I Almost …

Hmm ... Didn't know storks needed parking spots
Hmm ... Didn't know storks needed parking spots

I almost ran over a pregnant woman today.

Really, I didn’t mean to … but her and her female fanfare (with her leading the way) were crossing the road at the most inappropriate spot at a local shopping plaza.

Being the decent (?!) person I am, I tried to pull down one of parking lanes to try to avoid the “preggo posse” … especially since I was right in the middle of a complicated and busy intersection. But alas, they decided to walk towards my car instead, as if trying to cut me off.

So I did what any other person would do, regardless of whether the person was pregnant or not. I sped up in order to clear the path. And just as I turned down the lane, I heard two of the posse scream, “Hey! We’re crossing!” Which was then shortly followed by “Can’t you see she’s pregnant?!”

I "expect" to be a Mom one day ... so can I park here?
I "expect" to be a Mom one day ... so can I park here?

Which, of course, I responded by giving the gang the universal sign for “F*ck Off.”

But what was really going through my mind was … “Exactly how many points would I get for running over a pregnant gal and her entire group?”

I am so going to H*ll …

11 Replies to “I Almost …”

  1. I am laughing my ass off here. I’m thinking that would have been a lot of points, plus bonus for her obnoxious friends. (Before I got to the end, I was thinking about points too!)

  2. i used to secretly think bad things about preggys too. hubbie would sau things like “yeah, she’s pregnant, but she had to sleep with *him* to get that way. hahahahahha. or, would make fun of thier walk or something. anything to keep from crying. you’re not goign to hell. or, if so, we’ll be there together.

  3. That was totally their fault…so don’t even feel a little bad. Pedestrians have right of way, but this is just too much, pregnant or not!

  4. I have never had to see one of those in person. I don’t like those signs AT ALL. Why can’t they get handicap spots if they are needing special parking? I get that at one point you might need it. Puke.

  5. OMG -i got nothing against pregnant people or spawning in general, but this totally cracked me up..uhm, so i guess i’ll be seeing you in hell πŸ™‚

  6. You crack me up.

    Since when is being pg a reason to Jwalk? πŸ˜‰
    If we ever saw one of those signs, DH would definitely park in it to spite someone. Glad they aren’t around here.

  7. Hehe! You are too too funny πŸ™‚ I give you full permission to run over annoying pregnant women – and their friends. There are just way too many of them here in Detroit, don’t you think? Even with being pregnant they annoy me. Is that strange? Hope you’re doing well sweetie!

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