Politics & Catholicism, Part One

Warning you now. If you don’t want to read about Politics & Catholicism, then click away and don’t bother reading Part Two, either!

.

.

.

.

Another chance to change your mind

.

.

.

.

Okay, don’t say that I didn’t warn you! 

.

.

.

.

Before writing this extremely long tirade regarding Politics & Catholicism, I truly debated if I should share this article, let alone go on a rant. As you can see, I ultimately did. 

This article was written by Jeannie Gaffigan, the wife of well-known comedian Jim Gaffigan. In this piece written for “America: The Jesuit Review,” Jeannie stated that — though she is firmly Catholic in her beliefs, and is most-definitely pro-life (as most Catholics are) — wrote that she will not be voting for Trump this election. She stated the impetus for writing this essay was the Twitter Storm that ensued after Jim, who has always been non-political in every single act he performed or interview he has done, had uncharacteristically tweeted a “profanity-laden rant against President Trump.” 

Personally, I don’t think the tweet was that bad; however, the responses he received (as well as on Jeannie’s own Twitter account) was full of vitriol & hate. And many of them  (continued to) spread misinformation. Several responses even turned to quoting Trump when he called his opponent as a “fake Catholic.”

Which, for someone who ordered law enforcement to deliver tear gas to peaceful protestors & the surrounding media personnel standing in his way just for a photo opportunity, Trump certainly didn’t display Christian-like behavior. Ironically, that photo op was to show the public that he is a good, God-fearing Christian. In actuality, his actions prior to this photo op (and even after the tear gas was delivered) proved that he is definitely NOT Christian. Seriously, he doesn’t even know how to hold the Bible properly!

But we’ll get to that in my next diatribe, as I suspect this post will end up being super long. Anyhoo …

After Jim’s tweet, close friends and families of theirs had privately came up to Jeannie to informed her that they didn’t like Trump either; in fact, they hate everything else that he stands for. However, they also suggested that as a “Real Catholic,” she should “hold [her] nose and vote for Trump if only because the Catholic faith dictates, above all, we must vote for the pro-life” candidate.” 

What I like the most about Jeannie’s article is she stated so eloquently those exact reasons that *I* won’t vote for Trump. Well, actually she quotes from Pope Francis’ message that he delivered to the US  as a result of the #BlackLivesMatter campaign, which went into overdrive following the death of George Floyd and other similar events (before and after) his death. 

Pope Francis said, “We cannot tolerate or turn a blind eye to racism and exclusion in any form and yet claim to defend the sacredness of every human life.”  

Jeannie then wrote that systemic racism in our our current culture has led to the economic and social inequality we’re currently experiencing — or rather, just now “noticing” — in our country.   And in the current state of affairs, it is virtually impossible to claim  that we (as Catholics) are truly practicing a “culture of life,” which protects the the sanctity of ALL life. Jeannie goes on to add that , “… we [as Catholics] have been complicit in a long history of de-valuing our fellow human beings based on the color of their skin or the way they came to this country.”

As someone who has had 12 years of Catholic education (and has also been label a “Fake Catholic”), this goes against everything I learned about humanity in school and during the thousands of homilies I’ve listened to in the course of my life thus far. And, although my Mom sees me as a “Lapsed Catholic,” I want her to know that all the money that my parents spent on my education did not go to waste. I have *always* turned to what I was fundamentally taught during my formative years. And I continue to practice these principles of Catholicism today; not only spiritually, but ethically as well.  

My actions are the result of practicing a lesson that I was taught during my formative years and is a moral principle for several different faiths: 

“Love one another; [and] just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”

(John 13:34

The Golden Rule, or as it is defined by theologians, the “Ethics of Reciprocity.“ It’s the first thing you are taught in Catholic school (and/or catechism classes). It’s the one act that is almost inherent for most Christians, and the rule that even any empathetic person that choose to be agnostic or an atheist. 

As someone who chose to be an RN, I am inherently drawn to treat everyone with empathy, of which I learned from that Golden Rule. It certainly is a lesson taught in Med School (“First, do no harm”) and Nursing School (via The Modern Nightingale Pledge that “Nursing is a ‘Missioner of Health … dedicated to the advancement of human welfare.’”)

How about Muslims?” you might ask. While not directly quoted in the Quran, Muslims also have the intrinsic belief that they “must think about how their actions affect others; to see the world in a whole new way – through the eyes of another.”   

The basic gist is: Be good to one another. 

Can you, as a Christian, think that Trump is following the Golden Rule? Jeannie Gaffigan certainly doesn’t think so, stating in her article that “Mr. Trump is only pro-Mr. Trump.” How can someone claiming to be Christian say that prisoners of war and soldiers who died defending our freedom are “losers” or “suckers” ?!? 

I could cite many (MANY) more examples of how pathologically narcissistic Mr. Trump is; but I won’t. Yet.

Any sane Christian would agree that Trump has broken all Ten Commandments AND has committed all of the seven of the Deadly Sins. I (obviously) subscribe to that thought. Wholeheartedly.  However, after much reflection and  prayers  (yes, Mom, I DO pray) I cannot vote for a person who is not sympathetic, let alone empathetic. Trump definitely does not think of others, except if it affected him personally. As a matter of fact, I believe he doesn’t even *think* about — let alone pray for —  those individuals & groups that do not subscribe to his beliefs. Truthfully (and stay with me here, my friends), Trump probably doesn’t know the Beatitudes, much less recognize that MANY Christians use this as a guide to *understand* and learn from those individuals / groups / religions whose thoughts don’t align with their own beliefs. 

As a refresher for my friends (and a lesson for those friends that are not familiar with the Beatitudes), here they are: 

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. 

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the land.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God. 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me.

Matthew 5:3-10

Forgive me if you find the following sentences insulting. Before you cast your ballot (stone?), I beg you you to See. The. Whole. Picture. Before deciding who should represent and lead the American People. Please DO NOT cast your vote simply because of the ONE platform on the current president’s stance – or rather “indifference” – regarding Roe v Wade. Think of the OTHER platforms that he promotes during his (COVID-19 ridden, non-mask wearing, anti-social distancing) rallies. 

Let me say this in another way. If you (Catholics & Christians) are planning on voting for Trump just because he agrees with only ONE of his many platforms he’s using to run his campaign;   or because who is “for” (better stated, “indifferent” about) Roe v Wade .. please please PLEASE remember those Beatitudes. Ask yourself if Trump plans on helping ALL the individuals named in the Beatitudes, as WELL as those unborn children who’s life you’re fighting to defend.  

Does that mean I’m pro-life? As a confirmed Catholic, that answer is tricky and it depends on the events & situations surrounding the woman & her loved ones. I think there are circumstances such as complications during pregnancy, as well as the lack of support & financial means to raise a child, are involved in making a decision. And I am aware that, even if it’s not directly stated in the Bible, the interpretation is that the woman should keep the child. 

But (and this is where I bring up empathy) think about it in the context of yourself, your sister, mother, aunt, daughter, grand-daughter: 

What if you were single or married to an abusive spouse? What about the safety of the the child once he/she is born? 

What if your sister is unable to financially afford even the basics for herself, let alone a child? 

What if your daughter’s pregnancy happened as a result of rape? Of incest? Of sex trafficking? 

What if your grand-daughter had a miscarriage in the late 2nd or 3rd trimester? Would you expect her to keep the lifeless child in her womb until she is able to deliver her stillborn baby? 

What if, in the desire to have children, your infertile daughter & son-in-law seeks other means to start their family and it doesn’t “take”? What if they didn’t have enough money to go through another round, using frozen eggs .. But they can’t anyway because they didn’t have enough frozen eggs to even try again? What if a year passes, and your daughter (now confused, hurt, and ashamed with still not having kids) receives a call to renew the “rent” to keep these eggs frozen — but didn’t have the thousands of dollars it takes to keep them frozen for another year? What if that couple had no other choice but to “give them up?” 

Yes, that last situation was true. And yes, it did happen to me. 

What about adoption, you may ask? Well, let me ask you to put your empathy hat on once again. What if your sister wants, yet knows she is unable, to keep the child (for various reasons as mentioned above)? What if your sister was given different CHOICES and ultimately decided to put the child up for adoption? As a woman who is infertile (well, menopausal TBH), I believe that this is *much harder* to do than the general public would think. 

If you *truly* believe that adoption will “solve everything,” then, once again, you should examine the whole picture. Ask your sister why she is / was leaning one way or the other. Understand the various reasons your sister is making (or already made) the decision she did. Seek to understand, rather than instruct your sister what she should do. 

Don’t tell your sister what YOU would do in her situation; rather, ask her what YOU can do for her. 

And support (and RESPECT) her decision, regardless of it goes against your belief. 

I can’t tell you what it would be like to give up a child (we couldn’t even have one if / when we tried, anyway 🙃😝😂) or even to end a viable pregnancy, but I imagine that person would continue to live her life with a ginormous gaping wound in her heart; knowing that her child or his / her spirit is out there somewhere. I imagine she will always have the feeling that a part of her is missing in her life and stay with her the rest of her days, even when she wanted to get / could get pregnant again. 

Can you see the resemblance in emotions for a woman that couldn’t have kids of her own? After over 15 years of infertility, I *still* have that gaping wound and hole in my heart (and can’t forget “good old Catholic guilt”) from our attempts to have biological children of our own. From losing those frozen eggs. 

So I can hear the question now: “Why didn’t you & your husband try to adopt?” As an infertile couple, we DID consider that alternative. Let me just tell you (from experience) that it isn’t EASY to “just adopt.” There are financial issues, privacy issues, and the overall feeling that you’re not “good enough” to be *approved* by the agency to be placed on a list; let alone  *chosen* by a woman. For those that sought to adopt, I’m simply in awe that they could open their hearts and home to accept a non-biological child. I’m absolutely thrilled that those adoptions were successful, and that they were able to start (or complete) their family in this method. 

In my case, I was overwhelmed by the thought of starting our family by adoption. My confidence had been shattered to pieces by years of doctors appointments (sometimes daily looky-see’s down there 😱). Simply stated, I couldn’t “just adopt” after years of failure and disappointment to have a biological child of our own. I was afraid that, even though we might have been chosen to be parents of that women’s child, the biological mother or father or other family members may change their mind and then take away the baby I had been wanting to raise since first go married. I had no power in our ability to have biological children let alone adopt, so at least I can direct the narrative of our situation and “Let God, let go.” 

Obviously, Hubby and I ultimately decided that if it was meant to be, then it would be. And since nothing came of it, we decided to be fur parents instead. After finally making the decision to remain child-free, I felt the entire weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. 

So after reading my own experience, ask me again if I’m pro-life or pro-choice. Ask me if I believe that each person is unique and that their life experiences lead them to make the decision they do / did. I know what I am, but I want you, as a reader, decide on where I stand — and where YOU stand — on this issue. 

Okay, as I knew this would be a long post, I will just leave off here and continue my rant in the following (long) post. 

Read Part 2 now. Or later. I have no problem if you decided to take a break, especially if you feel I’ve talked (written?) your ear (eyes?) off.

So Long and Soooo Long

WARNING

.
.
.

Extremely LONG Post

.
.
.

(Don’t say I didn’t warn you)

.
.
.

AN ESSAY FOR MY MOTHERSHIP FAMILY

I have always believed that certain elements in life have a purpose. When I found myself at odds with my personal beliefs in my previous position, I was unable to search for employment within the healthcare insurance business. I had signed a non-compete clause preventing me from finding employment at a competitor within a 50 mile radius of this particular company.

I had no idea what I would do next. I had worked as an RN Case Manager within the Healthcare Industry for more than 15 years. I had also been away from bedside nursing for close to 20 years. My only recourse (other than moving 50 miles away) was to look for Care Management positions in an office setting or return to the hospital setting.

When I saw a posting for Care Management positions at The Mothership as well as our oldest Legacy Sister, I knew I had to try for both. I felt good about the Legacy interview, but I was secretly hoping I would get a chance to interview at The Mothership.

After all, I had started my nursing career at this place some 25 years ago. I formed lifelong bonds with many of those that worked alongside me either at the bedside on the unit or as a Case Manager. They were my “family,” everyone throughout the Mothership knew or knew of each other. Despite the size at that time, going to work mostly felt as if I was going over to a friend’s house to work on a project.

The only reason I left was because I had the opportunity to work for Big Blue’s Younger Sister. It was a Monday thru Friday gig with no weekends or holidays or working odd hours. A welcomed relief from rotating days and afternoons and making sure that I worked at least 3 of the 6 holidays of the year.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived at The Mothership and the interviewer was the Case Manager (CM) I worked with as a staff nurse. In fact, I credit this person with steering me into a career in Case Management. I consider this person to be one of my Touchstones; showing up (even after I left the hospital) during those times I needed an ear to listen or a hug to tell me that things would be okay. Knowing that I was interviewing with her (now in a leadership position) was the moment I realized that the purpose for leaving my previous job was to return to the hospital setting.

It was like coming home that first week at Beaumont. Besides Touchstone, I ran into several members of my Mothership “family” who remained at the Mothership for all those years. I was happy that they remembered me; from the transporters that brought up our post-op patients to the unit. To those RN’s who worked side-by-side with me during some of the toughest days as a brand new (and even seasoned) nurse. I was even caught off guard when I ran into my former Nurse Manager (another Touchstone who had graduated from the floors to become a high-ranking RN at The Mothership). At first walked passed me, but stopped in her tracks, turned around, and called out my name, genuinely happy to see me back at The Mothership.

I also found out that many of the Case Managers I worked with during my first stint at the Mothership were still in the same department. In fact, when given the opportunity to choose my assigned unit, I chose the one where I knew two of the CMs in that office. Best. Decision. Ever.Seeing many familiar faces at The Mothership was a testament that these long-standing employees were valued and respected. Sure, there had been a few changes (holy huge new tower, Batman!) to The Mothership since I was last there; but overall, there was still that element of pride for working at an established well-known hospital. These employees were proud to say where they worked, because The Mothership only hired the best.

Flash forward to The Mothership today, seven years later. So much had changed in that amount of time, including Headquarters (HQ) attitude towards patient care and employee satisfaction. Within those 7 years, The System changed CEO’s and expanded their reach to the south-/south-western part of the Metro Area. Suddenly The System was obsessed with the merger; streamlining processes so that ALL Ships were doing the same thing.

The new CEO, though he tried to sound down-to-earth (Folks, anyone?), was somehow never visible at The Mothership. In fact I only recall him showing up at The Mothership ONCE for a Town Hall Meeting with the employees. I’m sure CEO – who, BTW is an accountant – had been to The Mothership several times, probably for other executive level meetings; however, in the 5 years that CEO has been with The System, I had never seen or met him in person.

This was a departure from past CEOs who made a point to sit with employees to take The System’s pulse, ask us how we felt and what we think should change. I just felt I couldn’t trust someone who didn’t make an effort to understand how The Mothership’s engine worked and how The Mothership remained afloat.That was the first inkling of concern I had about the direction of The System. CEO would “advertise” that he was “rounding” with multiple departments and units throughout The System. There would be videos of CEO at all the other Ships, but I had never (to this day) seen CEO do the same for The Mothership. While boasting about being transparent on his weekly email blasts, many of his decisions were made without the input of any of the “worker bee” employees. Many times The Mothership employees felt as if the wind had been knocked out of them, because changes that CEO helped implement were never clearly communicated. I quickly realized that CEO could talk the talk, but could never walk the walk. Or rather WANT to walk the walk.

What cemented my concern was two-fold. The first event was when they moved the entire Care Mgmt Dept from under Nursing’s umbrella to Finance’s umbrella. It was certainly a shift when we were used to having support from Nursing leaders. Now it felt that Finance didn’t understand (or care to realize) the importance having clinically experienced nurses and MSWs to assist in coordinating patient care during and after leaving in the hospital.

In fact The Mothership’s new CFO asked to shadow a CM to see what our day was like. I was apparently one of the CM’s who was chosen. Of course the day she sat down with me, there was none of the constant interruptions by multiple healthcare disciplines including outside vendors & insurance companies. There was no irate patient or family member who was insistent that they needed to remain in this step-down unit.

CFO lasted for less than 1.5 hours that day; often telling me that the “issues” we were experiencing were “normal” because she saw the same exact issues as the former CFO of another Out-of-State hospital. It was clear that this CFO had never spent time at the bedside; nor did CFO care to understand how many facets of Case Management there was.

CFO likely never had to explain to a patient or family member why he/she didn’t meet the “criteria” to go to Inpatient Rehab and therefore, his/her insurance wouldn’t pay for an IP Rehab stay. All while simultaneously encouraging family to choose from a list of Subacute Rehabs, which any lay person may see as a putting their loved one in a “Nursing Home.” (FYI, it’s not. There are multiple “levels” of care at any Nursing Facility.)

Better yet, I’m sure CFO had never had to participate in a Multidisciplinary Meeting with the family of a patient — who could no longer breathe on his/her own and was unable to communicate his/her wishes — to discuss goals of care for their loved one, even when every discipline & specialty consultants agreed that the current course of treatment was futile in nature. More often than none, these family meetings would turn into a WWE-like match; family members uncontrollably sobbing. Parents & Siblings screaming expletive words at one another or — better yet — throwing things at one another.

Sometimes just being in the vicinity, that flying object would veer off track and hit you instead. Sometimes meetings ended with a family member grabbing you and begging you to pull out my “magic bag” and “fix things.” Tell me that, while still trying to maintain professional composure, you wouldn’t feel some sort of responsibility to help that family … even if it is to assure them that we’ve exhausted all possibilities.

Instead what was often seen by CEO and CFO was the “number of days” (or “Length of Stay” in healthcare terms) that the patient had accumulated while in the hospital. Or the cost that The Mothership was incurring because of a complication that occurred during a patient’s hospital stay. In short, HQ and The Mothership had no experience in having those face-to-face conversations. They had never had to explain, in person, why the patient’s insurance won’t cover his / her IV antibiotic and was unable to find the right resources for any type of medication assistance. Or sat next to a patient to tell him / her that there were no other places that they can go (other than home) from the hospital because his insurance terminated, or the benefit wasn’t available. Or speak with families who insists they can no longer take care of their loved one at home but aren’t financially able to afford personal caregiver services or an apartment on an Assisted Living Campus.

The Mothership suddenly felt like a “fantasy football league.” It was all about statistics, what the “player” can bring to the table, and the resulting money they would save / make on this particular activity. Patients no longer were human in their eyes; instead, they became numbers & stats in the literal Game of Life. And us employees were just pawns (or “players”) in helping them achieve a championship title. Which would then result in vast improvements for their chances of success (aka the ability to increase The System’s revenue … or their pockets).

The second concern presented when they hired an “Interim” Director of Care Mgmt for The Mothership to “overhaul” the way that us “players” approached every single activity / responsibility assigned to our department.

Nicknamed Hurricane, she tore through The Mothership, many times treating us as second graders. The best description I could come up with was that she reminded me of Professor Dolores Umbridge in the HP series — she talks all sugary and sweet; all while demeaning you and relishing the power that she had been given.

Hurricane destroyed the Care Mgmt Dept’s confidence; often pushing activities that may work at the The System’s smaller Ships onto The Mothership, who had double (sometimes triple) the number of licensed beds. The Mothership was where the other Ships tended to transfer their complex patients. The Mothership had world-renown physicians in pretty much every specialty of care.

I don’t disagree that a hospital of this size can be difficult to “manage” and HQ often has to reel in departments where their activities may have pushed things too far. However, the one thing that had always (previously?) been true is that The Mothership was able to quickly adjust to the needs of the community, sometimes finding ways to achieve outcomes that would best serve the patient. Often times, The Mothership’s various departments would try their best and work *together* to achieve the desired results.

This didn’t matter to Hurricane. She forced her beliefs onto the Care Mgmt Dept, often threatening that we needed to “get on the bus” and get with the program. (Seriously. we were actually given a “ticket” to get on the damn bus.) If we didn’t then we should stay off “the bus” because there were other people “standing in line” willing to “get with all the changes.”

In other words, we were replaceable.

Hurricane stayed on until a new permanent Director of Care Mgmt was hired; she was to “mentor” this New Director (to “continue the work” that she had started). Unfortunately, our hopes of having someone that could understand the nuances of The Mothership while confidently, yet calmly assist us through change and adjust course as needed (as we had multiple times), were dashed. After our experience with Hurricane we were hoping that our New Director (ND) would advocate for our department.

ND often had a way of making decisions without thoroughly understanding what the results of her actions would be down the road. It didn’t help that ND was (like most of leadership after current CEO took the reins) came from outside The System. They often failed to get any input from other seasoned CM’s or Leadership on what has / hasn’t worked in the past. Once she made her decision, ND typically stood her ground; never acknowledging that her “change du jour” wasn’t achieving the outcome she wanted. As a result, she would try out another change (again without others’ input), which would result in yet another change in process. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

If Hurricane didn’t completely destroy our self-confidence, the snap-decisions that ND made certainly did. More than often, no one could remember what the “latest process” was for an activity. Everyone felt as if ND+Minions were trying break us; aiming to pit us against one another. CM’s felt as if the Auth Coordinators (we won’t even get into THAT role) and the MSWs were out to “get them,” and vice versa. ND in essence, silo’d each of our roles; shifting responsibilities to and fro, all while adding new non-essential tasks that didn’t require an RN or an MSW to perform. Hurricane and ND’s actions ultimately had their employees questioning all the smart, talented, dedicated, and hardworking employees were even marginally “good” at our job.

They turned those employees who used to be proud that they worked for The Mothership into employees who were embarrassed to say where they worked. This type of behavior ultimately resulted in the employees resenting both The Mothership and The System.

Between Hurricane and ND’s actions (or lack thereof), the Care Mgmt Dept has lost (at the very minimum) 20 or so highly experienced CM’s, MSW’s, Auth Coord’s, and clerical staff. Many of those who had years of experience working at The Mothership.

Our department was already stretched thin when COVID-19 hit. Rather than showing support for the frontline employees, The System’s CEO (an accountant; likely with no bedside experience), had already began to complain about the loss of revenue that would occur because of this pandemic. CEO talked about how canceled surgeries and cardiac procedures, which are the main bread & butter (for The Mothership, anyway) and the payroll for the Frontline workers would result a major net loss for The System.

Let that sink in: While the community-at-large was showing appreciation for us frontline workers, The System’s CEO was complaining about having to pay them.

Bravery at that time, apparently became a detriment to The System’s (already) Deep Pockets, which ultimately led to many positions being terminated or placed on furlough in the “April Sweeps.”

Unfortunately, The Mothership’s Care Mgmt Dept seemed to turn into a microcosmic version of HQ; of what was going on systemically at The System’s Executive Level. Just like the other employees throughout The Mothership (and likely throughout the other Ships), there was an overall feeling of oppression; of feeling that you weren’t allowed to make any decisions without leadership’s approval.

And if the Head Cheese acted in such a manner, then this allowed other leaders below CEO to act in the same way to their peers under them. And so forth and so on, until it reaches those frontline workers, who have no recourse but to remain silent.

The frustration most of us felt throughout The Mothership was *never* about appreciation. It was (and still is) about feeling respected and valued. Of what we could bring to the table. It was about The System voicing that they were being transparent and honest with all their activities when they really weren’t.

In the Mothership’s Care Mgmt Dept, this ultimately lead to the lack of trust in our department’s leadership. Often times, we felt as if there was Game of Thrones-type scheming behind our backs; leading us to feel as if our jobs were in peril.

As most of us (especially the RN’s) went into the healthcare industry to *help* our patients & family members during a time wrought with uncertainty, the tendency was to make sure that we were providing the best care possible while in the hospital. In short, we practice empathy; constantly working hard for our patients & families, often at the expense of our own family and personal lives.

Things get difficult when what Management deems that their “priority” is more important than what should be best for the patient. (I’ll let you decide what our priority is: Making sure The Mothership gets paid? Or making sure the patient is discharged safely? Hint: it’s all about the Benjamins.)

Never mind that some of these “priority” tasks do not require an RN or an MSW to complete. Yes, some of those tasks are driven by the government (IMM letters, anyone?) but it doesn’t require assigning an RN (who sometimes has the clinical knowledge that could sometimes rival a first-year resident) to perform them.

If ND+Minions could understand that taking these non-essential tasks off our plates will result in improvement in The System & The Mothership’s outcomes. By doing this, it would allow us to perform more value-added tasks in addition to addressing all activities that the CFO & ND deemed as priorities which would ultimately improve our “stats.”

Unfortunately, our current Administration (at both The System & The Mothership) are too short-sighted to realize that what they consider a priority now will only hurt them financially in the long run. Fast Cash followed by Free Fall.

Long-winded, I know … but these are the reasons why, despite absolutely *loving* what I do, I feel I can no longer work for The Mothership and The System. For those that know me, I’m extremely passionate about everything I do; especially with Care Management. Unfortunately, right now there is way too much on our plates that I feel that I’m unable to give the 100% I typically do. As it is, I am OCD enough where I need to make sure that things are done in the correct manner. To do that, I would find myself working 12 hours a day, but only get paid for 8 hours. Anything to help the patient and the healthcare team.

Quite frankly, going in to work (especially of late) had been a struggle. I often felt defeated by the end of the day because I couldn’t do the necessary tasks that were needed before I left. This had affected my confidence to the point that I felt I was always angry at what was going on … not only at The Mothership level, but The System level as well. I knew I needed to get out of that toxic environment (which instilled fear and mistrust in CEO, CFO, ND as well as among ourselves) not only for my own sanity, but my Dear Husband’s (DH) sanity as well.

It breaks my heart that I’m leaving my family once again. For the past 7 years I’ve had the pleasure of working with incredible nurses, physicians, APPs, Physical & Occupational therapists (PT/OT), and other ancillary healthcare staff. From the pharmacy & their techs to nutritional support dietitians. From the cashiers in the cafeteria & concourse (who pretty much know my breakfast order) to the environmental service staff that always pop their heads into our office to see if we need our trash emptied. (We always said ” No, thank you,” only in part because it was cathartic hearing the trash bags clank down the chute. It was like throwing out all the negative juju we experienced that day.)

The people who I will miss the most are those that have been in the trenches with me … The RNs (including their management team) that work bedside us on the Medical Purgatory – I mean Progressive Care Unit I was assigned to. The PT/OT staff who was always available to do a session for patients whose insurance required their notes to determine what the most appropriate level of rehab the insurance deems most appropriate for the patient. The Respiratory Therapists who put up with all my questions about Vent / BiPAP settings and trach sizes & types; especially because I’m constantly pestering them to perform home O2 evals.

I will miss the incredible Liaisons from all the different facilities, agencies, companies; especially my favorite LTACH girl (who gets things DONE) and the Home & Hospice agency who always reminds me that the tasks I perform do not “succ.” I will certainly miss those physicians / residents and APPs who were always ready & willing to be participating team players in coordinating post-discharge care needs.

Most of all, I will miss the ladies that have sat side-by-side pretty much every day; my office sisters. They have been a constant influence in my life and have gotten me through some pretty rough patches. I will also miss all the other CM’s, MSW’s, Docs, APPs, and staff RNs who knew that our office door was always (figuratively) open for those that needed a place to decompress, vent, or even swear or cry. They knew that what happened in office stayed in our office.

I will miss those Touchstones, old and new. I will miss my Mothership Touchstones I had as a staff nurse. I will miss the Touchstone who fueled my passion for Care Management.

In fact, I relish all of my Touchstones. Though we no longer work together, I appreciate the lessons my Manager at Younger Sister taught me when I decided to try my hand at leadership. The Number One lesson was the first lesson this Touchstone ever taught me; and I continue to carry this lesson today even if I’m no longer in a leadership role. This Touchstone taught me that the most important thing about being a good leader was not to mess with people’s time (both as it relates to time-off AND length of time of any interaction/task) & pay.

Though they may no longer be my boss, these Touchstones have provided me with the confidence I needed to remember; that I am ten times better than what I think I am.

Yesterday was my last day at The Mothership. On Monday I start a new position at The School. It had always been a dream for me to work at The School. When the opportunity came up, my confidence was so shaken that I didn’t think I would get the job. At the persistence (and blessings) from my office sisters, I went for it and was genuinely surprised when I was offered this position.

I believe that going though the past seven years has lead me to this new path in my career. Despite what HQ and the leaders at The Mothership have put me through, I believe that my stint here had *purpose.* You have all lifted me up at one time or another. You are the people that gave me my courage and confidence.

I am truly sorry to those I haven’t been able to see before I left. The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of activity and — in true Mothership fashion — my last day was fraught with issues requiring my immediate attention. Please know that, despite my current feelings for The Mothership, I will miss what She used to be.

I will miss every one of you. I will miss my Mothership Family

PS. For those wondering why I kept the d*mn ticket. This is why:

Twenty Four

Before the day passed, I want to tell you how much I love you. It’s been a roller coaster year for us, both physically and mentally. But one thing that hasn’t wavered is our love for each other.

Thank you for being my best friend and for allowing me to just be myself; for keeping me safe and protected during the most vulnerable times in our lives. For the strength you provide me when the going gets tough.

It’s been 24 years since we promised to love each other in sickness & health, in good times & bad. We’ve certainly kept that promise and I plan on doing so, to infinity & beyond 🚀💖 Happy 24th Anniversary, Hon! 💖

PS. You will always be my Carl 🧓🏼 to your Ellie 👵🏼 My Aladdin 🧞‍♂️🕌 to your Jasmine 👸🏻 … My Burrito Supreme 🌯 to your cape-wearing Taco Supreme 🌮

PPS. Dang … we still look good together, don’t we? 😂🤣

Image may contain: 2 people, including Medardo Derek Richard Maroto

Forever Young

♥♥♥

Well, it would have been our 30th year Class of 1990 High School Reunion this summer, but … well, 2020 has been a spectacular year

And then this gem came on to remind me that our class song will always mean that we will always be “Forever Young”

😊

Thank GOD it wasn’t the remix!

Image may contain: text that says 'LO AFட 10:16/ sxm 741 Radio R 33/ 1st Wave Forever Young Alphaville Rock Tun Sound Traffic & Weather Now'

No Sticker?

Today is Election Day for the Michigan Primary. And because it is a very important election, Dear Hubby (DH) and I made it a point to vote. In fact, we applied for our absentee ballots for the first time ever.

And that’s why I can say that I’ve already voted … and I have the pictures to prove it!

The downside of not voting in person? We did not receive our “I Voted” sticker 😒