Proud Pet Owner

There’s this high school in Chicago with an  incredibly large lawn right down at the end of our street. It kinda like the “old skool” schools that remind me of Rydell High from “Grease.”

Official Clubhouse for the DEC

In any case, the huge lawn of this school also serves as a dog park. It comes in pretty handy when we’ve gotta take our Kozzy-girl out for her “business.” But not so great when there’s a whole gaggle of other dogs out there as well.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, our Kozzy is not exactly the most socially adept dog. Both with strangers and with other dogs. With us, she’s the sweetest affable dog around … but with others, she’s such a nervous nelly; which in turn makes her aggressive. So yeah, she’s not exactly welcomed at the dog park.

In fact, Hubby & I have a name for the group of pets and their owners. We call them the DEC. Or the Doggy Exclusive Club. Of which Kozzy & her owners are not members.

But thanks to unyielding patience on both our parts and the help of tips from watching “The Dog Whisperer,” Kozzy has made a breakthrough tonight. That’s right, peeps; I think Kozzy actually made a doggy friend. And it happens to be this fluff-ball of a puppy that belongs to the family in the apartment building a few houses down. It’s a good thing this furball is the antithesis of Kozzy; he’s friendly and verrry non-aggressive. So much that Kozzy actually let him sniff her and let Kozzy sniff him … all without any growling or barking!

I KNOW! I was sooo amazed!

Of course, after that … I just had to test out the DEC. And, unfortunately … the amount of pets and pet owners at the park must have overwhelmed our Kozzy. Which, of course, resulted in Kozzy being overly anxious and overly aggressive. But … at least I managed to calm her down before heading back home.

Despite that little hiccup at the end, I am so proud of my Kozzy-girl. It’s taken awhile, but I think she’s finally adjusting to city life!

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And now for the Daily Lenten Special:

Good Deed Du jour: The first Wednesday of the month is typically “Free Inservice Day” at work. It’s where our Clinical Trainers arrange for some sort of vendor to come out and present on a healthcare-related topic. With that comes free Continuing Education Units (CEU) to keep up with our Nursing License and Certification for Case Manager. Oh, and lunch is usually provided as well. However, the amount of food that’s provided is usually waaay too much for me to eat in one setting … so I tend to either share it with someone or bring it home.

Today I decided to give the other half of my chicken pita sandwich and cookies to someone else who needed it. And that would be the homeless guy that happened to be sitting outside of the Borders Bookstore on Michigan Avenue. I’m sure this guy probably gets a lot of handouts throughout the day, but at least I know that I’ve given food to someone who could use it.

And here's my Kozzy-girl!!

Gratitude Du jour: Even though I already expressed gratitude for having Kozzy in our lives; today I am thankful for all the things that having to care for Kozzy has taught me. While patience is the number one thing that Kozzy has taught me, there’s another important lesson I’ve learned for her. Because of Kozzy, I’ve learned how my emotions and moods affect others. With humans, it’s not as blatantly obvious to see how an anxious or bad mood can affect other people around you.

With pets … dogs, in particular … they can pick up on emotions right away. If I’m happy and excited, then chances are Kozzy is the same. And when I’m angry or anxious … well, you bet that Kozzy starts exhibiting her anxiety. And because of this exercise, I’ve learned to be more conscious of how my disposition affects others. So thank you Kozzy, for that lesson.

Oh NUTS!!

Somedays work feels like Mr. Stay Puft

Proton Pack Day #2. Except today I was remotely putting out fires from home; which definitely had its challenges. But ask me if I minded doing it from home, and I’d tell you that I would find a way of putting up with the challenges in order to take advantage of this benefit. It’s just too bad that I’m limited to working from home only one day a month. Boo …

Anyway, because I worked from home today I did not have much opportunity to do any new Random Acts of Kindness. Instead, while taking my puppy-girl for an extended walk (after my work day was done), I once again spread some goodies for the Chicago wildlife. Well … the birds and squirrel variety, anyway — none of those “back alley” city wildlife.

Squirrels are funny creatures; more so, it seems, in the city. Hubby & I have had the conversation before about how squirrels in Chicago seem just a bit different than squirrels back in suburban Detroit. First of all, the colorings/markings on Chicago squirrels are remarkably greyish-brown; more of a hodge-podge of various squirrel colorings. And then there are those suburban Detroit squirrels, which tend to be either reaaallly brown or black.

Meet City Squirrel (Chicago)

And because I grew up in suburban Detroit in the decade following the 1967 Detroit Riot and during Coleman Young‘s five terms of Mayor (both circumstances that contributed to the massive segregation between city and suburbs, caucasian and non-caucasian), it’s a silly observation that Detroit squirrels should be so … well, black and white. Add to the fact that up until the last decade or so, it was rare to see a black squirrel past Eight Mile Road* … that’s irony at its best!

But regardless of ra- … I mean species , the big thing that we noticed about city squirrels and “country” squirrels*** is the personalities. Suburban squirrels (at least in all other areas of the Detroit area other than Ann Arbor) are rather timid. They are easily frightened by anything and everything. Whereas, their cousin, City Squirrel just loooves to come up to anyone or anything … especially my dog.

You know, the same dog that has anxiety issues? And totally gets nervous/aggressive when other pets are around? Yes, City Squirrel loves to antagonize her. (My poor Kozzy-girl … ) They love to stand in direct path of her and make clicking sounds in order to get her attention. And then they looove running away the minute Kozzy starts pulling on her leash and barking at them.

And this is Suburban Squirrel

Some days it’s absolutely hysterical. And then there are days, like today (as I tried to feed them), that it’s downright frustrating!

(Remind me again why I was trying to feed them? Oh yeah, for my daily Lenten *good* deed … NUTS!!)

As for what I’m thankful for today … I guess because we’re quite tight in the wallet lately, I’m grateful that I have food to put on our table and food to feed our pets. While City & Suburban Squirrel can probably scrounge off the land (they’re raised to do that) or fill their tummies with scraps given to them by suckers like me, at least I don’t have to go further than the closest grocery store to get mine. And how about all the other people I see in the streets of Chicago? The ones asking for spare change just to get food? The same ones that are grateful for any leftovers that other humans give to them? That just makes me even more thankful that we have what we have.

Okay … that’s it for the night. Think I’m going to crash now, so that I can be prepared to fight more fires tomorrow. <sigh>

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And finally, meet City Squirrel II (Detroit)

* Yes, that IS the road that is referenced in the famed Brian Grazer/Eminem** movie. This road in Detroit is literally (and figuratively) the dividing line between city and suburbs.

** Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon: I have a friend who actually went to HS/Middle school with Marshall … well, at least until he dropped out!

*** Remember City Mouse and Country Mouse? Meet their kissing cousin, Suburban Mouse! LOL!

Please Stay Another Day (Part Deuce)

I think it’s rather strange how, after writing my last post, Chicago has been raining off and on. This weekend is pretty much going to be the same of scattered showers. I’m thinking that perhaps Mother Naure took my little quote at the end of that post a little too literally.

The following post was meant as a continuation of my last one; following up on further emotions I’ve been experiencing lately. All because of PS’ story. And all because of the unconditional love my cat, Rain, has given me throughout the years …

So without further ado, I give you Part Deuce.

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Rain gets along with everyone and everything ...
Rain gets along with everyone and everything ...

I think about the eventual loss of Rain, sometimes in conjuction with my inability to have kids of my own.

Oh, I know that I place a lot of importance in my pets because they are, in essence, the children I will never(?) have. Even for those families with *actual* children and pets can understand how much these animals become part of your life. They are a source of unconditional love and happiness.

There are moments that I swear that my pets understand me; know me intuitively. It’s as if they have a direct line to my emotions. When I’m happy, they’re out and about trying to play with me. When I’m angry, they know to stay clear from my path. (Except my puppy-girl, Kozzy. Sometimes she’s a little … slow, but we love her to bits!)

And then there are the sad moments; particularly the moments that I’ve been in tears. Those are the moments where my pets seem to come out of the woodworks and surround me. Not all at once; as a mob of 2 cats and a dog would be quite a scene. No, they seem to come around, one by one, as if to make sure I’m never quite … alone.

Yami, obviously NOT ...
Yami, obviously NOT ...

The past few years, my pets have shown exactly how much they love me. Especially after all the events that had happened to throw my life off kilter. You know … the life that I thought I might have? The one in which I dreamed of the family that I would have had by now. The one in which there are still days or moments or news of pregnancies that I still, to this day, mourn the loss over.

Yes, these pets … my Rain, Kozzy and Yami … are, next to Hubby, another reason why every day I try to put one foot in front of the other. And it’s because, just like Hubby, they’ve seen the worst in me and they still love me unconditionally.

Kozzy still puts her nose right up to my face when I lay paralyzed on the couch. Rain still jumps onto the bed on those days when I can’t seem to get out of bed and plops herself to the side of me, pressing her entire body up against me. Yami still jumps onto my lap  and then settles in my arms whenever I sit on the couch staring off into space, burying her entire head up into the crook of my elbow. And they do that independently of any specific events and on their very own accord … all to, in my opinion, make certain that I’m alright. And that I’m not alone.

I know that my pets shower me with love and affection because they know that Hubby & I are there for them unconditionally. Oh, believe me … they piss us both off sometimes to the point where I literally wish I could send the dog to the imaginary dog house, or the cats into a corner where they’d know not to come out until it was safe. But I also think that with the love and affection we provide them, they just want to reciprocate the feelings in the best way that they can.

Kozzy doesn't mind the company ...
Kozzy doesn't mind the company ...

PS’s story (in the previous post) and the fact that Hubby & I are caring for a pet that is on the downward slope of her life, had stirred up some emotions over the past couple of weeks. And it’s those thoughts of exactly who is going to care for us when we’re older. And who will be providing us with assistance to get around.

I see it with my parents, as I’m now about 5 hours by car from them. I worry about how they are able to get to and from Doctor’s appointments and if they’re actually following up on their health. I worry about my Mom taking a tumble and injuring herself. I worry about my Dad with his heart and his weight and his kidneys. I worry that I’m not going to be able to be there at the moment they need me the most. *

Oh, I know realistically that it’s not always guaranteed that having kids will automatically mean that Hubby and I have someone that will take care of us in our older age as no one can predict the future. If Hubby & I did have kids, who’s to say that (God forbid) our child doesn’t pass away before us? Or that our imaginary child decides that he/she wants nothing to do with us? Or that we’d have a child that requires us to physically care for him/her 24/7?

I know it’s not worth it to place all my eggs in one basket, and to worry about things that I have no control over. But I do. Worry, that is. Not only because, quite frankly … at my age their are no real good quality eggs to place in any basket. But also because one of my biggest fears is that I’ll have outlived** everyone in my life, Hubby included … and be all alone when I die. That there will be no one — well at least no one who loved me unconditionally — by my side.

So it’s with this thought that I know (irregardless of whether we eventually have kids … I can still dream, after all) that I will always have some sort of pet in my life***. One who I will love unconditionally and who will love me unconditionally in return.

I guess this means that Hubby & I will need to find a “Retirement Home” that will be willing to let us keep our pets!

And there are days where Yami doesn't either ...
And there are days where Yami doesn't either ...

* It’s one of the biggest downsides of moving out of state, but my parents know that this was a move that I needed to do both physically and emotionally. And for that, I am grateful.

** Fat chance of this happening, as I can barely take care of my own health …

*** Except I might just take a little break from acquiring any other animals until I can get past the eventual hole that will be left in my heart when Rain finally goes away.

Rain, Don't Go Away (Part Un)

There’s this story about a dog and a cat that has resonated within me since hearing it for the first time. It’s a story told to us by an employee (possibly owner?) of the neighborhood pet store we discovered this past summer.

309Her story followed after ours; the one in which we found out that our 19 year old cat, Rain, was deaf. Yes, that’s right. Our senior citizen cat is deaf. But more on that pet story after this one.

The pet shop employee’s (I’ll call her PS for short) story began with her own experiences with a deaf pet. She had told us about her cat and dog who always displayed such a unique relationship their entire lives. Ever since they were both kitten and puppy, they had played together and snuggled together; stuck by each others’ sides.

PS had known, once they were both much older, that her dog had become deaf. And she knew this because he would never respond to her calls out to his name. And he would only obey her with non-verbal signs, rather than PS’s spoken commands. But despite this, he would always know whenever it was feeding time; always was right there the minute his bowl was set down for dinner.

There was a reason, PS speculated, that this dog knew it was dinner time. And this wasn’t because of his sense of smell. Rather it was because whenever the can opener would go off, PS noticed that her cat would suddenly start meowing loudly and (if she wasn’t already snuggling next to him) would rush over to where her dog was at, as if to wake him up. PS had witnessed, at various times, her cat nudge her best friend to get his attention … and then would watch as the two of them would enter the kitchen side-by-side, almost as if they were attached at the hip.

"Comical" Rain
"Comical" Rain

It wasn’t until weeks after her finally dog passed away that PS realized something was also wrong with her cat. She had thought, at first, that her cat stopped eating because she was so emotionally distraught about the loss of her best friend. But whenever PS put cat treats directly in front of her, she would gobble them up and immediately ask for more, as if she was starved. If picked up and placed directly in front of her food, this cat would also gobble up her food as if there was no tomorrow. But the thing is, PS ever picked up her up and set her down elsewhere in the house (whether it be the kitchen or any other room), this cat would immediately start meowing and wandering around in circles.

And that’s when PS realized that her cat was actually blind. It was also when she realized that all the years of her cat nudging her dog during dinner time was not only so that her deaf dog would know when supper was … it was also her dog’s way of leading her blind cat into the kitchen.

Rain, cuddling inside my jumper in the early '90's
Rain, cuddling inside my jumper in the early '90's

It took weeks of training, PS told us, but eventually the cat was retrained on how to get to and from her food bowl by memory whenever dinner time rolled around. Sadly though, this poor cat died within a year of her best friend.

I remember this story every time I snuggle with my cat, Rain. And I know that it’s only because I will be completely devastated when Rain finally passes away.

I don’t purposely mean to become so melancholy while remembering PS’s story. In reality, my Rain will be 20 years old next year, and despite her being deaf … she’s had quite an amazing life. One that includes finding her at approximately 6-wks old underneath Dr. Bro’s car in the midst of a late spring thunderstorm. There’s been moments of catching her at 1-yr old snuggling next to our family beagle, Muffin … who was always so gentle and kind enough to let her smack her around a bit. I remember the periods of adjustments she’s had to make when getting used to other “roommates” … whether it was Hubby moving in with us, or the variety of other pets we’ve collected since being married. And I remember one particularly difficult period of time, which included surgery to repair a broken leg. (All of which occured simutaneously during my one IVF cycle, btw …)

Sadly, we discovered Rain’s loss of hearing earlier this year. And it’s only because I had made the comment to Hubby one day that poor Rain developed the habit of yeowling* late at night whenever we had already gone to bed. I would complain about how loud it was and how I would have rather dealt with her late-night sudden bursts of energy** instead.

When Hubby mentioned this to a co-worker of his, she mentioned that her cat did the same thing before she found out from her vet that her cat was deaf. The vet had told her that cats do this when they start losing their hearing because cats apparently don’t like it when things are completely silent. So they start to meow loudly, hoping that they could hear something. Anything.

Rain with the family dog, Muffin
Rain with the family dog, Muffin

At first I refused to believe that her loud yeowling meant that Rain was going deaf. So I began to test her. Call her name while she was busy eating. Snap my fingers at her while she was asleep. Clap my hands loudly while she walked the opposite direction. All to try to get her attention. And all in vain. Because she had, indeed, lost her hearing.

While she no longer was afraid of big ole Kozzy bounding up to her (she couldn’t HEAR how loudly our dog would come prancing towards her), she began to startle a little more easily. And while she no longer does her late night excercising by running all around the apartment, she has begun to sleep more and more frequently.

And I know it’s all about Rain getting older. And that this is the natural “circle of life.” But it doesn’t stop me from feeling sad about what’s eventually going to come. That perhaps, I will be like PS’s cat in the story above … so reliant on all the comfort and happiness that Rain has given me all these years, that I’d feel lost without her.

Rain, Rain … Don’t go away
Stay with me another day

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* Yeowling = Howling and Meowing simutaneously

** I swear, there are nights where I thought that the cats had more than a “nip” of that Catnip …

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Read Part Deuce here