It’s amazing what 60-plus degree weather in the middle of winter can do for the soul. And is it me? But does everything seem to run smoothly on a beautiful day like today? Like the trains, for instance. I left my place this morning at the same time I normally do. Walked the same distance to the train platform. Took the same train. Made the same trek from the station to my office building. But … it took fifteen minutes less than it normally does.
Maybe it was the added skip to my step. Maybe I was simply enjoying the walk outside in fresh air. Maybe it’s seeing quite a few different neighbors on my street coming out of hibernation for awhile. Either way, this little glimpse of warm weather has me excited to explore the rest of this city when the weather consistently stays warm.
Anyway, the typically 40 (or so) minute train ride into the downtown area affords me the time to do a quite a bit of reading on the way to and from work. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve managed to read all three books in the “Wicked” series by Gregory Macguire. (I’m telling you … the musical was awesome. But the book series is d*mn good … and quite a bit darker, too.) And now, I’m trying to finish “Confessions of a Shopaholic” by Sophie Kinsella before the movie comes out. And even though I fully expect the book to be much better than the movie, I want to see it because I just love Isla Fisher.
But getting back to the book … I have to admit that I’m laughing my butt off and simply cowering with fear. Laughing, because the main character gets into these situations that are so impossibly hilarious. Terrified, because some of those situations she gets herself in are because of irresponsible exploits on her part … things I may have done in the past (especially as it relates to “denying” my anger and sadness over infertility) and even now, in the present (a-hem, finances … just like the book). It’s also downright spooky how some of those irrational thought processes correlate with my own ludicrous conclusions. Overall though … I hope that the ending of the book doesn’t end up being a major disappointment. And that goes for the movie as well.
And while I continue to babble … where the bloody h*ll was Amer.ican I.dol when I was in high school and college? Maybe then I would have had enough fearlessness and gumption to audition for it. Not that I claim myself to be an excellent singer or musician … because I’m not. But music was definitely something that was a big part of my childhood life all the way up to college. And then I got into Nursing School … and music, along with writing was replaced with bedpans and clinical pathways.
Okay, so not necessarily strictly bedpans. But you get the point. While I take pride in being a Registered Nut — I mean, Nurse … (after all, I worked very hard to get where I am in my career today) this wasn’t what I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. Nah, ask me back in high school … and I would have told you that I wanted to go into journalism or some sort of non-science related career. Or h*ll … if I thought I was good enough, I would have tossed aside college and gone full fledge into the music scene. I mean, after all … I had such a stellar career as a sales associate at Music.Land. Ha! Bet that would have thrilled my parents …
In any case, even now I still don’t know what I really want to be when I grow up. I always thought that I’d have it figured out by now; with that stellar career still on the rise. Okay, so my current career right now is on the rise … but then I also imagined that I’d have at least two kids in grade school right now, too. In that scenario, I may still have been in the Nursing career, but really … hadn’t I gone into Nursing because I always thought it would give me a little more flexibility when it came to raising my children? Funny how things never turn out the way you think they will.
Regardless of what I’ve rambled on about these past few paragraphs, I must admit that despite everything that I have experienced in life … especially over the past 2.5 years … I don’t regret the choices I’ve made. (Okay, maybe certain actions. But definitely not choices.) Because then I wouldn’t be the stronger person I that am today.
And that takes a lot out of me just to say that little bit.
Whew … amazing what great weather and a change of scenery can do to one’s soul.