The Whole Nine Yards

Nine days ago, at approximately 7:30 pm that night, a pretty significant hole had formed in my heart. What had been there for the past 38 years of my life was the physical presence of my Dad on this world. And even though (by this time) we had been expecting his “last breath” for a couple of days, it still didn’t help the sudden onset of emptiness I felt in my chest.

I didn’t know what to expect … or how it would feel to lose someone so significant in my life. I didn’t know  that my emotions could swing from one spectrum to another in the blink of an eye. After all, how can I have gone from laughing hysterically about a particularly funny incident involving my Dad … to crying inconsolably about that hole in my heart.

Except now, after nine whole days of gathering with family and friends … of praying the traditional Filipino-Catholic Novena following the departure of a loved one … I can finally say that the hole in my heart has begun to fill. And it’s because of all those family members and friends that have come out in droves to celebrate my Dad’s life.

Although not quite to back to capacity, the emptiness that once occupied that hole is now filled with the memories I have of my Dad … of all those special Daddy-Daughter moments. I know that I can look back at those moments and feel my Dad’s presence enveloping me.

But more importantly, that hole is now filled with all the stories about my Dad that were shared with me these past two weeks. It’s been filled with the incredible support I’ve felt from old friends and even older friends … whether it was driving clear across the State just to spend 5 minutes crying with me minutes before the Funeral Mass. Or making an extra trip to Mickey Dee’s to pick up a sweet iced tea and iced latte for me and Hubby. Or even just being there to hug me; knowing that was exactly what I needed at that moment.

So thank you, all my family and friends … I hope you know how much every single kind word** you’ve said and every single kind gesture you’ve done has meant the world to me.


** Special thanks to my cousins … from both sides of my family. You’ve been my my saving grace during those dark, dark moments.

*** An extra-special thanks to my incredibly awesome husband. We joke about me having a thing for “The Rock” … but rest assured, you are my one and only Rock. You are my constant in the midst of chaos.

Unforgettable ... That's what you are to me.

15 Replies to “The Whole Nine Yards”

  1. I’m so sorry for the loss of your precious father Emily. It sounds like he was one in a million and I hope that the memories and stories continue to fill your heart for years to come. That picture of him holding you is absolutely adorable. He was one handsome man and you were as cute as a button as a baby. Hold onto that love Em and it will help carry you through. Hugs to you.

  2. I suspect that hole will never quite be filled — but am glad that the good memories & stories and the love of friends & family are keeping the emptiness at bay. Holding you & yours close in my thoughts & prayers, Emily.

  3. Em, it was so great to see you and your family even if it was under those circumstances. Your dad was such a fantastic and caring human being and I am so proud of the fact that he influenced a good portion of my childhood. I was even more blessed to be able to enjoy a round of golf with him every so often and see how that always brought him happiness. Take care and we’ll be talking soon!

  4. I’m so sorry. I pray that the many happy memories you shared with your dad will fill your heart with peace. I like to think that those I’ve lost are in a better place and that I will see them again.

  5. Oh Emily, I’m so very sorry for you loss. I loved seeing the pictures of your dad – he looked like such a happy, loving soul, and I can only imagine the hole he left behind in your hearts and lives. I’m so thankful you have so many friends and family to help fill ithem with sweet memories.

    Thinking of you…


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.