Life … As I Know It

I’m sitting at a coffee house listening to one of the many playlists that Hubby has made from our digital library of music. It’s a chill mix; one I like to listen to when contemplating life.

It’s been a long time since Hubby & I just hung out at a coffee house, sipping warm lattes and surfing the web. For me, it provides the downtime I need in order to focus on writing something … anything.

Life. I might as well talk about what life has been for me lately. It seems it’s all about work during the weekdays; especially since I work about an average of 45-50 hours a week. By the time I get home on the weekdays, I’ve got little energy to do more than eat dinner and watch some TV with Hubby.

Weekends are different. I take my weekends seriously, in the fact that I like to relax and do things I like. Like sleep in. Read. Catch up on recorded TV shows. Go to the movies. I’m hoping to add writing back on that list, as I want to continue on with this blog.

I know I’m lucky to have the time to do these things on the weekend because most of my counterparts don’t have the same luxury. Facebook friends talk about how their weekends are filled with kid-related activities; things I know they’re proud of sharing (rightly so!).

However, after almost three years (has it been that long?!) of accepting a child-free life and speaking openly about it, I’ve now begun to hear the phrase “You’re so lucky” more often. As in, “You’re so lucky you don’t have kids to wake you up on weekends.” Or, “You’re so lucky that your lives don’t revolve around your kids’ schedules.”

I don’t know how to take that. On one hand, it’s true … all of it. Yet the other hand holds those small pieces of my broken heart that still mourns the fact that I don’t have any children.

Then I think, “Do they really feel that way? Or are they just saying that to make me feel better?” I once had someone told me that I look so much younger than I do because I don’t have kids. It’s statements like that, that have me doubting the sincerity of some people.

I know it shouldn’t matter; that I should just let the words roll off my shoulder. And for the most part, they do. It should … it’s been just about three years, right? It’s just once in a while I still feel those small bits of my heart that long to have children.

So that’s my life these days. Work during the weekdays. Play during the weekends. And every so often, contemplate what my life would be like if I did have kids.

End of the Year Wrap-up

Well, I must admit I haven’t done my best in writing on this blog for 2012. Hopefully that will change in the upcoming year.

Yesterday, Hubby & I met up for a late night dinner with one of our good friends. All of us talked about how 2013 was around the corner and how 2012 seemed to fly on by. There was so many things that we all wanted to do more of, but just didn’t have the time. For Hubby & our friend, it was drawing more. For me, it was writing more. So then and there, we made our New Year’s resolution to do the things we wanted to do more of. This, of course, is my lame attempt at trying to write again.

I guess I could start off by telling you what has happened in the last year.

In May, I started a new job that has me grounded in Detroit. No more traveling, no more working at home. While I sometimes miss the traveling part and the “work in my pajamas”-part, I know that being based in an office-setting is much better for my mental health. I realized I needed the constant connection with co-workers that you just don’t get when being an independent worker as I was in the previous position. At least I can say that I tried the “consultant” role and it just wasn’t for me … at least at this time in my life.

This new job is a challenging one. I’m back in a leadership role, this time as a manager of over 4 different areas. There are days that I feel that I’ve got my role down pat. Then there are the days where I feel I’ve lost my grip on reality. It’s at those times that I turn to Hubby to help ground me and keep me from flying off the deep end. He’s good to me like that.

In July, I turned 40 years old. As expected, nothing really changed overnight, except now I’m more acutely aware that I’m just not as spry as I used to be. My SIL (whose birthday is 4 days before mine) and I did celebrate our 40th by throwing ourselves a picnic. Lot’s of family and friends showed up, so it was a great time full of laughter and fun.

At the end of October, I traveled to New York to be a part of my cousin’s “Halloweekend” wedding. She had some pretty cool details that made the wedding goth-like. It also helped that the wedding wasn’t that far from the town of Sleepy Hollow! The highlight of the wedding for me was being able to spend time with my Mom’s side of the family. That, and spending time with my niece, Emilia, whose whole family made it to the wedding so that “Mia” could be a flower girl.

Getting out of New York actually proved to be quite exciting as well. Superstorm Sandy threatened to ruin the bride’s day, but it held off until the next night. However, that did cause a lot of flight cancellations, including ours. This meant we had to drive all the way back to Detroit in a rental car in order to make it to work the next day. Luckily, Delta refunded us our return trip, so we didn’t lose out on too much.

The rest of the year went by pretty fast; Thanksgiving, Dad’s anniversary, Christmas. Mom spent Christmas out in Dallas with Dr. Bro, Dr. SIL and Mia (jealous!). The weekend before Christmas, Bobby & I got to spend time with Dad’s side of the family, especially one of my cousins and her family from London, Ontario. It was a fun Saturday night full of playing with the kids, poker and beer pong with our Uncle.

Yes, you read that right. Beer pong with our Uncle. All I have to say is that, even though the girls lost against the guys … that was probably the most fun I’ve had in a long time! (But, boy did I pay for it the next day … )

And now it’s almost New Year’s Day. I can’t believe the year has gone by so quickly. As I said, my New Year’s resolution is to write more, and I’m hoping that the weekends give me enough time to write what I want to write. And not sound as lame as I do right now. Practice makes perfect, right?

Missing Dad

It’s been a busy week, otherwise I would have written much sooner. Especially since the 2nd anniversary of my Dad’s passing was this past Monday.

I would have thought that going through the first year anniversary would have made this year a little more bearable, but it turns out I was wrong. It was just as hard to get through the day this year as it was last year. What made it worse was that I had to work, which made concentrating on things a little difficult. (Reminder to self: Take next year’s anniversary off.)

I still miss my Dad. Every single day. But bring an anniversary into the mix and it makes it more emotional. I wish I could still hear his voice, his laughter. I wish I could still get those silly voice mails he used to leave on my phone. I wish I could talk sports with him and commiserate with him about the NHL lockout. I wish we could talk about the new James Bond movie and whether he liked it or not. I just wish he was still here with us.

But alas, he’s not. He’s up above watching us all and hopefully protecting us. And maybe — just maybe — he’s visiting his grand-daughter in Texas and making here laugh and smile as only my Dad could do.

I love you, Dad. And I miss you ever so much.

Thirty Days of Thanks, Day Thirty

Wow. I can’t believe it’s already the 30th day. While I might not have written the most eloquent of posts, at least I accomplished the task at hand … which was to try to write daily.

I forgot how I love to write and had honestly put things aside because I’ve been too busy. Well, I’m still busy but at least I’ve made the effort to set aside time to write. I just hope I can continue the trend of writing more, because I hate to disappear for long periods of time. I hate to lose the skill. (Not that I’m the best of writers, anyway … but you get the point.)

So on this last day, I am thankful for this exercise. Not only did it force me to write daily, but it forced me to look at what I have in my life and be grateful for what I have.

Thirty Days of Thanks, Day Twenty-Nine

Boy, it’s getting colder out there. And dark. I really don’t like this time of year because it’s dark when you go into work and dark when you leave. That’s why every year I look forward to the winter equinox … the longest night of the year. That just means that we’ve turned the corner and the nights will start to get shorter and the days longer.

Of course, that date (winter equinox) is December 21st, every year. Except this year it’s 2012. You know, December 21, 2012 … the end of the Mayan calendar and supposedly “the end of the world”?  <snigger snigger>

All this means is winter is definitely around the corner. Which means, at least in the northern half of the US, snow will soon be on the ground.

Not that I don’t like snow. It’s pretty to look at and to play in. But not exactly fun to clean off your car or shovel your driveway.

Working downtown, I do see a fair share of homeless people … and I always think of how hard winters must be on them. I’m sure their situations are hard all around, but throw cold weather into the mix? I’ve gotta believe that’s just one more added stress.

That’s why today I’m grateful for a roof over my head and the warmth that a house provides to us. I realize that we may not keep it as tidy as it should be, but it’s a place that Hubby & I can call our home.

 

Thirty Days of Thanks, Day Twenty-Eight

You know it’s Christmas when A Charlie Brown Christmas is on TV.

Today I’m doing a Snoopy “Happy Dance” and thinking about how I’m thankful for childhood memories of watching this TV special.

Thirty Days of Thanks, Day Twenty-Seven

Dinner. Redcoat Tavern. Clam chowder & Redcoat burger.

Yep, that’s what I’m thankful for today.

Thirty Days of Thanks, Day Twenty-Six

Well, I have to say … going back to work after a four-day weekend was tough. Lots of issues to trouble-shoot, lots of reports to go through. But as busy as it was, I’m grateful for the work. It definitely made my brain work harder… not to mention that it made the day go by faster!

So today I am thankful that I have a job.

Thirty Day of Thanks, Day Twenty-Five

I stayed up way too late last night. Which, in turn, had me waking up pretty late this morning.

Not that I did anything exciting but watch TV and do laundry last night. But that’s okay by me. I’m too old to be out past midnight these days.

In fact, that’s what I’m thankful for … being able to sleep in. I know that this is a luxury that most people don’t have.

Thirty Days of Thanks, Day Twenty-Four

Why can’t we have more four-day weekends? I can get a lot more things done if given four days off every week.

Of course, when I mean “get things done,” it really means “do fun things” like go to the movies. And start Christmas shopping. And knit.

Oh, and clear out the DVR which has been almost at max capacity for the past couple of weeks. Thank God for holiday breaks in TV programming.

But that’s not what I’m thankful for today. What I’m thankful for is the time spent with Hubby doing all these things this weekend.

Except the knitting part. Because he don’t knit. 🙂

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