Old Souls

Hubby & I have always said that we’re old souls; ones that have lived and loved before … and are currently in our next life together. It’s in the way we work hard in our careers; it’s the weight of responsibility that we feel for ourselves and for our parents and families. It’s been in our desire to have a biological child of our own.

My Favorite Disney Movie

In the same aspect, I like to think that we’re extremely young at heart; love to tease one another and love to be playful. We know (or rather Hubby knows) when we should let loose and relax.

The latter is probably the reason why we love to see movies. And specifically, the reason we absolutely love watching animated movies at an actual movie theater, rather than at home in front of our television. It reminds me of the times when my parents would take me to see movies when I was a kid.

I will never forget the day that the two of us saw Disney’s “Aladdin.” Hubby & I were still dating and in college. We had seen an evening show at a 1940’s theater in downtown Royal Oak; the theater packed with parents and their young charges. In the midst of the movie, when Aladdin backs out of freeing Genie because he feels the need to use his third wish on himself in order to keep Princess Jasmine … one lone child in the theater, in her loudest voice said, “Mommy, why doesn’t Aladdin just tell the truth?”

While the entire audience let out a collective, “Awwww …,” I can recall Future-Hubby squeezing my hand just a little tighter as we smiled at one another. And that was one of the first times I can recall thinking that Future-Hubby would make an excellent father.

Now, flash forward to early 2009. Hubby & I had been married for 13-plus years by this time and we’d been through the ringer with Infertility. We had gone to see a movie one evening and saw the trailer for the movie “Up.” Both of us knew that this was one of those animated films we’d want to see … regardless of whether our nephew (or any of our younger, school-aged cousins) wanted to come with us or not.

What Hubby & I didn’t expect, when “Up” came out last summer, was the infertility aspect of the movie. Well, okay … we did have a bit of a hint from reading other blog posts about the movie. But what I didn’t expect was how much it would affect  us; not just in the beginning scenes of the movie … but throughout the whole film, as Carl interacts with Russell.

It’s seeing that “old soul” in Carl open his heart up to a young boy that broke my heart. It’s knowing that Carl probably closed his heart to children after he saw how it hurt Ellie that they couldn’t have children. It’s seeing how much Carl loved Ellie and their life together; and how he’d do anything for Ellie … even after she passes away. It’s seeing what Carl does throughout the movie to protect Russell and make sure he’s okay.

It’s like seeing how Hubby, and his “old soul” would probably be in years to come, if (or when) I pass before he does. It’s knowing that, just like Ellie, I’d want Hubby to be happy and to know that my greatest adventure in life was with him.

Hubby turned the characters from “Up” into an Asian version of us …
BTW, like my new header?

I cried in the theater that day. And I cry now, even as I write it; because that is a fear that I have, growing old without anyone to take care of us except ourselves. And if, G*d forbid, one of us dies before the other … not knowing exactly how we’d be able to go on without the other.

But I suppose that since Hubby & I have already established that we’re currently on our next life together as a couple … it only makes sense that our next next life together will follow shortly after.

And that’s the only consolation I can even begin to fathom at this time.

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Related Links:

How Aladdin played into the theme of our Wedding

Another Disney-related post

8 Replies to “Old Souls”

  1. I cried all the way through ‘Up’ too. Any film about growing old / leaving people behind just makes me so incredibly sad. I do feel sad that I won’t leave behind a legacy / memories in the form of children. But if I can improve the lives of people and animals while I’m here, then I’m hoping that will be enough for me. Thanks again for putting into words some of what I’m feeling!

  2. Loved “Up” (absolutely bawled through the opening). Dh & I like going to the movies too & we’ve gone to lots of kiddie movies where we were the only people in the theatre who didn’t have a kid in tow. In fact, we want to go see “Toy Story 3” but decided to wait a week or two for the opening crowds to die down a little.

  3. I didn’t see Up, but I do love that theatre in Royal Oak you were talking about that you went to see Aladdin at. I’ll have to check out Up – better late than never huh? It’s funny – I think one of the things that stings about infertility is that you worry that you’re alone and will be alone. I worried before we had Brynn that I would be alone when we got older, now I worry if she’s an only child she’ll be alone. My fears and worries keep surfacing back to that worry of ALONE. I think you nailed it though at the end – it doesn’t matter if you have no kids, 1 or ten. It’s all of the people you surround yourself with throughout life that make you not feel alone. Whether you’re already on to your next life with the hubby or not…

    You are such a sweet and caring person, you won’t be alone. But regardless, this post made me go “Yes, that’s one of my worries.” I feel silly about it sometimes…but it’s nice to hear other people talk about the same thing. ((hugs)).

  4. I adore your new header and the Asianized Carl and Ellie! I usually don’t cry in movies, but that beginning sequence in Up turns me into a puddle every time. DH jokes around that we’re a lot like Carl and Ellie, even IF aside, because I’m so bossy and talkative while he’s quieter and a little grumpy.

    I also worry a little about DH being left alone if I go first, which is likely since he’s from a family of centenarians, and I’m not. I’ve already given him permission to marry a hot young thing to nurse him through his old age if I go. 🙂

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