Easter is this weekend. So yes, the Infertile in me has been mentally preparing myself for lots of cute kids dressed up in their Easter Sunday Best. And I’ve been bracing myself for all the shrieks and excitement that any kid would have on such a wondrously child-centric, “It’s Spring! And New Life (aka absolutely adorable newborn babes) is all around us!” holiday.
But this year, I have another reason to keep my emotions at bay. This year Easter happens to fall on my Dad’s birthday. He would have been 68 years old this Sunday.
I’m still debating whether or not celebrating both events on one day is good or bad. On one hand, going through these two “family celebrations” at once means one less day of “grieving” during that dreaded “first year” following the death of a loved one. It means one less day of running through what you normally would have done for that day if my Dad was still alive.
On the other hand, celebrating both events at once means that on Sunday I’ll have to remember double the memories of spending time with Dad on his birthday. Of taking him out to the steak house of his choice and letting him (literally) eat his heart out. And I’ll also have the memories of spending Easter with Dad and his side of the family; of family gatherings in which we generally eat and play games and generally take silly photos of each other.
Now throw in the fact that this side of the family has most recently had another reason to grieve … well, I’m just going to have to prep myself so that I’m not a complete emotional wreck.
Regardless of everything, I know that Easter Sunday/Dad’s Birthday will come whether I want it to or not. Truth be told, I’m hoping to spend some time with my Aunts and Uncle and my cousins. And I’m definitely looking forward to spending some time with Dr. Bro, who flies in this Saturday. I’m just going to have to guard myself against showing too much emotion; of traveling down the proverbial rabbit hole of grief.
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It will be a difficult Easter, filled with fond memories and sadness, but I’m hoping we’ll be able to laugh a little too. Dad was full of life and that’s how I like to think of him, laughing and teasing when we got together. And though it’s difficult with more recent loved ones passing, I do take comfort that Easter is about rebirth — for those gone and for those that also grieve for them.
know I am thinking of you this weekend!
love, inB
Ate Em!
Can you send me that family picture? I realized I don’t have that one 🙂