Family Bubble

Well … it’s been a week or so since I last posted or responded intelligently to the few blogs I had a chance to read over the past week. Trust me … it’s not for lack of wanting. Rather, I appear to be “paying” for that mini-vacation I took to Orlando. Like I mentioned in this previous post, the theory of having more work to do prior to and after returning from vacation is a definite.

Not only has work been a killer, but life after work has been pretty hectic too. Which, of course leaves little time to read, let alone comment on blogs or even write a post for me-self. But that ends today. On my scheduled day off from work. Well, at least for a couple hours anyway … just got done running around town and doing yardwork. And now I’ve got a couple hours before Hubby gets home from work.

How was our mini-vaca? In a word … FUN! Our goal was to create time to spend with our cousins outside of the usual weddings and funerals. We wanted to make it a bigger group of cousins, but timing allowed for the majority of the cousins to do it on that particular weekend this year. We’re hoping to start planning next year’s “reunion” by the end of this summer. Hopefully that will give the rest of the cousins … not to mention our parents … the time to set aside the date. Next year, we’re thinking lakefront cottages on the west coast of Michigan. If you’ve never been there, you’re missing out!

Did I mention we stayed at Hubby’s uncle’s house in the Orlando area? I say uncle, but really he’s only a couple years older than Hubby. And although there’s a bit of a “cultural difference” (a-hem … meaning he was born and raised in the Philippines while Hubby & I have been strongly influenced by the American cultures, as I’ve mentioned before in passing), Hubby & I get along great with him and his wife as we have some similar interests.

Hubby’s uncle and aunt (we’ll call them E and ML) met and married about two years after Hubby & I got married. Two years after that (in 2000), their son ME was born. And another two years after, their daughter, J joined their family. But because they lived in Florida, we did not get to see too much of them over the first half of this decade. It wasn’t until about late 2005 that we finally got to spend a little more time with their family, when they came up to Michigan for the kids’ first experience with a “White Christmas.” Hubby & promptly fell in love with ME and J. The two of them were so smart and so affectionate to us. While ME was quiet and shy, J was “Little Miss Personality.” Six months later, the family flew back up for SIL’s wedding. J was the flower girl and was loving every minute of it, while ME enjoyed his time with the other younger male cousin’s and with our nephew.

Prior to the Orlando trip, the last time we saw ME and J was for Hubby’s grandmother’s funeral in Virginia Beach. And while it was overall a somber occasion, we did get to spend some fun time with them as well as the rest of the cousins. (In fact, this is what spurred the cousins to try to get together in the first place!)

While playing a board game at this Virginia Beach gathering, I was amazed to see how incredibly smart and logical that ME and J were. Not that our other cousins and our nephew weren’t also being smart and strategic … it’s just that with these two cousins, they had this reasoning behind their actions that reminded me so much of how Hubby & I think. I was floored by that observation.

Also, during one of the more somber moments of that trip, I stumbled upon E and ML with their kids while they spent some private “family time” together. J was sitting on E’s lap while ML and ME sat on either side of them. They happened to be reading a story book together and I could sense the intense love and closeness that they all had for one another. It was as if they were in their own, impenetrable family “bubble” that no one could ever take away from them.

It was that image and the previously mentioned observation above that it suddenly hit me square in the chest. That ME and J were the living incarnate of what I always thought our children would be, if we ever were able to produce our own biological children.

I can’t remember if I told Hubby that comment back during that Virginia Beach trip or not … but I certainly did this time, after our Orlando trip. On the car ride home after arriving from the airport, I turned to Hubby and told him how I thought ME & J were who I always imagined that our kids would be like.

Hubby said nothing for a small spell and then said, “I know.” Those two words simutaneously filled my heart with absolute pure love and broke it into a million pieces.

That’s because we won’t be able to have a son like ME, who is shy and reserved just like Hubby. Who, as his parents claim, is such a big bookwork like Hubby & I both are. And who likes to draw comic books as much as Hubby loves to read and collect them.

Nor will we ever have a daughter who has such an infectious laugh with enough sass to light up all of Disn.eywo.rld, just like (according to my Mom, anyway) I was when I was around her age. Who, in her parents’ opinion, feels the need to include everyone in anything she does, much like Hubby & I do. And who loves to be out in the sun and at the beach as much (if not more) as I do.

Because, while I know there are different ways that Hubby & I can have that dream … have our own image of that “impenetrable family bubble” … the reality is … we are not going to be able to pass on those unique biological and genetic traits to our future children.

And that’s one H*LL of a big bubble to have had burst.

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And now, for your viewing pleasure … some pictures from our Orlando Vacation

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Flying the Coop

Well, we made it down to Orlando safely. And I’m so frickin’ glad to be here and on vacation. Even if it is only for five days! And it’s all because of the days (and weeks and, heck … who am I kidding? Months) leading up to today.

Yesterday was a particularly crazy day. First of all, I was expecting things to go relatively smoothly at work. After all, the previous two days were productive, but not overwhelmingly busy. What I should have known was that all hell would break loose the minute I walked into work. Besides spending half my day scheduling meetings and updating things for our work group projects, I still had to cover my own assignment as well as another co-worker’s assignment. So yeah … I didn’t get out of work until close to 9:00 pm. That’s a nice 13.5 hour day. D*mnit … why is it that you have to work your a$$ off in order to take some already-deserved time off?! Grrr …

And although I did the loads of laundry needed this past Monday during the 3OT game, I still didn’t even begin to start packing. So I started doing that, all while watching the (nail-biter of a) hockey game. But of course I got side-tracked, especially once the game was over and the celebration began. Yep, that went on until about 1:30 am. Oh, and did I mention our flight was at 7:15 in the morning? Which meant we should be leaving our house by 5 am?

Yeah, so we got little-to-no sleep last night. And didn’t exactly get a chance to sleep very comfortably on the plane ride down. So after waiting for another set of cousins (siblings) who were flying into Orlando around the same time we were, we picked up our rental car and the four of us headed down to Hubby’s uncle’s house. And then proceeded to literally crash.

So here we are, currently relaxing. Hubby’s downstairs watching the Celtics-Lakers game with his two male cousins (a third cousin and S.O. and his 5 yo daughter arrived later this evening) and I’m upstairs literally trying to cool down after taking a cold shower. Ack. At least there’s a ceiling fan in the room that’s currently on the highest setting.

And tomorrow, we’re planning to hit Univ.l Studios / Isl of Adve.nture for the day. And then perhaps Dis.neyw.orld on Saturday. At least that’s the plan. I think all six of us, quite frankly are already in vacation mode. In other words … I don’t wanna sit and worry about what we’re going to do next … let’s see what the day brings us!

Did I forget to say that I’m glad to be on vacation?!

Down for the Count …

But like the Bozo Punching bag, I still come up smiling.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments and words of encouragement that y’all have given me. I truly do feel the love out there. It literally made me shed a few tears … knowing that I’ve got some really good internet buddies and IRL buddies (soon to be bothcan’t wait!) that care as much as they do about my well-being.

Wednesday at work was extremely frustrating and … quite frankly … much too overwhelming to deal with. And after attending my weekly meeting for this work group, I decided to go home. Mentally, I could not even process what my tasks at hand were. What good am I if I can’t think?

So I wrapped up what I was currently working on prior to the meeting, shut down my computer and promptly told my supervisor that I wasn’t feeling so well and was heading home. And seriously, I wasn’t … I had this horrible headache (most likely Lupron-induced), my nose was stuffed (d*mn allergies) and I was actually feeling quite nauseated (most likely from just the negativity at work).

I slept away the rest of the afternoon. And boy, did I need that. Just the comfort of having my two kitties on either side of me as I lounged about was the best thing I could have done for myself. I totally needed to decompress.

So the next morning, I reinflated myself (but not necessarily my ego. I have self-esteem issues … can’t you tell?) and walked back into work with a smile on my face and my head held high.

Because seriously … whatever bad day / days I may have … however many times I get knocked down … I still have to somehow pick myself off the ground and come up smiling.

Thanks again for all your wonderfully warm wishes and sentiments. You. Guys. Rock.

So I'm A Little Late

Yep. Me, about a year after
passing the RN Boards

No … not that kind of “late.” I mean really … I’m on a medication that totally supresses my ability to become pregnant. So seriously people (or at least those non-IF people), don’t get excited.

But really, what I failed to do yesterday was to wish all those nurses out there a “Happy Nurses Day!”

Now, in the US they celebrate a whole week for Nurses. It always starts on May 6th and wraps up on May 12th, which is the birthday of Florence Nightingale. For those of you that don’t know, Flo is considered the “Mother of Modern Nursing,” and that’s why May 12th is recognized world-wide as Nurses Day.

The good thing for me about this day of recognition for my profession? It typically happens right around the festivities surrounding Mother’s Day. And it’s a great distraction (especially at work where I spend most of my time) for me, the infertile.

The bad thing about it? Well … it’s the same reason. Because, quite frankly … most people “forget” about Nurses Day and remember THAT day instead.

Even back then, I had to be caged

Oh no … I’m not bitter. Not bitter at all!

Of course, having a whole day … let alone a whole week here in the US … that recognizes the achievements and the TLC of nurses is more than many other professions have. I swear … Hubby keeps waiting for “National Graphic Designer / Art Director Week” to happen!