to learn to be kinder to myself, though I think it did help that moving to Finland had started me on that path already…

I know that some people may think that being kind to yourself may mean that you’re “giving excuses to yourself not to grow”, but I don’t agree with that. I think that if learning to be kind to myself would lead me to be kinder to others, then by all means I’ll learn that lesson, even if it takes a lifetime.

]]> Comment on Infertility Circles by What I Wish I'd Known Then: Virtual Casseroles Feed the Soul | Silent Sorority http://apronstringsemily.com/infertility-circles/comment-page-1/#comment-6125 What I Wish I'd Known Then: Virtual Casseroles Feed the Soul | Silent Sorority Sun, 03 Feb 2013 00:17:48 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?page_id=3431#comment-6125 [...] was no Loribeth, no MLO, no Emily, no Mali, no Klara, no Jody Day, nor LaBelette Rouge or Lisa Manterfield. (They had yet to enter [...] […] was no Loribeth, no MLO, no Emily, no Mali, no Klara, no Jody Day, nor LaBelette Rouge or Lisa Manterfield. (They had yet to enter […]

]]> Comment on Failure = Success? by Pamela http://apronstringsemily.com/infertility/infertilite-me/failure-success/comment-page-1/#comment-6124 Pamela Sat, 02 Feb 2013 23:12:30 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5791#comment-6124 Failure does, indeed, instruct. It forces us to confront aspects of our lives in ways that success doesn't. It also makes use stronger and more resilient in the process. ox, PJ Failure does, indeed, instruct. It forces us to confront aspects of our lives in ways that success doesn’t. It also makes use stronger and more resilient in the process. ox, PJ

]]> Comment on Dark Spaces and Other Things by Amel http://apronstringsemily.com/infertility/infertilite-me/dark-spaces-and-other-things/comment-page-1/#comment-6120 Amel Tue, 29 Jan 2013 15:30:14 +0000 http://apronstringsemily.com/?p=5789#comment-6120 Forgot to write this: (((HUGE HUGS))) And you're NOT a failure! (I know you know that, just wanna say it out loud to you he he...) Forgot to write this: (((HUGE HUGS))) And you’re NOT a failure! (I know you know that, just wanna say it out loud to you he he…)

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