It’s Hard To Be Brave

Now and then, Piglet can feel quite anxious. It’s hard to be brave when you’re a very small animal but sometimes being small makes him very useful – and when one’s useful, one forgets to be frightened.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Hubby & I spent it with both sides of our family in Detroit; lunch with my side and dinner with his side.

We played a little Wii Rock Band with Hubby’s cousin on Thanksgiving. We went to see HP7 (for the second time) with my cousins on Friday. And Saturday started off with a much-needed, looong-overdue couple’s massage followed by Christmas shopping and another trip to the movie theater in the evening for a movie date.

But then we came back to Chicago on Sunday. And as we opened our side door, we noticed our poor Rain sleeping with her head next to her water bowl. That was the first bad sign. The second one was that she wasn’t able to stand for more than a few seconds without wobbling and eventually tumbling onto her side.

So as soon as we could, we took her to the local Pet ER which confirmed what we already knew. And that was that our 20 year-old cat was actively dying. And hence, the reason for my previous post.

Then came Monday morning. I was already settling into grieving for the loss of our beloved furbaby and was finding it difficult to get up out of bed. I had planned for a day of reading up and “studying” for my next presentation for work.

Eventually I managed to drag myself into the shower when I heard our phone ring. In the midst of shampooing my hair, Hubby told me that my Mom had tried calling my cell phone. And later, when I called her back, she had told me that my Dad had fallen sometime in the middle of the night.

After much coercion from all ends of the spectrum, we had finally convinced my Dad to go to the ER to get checked out. After all, he’s been on blood-thinners since his heart surgery close to three years ago.

Amongst other things that happened since yesterday morning, I now find myself back in Detroit (as of yesterday evening), spending my time in the ICU keeping my Dad company.

I’ll be honest and say that I’m quite petrified; especially since my Dad hasn’t “woken” up since being brought to the ER. The prognosis is not good and I’m trying to brace myself for what might be the worse scenario. And on top of that, I’m trying desperately to be both realistic and brave … things that people have told me I am when it comes down to the wire.

Except I may look and act that way on the outside; but internally … I’m more emotional than realistic. And I’m definitely more scared than I am brave.

Please … please keep my Dad in your thoughts and prayers today. And please … please help me find the strength to get me through these days.

After all, I’ve already gone through one loss this week … I don’t know how I would survive another.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

Related Posts:

No More Rain

Mended Hearts

16 Replies to “It’s Hard To Be Brave”

  1. Em you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am praying for strength and bravery for you. Just take it one breath at a time. I pray that your dad wakes up and this becomes just another challenge. Hugs Emily.

  2. I will be thinking of you tonight. Having a parent be seriously ill is truly very hard. I can’t say it better than soapchick. It’s what I will pray for as well.

  3. Emily, this is just not fair for you. I will help you get through whatever happens…i promise. You are my favorite cousin and my heart is breaking for you. YOu are very strong but you do whatever you need to to deal with everything. I am here for you sweet Em!!!

  4. Oh my dear, I am so sorry to read this. I am holding you and your father and your beloved, at peace, furbaby in my thoughts and sending love across the sea to you.

  5. You and your family are in my prayers. Just remember that it is definitely ok to be scared. You don’t have to be brave right now. Right now, let your dad’s nurses be the brave ones: the ones that can give you that extra comfort you need to get through the day.

  6. Oh honey, I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been where you are (earlier this spring), and although by some miracle my dad managed to survive, things are still so very scary and stressful. I know he doesn’t have much time.

    It’s a terrible, awful thing to have to face, especially when you’re already heavy with cumulative grief. I’m so, so sorry. And I’m sorry about your sweet kitty too.

    I will of course say prayers for your dad, and for you. Sending much love across the ether.

  7. Oh Emily, I don’t know why these things always seem to happen in clusters. 🙁 I’ve been thinking of you & I hope things are improving. Many, many (((HUGS))) are being sent your way.

  8. So sorry to have been brought to your blog as you find yourself in such a difficult place. First I’m so incredibly sorry for the loss of Rain, it is evident that she was loved so much and blessed with an incredible family. Hoping that the love and memories you shared together bring you a small piece of comfort as you grieve this loss. Secondly, sending hope and prayers that your father recovers. Wishing you strength in the coming days and that you feel surrounded by love ((hugs))

    ~LFCA

  9. Hey there – Here from LFCA.. I’m sorry sorry to hear about your kitty and most definitely keeping your father in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

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