Author: Emily

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"Twee – R"

Last night was the end of an era. Well, at least for me anyway. And perhaps for the 16.2 million people who watched the last episode of “ER.” 

The Original Cast
The Original Cast

This show came out the year that I graduated from Nursing School and during that first fall season of me living in my own apartment. That same year was also the season premiere of “Friends” and the second season of both “Seinfeld” and “Mad About You.” For me, after having spent many Thursday nights in college at the bar, Thursdays on NBC in the fall of 1994 was the return of my “Must See TV” moments.

 “ER” came out at the perfect time for me. I was finally getting used to being on my own. I had probably just gotten off my intense orientation period as a new Registered Nurse at the hospital. Watching the show just brought out all the drama and excitement of what can go on during any given shift for me at work. While I didn’t work in an actual ER, working the afternoon shift on a post-surgical floor certainly did have that same quick environment. Not only were we getting all those patients back from the operating rooms for post-recovery care, but we were also getting those patients that came through the ER earlier in the day and now were finally assigned a hospital bed. And since we dealt with many of the chronically sick patients with gastrointestinal (GI) problems (Crohns, Ulcerative Colitis, and any garden-variety of patients with cancer of the GI tract) … the afternoon shift was the one responsible for providing them with their 24 hour caloric intake through their IV lines (otherwise known as Total Parental Nutrition). And trust me … those were a pain to “hang.”

Gorgeous George! And remember Se.an Ast.in's brother, Mac.kenzie?
Gorgeous George! And remember Se.an Ast.in's brother, Mac.kenzie?

So basically what I’m getting at is that watching “ER” resembled the chaos of what could happen when I was at work. And being 22 years old at that time, all that excitement was  … well, it was Pretty. D*mn. Exciting.

 And the “original cast.” Yeah, there was something about that group of characters that I fell in love with. It didn’t help that I already had a crush on Geo.rge Cloo.ney from his days on “The Facts of Life.” But Anth.ony Edwa.rds, Sher.ry Stri.ngfield, Er.iq Las.alle, Jul.ian.a Mar.guili.es, and No.ah Wy.lie … not only were they excellent actors, but the way they portrayed their characters was incredible.

I must admit the last 5 years I only caught a handful of episodes here and there. And that’s mostly because all, but No.ah from the original cast were long gone. However, this past season, I made an effort to try to watch all of them. That one episode where Dr. Greene “returns” as a flashback was awesome. And not only was Dr. Greene there, but Dr. Romano also made a guest experience. And we won’t even go into the Dr. Ross and Carol episode … I was just ecstatic that they all made the effort to come back for one last reprise of their roles.

Betcha you forgot about Anth.ony Edw.ards in this movie!
Betcha you forgot about Anth.ony Edw.ards in this movie!

In any case, I plopped myself down in the front of the TV last night at 7 pm CST to watch the retrospective. I forgot how groundbreaking the show was in terms of the way it was shot and the quick paced dialogue. I realize now that some of the other shows I’ve loved have since utilized those techniques. “Push.ing Dai.sies” has used the steady-cam shots in quite a few of their scenes. And of course “Gilm.ore Girls” had that razor sharp dialogue. While I know those two shows have nothing to do with medicine or health care … to this day, I just haven’t found a medical drama that combines those two elements like “ER” did. 

While watching the show last night, I sat in front of my MacBook and did another new favorite activity (besides FaceBook and blogging) … and that’s Twi.tter. Below is a few of those Twi.tter Tweets I posted last night …

  • Weird seeing Rory Gilmore as an intern at Cook County ER …
    .
  • Oh. Em. Gee. Just realized who that Med Student is … yep, Rachel Greene. WOW! ER has come full circle.
    . 
  • See? Was I right or was I right?! Brings a tear to my eye …
    . 
  • Love how Angela Bassett’s character is interviewing Mark Greene’s daughter. What a great way to tie their stories together …
    . 
  • Love it love it love it! Love how Carter is mentoring Mark’s daughter. Just like Mark did for Carter on his first day. Oh how I’ll miss ER.
    . 
  • I’ve been following ER since I first graduated from Nursing School … *gasp* FIFTEEN YEARS ago!
    . 
  • *RIGHT ON* Nurses ROCK!
    .
  • Sigh … Thanks for fifteen great years, ER. I’ve loved “growing up” professionally with you.

For those of you that don’t understand the concept of Twi.tter, it’s a way to quickly let a network of friends or “followers” know what you’re thinking or doing. It’s similar to what Fa.ceBooke.rs do when they update their status. But the catch is … in Twi.tter, you’re limited to only 140 characters.

I admit it was confusing for me as to why I’d want to do yet another computer-related social activity. However, once I got the hang of it … I was addicted! (It also doesn’t help that there’s an application on Fa.ceBoo.k” that automatically updates your status with whatever you posted on Twi.tter.)

260And really, what started out as a basic means to update people on what a person was up to (commonly known as “Tweets”) has now grown into a phenomenon. Because now … not only are individuals using it as a social medium, major companies and corporations are using it to get a “pulse” as to what their consumers are saying about them. After all, Twi.tter is essentially publicity for them, whether good or bad.

I could, or rather my Hubby could go into much more detail about what other uses there are for Twi.tter … but I *WILL* tell you what I’ve used it for. And that’s to use it as free “advertising” to direct people to my blog. Yay for higher blog subscriptions!

So there you have it. All you ever wanted to know about “Twee – R” and more. 

Tell me folks … do you Twi.tter, too?

And if you caught last night’s “ER” series finale … what did you think?

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Br.ide Of Fra.nkens.tein Removed

Quick post, as I’m surrounded by unorganized mess mixed with packing boxes back in Michigan.

Hubby officially “moves” to Chicago with me today, along with puppy-girl Kozzy. Yay! Home with finally be Home in Chicago. As sad as I am the Detroit is going through such hard economic times, especially with the housing markent, I’m actually quite relieved that this gives us time to do a “slow” move over to Chicago. If only we didn’t have to pay a mortgage plus rent, I’d be even more of a happy camper.

251This weekend should have been spent doing more packing and taxes (yeah, we’re procrastinators), however most of it was spent with family and friends. Saturday, we met with my parents for an early dinner (at Pizzapapalis, of all places! Hands down, the best deep dish pizza … next to the “original” Pizzeria Uno in Chicago … by the way). It was good to spend time with my parents … especially my Mom, before she flies out to the Philippines this morning. (More on Grandma later … )

For “second dinner” (a la “Hobbit”-style), we met with our good friend, J at our favorite burger joint. It’s been a ritual for us to meet there even when I was still in the D. I miss the excellent burgers … but I miss my friend, J more. I’m worried a bit about him … I think this move to Chicago for us is hitting him harder than both Hubby & I thought. But we’ve assured him (and ourselves, too) that we’d be back often enough to continue our late night ritual. If only we can find a burger just as good as Redcoat in Chicago. But more importantly, if only I could convince him to move to Chicago to be closer to us …

Last night we spent a quick couple of hours out to dinner with Hubby’s family. Again, nice to catch up with everyone. Great to talk to my SIL about how “wonderful” her psych rotation in Nursing school is going. (Ah … the memories!) And completely awesome to see my nephew again and to hold my beautiful niece once more. I do miss them. Tons

Oh, and as of yesterday afternoon … I am officially no longer the “Br.ide Of Fra.nkens.tein.” I no longer have the grey/silver streaks of hair at either side of my temples. That’s because finally … after six long months … I got my hair cut and dyed! Woo-hoo! And there’s another person I miss tremendously, too … my awesome hairstylist! She is that good … that I’d come back in to town just to have my hair done just by her.

And finally … a quick update on Lola. Grandma is not doing any better … she’s officially gone into a coma and her kidneys are failing. Everyone is thinking that she just might not pull through this time. Of course, she’s been known to fool us all in the past … so I’m not giving up hope for a miracle. But honestly, I think she’s waiting for all her children to come back “home” to be by her side before making her decision.

My Mom finally found the earliest flight out to the Philippines mid-Friday morning. Unfortunately, the normally two-layover / 14-hour flight has now turned into a three-layover / greater than 36-hour flight. It was the best she could do on short notice … and it still didn’t come cheap. The important thing is that she’ll be meeting her sister during one of these layovers and will share the same flight with her into Manila, Philippines. I hate knowing that she’s traveling all alone, especially during this emotionally difficult time.

This same Aunt of mine also has the medical DPA for my Grandma. Which means once she’s there, she will have to make that tough decision as to what to do next. What a huge responsibility for her, and I’m glad that my Mom … the one sibling probably with the most faith and spirituality … will be there with this Aunt. In any case, if you guys can continue to say prayers for my family … I’d very much appreciate it. All of your wonderful thoughts and sentiments have worked wonders thus far … and for that I am incredibly grateful.

252Well, so this short post turned out longer than I thought. But thought I’d shoot a “quick” one out before the rest of my day starts. It’ll be a busy one as I attempt to replace my lost MI driver’s license and do a little more shopping (cheaper here with the 6% sales tax, versus the 10+% in IL) before we head out of town again. But at least now this once-Bride of Frankenstein will be united with her Groom.

Again, thanks for all the warm thoughts and prayers for my family. Please please please … keep them coming!

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Lola

Lola, in Tagalog (the primary language in the Philippines), means Grandmother. Except being the Filipino-American that I am, I never called her that. I always called her Grandma.

Grandma, besides my parents and my brother, is the first person I can remember constantly being around me when I was a toddler. I have this image of her sleeping in my bedroom on my other twin bed next to me in my room. And I remember this purple-y floral embroidered luggage bag that she always had; and she constantly wore purple …. as it’s always been her favorite color.

Grandma turned 99 this February. And other than her vision and hearing, and the occasional memory lapses, she’s as sharp as a tack. Well, I should really say that those memory lapses have become more frequent … but geesh, at her age that’s still frickin’ amazing. The point being is that she can still recognize all her own children and her dozens of grandchildren scattered throughout the world.

The reason I’m bringing Grandma up right now is because she needs all the good prayers and positive vibes right now. I’ve just been told that she was admitted to the hospital in the Philippines on Wednesday night … and things aren’t looking too good.

My mom and all her siblings that live scattered throughout the U.S. are desperately trying to find a flight “back home.” Because they’re trying to travel to the Philippines together, they’re having a difficult time coordinating flights. That, and well the tickets are monstrously expensive.

I wish I could be there; be by my Grandma’s side to hold her hand. Be with my aunts and uncles and cousins to hug them and to be hugged by them. Mostly, I want to be with my Mom, who called me this morning in tears. Because my Mom, who is named after my Grandma, is feeling so lonely right now. Wanting desperately to catch the first flight out that she can. And yet, this morning … told me she’s not had the energy even to pack, because she’s just been waiting by the phone for any word of when she’ll be able to get her flight. And well … any other news of my Grandma as well.

My "Lola" and Mom, who was named after her, on my wedding day ...
My "Lola" and Mom, who was named after her, on my wedding day ...

It’s times like this that I wish I was closer to home. That I didn’t have such a new job with little to no time off to take. It’s times like this I truly miss my family.

Please please please … if anyone has it “good” with the Man Upstairs, please send a prayer or a thought up to him to look over my family, my Mom … and most of all, my Lola.

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Joy and Pain

I have this incredibly horrible habit of pulling myself away … of freezing up with this indescribable fear … when good news surrounds those I love.

248It’s not that I’m bitter about their happiness, or jealous of such good news. If anything, I am typically very excited for my friends and family. I’m absolutely overjoyed with their wonderful news.

But the thing is, it never seems … at least in my humble opinion … that I come off as sounding genuinely happy whenever I congratulate the receiver of such good news.

To me, it’s an awkwardness that I can only compare to expressing sympathy for the passing of a good friend’s aunt or uncle … I realize how important this family member was to my friend, however because I may have never physically met this family member … never really knew this person … I just can’t quite understand how much this death will have affected my good buddy.

Nevertheless, that clumsiness is socially acceptable. That feeling of ineptness is considered “normal” in most circles.

Whereas the ineptness I feel whenever whenever I attempt to express my happiness for my loved ones … Well, it’s as if I lack grace. Or elegance. It feels, although not purposefully, as if my smile never quite reach my eyes … as if the light bulb in my brain is permanently set on dim. It may appear to others that I am only “blithely” expressing my happiness for my loved ones, my friends. But that, I can tell you, is not the case.

In full disclosure, I do feel a bit of sadness. But this sadness is not directed at my loved ones. It is truly a sadness just for me … and is directed for myself alone.

I know I’m rambling incoherently here. And I know that despite the utter happiness I feel for my friends and my loved ones … I continue to have this emptiness in my chest (or in my uterus, as it may be).

I know, as Dr. SIL so eloquently stated, that another person’s biggest joy could very well coincide with my biggest grief. And I know this is the reason I find myself pulling away from those that I love during the happier moments in their lives.

I know all this. And logically, I also know that I’m allowed to feel such sadness for myself … to pull away during those snippets in time … all in order to move forward and away from my grief, and so I can remain strong in the face of my own personal demons.

Sunshine after the Rain
Sunshine after the Rain (notice how dark the clouds are in the side mirror)

But … it doesn’t stop me from continuing to feel the guilt. And this logic doesn’t stop me from feeling as if I’m such a horrible person for feeling the things that I do. Or that I’m downright being plain selfish by having such thoughts of sadness for myself, any myself alone.

And it certainly doesn’t help that society follows that same train of thought … that sadness in the midst of other people’s joy is neither polite nor socially acceptable.

That … that “social nonacceptance” is the basis for my irrational fear whenever good news is sprung in my direction. This is why I freeze.

Because quite frankly, I’m not sure if I should be honest with myself and allow myself to feel the way I do. Or if I should just “shut up” in order to remain socially acceptable.

Either way, it’s happiness mixed with a little angst. A bit of joy mixed with pain. A little sunshine with the rain.

And a whole lot of frustration and isolation (self-inflicted, of course) to boot.