Author: Emily

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Lessons Learned

Lessons I’ve learned from posting daily for the past 64 days:

  1. It’s tougher than you think
  2. Like anything, you have to make time in your busy day to write.
  3. I can find inspiration in just about anything.
  4. There’s no such thing as writer’s block. It’s more “motivation” block.
  5. Because I can think of a ton of things I’d like to write, but sometimes don’t have the mental toughness or patience to fight through it.
  6. And really, it’s more the patience I have an issue with; since time seems to be limited lately.
  7. But if I had all the time in the world, I could probably do it 365 days a year.
  8. And if money wasn’t an issue, I’d do it for a living.
  9. One day, I’d love to write a book; probably fiction.
  10. But for now, I’ll settle with promising to write … not daily, but at least three or four times a week.

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Lessons I’ve learned from my Lenten promise:

  1. It’s tougher than you think.
  2. But not in the way I thought it would be tough.
  3. I found I was generally apt to do good deeds without thinking twice.
  4. And not take any “credit” for it.
  5. Because taking “credit” or having the “spotlight” for doing something nice is not something I’ve ever  felt comfortable with.
  6. So writing about something that would otherwise come natural to me seemed forced.
  7. As if I was “bragging” about myself.
  8. Which brings me back to that Eighth Grade version of me.
  9. But I love the concept about “paying it forward.”
  10. So next year, I think I’ll do the same thing … but just not write about it.

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Last one. Which feels good …

Good Deed of the Day: For lack of better words, I saved my manager’s butt today. In other words, I discovered something that, if went undiscovered would have caused a major upheaval in this new “project” we’d been working on. Not that I expect to receive any “credit” for it (see #7 above), I just feel good knowing that this little boo-boo has now been fixed.

Grateful Thought of the Day: Days off … especially since I’m off for the next couple days. Woo-hoo! This means I can spend some quality time with my niece and nephew while they’re in town! Of course, this also means that there will be tons of work for me when I return … <sigh>

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My New Life Eggsamined

Easter is another one of those holidays.

No, I don’t mean to belittle Catholicism; because I know that today is the most important Holy Day in the Catholic Faith. And, like Christmas, I do understand the “reason for the season.” I do realize that both are more than just holidays that brings out “fictional” characters (like a Bunny who “lays” eggs or a jolly rotund man dressed up in a red suit** ) that bring about candy and gifts.

What I mean to say is that Easter has become one of those holidays like Christmas and Mother’s/Father’s Day that, to an infertile couple, can be a difficult one. It’s a reminder of what we currently don’t have in our lives; the children who enjoy the wonderment of Easter and the joy that hopefully all parents have when they see the look in their kids eyes. It’s a reminder of all the new life that Springs brings into the world.

Perhaps some infertile couples go on to having children naturally or through other assistive measures. Others have braved the waters and opened their homes and hearts to adopt children. And then there are those that have taken the less explored road of living child-free.

While I can relate very much to those couples that are currently experiencing infertility; I find it more and more difficult to relate to those infertile couples that have crossed over to parenthood.

Please don’t get me wrong … I’m incredibly happy that those who have “survived” infertility have gone on to live their dreams of having a family. And I’m proud of the strength that they continue to have as they raise their children after all the struggles they went through to have them.

For those couples that have decided to live child-free, it wasn’t a decision that came lightly. It wasn’t something that came to us as if to say, “Well, we’ve already been living child-free; so why shake things up now?” And it’s certainly not a decision that we made based on selfishness.

Hubby & Me as Easter Eggs

No … it’s a decision that came after a long struggling road of peaks and valleys; of unnerving anxiety and unwanted stress. And when there was simply not enough energy, not enough finances; not enough miracles left from up above … the only option was to pick up the pieces of the already shattered dream and start a new life.

So perhaps this Easter; the first year that Hubby & I have officially decided to live child-free … it will be this Easter in which we celebrate the next phase in our marriage; we’ll begin our new life.

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Happy Easter to all of you out in Blogland! I hope that this Easter brings about a New Life in all of you. And now for the second to last Lenten Daily for the season.

Daily Good Deed: What better way to celebrate the arrival of my niece and nephew this evening by putting together a couple of Easter baskets? Nothing fancy, but a little something to let them know that they are loved by their Uncle & Auntie.

Daily Grateful Thought: We spent Easter afternoon with our friend T who invited us over to celebrate Easter with his mom and brother at his brother’s place in Evanston. Oh … and did I forget to tell you that T’s brother is a Jesuit priest?! Yes … we had an absolutely delightful time and am so grateful for such a wonderful Easter celebration. More importantly, I’m still so grateful for old friends.

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** Which, by the way …did you know that the North Magnetic Pole is currently located in Canada? Guess that means Santa Claus is Canadian.

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Plum Tuckered Out

Ugh. This is the third to the last post before I finish up my Lenten promise. And I must say that I’m struggling to find the energy to write something rather creative.

Maybe I’m just exhausted today. After all, Hubby & I spent most of the day doing some major Spring cleaning. Afterwards, we headed out to run some errands and then grab a bite to eat before heading home. And now, Hubby & I are chilling out in front of the TV watching all those shows we DVR’ed over the past week.

Yesterday I got my lab test results back from my doctor. Other than being slightly anemic, everything else was normal. Even my thyroid levels. So that means that I am a lazy a$$ person who would rather do nothing more than work and sleep. And other than taking some over-the-counter iron supplements, I was told that the combination of my low Hgb level and my lack of ability to stay asleep was the reason for my chronic fatigue.

To which I say “Hmmph!”

Okay, so it’s not that I don’t doubt my Doc. It’s more that after all the years of dealing with infertility and needing to be able to “read” my body that I know something’s just not right here. I know that this ongoing fatigue is more than just anxiety and stress. I know it’s more than just the fact that I find myself tired even when I wake up after what I felt was a good night’s sleep.

For awhile I thought it was seasonal affective disorder. And I even thought that it was that same depression I felt for so long during the worst part of my infertility journey. But because I’m still on the appropriate treatment regimen for that, I’m pretty sure that this is not the case.

So I decided to do the next best thing; go see a specialist. After a couple of recommendations from both friends and fellow coworkers, I have a few Endocrinologist names in which to make an appointment with. I figure it’s worth a shot to do a little more exploration …

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Getting down to the wire here …

Good Deed of the Day: Does spending a couple minutes talking to a strange guy at the grocery store count? Even if it was really him doing all the talking about how cool he liked my “Made In Detroit” jacket?

Grateful Thought of the Day: Does being asked for ID when purchasing alcohol at the grocery store count as something I should be thankful for? Especially when I left said ID in the car? I had to convince the cashier that Hubby & I were married and that it was him (Hubby, who was bagging our own groceries) that was buying it. Either way, the cashier made me feel young; even if it was just for a moment.

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Itchy & Scratchy

Day Three (and supposed last day) of beautiful Chicago weather. Not sure how high we hit today, but at the end of the work day I saw a sign that read 78 degrees.

AND, since tourists are out in full swing in Chi-town … riding home on Lakeshore Drive, I saw tons of people on the sandy beach of Lake Michigan. I even saw a couple bikinis out there! Which … I really hope they didn’t try to brave the lake water, because I’m sure it’s waaaay to cold!

But with great weather in the Spring comes one of the worse things of the year … and that’s those seasonal allergies. I knew they’d hit me one of these days when I noticed on Wednesday the trees beginning to bud. And today … yup, they hit me at full force.

Itchy eyes. Scratchy throat. Nonstop runny nose. Yep … gotta love allergies!

Despite it all, I wouldn’t trade the beautiful weather for anything. In fact, I’d rather OD on Benedryl before I’d spoil a great weather day!

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Busy day tomorrow; lots of cleaning abound. Must. Expose. Myself. To more. Allergens. (Oh joy!) But it’s all for a good cause … as this means that my niece and nephew will be heading into town Sunday evening!

So without any more ramblings … here’s my Lenten Dailies.

Daily Good Deed: On the bus ride from work to meet Hubby at the cafe on the opposite end of Michigan Avenue, I noticed a guy struggling to pull out money for the bus fare. So instead of making him dig for change, I took out my handy CTA Card and paid for his fare. Yeah, he was pretty grateful …

Daily Though of Gratitude: Visine for itchy eyes and Benedryl for all the other nasty allergy symptoms. At least I know I’ll be sleeping soundly tonite!!

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Spring Has Sprung

What another beautiful day in Chicago … and apparently we hit a record high 83 degrees in the city today.

Let me tell you, it was verrry difficult to want to stay focused at work today. Not only because I had been working on these reports; which were strictly data driven (and boring as h*ll) … but because I would have rather been outside enjoying that incredible weather.

Rest assured, I got outta Dodge as soon as possible and met Hubby down on Michigan Avenue. And apparently, the rest of those lucky students and families that get an Easter Break were on the Magnificent Mile as well. After an entire winter of stragler tourists, I forgot how nuts it could be once the weather turned nice.

Anyway, Hubby & I took advantage of the nice day and did a little exploring. We ended up in the Old Town neighborhood of Chicago and had a nice dinner at a small French Bistro. Then we walked next door to the pet store and oogled over cute puppies. Which of course had us missing our own menagerie of furbabies.

So we headed back home and decided to go for an extra long walk with our Kozzy-girl. All of us, dog included, need to lose that Midwestern Winter weight that we all put on these past few months.**

Our poor Kozzy … She was so excited to go for a walk. And even moreso when she realized we were walking much further than we normally do. Except … well, except then she realized that she had to walk that same amount back home. That’s when her pace slowed down considerably, her tail slunk down a little lower, and her tongue started hanging out of her mouth. And when we finally got back home, she lapped up all the water in a bowl in a manner of seconds.

Now … well, now she’s crashed on the rug right next to our couch, snoring. Loudly.

So. Adorable!!

The thing is, that I know today is just an April Fool’s joke. Because even though tomorrow is also supposed to be nice (three days in a row … woo-hoo!!) … the rest of the weekend is going to drop back down to the 50’s and be a bit rainy.

Well … must enjoy it while we can!

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I’m coming up on the last days of Lent. Can’t believe it’s almost the end …

Good Deed of the Day: I spent some time today with a co-worker who was disappointed in the outcome of a possible opportunity. Previously, we had talked about how things happen for a reason. And this discussion today; well, it was just a recap of that prior conversation. I hope it gave her some comfort.

Grateful Thought of the Day: I love warm weather … it puts a little spring to my step. I’m so thankful for days like today. It always makes me look forward to more days like today.

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** Seriously! I put on a skirt that I hadn’t worn since late October and … well, let’s just say it was a little snug. Grr …