It’s been a year since COVID first hit Southeast Detroit. I remember clearly, only because Hubby & I – at that time – were at St. Andrews Hall for a Howard Jones concert (yes, I’m an 80’s new wave chick).
Also, that afternoon at work, the other Case Managers and I noticed a LOT of staff up at the front desk for what we though was an impromptu staff meeting. The next day, we would find out that this particular unit (of which I was assigned to) would be the dedicated COVID floor. Within 10 days, this floor would later become an ICU-Annex for the overflow of COVID cases.
Anyway at this concert, HoJo announced to the crowd (it was actually pretty packed) that the US had officially closed its borders from any person entering or leaving the country. Poor HoJo (who lives in the UK) stated, “Well, I guess you’re stuck with me for a while.”
The next morning, was a blur – not only because I was tired – (getting old sucks), but it seemed like our world turned upside down. It was mass confusion, as we were beginning to get more and more COVID cases. There were lots of questions about PPE and who gets to where them. How do we begin to transition the other non-COVID patients of our unit? How many COVID cases are we expected to get? What are ever-changing guidelines for treatment?
But despite the confusion, I would say that within 10 days we had mostly adjusted to the flow of things. I say “mostly” because how does one get “adjusted” when several patients were being emergently intubated (places on a vent) and/or performing CPR to our patients, sometimes simultaneously? This continued to be the case until early May 2020, when there were less admissions for COVID.
At that time, I hesitated to say to other non-healthcare-related people, that we were “done” with this massive wave of acute COVID cases. And sadly, after Memorial Day and Independence Day, those numbers began to rise once again. I forewarned those who thought it was “over” (or in some case, didn’t even believe that COVID existed) that we were no way done with this virus.
I correlate that the decrease in hospital admissions for COVID in late April for happened for two reasons:
There were guidelines (kinda sorta) for diagnosing and treating COVID, which meant that the hospitals only admitted those COVID patients that had COVID-related acute respiratory failure (ARDS) / pneumonia or other life-threatening events related to COVID symptoms. And,
People believed it was safe to return to “normal.”
That same belief has happened time and time again (after Labor Day and before Thanksgiving through January of this year). People thought it was “safe” and masks and social distancing weren’t necessary at anymore. In fact they were happy the Stay-At-Home restrictions were lifted if only to gather with friends in person, go out to restaurants, and shop.
And I get it. I wanted to do the same. And I had gone into restaurants and occasionally met with some friends in the evenings. I felt so cooped up that I just wanted to be out of the house for more than a half hour at a time. It also didn’t help that, as an essential worker, I had continued to go to work.
I also understand the economic crisis due to COVID; how bad small businesses and restaurants got and how many of them had to furlough employees and/or close their business. It saddens me that some of my favorite places to go (ahem – bookstores, cafes, etc) do not allow any person to linger in the store / restaurant for too long.
Add COVID-19 in the mix, well … it’s no wonder that many people turn to non-constructive or destructive behavior. More alcoholics and other addicts have reverted to their old behaviors; illegal narcotic use has increased dramatically. The rate of depression has skyrocketed over the past year. Not to mention the PTSD that front-line workers experience, but still continue to go to work despite it all. We shouldn’t forget those experiencing Long-Term COVID, as well. Trust me; I’ve experienced PTSD*** and Long-Term COVID episodes first-hand.****
In any case, I’m just writing here to tell you my experience with COVID over the last 12 months. Like most people, COVID remains a central part of their lives. For me, it’s work (though I now work for a different health system, thank goodness). And anxiety & depression. Don’t worry, though. I’ve been receiving treatment for both.
Please know that if you are experiencing ANY of these feelings, it is COMPLETELY NORMAL. However, if it limits your ability to function at home and work, it is COMPLETELY ACCEPTABLE to ask for help. It doesn’t mean seeking out professional services. It could simply be reaching out to your best friend, your spouse, or me. I’m always good ear for others (must be an RN thing).
I’ll stop with that statement. Besides, this is yet another lengthy post (#SorryNotSorry). I wish everyone health and happiness. And love. You can’t have enough love in this world.
PS. Like my “Emily The Riveter” pic? 😂 #HailToTheFrontLine 💙💛
*Studies have shown that wearing two masks at a time (one being “medical grade) can help in preventing the spread of any of the COVID-19 variants out there. And they are out there. Right now. In Michigan.
** Unless you’ve experienced a severe allergic reaction to the contents of the any of the vaccines, both in the past and after receiving the first of 2 doses of the vaccine (Pfizer or Moderna)
*** Long term COVID symptoms I’ve experienced include brain fog (can’t recall activities that I’ve done or need to do), anomic aphasia (word-finding difficulties), and rashes to the skin.
**** PTSD incidents began to occur for me when both Hubby & I got COVID; especially when Hubby required hospitalization and *barely* squeaked by with NOT having to go on the vent
So I’m warning you again, If you don’t want to read about Politics & Catholicism, then click away and don’t bother reading Part One, either
Okay, don’t say that I didn’t warn you!
Hopefully you’ve read my (entire) post about Catholicism & Politics (with emphasis on Catholicism). Have you decided where I stand on that ONE platform? Have you decided where YOU stand (again) on that ONE platform? The same ONE that most (not all) Christians base their reasons to support one particular candidate for president?
Because now I’m going to emphasize on Politics. So, if you don’t wanna read about it, I suggest that you skip reading this post all together. (Though I hope you do, as I believe I have some valid points.)
To start off, I’d like you to consider everything else that this country is currently experiencing. I want you to understand why it’s VITAL that every voter look at the bigger picture outside of Roe v Wade.
Let’s talk about my favorite issue first, healthcare & COVID-19. And YES, I do believe that COVID-19 exists. I had it. I felt it. It sucked. Big time. NO, I don’t believe in the whole 5G/Coronavirus conspiracy (which, BTW has been debunked several times). NO, I don’t think this virus was developed in a lab in China. Nor do I believe that the US Military created this virus and kept it hidden in a a super secret Military base, to be used for biological warfare. Those conspiracy theories (spread from both ends of the earth from the US to China to a mass of other countries), seek to divide us as a nation and as a First World Country around the globe.
Word of advice: If something sounds totally off the wall, chances are that they are. Fact check your sources. Research if there is ANY truth to whatever latest theory is out there. But more important, DO NOT share ANYTHING on FaceBook / Twitter / Reddit or or any other social media outlet until AFTER you’ve completed your fact-finding investigation. Do the same thing before sending out or forwarding an email to your family & friends. The same goes for text messaging. Most importantly, DO THIS BEFORE YOU CAST YOUR VOTE. It’s important, especially in today’s world to be well-informed about our government.
As it is, data can be misinterpreted as well. Sources regarding COVID-19 such as our Federal Government and other well-respected agencies like the CDC (?) or WHO (World Health Organization) are all reporting different numbers. Research the source you are using to find out where they gathering their data? (Personally, I trust WHO).
One thing that has been consistent is the number of COVID-19 related deaths. All agencies are reporting that the US is the leader in deaths. As 4:00 pm on Tuesday, October 6th, WHO reports 208,787 confirmed US deaths. How can our country have these numbers when the US is seen as the richest, wealthiest country in the world?
I can answer that. Well actually, I can answer it in many ways, but I will stick to just one example: Disparity in healthcare coverage.
Hopefully everyone has read and learned something about disparity, when it clearly has been all over every media outlet over the past week when Trump tested positive for COVID. (Wait, it’s only BEEN a week?) Here’s what I think:
How is it that government officials have access to COVID testing daily, when when the low-income / high risk population or even front line workers can’t even get one? I just think of how I was treated when I requested a COVID-19 test: “Why do you need one? and “Are you symptomatic? Well then you’ll just have to go home and quarantine.”
How is it that those in Healthcare careers, who are sacrificing their own health for the health of others go from Heroes To Zeroes?” where their moral obligation is to treat EVERYONE the same manner? How is it that we are asked to provide the absolute “best” treatment for COVID to someone the deem as a VIP (you know, major donors, celebrities, presidents)?
Why does Trump receive preferential treatment? Is it because of his insurance? Spare me the point that it’s because HE is the president and he deserves that treatment. Let me just point out that WE PAY for his healthcare (and salary, BTW) with the TAXES we contribute from our income. The guy hasn’t paid his income taxes but TWICE over the last 15 years; yet he gets FREE HEALTHCARE from us taxpayers. Furthermore, many of these same taxpayers can’t even qualify — let alone, afford — to receive healthcare for various reasons. Maybe they make too much money and/or have too many assets to qualify for Medicaid. But they also don’t have enough money to pay for a Marketplace (Affordable Care Act) insurance.
Lack of insurance is a HUGE problem for our entire population, especially for the low-income / high-risk population, where there is concern if they can afford medications, tests, office visits, hospital & ER admissions. This is a major factor on why people won’t seek, let alone receive care until it becomes an emergency.
And why does Trump continue to downplay the pandemic by essentially telling the country that he “survived” COVID? Why does he feel he needs to make sure the country knew he was still strong despite the obvious dyspnea (shortness of breath) he was hiding when he spoke to his “people” on the Truman Balcony after being discharged from the hospital? As someone who’s husband was admitted to the hospital for COVID-19, I call BS that he’s doing well. No one’s O2 saturations just recovers from COVID-19. Yes, they can be weaned off of oxygen, but may still require to use it with any shortness of breath from exertion. Hubby *still* had difficulty breathing for an additional week after his 3-week stay in the hospital. PLUS, Dexamethasone. Having been on steroids in the past, I know how great it feels once it kicks into your system (don’t even ask me how much I weighed about 2 months after starting them). So I’m assuming this “burst of energy” is why he thinks he’s doing better. And BTW, we haven’t see Trump in the last 2 days; perhaps his Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS) has returned.
Why does Trump still insist that COVID-19 is no big deal when close to 210K of our country has died from it? Why is he encouraging people to return to their normal lives, while simultaneously displaying that he doesn’t need to wear a mask anymore? The sheer fact that he walked into the White House without one, after instructing the country to “not let COVID rule your life,” just makes me SO. ANGRY. And then he has the gall to add, “Now I’m better, maybe I’m immune, I don’t know.” Does he realize that he has TOTALLY undermined (yet again) the entire Healthcare Profession by NOT following the standard treatment guidelines for COVID-19?
And BTW, standard protocol is that a positive COVID-19 patient should remain quarantined for 14 days from first known exposure PLUS an additional 72 hours after ALL symptoms are gone. (I mean, I’m not even gonna get into the cluster f**k that is contact tracing.) Yet again, he disregards everything that is considered protocol for any COVID-19 patients AND expects to get the best possible meds to treat COVID-19. Of which his physicians (and other non-medical personnel, because, you know — Science.) ALLOW him to DICTATE HIS CARE? IMHO those that allow him to get what he wants are complicit with his actions; they’ve become codependent. Seriously, working with Trump must be equivalent of taking care of a toddler.
Why does Trump insist to promise that vaccines will be “coming momentarily,” as his administration blocked the new FDA Coronavirus Standards? That’s important; especially for those in research and ultimately the recipients of the vaccine. There’s a reason why accurate trial studies need to be done prior to the distribution of the vaccine. Seriously, would YOU want to take a drug that has not been thoroughly studied? I’m exaggerating here, but what if you grow a donkey tail as a result of it? Or what if you, or worse your child develops a serious reaction to it? Would you take that risk if the vaccine was distributed today?
Again, remember Trump’s platform AND actions he has created / endorsed regarding COVID. Think about how his “date” with COVID-19 went for him; how he received the VIP treatment despite not having contributed tax dollars to insurance. Think about how he claims the common flu is more dangerous than COVID-19. Think about how he gives inaccurate data about the number of deaths from COVID-19 (again as of yesterday) versus the number of estimated flu-related deaths from 2018 to 2019 (32,157) versus the number Trump seems to consistently throw out (100,000).
Let’s tackle Economic Inequality next; though I straight-up confess that I don’t know US Economics that well.
First off, can I just say how absolutely despicable that Trump has been robbing from the poor to make him rich? He’s the Anti-Robin Hood of modern times. Anyways, please think of the man who does such things and ask yourself if you would want to be complicit (or worse, apathetic) with his actions.
And then Trump claims that he is the most successful president in history by passing the “Best. Tax cuts. Ever.” Yes, he provided tax cuts for everyone; however, in reality these tax breaks (in the long run), favor large corporations and savvy investors who know how to hide their money. Not the “Everyday Jane / Joe” who could *actually* use the tax break.
Let’s face it, Big Corporations are really the ones ruining — oops, I mean RUNNING — our government. Worst yet is that they are typically white privilege men who work by using the “Good Ol’ Boys” mentality; in other words, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.” Trump, prior to being elected, is a *fine* example of that. How many business ventures of his have failed? How many people has he financially ruined every time he declared bankruptcy? How much money did he ACTUALLY receive from claiming losses on his different ventures?
How do YOU think Trump is currently doing, by treating the US Government as Big Business with him as CEO and Congress as the Board of Trustees, rather than the Executive and Legislative branches of our Democracy that had been developed by our Founding Fathers and was written in our Constitution? (We won’t even *talk* about what’s happening in the third branch, the judicial branch AKA the Supreme and Federal Courts. (RGB RIP)
Hear me out first, as I somewhat understand why many people voted for Trump in 2016. He promised that he’d bring back jobs to the US. He promised to “drain the swamp” in Washington DC. He promised to “Make America Great Again.” And now he wants to “Keep America Great Again.” Has he delivered on that?
Jobs: The average unemployment rate from 2017 to March 2020 was 6.8. And that’s before the pandemic. Compare that from 2013 to 2016, Obama’s last 4 years, that average is 5.8.
“Draining the Swamp” In other words, removing corruption from the White House and run a government that would “serve ordinary Americans rather than personal and/or special interest groups.” HAH!
Let’s talk about his family; in particular, Jared & Ivanka. Didn’t Trump specifically promise during his 2016 campaign that he would relinquish the reigns of “The Trump Organization” to his children? (Nepotism anyone?) And then demand that The Kushner’s receive high-level security clearance, despite all the red flags that intelligence officials were concerned regarding Jared. Why give them this clearance? For what reason?
As for Ivanka, it was recently discovered in Trump’s (unreleased) tax return that “The Trump Organization” paid $747,622 in fees to an “unnamed consultant” for international hotel projects related to his business. I find interesting that this *exact amount* was paid out to Ivanka through a consulting firm that she co-owns. And we’re giving her clearance that allows her access to data that affects national security, counterterrorism / counterintelligence, and other highly sensitive data?
Now let’s see who Trump “handpicked” since the start of his term to “serve ordinary Americans.” And which staff Trump placed, then replaced, and replaced again; over and over, ad nauseam. In fact, Trump prefers to use the term that “acting people” work in his administration. He has explained the turnover by stating that “the reason they are ‘acting’ is because I’m seeing how I like them.” Really. Not kidding. As of September 30 2020, Trump has had a total of 415 individuals that were dismissed or resign. I guess he thinks the US Government is like his reality TV show, The Apprentice.
But seriously, let’s compare the percentage of staff turnovers for the last 6 presidents’ “A Team” (the group of the president’s top advisors) during their first term: Reagan 78% | Bush Sr 66% | Clinton 74% | Bush Jr 63% | Obama 53% |Trump 91%. Hmmm … I can *almost* hear Trump saying his tag line in The Apprentice. “Your FIRED!”
I promise, I’m almost done; however, I wanted to take the time to discuss racism within our country. Studies have found that, during this current state of unrest, rates regarding race-related encounters has increased. (Duh!) But it was also reported that this unrest was NOT a result of what happed to George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and the countless others who haven’t received as much news coverage. Or the shootings in Charlottesville and Kenosha. Or how the National Guard was deployed for riot control. Rather it is a result of the systemic growth of racism against race, religion, immigrants, and ethnic backgrounds; especially our Native Americans. Let’s not forget that countless countries arrived in the “New World” stealing the land out from our indigenous people in order to colonize / convert others to their ways, religion, etc.
So, let’s get down to it. Here’s what I want you to remember when it comes to casting your vote.
We currently have a US President who actually *promotes* segregation. He certainly has proven that time & time again. How can he blame the far-left for actions that have been linked to the far-right? He refuses to acknowledge that there are even ANY far-right groups, let alone state that these groups were responsible for instigating riots among peaceful protestors. He ABSOLUTELY refuses to commit to denouncing the actions of such groups. The “Stand down, and stand by” statement should be a clue that he seeks to diminish the lives of others who they deem inferior to them. Another one would be, “There are fine people on both sides.” Don’t just focus on “fine people.” Rather, focus on the “both sides” statement. Does it sound like he’s trying to bring people together?
What about “The Wall” which Trump wants Mexico to fund? Or that he calls COVID-19 the “China Flu” or “Kung-flu?” As a first-generation Filipino American, I find those things absolutely disgusting; especially because he is the face of our nation. I’m not sure how anyone could call Trump a leader when he can’t even lead appropriately. A good leader seeks to lead the people he’s responsible for; a great leader is one that seeks to find balance and inclusion. Trump doesn’t have the ability to unite our country; instead, he aims to divide and segregate. I’m ashamed that he’s the face of our country and that his actions on the world front likely confirm (or at least lead them to suspect) that all Americans are like him. (Please Canada or Australia or New Zealand! Please let me immigrate to your countries!)
Has Trump provided support for others that are not like him or don’t have the same beliefs as he does? As it is, he actively seeks to separate families. And YES, I understand (though don’t agree with) why he’s deporting “illegal immigrants.” But what about the children left behind that were placed in Migrant Detention Centers? Trump has no problem about talking how he’s going remove all the “illegals,” but I honestly can’t recall a time where he’s addressed and / or acknowledge these children and the horrid conditions the children live. These centers are overpacked and understaffed, let alone fully stocked on basic needs, which results in these children living in a manner where they don’t have sufficient food or even access to showers (let alone soap & shampoo). How can Trump turn a blind eye to all of this? How, as Catholics are we protecting THESE lives?
I have SO much to say about Racism, both in the past and in the present. But maybe that’s another entirely separate post. Because yes. I know this is long.
So what spouted this verbal (written?) diarrhea? Well, definitely the 2020 Presidential Election and whether or not a voter should decide on a particular candidate because of ONE platform that the Catholic Church has about life. But it also goes back to the initial article by Jeannie Gaffigan that I shared in the previous post.
As a frequent fact checker and as person that has always had a thirst for knowledge, I actually did my own research about Politics & Catholicism.
What I found was a guide written by the US Catholic Bishops regarding the political responsibilities of a Catholic citizen. This guide DOES NOT tell you what or who a Catholic should choose when voting; rather it suggests how your Catholic faith can intermingle with Politics so that the voter can make an informed decision.
This is one lengthy document with a LOT of information about the Church’s stance on particular issues. It also talks about whether or not one should vote on one candidate based on a SINGLE PLATFORM the candidate subscribes to during the campaign. What I got out of reading this guide was that the Church suggests that we should consider ALL of the candidate’s past actions / behaviors / issues which may go against your moral code. In short, this guide asks you to CONSIDER THE WHOLE PICTURE. In fact, there is a portion of this guide that advises this action:
“In making these decisions, it is essential for Catholics to be guided by a well-formed conscience that recognizes that all issues do not carry the same moral weight and that the moral obligation to oppose policies promoting intrinsically evil acts has a special claim on our consciences and our actions.
These decisions should take into account a candidate’s commitment, character, integrity, and ability to influence a given issue. In the end, this is a decision to be made by each Catholic, guided by a conscience formed by Catholic moral teaching.”
So yes. Once more, please please PLEASE be informed about all the candidates’ stance on issues, their integrity and character before voting. Ask yourself if either candidate will be able to lead our country. And when the elected candidate leaves the Executive Office, try to imagine what kind of legacy that person will leave for our country, let alone the Earth we share with other countries. Consider how you believe that person will shape our country and the world for the future generations.
That’s it. That’s all I can write about for now. (Whew!) I will sign off after leaving another portion of the Catholic Bishops’ guide.
From the “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship: A Call to Political Responsibility from the Catholic Bishops of the United States”
“The political realities of our nation present us with opportunities and challenges. We are a nation found in ‘life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,’ but we are too often divided across lines of race, ethnicity, and economic inequality.
But the right to life itself is not fully protected, especially for unborn children, the terminally ill, and the elderly; the most vulnerable members of the American family.
We are called to be peacemakers in a nation at war. We are a country pledged to pursue ‘liberty and justice for all,’ but we are too often divided across lines of race, ethnicity, and economic inequality.
We are a nation of immigrants, struggling to address the challenges of many new immigrants in our midst. We are a society built on the strength of our families, [where we are] called to defend marriage and offer moral and economic supports for family life.
We are a powerful nation in a violent world, confronting terror and trying to build a safer, more just, more peaceful world. We are an affluent society where too many live in poverty and lack health care and other necessities of life.
We are part of a global community charged with being good stewards of the earth’s environment, what Pope Francis calls ‘our common home,’ which is being threatened.
They are intertwined and inseparable. As Pope Francis has insisted, ‘We are faced . . . with one complex crisis which is both social and environmental. Strategies for a solution demand an integrated approach to combating poverty, restoring dignity to the excluded, and at the same time protecting nature.’”
Warning you now. If you don’t want to read about Politics & Catholicism, then click away and don’t bother reading Part Two, either!
Another chance to change your mind
Okay, don’t say that I didn’t warn you!
Before writing this extremely long tirade regarding Politics & Catholicism, I truly debated if I should share this article, let alone go on a rant. As you can see, I ultimately did.
This article was written by Jeannie Gaffigan, the wife of well-known comedian Jim Gaffigan. In this piece written for “America: The Jesuit Review,” Jeannie stated that — though she is firmly Catholic in her beliefs, and is most-definitely pro-life (as most Catholics are) — wrote that she will not be voting for Trump this election. She stated the impetus for writing this essay was the Twitter Storm that ensued after Jim, who has always been non-political in every single act he performed or interview he has done, had uncharacteristically tweeted a “profanity-laden rant against President Trump.”
Personally, I don’t think the tweet was that bad; however, the responses he received (as well as on Jeannie’s own Twitter account) was full of vitriol & hate. And many of them (continued to) spread misinformation. Several responses even turned to quoting Trump when he called his opponent as a “fake Catholic.”
Which, for someone who ordered law enforcement to deliver tear gas to peaceful protestors & the surrounding media personnel standing in his way just for a photo opportunity, Trump certainly didn’t display Christian-like behavior. Ironically, that photo op was to show the public that he is a good, God-fearing Christian. In actuality, his actions prior to this photo op (and even after the tear gas was delivered) proved that he is definitely NOT Christian. Seriously, he doesn’t even know how to hold the Bible properly!
But we’ll get to that in my next diatribe, as I suspect this post will end up being super long. Anyhoo …
After Jim’s tweet, close friends and families of theirs had privately came up to Jeannie to informed her that they didn’t like Trump either; in fact, they hate everything else that he stands for. However, they also suggested that as a “Real Catholic,” she should “hold [her] nose and vote for Trump if only because the Catholic faith dictates, above all, we must vote for the pro-life” candidate.”
What I like the most about Jeannie’s article is she stated so eloquently those exact reasons that *I* won’t vote for Trump. Well, actually she quotes from Pope Francis’ message that he delivered to the US as a result of the #BlackLivesMatter campaign, which went into overdrive following the death of George Floyd and other similar events (before and after) his death.
Pope Francis said, “We cannot tolerate or turn a blind eye to racism and exclusion in any form and yet claim to defend the sacredness of every human life.”
Jeannie then wrote that systemic racism in our our current culture has led to the economic and social inequality we’re currently experiencing — or rather, just now “noticing” — in our country. And in the current state of affairs, it is virtually impossible to claim that we (as Catholics) are truly practicing a “culture of life,” which protects the the sanctity of ALL life. Jeannie goes on to add that , “… we [as Catholics] have been complicit in a long history of de-valuing our fellow human beings based on the color of their skin or the way they came to this country.”
As someone who has had 12 years of Catholic education (and has also been label a “Fake Catholic”), this goes against everything I learned about humanity in school and during the thousands of homilies I’ve listened to in the course of my life thus far. And, although my Mom sees me as a “Lapsed Catholic,” I want her to know that all the money that my parents spent on my education did not go to waste. I have *always* turned to what I was fundamentally taught during my formative years. And I continue to practice these principles of Catholicism today; not only spiritually, but ethically as well.
My actions are the result of practicing a lesson that I was taught during my formative years and is a moral principle for several different faiths:
“Love one another; [and] just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
The Golden Rule, or as it is defined by theologians, the “Ethics of Reciprocity.“ It’s the first thing you are taught in Catholic school (and/or catechism classes). It’s the one act that is almost inherent for most Christians, and the rule that even any empathetic person that choose to be agnostic or an atheist.
As someone who chose to be an RN, I am inherently drawn to treat everyone with empathy, of which I learned from that Golden Rule. It certainly is a lesson taught in Med School (“First, do no harm”) and Nursing School (via The Modern Nightingale Pledge that “Nursing is a ‘Missioner of Health … dedicated to the advancement of human welfare.’”)
How about Muslims?” you might ask. While not directly quoted in the Quran, Muslims also have the intrinsic belief that they “must think about how their actions affect others; to see the world in a whole new way – through the eyes of another.”
The basic gist is: Be good to one another.
Can you, as a Christian, think that Trump is following the Golden Rule? Jeannie Gaffigan certainly doesn’t think so, stating in her article that “Mr. Trump is only pro-Mr. Trump.” How can someone claiming to be Christian say that prisoners of war and soldiers who died defending our freedom are “losers” or “suckers” ?!?
I could cite many (MANY) more examples of how pathologically narcissistic Mr. Trump is; but I won’t. Yet.
Any sane Christian would agree that Trump has broken all Ten Commandments AND has committed all of the seven of the Deadly Sins. I (obviously) subscribe to that thought. Wholeheartedly. However, after much reflection and prayers (yes, Mom, I DO pray) I cannot vote for a person who is not sympathetic, let alone empathetic. Trump definitely does not think of others, except if it affected him personally. As a matter of fact, I believe he doesn’t even *think* about — let alone pray for — those individuals & groups that do not subscribe to his beliefs. Truthfully (and stay with me here, my friends), Trump probably doesn’t know the Beatitudes, much less recognize that MANY Christians use this as a guide to *understand* and learn from those individuals / groups / religions whose thoughts don’t align with their own beliefs.
As a refresher for my friends (and a lesson for those friends that are not familiar with the Beatitudes), here they are:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me.
Forgive me if you find the following sentences insulting. Before you cast your ballot (stone?), I beg you you to See. The. Whole. Picture. Before deciding who should represent and lead the American People. Please DO NOT cast your vote simply because of the ONE platform on the current president’s stance – or rather “indifference” – regarding Roe v Wade. Think of the OTHER platforms that he promotes during his (COVID-19 ridden, non-mask wearing, anti-social distancing) rallies.
Let me say this in another way. If you (Catholics & Christians) are planning on voting for Trump just because he agrees with only ONE of his many platforms he’s using to run his campaign; or because who is “for” (better stated, “indifferent” about) Roe v Wade .. please please PLEASE remember those Beatitudes. Ask yourself if Trump plans on helping ALL the individuals named in the Beatitudes, as WELL as those unborn children who’s life you’re fighting to defend.
Does that mean I’m pro-life? As a confirmed Catholic, that answer is tricky and it depends on the events & situations surrounding the woman & her loved ones. I think there are circumstances such as complications during pregnancy, as well as the lack of support & financial means to raise a child, are involved in making a decision. And I am aware that, even if it’s not directly stated in the Bible, the interpretation is that the woman should keep the child.
But (and this is where I bring up empathy) think about it in the context of yourself, your sister, mother, aunt, daughter, grand-daughter:
What if you were single or married to an abusive spouse? What about the safety of the the child once he/she is born?
What if your sister is unable to financially afford even the basics for herself, let alone a child?
What if your daughter’s pregnancy happened as a result of rape? Of incest? Of sex trafficking?
What if your grand-daughter had a miscarriage in the late 2nd or 3rd trimester? Would you expect her to keep the lifeless child in her womb until she is able to deliver her stillborn baby?
What if, in the desire to have children, your infertile daughter & son-in-law seeks other means to start their family and it doesn’t “take”? What if they didn’t have enough money to go through another round, using frozen eggs .. But they can’t anyway because they didn’t have enough frozen eggs to even try again? What if a year passes, and your daughter (now confused, hurt, and ashamed with still not having kids) receives a call to renew the “rent” to keep these eggs frozen — but didn’t have the thousands of dollars it takes to keep them frozen for another year? What if that couple had no other choice but to “give them up?”
Yes, that last situation was true. And yes, it did happen to me.
What about adoption, you may ask? Well, let me ask you to put your empathy hat on once again. What if your sister wants, yet knows she is unable, to keep the child (for various reasons as mentioned above)? What if your sister was given different CHOICES and ultimately decided to put the child up for adoption? As a woman who is infertile (well, menopausal TBH), I believe that this is *much harder* to do than the general public would think.
If you *truly* believe that adoption will “solve everything,” then, once again, you should examine the whole picture. Ask your sister why she is / was leaning one way or the other. Understand the various reasons your sister is making (or already made) the decision she did. Seek to understand, rather than instruct your sister what she should do.
Don’t tell your sister what YOU would do in her situation; rather, ask her what YOU can do for her.
And support (and RESPECT) her decision, regardless of it goes against your belief.
I can’t tell you what it would be like to give up a child (we couldn’t even have one if / when we tried, anyway 🙃😝😂) or even to end a viable pregnancy, but I imagine that person would continue to live her life with a ginormous gaping wound in her heart; knowing that her child or his / her spirit is out there somewhere. I imagine she will always have the feeling that a part of her is missing in her life and stay with her the rest of her days, even when she wanted to get / could get pregnant again.
Can you see the resemblance in emotions for a woman that couldn’t have kids of her own? After over 15 years of infertility, I *still* have that gaping wound and hole in my heart (and can’t forget “good old Catholic guilt”) from our attempts to have biological children of our own. From losing those frozen eggs.
So I can hear the question now: “Why didn’t you & your husband try to adopt?” As an infertile couple, we DID consider that alternative. Let me just tell you (from experience) that it isn’t EASY to “just adopt.” There are financial issues, privacy issues, and the overall feeling that you’re not “good enough” to be *approved* by the agency to be placed on a list; let alone *chosen* by a woman. For those that sought to adopt, I’m simply in awe that they could open their hearts and home to accept a non-biological child. I’m absolutely thrilled that those adoptions were successful, and that they were able to start (or complete) their family in this method.
In my case, I was overwhelmed by the thought of starting our family by adoption. My confidence had been shattered to pieces by years of doctors appointments (sometimes daily looky-see’s down there 😱). Simply stated, I couldn’t “just adopt” after years of failure and disappointment to have a biological child of our own. I was afraid that, even though we might have been chosen to be parents of that women’s child, the biological mother or father or other family members may change their mind and then take away the baby I had been wanting to raise since first go married. I had no power in our ability to have biological children let alone adopt, so at least I can direct the narrative of our situation and “Let God, let go.”
Obviously, Hubby and I ultimately decided that if it was meant to be, then it would be. And since nothing came of it, we decided to be fur parents instead. After finally making the decision to remain child-free, I felt the entire weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.
So after reading my own experience, ask me again if I’m pro-life or pro-choice. Ask me if I believe that each person is unique and that their life experiences lead them to make the decision they do / did. I know what I am, but I want you, as a reader, decide on where I stand — and where YOU stand — on this issue.
Okay, as I knew this would be a long post, I will just leave off here and continue my rant in the following (long) post.
Read Part 2 now. Or later. I have no problem if you decided to take a break, especially if you feel I’ve talked (written?) your ear (eyes?) off.
I have always believed that certain elements in life have a purpose. When I found myself at odds with my personal beliefs in my previous position, I was unable to search for employment within the healthcare insurance business. I had signed a non-compete clause preventing me from finding employment at a competitor within a 50 mile radius of this particular company.
I had no idea what I would do next. I had worked as an RN Case Manager within the Healthcare Industry for more than 15 years. I had also been away from bedside nursing for close to 20 years. My only recourse (other than moving 50 miles away) was to look for Care Management positions in an office setting or return to the hospital setting.
When I saw a posting for Care Management positions at The Mothership as well as our oldest Legacy Sister, I knew I had to try for both. I felt good about the Legacy interview, but I was secretly hoping I would get a chance to interview at The Mothership.
After all, I had started my nursing career at this place some 25 years ago. I formed lifelong bonds with many of those that worked alongside me either at the bedside on the unit or as a Case Manager. They were my “family,” everyone throughout the Mothership knew or knew of each other. Despite the size at that time, going to work mostly felt as if I was going over to a friend’s house to work on a project.
The only reason I left was because I had the opportunity to work for Big Blue’s Younger Sister. It was a Monday thru Friday gig with no weekends or holidays or working odd hours. A welcomed relief from rotating days and afternoons and making sure that I worked at least 3 of the 6 holidays of the year.
Imagine my surprise when I arrived at The Mothership and the interviewer was the Case Manager (CM) I worked with as a staff nurse. In fact, I credit this person with steering me into a career in Case Management. I consider this person to be one of my Touchstones; showing up (even after I left the hospital) during those times I needed an ear to listen or a hug to tell me that things would be okay. Knowing that I was interviewing with her (now in a leadership position) was the moment I realized that the purpose for leaving my previous job was to return to the hospital setting.
It was like coming home that first week at Beaumont. Besides Touchstone, I ran into several members of my Mothership “family” who remained at the Mothership for all those years. I was happy that they remembered me; from the transporters that brought up our post-op patients to the unit. To those RN’s who worked side-by-side with me during some of the toughest days as a brand new (and even seasoned) nurse. I was even caught off guard when I ran into my former Nurse Manager (another Touchstone who had graduated from the floors to become a high-ranking RN at The Mothership). At first walked passed me, but stopped in her tracks, turned around, and called out my name, genuinely happy to see me back at The Mothership.
I also found out that many of the Case Managers I worked with during my first stint at the Mothership were still in the same department. In fact, when given the opportunity to choose my assigned unit, I chose the one where I knew two of the CMs in that office. Best. Decision. Ever.Seeing many familiar faces at The Mothership was a testament that these long-standing employees were valued and respected. Sure, there had been a few changes (holy huge new tower, Batman!) to The Mothership since I was last there; but overall, there was still that element of pride for working at an established well-known hospital. These employees were proud to say where they worked, because The Mothership only hired the best.
Flash forward to The Mothership today, seven years later. So much had changed in that amount of time, including Headquarters (HQ) attitude towards patient care and employee satisfaction. Within those 7 years, The System changed CEO’s and expanded their reach to the south-/south-western part of the Metro Area. Suddenly The System was obsessed with the merger; streamlining processes so that ALL Ships were doing the same thing.
The new CEO, though he tried to sound down-to-earth (Folks, anyone?), was somehow never visible at The Mothership. In fact I only recall him showing up at The Mothership ONCE for a Town Hall Meeting with the employees. I’m sure CEO – who, BTW is an accountant – had been to The Mothership several times, probably for other executive level meetings; however, in the 5 years that CEO has been with The System, I had never seen or met him in person.
This was a departure from past CEOs who made a point to sit with employees to take The System’s pulse, ask us how we felt and what we think should change. I just felt I couldn’t trust someone who didn’t make an effort to understand how The Mothership’s engine worked and how The Mothership remained afloat.That was the first inkling of concern I had about the direction of The System. CEO would “advertise” that he was “rounding” with multiple departments and units throughout The System. There would be videos of CEO at all the other Ships, but I had never (to this day) seen CEO do the same for The Mothership. While boasting about being transparent on his weekly email blasts, many of his decisions were made without the input of any of the “worker bee” employees. Many times The Mothership employees felt as if the wind had been knocked out of them, because changes that CEO helped implement were never clearly communicated. I quickly realized that CEO could talk the talk, but could never walk the walk. Or rather WANT to walk the walk.
What cemented my concern was two-fold. The first event was when they moved the entire Care Mgmt Dept from under Nursing’s umbrella to Finance’s umbrella. It was certainly a shift when we were used to having support from Nursing leaders. Now it felt that Finance didn’t understand (or care to realize) the importance having clinically experienced nurses and MSWs to assist in coordinating patient care during and after leaving in the hospital.
In fact The Mothership’s new CFO asked to shadow a CM to see what our day was like. I was apparently one of the CM’s who was chosen. Of course the day she sat down with me, there was none of the constant interruptions by multiple healthcare disciplines including outside vendors & insurance companies. There was no irate patient or family member who was insistent that they needed to remain in this step-down unit.
CFO lasted for less than 1.5 hours that day; often telling me that the “issues” we were experiencing were “normal” because she saw the same exact issues as the former CFO of another Out-of-State hospital. It was clear that this CFO had never spent time at the bedside; nor did CFO care to understand how many facets of Case Management there was.
CFO likely never had to explain to a patient or family member why he/she didn’t meet the “criteria” to go to Inpatient Rehab and therefore, his/her insurance wouldn’t pay for an IP Rehab stay. All while simultaneously encouraging family to choose from a list of Subacute Rehabs, which any lay person may see as a putting their loved one in a “Nursing Home.” (FYI, it’s not. There are multiple “levels” of care at any Nursing Facility.)
Better yet, I’m sure CFO had never had to participate in a Multidisciplinary Meeting with the family of a patient — who could no longer breathe on his/her own and was unable to communicate his/her wishes — to discuss goals of care for their loved one, even when every discipline & specialty consultants agreed that the current course of treatment was futile in nature. More often than none, these family meetings would turn into a WWE-like match; family members uncontrollably sobbing. Parents & Siblings screaming expletive words at one another or — better yet — throwing things at one another.
Sometimes just being in the vicinity, that flying object would veer off track and hit you instead. Sometimes meetings ended with a family member grabbing you and begging you to pull out my “magic bag” and “fix things.” Tell me that, while still trying to maintain professional composure, you wouldn’t feel some sort of responsibility to help that family … even if it is to assure them that we’ve exhausted all possibilities.
Instead what was often seen by CEO and CFO was the “number of days” (or “Length of Stay” in healthcare terms) that the patient had accumulated while in the hospital. Or the cost that The Mothership was incurring because of a complication that occurred during a patient’s hospital stay. In short, HQ and The Mothership had no experience in having those face-to-face conversations. They had never had to explain, in person, why the patient’s insurance won’t cover his / her IV antibiotic and was unable to find the right resources for any type of medication assistance. Or sat next to a patient to tell him / her that there were no other places that they can go (other than home) from the hospital because his insurance terminated, or the benefit wasn’t available. Or speak with families who insists they can no longer take care of their loved one at home but aren’t financially able to afford personal caregiver services or an apartment on an Assisted Living Campus.
The Mothership suddenly felt like a “fantasy football league.” It was all about statistics, what the “player” can bring to the table, and the resulting money they would save / make on this particular activity. Patients no longer were human in their eyes; instead, they became numbers & stats in the literal Game of Life. And us employees were just pawns (or “players”) in helping them achieve a championship title. Which would then result in vast improvements for their chances of success (aka the ability to increase The System’s revenue … or their pockets).
The second concern presented when they hired an “Interim” Director of Care Mgmt for The Mothership to “overhaul” the way that us “players” approached every single activity / responsibility assigned to our department.
Nicknamed Hurricane, she tore through The Mothership, many times treating us as second graders. The best description I could come up with was that she reminded me of Professor Dolores Umbridge in the HP series — she talks all sugary and sweet; all while demeaning you and relishing the power that she had been given.
Hurricane destroyed the Care Mgmt Dept’s confidence; often pushing activities that may work at the The System’s smaller Ships onto The Mothership, who had double (sometimes triple) the number of licensed beds. The Mothership was where the other Ships tended to transfer their complex patients. The Mothership had world-renown physicians in pretty much every specialty of care.
I don’t disagree that a hospital of this size can be difficult to “manage” and HQ often has to reel in departments where their activities may have pushed things too far. However, the one thing that had always (previously?) been true is that The Mothership was able to quickly adjust to the needs of the community, sometimes finding ways to achieve outcomes that would best serve the patient. Often times, The Mothership’s various departments would try their best and work *together* to achieve the desired results.
This didn’t matter to Hurricane. She forced her beliefs onto the Care Mgmt Dept, often threatening that we needed to “get on the bus” and get with the program. (Seriously. we were actually given a “ticket” to get on the damn bus.) If we didn’t then we should stay off “the bus” because there were other people “standing in line” willing to “get with all the changes.”
In other words, we were replaceable.
Hurricane stayed on until a new permanent Director of Care Mgmt was hired; she was to “mentor” this New Director (to “continue the work” that she had started). Unfortunately, our hopes of having someone that could understand the nuances of The Mothership while confidently, yet calmly assist us through change and adjust course as needed (as we had multiple times), were dashed. After our experience with Hurricane we were hoping that our New Director (ND) would advocate for our department.
ND often had a way of making decisions without thoroughly understanding what the results of her actions would be down the road. It didn’t help that ND was (like most of leadership after current CEO took the reins) came from outside The System. They often failed to get any input from other seasoned CM’s or Leadership on what has / hasn’t worked in the past. Once she made her decision, ND typically stood her ground; never acknowledging that her “change du jour” wasn’t achieving the outcome she wanted. As a result, she would try out another change (again without others’ input), which would result in yet another change in process. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
If Hurricane didn’t completely destroy our self-confidence, the snap-decisions that ND made certainly did. More than often, no one could remember what the “latest process” was for an activity. Everyone felt as if ND+Minions were trying break us; aiming to pit us against one another. CM’s felt as if the Auth Coordinators (we won’t even get into THAT role) and the MSWs were out to “get them,” and vice versa. ND in essence, silo’d each of our roles; shifting responsibilities to and fro, all while adding new non-essential tasks that didn’t require an RN or an MSW to perform. Hurricane and ND’s actions ultimately had their employees questioning all the smart, talented, dedicated, and hardworking employees were even marginally “good” at our job.
They turned those employees who used to be proud that they worked for The Mothership into employees who were embarrassed to say where they worked. This type of behavior ultimately resulted in the employees resenting both The Mothership and The System.
Between Hurricane and ND’s actions (or lack thereof), the Care Mgmt Dept has lost (at the very minimum) 20 or so highly experienced CM’s, MSW’s, Auth Coord’s, and clerical staff. Many of those who had years of experience working at The Mothership.
Our department was already stretched thin when COVID-19 hit. Rather than showing support for the frontline employees, The System’s CEO (an accountant; likely with no bedside experience), had already began to complain about the loss of revenue that would occur because of this pandemic. CEO talked about how canceled surgeries and cardiac procedures, which are the main bread & butter (for The Mothership, anyway) and the payroll for the Frontline workers would result a major net loss for The System.
Let that sink in: While the community-at-large was showing appreciation for us frontline workers, The System’s CEO was complaining about having to pay them.
Bravery at that time, apparently became a detriment to The System’s (already) Deep Pockets, which ultimately led to many positions being terminated or placed on furlough in the “April Sweeps.”
Unfortunately, The Mothership’s Care Mgmt Dept seemed to turn into a microcosmic version of HQ; of what was going on systemically at The System’s Executive Level. Just like the other employees throughout The Mothership (and likely throughout the other Ships), there was an overall feeling of oppression; of feeling that you weren’t allowed to make any decisions without leadership’s approval.
And if the Head Cheese acted in such a manner, then this allowed other leaders below CEO to act in the same way to their peers under them. And so forth and so on, until it reaches those frontline workers, who have no recourse but to remain silent.
The frustration most of us felt throughout The Mothership was *never* about appreciation. It was (and still is) about feeling respected and valued. Of what we could bring to the table. It was about The System voicing that they were being transparent and honest with all their activities when they really weren’t.
In the Mothership’s Care Mgmt Dept, this ultimately lead to the lack of trust in our department’s leadership. Often times, we felt as if there was Game of Thrones-type scheming behind our backs; leading us to feel as if our jobs were in peril.
As most of us (especially the RN’s) went into the healthcare industry to *help* our patients & family members during a time wrought with uncertainty, the tendency was to make sure that we were providing the best care possible while in the hospital. In short, we practice empathy; constantly working hard for our patients & families, often at the expense of our own family and personal lives.
Things get difficult when what Management deems that their “priority” is more important than what should be best for the patient. (I’ll let you decide what our priority is: Making sure The Mothership gets paid? Or making sure the patient is discharged safely? Hint: it’s all about the Benjamins.)
Never mind that some of these “priority” tasks do not require an RN or an MSW to complete. Yes, some of those tasks are driven by the government (IMM letters, anyone?) but it doesn’t require assigning an RN (who sometimes has the clinical knowledge that could sometimes rival a first-year resident) to perform them.
If ND+Minions could understand that taking these non-essential tasks off our plates will result in improvement in The System & The Mothership’s outcomes. By doing this, it would allow us to perform more value-added tasks in addition to addressing all activities that the CFO & ND deemed as priorities which would ultimately improve our “stats.”
Unfortunately, our current Administration (at both The System & The Mothership) are too short-sighted to realize that what they consider a priority now will only hurt them financially in the long run. Fast Cash followed by Free Fall.
Long-winded, I know … but these are the reasons why, despite absolutely *loving* what I do, I feel I can no longer work for The Mothership and The System. For those that know me, I’m extremely passionate about everything I do; especially with Care Management. Unfortunately, right now there is way too much on our plates that I feel that I’m unable to give the 100% I typically do. As it is, I am OCD enough where I need to make sure that things are done in the correct manner. To do that, I would find myself working 12 hours a day, but only get paid for 8 hours. Anything to help the patient and the healthcare team.
Quite frankly, going in to work (especially of late) had been a struggle. I often felt defeated by the end of the day because I couldn’t do the necessary tasks that were needed before I left. This had affected my confidence to the point that I felt I was always angry at what was going on … not only at The Mothership level, but The System level as well. I knew I needed to get out of that toxic environment (which instilled fear and mistrust in CEO, CFO, ND as well as among ourselves) not only for my own sanity, but my Dear Husband’s (DH) sanity as well.
It breaks my heart that I’m leaving my family once again. For the past 7 years I’ve had the pleasure of working with incredible nurses, physicians, APPs, Physical & Occupational therapists (PT/OT), and other ancillary healthcare staff. From the pharmacy & their techs to nutritional support dietitians. From the cashiers in the cafeteria & concourse (who pretty much know my breakfast order) to the environmental service staff that always pop their heads into our office to see if we need our trash emptied. (We always said ” No, thank you,” only in part because it was cathartic hearing the trash bags clank down the chute. It was like throwing out all the negative juju we experienced that day.)
The people who I will miss the most are those that have been in the trenches with me … The RNs (including their management team) that work bedside us on the Medical Purgatory – I mean Progressive Care Unit I was assigned to. The PT/OT staff who was always available to do a session for patients whose insurance required their notes to determine what the most appropriate level of rehab the insurance deems most appropriate for the patient. The Respiratory Therapists who put up with all my questions about Vent / BiPAP settings and trach sizes & types; especially because I’m constantly pestering them to perform home O2 evals.
I will miss the incredible Liaisons from all the different facilities, agencies, companies; especially my favorite LTACH girl (who gets things DONE) and the Home & Hospice agency who always reminds me that the tasks I perform do not “succ.” I will certainly miss those physicians / residents and APPs who were always ready & willing to be participating team players in coordinating post-discharge care needs.
Most of all, I will miss the ladies that have sat side-by-side pretty much every day; my office sisters. They have been a constant influence in my life and have gotten me through some pretty rough patches. I will also miss all the other CM’s, MSW’s, Docs, APPs, and staff RNs who knew that our office door was always (figuratively) open for those that needed a place to decompress, vent, or even swear or cry. They knew that what happened in office stayed in our office.
I will miss those Touchstones, old and new. I will miss my Mothership Touchstones I had as a staff nurse. I will miss the Touchstone who fueled my passion for Care Management.
In fact, I relish all of my Touchstones. Though we no longer work together, I appreciate the lessons my Manager at Younger Sister taught me when I decided to try my hand at leadership. The Number One lesson was the first lesson this Touchstone ever taught me; and I continue to carry this lesson today even if I’m no longer in a leadership role. This Touchstone taught me that the most important thing about being a good leader was not to mess with people’s time (both as it relates to time-off AND length of time of any interaction/task) & pay.
Though they may no longer be my boss, these Touchstones have provided me with the confidence I needed to remember; that I am ten times better than what I think I am.
Yesterday was my last day at The Mothership. On Monday I start a new position at The School. It had always been a dream for me to work at The School. When the opportunity came up, my confidence was so shaken that I didn’t think I would get the job. At the persistence (and blessings) from my office sisters, I went for it and was genuinely surprised when I was offered this position.
I believe that going though the past seven years has lead me to this new path in my career. Despite what HQ and the leaders at The Mothership have put me through, I believe that my stint here had *purpose.* You have all lifted me up at one time or another. You are the people that gave me my courage and confidence.
I am truly sorry to those I haven’t been able to see before I left. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of activity and — in true Mothership fashion — my last day was fraught with issues requiring my immediate attention. Please know that, despite my current feelings for The Mothership, I will miss what She used to be.
I will miss every one of you. I will miss my Mothership Family
PS. For those wondering why I kept the d*mn ticket. This is why: