I know many of my IRL friends know this, but my given name is a variation of both of my Grandmothers’ names. My first name is my Dad’s mom, and my “first” middle name* is my Mom’s mom. Coincidentally it is also my Mom’s name, as she was named after her mom.
With that said, both my Mom and Grandmother’s name is a variation of the name Rose. And therefore, my official name on my birth certificate is listed as Emily Rose.
This middle name; the given name of my Grandma is something that bonds all the female cousins on my Mom’s side of the family. Every single one of us has some variation of the name “Rose” in our name. It’s something that I’ve always thought was wonderful to share … and at the same time, wonderful to feel such a strong connection to our Grandmother.
Why am I telling you this? It’s because tonight I received the dreaded news that I’ve been expecting for the past two and a half weeks.
Yes, tonight (or rather Friday morning in the Philippines), heaven received another angel. My Grandma Rose passed away.
While I’m happy that she is no longer suffering**, I can’t help but be incredibly sad. And while it’s been literally years since I’ve last seen her face-to-face, I am going to miss knowing she is here on this earth with me.
Because regardless of where she was in this world, I always seemed to sense her presence around me; guiding me like she did when I was a baby and then a toddler. Singing songs with me as I learned my alphabet other important things (after all, she was always the consummate teacher her entire life). Slipping me candy treats from her purse whenever Mom wasn’t looking.
I know she will be watching over me up their in the heavens. And I know that she will continue to guide me throughout my life. But it still doesn’t stop me from shedding these tears. And feeling as if my world is a little less joyful. At least for now.
I love you, Grandma and I will miss you. Please say hi to Grandpa for me … and to all our other family members who have gone ahead of me. I am happy that you are finally resting peacefully …
And THANK YOU to everyone out there who has said prayers for my family. I strongly believe that it was all of your thoughts and prayers that allowed me to “speak” to my Grandma last night (Thursday morning in the Philippines) for the very last time.
* Filipinos have a weird thing about names. With me, my parents wanted to name me after both grandmothers so they provided me with TWO middle names; my maternal grandmother’s name (Rose) and, as tradition dictates, my Mom’s maiden name.
** In my Grandma’s case, “suffering” refers to the fact that she most likely suffered a major stroke, leaving her with little ability to move … let alone communicate. And as my Grandma always had a fondness for words and conversation, I know that she was probably in extreme distress about not being able to talk.