I almost ran over a pregnant woman today.
Really, I didn’t mean to … but her and her female fanfare (with her leading the way) were crossing the road at the most inappropriate spot at a local shopping plaza.
Being the decent (?!) person I am, I tried to pull down one of parking lanes to try to avoid the “preggo posse” … especially since I was right in the middle of a complicated and busy intersection. But alas, they decided to walk towards my car instead, as if trying to cut me off.
So I did what any other person would do, regardless of whether the person was pregnant or not. I sped up in order to clear the path. And just as I turned down the lane, I heard two of the posse scream, “Hey! We’re crossing!” Which was then shortly followed by “Can’t you see she’s pregnant?!”
Which, of course, I responded by giving the gang the universal sign for “F*ck Off.”
But what was really going through my mind was … “Exactly how many points would I get for running over a pregnant gal and her entire group?”
I am so going to H*ll …