Strength Pooh-Poohed

I love all things Disn.ey. Yes, I do admit it. Even though I know how the company mass-produces and over-commercializes everything … I do love Disn.ey.

So when Hubby, his cousins, and I all met at his uncle’s house near Orlando … there was no doubt in everyone’s mind that we’d be heading to Disn.eywo.rld. Specifically the Magic Kingdom … because I just HAD to go to the new Pirates of the Caribbean ride. After all, I also have a relatively healthy (?) obsession with Joh.nny De.pp. But as luck would have it, the ride had just closed for two weeks the day before we went. 🙁

Hubby & Me with Shayna
Notice all the red tshirts?

There’s something about the Magic Kingdom that just makes me feel like a little kid again. After all, the first time I had ever gone to Disn.eywo.rld was when I was six years old. And once we entered the park and looked up at Cinderella’s Castle, I was once again that six-year-old who just wanted to be a princess when she grew up.

This is a comment I made to Luna before Hubby & I left for Orlando. Luna and I both found out that we were going to be in Disn.eywo.rld for a short spell of time. And even though I really would have loved to meet her IRL, unfortunately that small window of opportunity proved to be too small. (One day, though I may just find a way to meet up with the fabulous Luna!)

That comment of just looking forward to being a kid again was in a response to Luna, who had mentioned that I was strong person to be excited to go to the kid-centric universe called Disn.ney. And I could see her point, as starting our own families and raising our own children has been, in part, a ginormous part our our lives. How was I going to survive being surrounded by hoards of families, with little ones in strollers and slightly larger ones (aka the 5-9 year-old range) holding on to the hands of their parents?

Well, for one thing … we found out rather quickly that the day we went was “Gay Day” at Disn.eywo.rld. Oh yes … a sea of red t-shirts with interesting sayings like “Slut Puppy” or “The Best Marine is a Submarine” surrounded us at every turn. My personal favorites were “Closets are for Clothes” and “Brokeback from Waaaay Back!” Let’s just say, it made the day twenty times more interesting! Not that they couldn’t have children of their own, but frankly we just didn’t see any young kids being pushed in strollers by them.

Honestly, I think I was doing pretty d*mn good. Hubby and I were having fun with our cousins, especially our one cousin’s 5-year old daughter, Shayna, who was just so excited to be there amongst all the Disn.ey characters. She had a special affinity to Belle … as did our other older, single male cousin which we teased him relentlessly about.

It wasn’t until I hit the “Many Adventures of Wi.nnie the Po.oh” ride that it hit me. And thank G*d that we didn’t get to that ride until later in the evening. Because quite honestly, the rest of the time I found myself struggling not to feel so unsettled.

This is me at 4 years old with my
Po.oh Bear and Classic Po.oh Dress

You see, along with all things Dis.ney … I especially love all things Po.oh, which started from the time I was very little. My favorite thing from childhood (which I still have) was my Po.oh Bear blanket. My bedroom, until the time I was 10, was decorated in Wi.nnie the Po.oh and his friends. My favorite storytime “record” (remember those?) was all about Po.oh. I loved Po.oh so much that back when Hubby & I were optimistic about having our own baby, we planned to decorate the nursery in all “Classic Pooh” items. And ten years ago, “Classic Po.oh” stuff was difficult to find. So any time we would find something that might fit in with our nursery theme we would try to pick it up.

Now we have all this “Classic Po.oh” stuff collected and yet, no nursery to decorate. Or fill. And in those ten years I’ve now seen at least three of my family members and friends have babies and provide them with all the “Classic Po.oh” stuff that I wish I could give my own child.

I managed to find ways to distract myself for the remaining time we were there, but there just seemed to be this miniature black cloud hanging over my head. And later on that night after getting back to our uncle’s house after 2 am … and after Hubby (who did all of the driving) crashed into bed, I stepped in the shower and silently mourned yet another wish unfulfilled.

And I realize now that I’m not strong as I thought I was.

0 Replies to “Strength Pooh-Poohed”

  1. Making it as far and long as you did means you’re pretty damn strong my friend.
    (And OMG that picture of you is too freaking cute.)

  2. I sooo know how you feel. How is it possible to be so strong one minute and then so weak the next.

    I’m glad you had fun for most of the day though! Sorry it had a sad ending though. I can only imagine the emotions seeing all that Pooh stuff brought forth.

    I hope the rest of your trip goes better though! I’ll be praying for you!

  3. Glad you got to Disney. It’s true when people like Disney they really LOOOOOVVVVE Disney. We were able to go to Disney for the first time in February this year. Sorry for your sad ending to the day.

  4. I’m glad you had a nice trip, and yes Emily…you are strong. After being lucky enough to meet you I know for a fact that you are a strong person, way stronger than me. But I’m sorry that sometimes those feeling just sneak in between the cracks of a happy day. Thank you for the good wishes and encouragment. I want to send some your way as well, I’ll be thinking of you!

  5. you are STRONGER than you think you are! so what if you needed a release at the end of the day? You still DID IT. You went into that kid-centric space, knowing full well that you would be surrounded by little ones of all shapes, sizes, and attitudes. NOT having them there was pure luck. But the idea that you went there, accepting that you’d be faced with all that is childhood wonder, and still went, because YOU wanted to. THAT, my friend, takes a whole lotta strength!

  6. We all have moments when we’re not so strong. But you’ve made it so far, so you do have the strength…it’s just not equally strong at all times.

    I was always a Pooh fan too. My decorated my dorm room with Pooh calendar pages (yes, I did have other more grown-up stuff too, but Pooh was definitely an important part of the decor).

    You’ve made it this far my friend! And you’ve done well. I hope you’ll be able to share your love for Pooh with your own child soon…

  7. Awww. . .sorry it hit you that way. Hang in there.

    I love Disney, too. Love, love, love it! We’ll both get there with our little ones, though. I’m convinced of it!

  8. Love the picture, love the pig-tails – absolutely darling. I LOVE the magic kingdom, we live about 45 miles away from Anaheim and I go whenever I get a chance – it really is the happiest place on earth.

    I’m sorry to hear about the painful moments but your strength is amazing and your emails you send me are always so uplifiting and sustain me. I hope I can send some good vibes back your way.

    If you are ever near Anaheim – let me know, I will gladly meet you at Disneyland 🙂

  9. Sorry about the Pooh stuff. I hope you’ll have that nursery to decorate soon. 🙁

    I love Disney but my sister hates it and won’t allow us to give her 7 mo old daughter anything related to Disney, so I’ll have to be a sly aunt! I am loving all the gay phrases on the shirts. That’s hilarious.

    (here from NCLM)

  10. You know what, though? You ARE strong. Just being able to get out of bed, function, carry on with life – that makes you strong.
    I’m sending you all the good vibes I’ve got! It’s hard since I just DIED from your 4 year old adorableness.

  11. What a beautiful little girl you were! SO CUTE WITH THOSE PIG TAILS!!

    The last couple lines you wrote brought tears to my eyes and made me sigh right out loud. I, too, have found the shower to be a place where I can mourn. Keep breathing, friend, keep breathing.

  12. great post and I LOVE those pix! sorry our window was so small. but so glad you had fun. and you absolutely ARE stronger than you think.

    the weather was gross. I was with my 4yr old niece and 1 yr old nephew so we did all things princess and pooh. and we had strollers and everything. I was able to steal away for a few mins to go on space mountain with my bro. I had a few of those moments myself, late at night as I was trying to sleep. just got back and haven’t written my post yet but soon…

  13. That is the most adorable picture of you as a little girl! How cute! I hope and pray that someday you get to decorate that nursery.

  14. Glad your trip went well but sorry it had a sad ending. Your picture is adorable. I had a lot of Pooh things too! NCLM

  15. Sorry about the pooh stuff- it must be difficult to see it all sitting around unused.
    However, I think ending up at Disneyworld on Gay Day was a stroke of luck! Lots of childfree people having fun- probably a good example for all us IF people.

  16. i love disney too. i wish i didn’t-but i can’t help it!
    it must be hard for you t be around the pooh stuff. it’s just one big fat reminder of what you don’t have.
    bugaboo strollers used to make me so upset. it’s jsut so symbolic.
    well, i am glad that you are having a good time in disney, and it FREAKIN SUCKS that you don’t have a nursery. ; (

  17. I’m sending you lots of hugs. I also LOVE Disney. I go to the park several times a year and have every Disney movie ever made. I really thought my movie collection would have come in handy by now. IF just stinks.

  18. Few things …

    #1 – gay day is hilarious. lol. I’d of loved to go that day.

    #2 – I just watched the pirates movies (i’m a little late) and I now have a healthy obsession

    #3 – Personally, I don’t like pooh. I don’t think others shouldn’t like him, I just don’t. Anywho, my friend did the nursery thing in pooh (I’m so sorry you haven’t been able to do your own nursery ~hugs~). So I was like “whatever” when she did everything in it. Then, her child grew out of it. And guess what she did? She did HER bedroom (master bedroom AND bathroom) in pooh. It’s like an adult nursery. Wall paper, rugs, toothbrush holders. Everything. And now, it’s all the more creepy to me.

    Not that I think you are creepy for liking pooh! Just the pooh-ness reminded me of my creepy friend. heh.

  19. NCLM here…

    You are strong. I can tell that just from reading this post. I don’t believe that wanting your wish to come true is a sign of weakness. And I hope it does come true.

  20. Via NaComLeavMo….
    Gay Day at Disney is hilarious, sometimes the stars just line up right for you, you were obviously meant to go that day!

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