Up In Smoke

I wish I could write something a little more profound and exciting. But the fact is, I can’t. After two days of being in the stepdown unit, Dad’s back in the ICU and on the respirator.

Kids, this is a great reason why smoking a pack per day for over 25 40 50 years is never a good thing.

I finally broke down and cried this morning. I think it’s been building up for the past week now. Pure exhaustion, plus frustration with feeling like no one (especially me) is doing enough to make my Dad better finally got the best of me. That, and once again seeing my Dad looking so small in his bed, attached to all sorts of IV’s and tubes.

I wish I could make all this go away.

And poof! That dream just went up in smoke.

9 Replies to “Up In Smoke”

  1. I’m so sorry, Emily. My grandpa was in the hospital recently and that helpless feeling is still fresh. You wish there was something you could do, and why isn’t everybody else doing MORE? Somebody DO something. I’m so sorry. You are all in my prayers.

  2. I remember after my dad’s bypass surgery thinking he looked so small in his hospital gown in his hospital bed with all sorts of things hooked up to him. It was weird to see him unable to care for himself when he’s such a strong man. I hope your dad recovers soon. I’m sorry you and your family have to go through this and be scared for him.

  3. Hey, hun…

    My thoughts go out to you and everyone. You know if you guys ever need anything, I’m just a phone call away (even if it’s just to get away from it for a while… I hear that Red Coat has theraputic properties)

  4. Oh Em —

    I am so sorry to hear your dad is back in the ICU.
    It’s awful feeling so helpless, but please don’t think that you’re not doing enough for your dad. Even though he’s on the vent, I know that he’s aware of how much you love him, and how much you are doing for him and your mom.

    You and your family are in my prayers.

  5. Emily,
    I am so sorry, Sometimes it seems like 2 steps back one step forward . Take care of yourself please! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Anytime you need to talk I am here.

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