Category: Work

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Soul Writer

It’s amazing what 60-plus degree weather in the middle of winter can do for the soul. And is it me? But does everything seem to run smoothly on a beautiful day like today? Like the trains, for instance. I left my place this morning at the same time I normally do. Walked the same distance to the train platform. Took the same train. Made the same trek from the station to my office building. But … it took fifteen minutes less than it normally does.

Maybe it was the added skip to my step. Maybe I was simply enjoying the walk outside in fresh air. Maybe it’s seeing quite a few different neighbors on my street coming out of hibernation for awhile. Either way, this little glimpse of warm weather has me excited to explore the rest of this city when the weather consistently stays warm.

Anyway, the typically 40 (or so) minute train ride into the downtown area affords me the time to do a quite a bit of reading on the way to and from work. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve managed to read all three books in the “Wicked” series by Gregory Macguire. (I’m telling you … the musical was awesome. But the book series is d*mn good … and quite a bit darker, too.) And now, I’m trying to finish “Confessions of a Shopaholic” by Sophie Kinsella before the movie comes out. And even though I fully expect the book to be much better than the movie, I want to see it because I just love Isla Fisher.

But getting back to the book … I have to admit that I’m laughing my butt off and simply cowering with fear. Laughing, because the main character gets into these situations that are so impossibly hilarious. Terrified, because some of those situations she gets herself in are because of irresponsible exploits on her part … things I may have done in the past (especially as it relates to “denying” my anger and sadness over infertility) and even now, in the present (a-hem, finances … just like the book). It’s also downright spooky how some of those irrational thought processes correlate with my own ludicrous conclusions. Overall though … I hope that the ending of the book doesn’t end up being a major disappointment. And that goes for the movie as well.

And while I continue to babble … where the bloody h*ll was Amer.ican I.dol when I was in high school and college? Maybe then I would have had enough fearlessness and gumption to audition for it. Not that I claim myself to be an excellent singer or musician … because I’m not. But music was definitely something that was a big part of my childhood life all the way up to college. And then I got into Nursing School … and music, along with writing was replaced with bedpans and clinical pathways.

Okay, so not necessarily strictly bedpans. But you get the point. While I take pride in being a Registered Nut — I mean, Nurse … (after all, I worked very hard to get where I am in my career today) this wasn’t what I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. Nah, ask me back in high school … and I would have told you that I wanted to go into journalism or some sort of non-science related career. Or h*ll … if I thought I was good enough, I would have tossed aside college and gone full fledge into the music scene. I mean, after all … I had such a stellar career as a sales associate at Music.Land. Ha! Bet that would have thrilled my parents …

In any case, even now I still don’t know what I really want to be when I grow up. I always thought that I’d have it figured out by now; with that stellar career still on the rise. Okay, so my current career right now is on the rise … but then I also imagined that I’d have at least two kids in grade school right now, too. In that scenario, I may still have been in the Nursing career, but really … hadn’t I gone into Nursing because I always thought it would give me a little more flexibility when it came to raising my children? Funny how things never turn out the way you think they will.

Regardless of what I’ve rambled on about these past few paragraphs, I must admit that despite everything that I have experienced in life … especially over the past 2.5 years … I don’t regret the choices I’ve made. (Okay, maybe certain actions. But definitely not choices.) Because then I wouldn’t be the stronger person I that am today.

And that takes a lot out of me just to say that little bit.

Whew … amazing what great weather and a change of scenery can do to one’s soul.

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Calling 911 …

… is the easiest way to meet Firefighters and EMTs at CVS. Oh, and it’s a great way to get recommendations for a new primary doctor, too.

So yesterday my day started off riding the train to work. No different than any other day these past weeks, but that morning I happened to have certain personal health issues on my mind. Like the fact I had been feeling like crap over the past few days; nauseated, hungry but no will to eat, vertigo.

I had left work early on Tuesday because of those same symptoms, all while people around me asked if perhaps I was “with child.” A matter I scoffed at, and then had to remind myself that I was around a new group of people. People of who didn’t know my struggles with IF over the past decade or so. And just to clear it up right away, for those that might be wondering … No, I’m not pregnant.

Anyhoo … When I got back to my place on Tuesday morning, I promptly plopped myself in front of the TV just long enough to watch history being made and then headed off to bed. Where I slept for five hours straight. Then I woke up, munched on something that might be considered dinner and promptly climbed back into bed for the rest of the night. My goal was to get up the next morning and make it to work, even if it killed me.

Which brings us back to yesterday morning on the train. As I struggled to keep my thoughts together (and my surroundings from feeling as if it was swirling around me … vertigo sucks!), I happened to look up at the ads directly across the aisle from where I sat. And there was a sign up above that advertised a local hospital system in the area. Yes, I remember thinking to myself, I really do need to start looking for a primary doctor. After all, I do have quite a medical history. Plus, this feeling sick is for the birds. And hmm … I wonder if this hospital system has some good docs in the area?

Despite the haziness in my brain, I made it to work safely and through half of the day. Until the nausea associated with the spinning room became too unbearable. An inner ear infection, I thought It was then that I decided I should probably go to an urgent care center of some sorts. But where? I’m too new to the area … oh, and by the way I have no car, so if I did go to one, it’d have to be close to one of the train lines. Then a co-worker suggested MinuteClinic over at CVS. You know, the Nurse Practitioner (NP)-run clinic that can diagnose and treat simple health-related issues like minor scrapes and bruises, upper-respiratory infections and … oh, I don’t know … ear infections! So I located the one closest to my place and close to one of the train lines, Google-Mapped directions* and headed out the door. All after emailing my staff and cc’ing leadership that I should be back the next day. Famous last words.

So I stumbled over to the CVS, signed in and was promptly seen by the NP. I told her my simple story (which, remember this … because I tell it over and over again); that I’ve been having dizziness and nausea for the past 3 days. I thought it was a simple flu bug, but since it was still lingering I thought it might have been an ear infection. After all, I’m prone to developing ear infections. And since I was new to the area and didn’t have a primary doctor yet, I thought I’d just get checked out at the MinuteClinic.

Then the NP looked at me with one of those sideways glances; asking me how many ear infections I’ve had over the past year. This would be #4 since the previous January. Then she tsk-tsk’d me. “I don’t think I can treat you here,” she said, clearly referring to her handy MinuteClinic manual. “I think we should send you to an urgent care center.”

Again, I calmly explained that I’m new here, I didn’t know where to go, I had no car. Oh, and 4 ear infections is a small number from the previous amounts I’ve had over the past few years. And in the mean time, I started to feel anxious. I thought to myself, “WTF? This has now been well over a d*mn minute, and all I want are my antibiotics!”

“Please don’t send me to the ER or Urgent Care,” I told her as I began to feel more and more anxious. “I don’t have anyone here to take me. My husband is more than four hours away and I’m new to the area.” (Cue tears now.) It seriously didn’t help that I felt like crap and I’ve been known to get over-emotional when I can’t think straight.

Without going into further detail, let’s just say that shortly after the waterworks began the NP decided at that moment to slap a blood pressure (BP) cuff on me. And because by then I’d been at the verge of hyperventilating from all the anxiety … let’s just say I broke the 2o0 mark with my Systolic and the 120 mark on the diastolic. Then the NP really freaked out, which in turn freaked me out even more. And when my BP didn’t go down after 1o minutes? Yep, that’s when she made the call to 911.

Okay, so the nurse in me knew that this was the only course of action to take. Especially for someone why was experiencing hypertensive urgency symptoms. But that didn’t stop me from just about begging the NP to let me find my own way to an urgent care center or an ER. “If I can just get back home,” I told her, “I’ll call my nearest family member (an aunt and cousins from my side, a cousin from Hubby’s side) to come pick me up.” But alas, the NP was smart enough not to listen to me … I mean seriously, what if I passed out on the train on the way back to my place? Or worse, what if I passed out alone at home without anyone knowing? So yes … the nurse in me knew, despite the supreme embarrassment of having the NP and the subsequent EMTs (from this fine city’s fire department) know that I’m an RN that can’t even take care of herself. That I had to be escorted to an ER to get checked out.

But … at least I managed to get cute firemen and EMTs to come to the CVS and literally pick me up. And even though I rolled out of the store, wrapped up in a silly blanket … they all had me cracking up as they insisted I do the “queen wave.”

I was subsequently taken to the nearest ER … with all the bells and whistles of the ambulance, to boot … where I spent the next few hours being looked over and treated by some wonderful doctors** and nurses. My lab studies were okay, which meant I didn’t develop any kidney (or other organ) damage from such high BP readings. And eventually my systolic BP came down to under 200 after having received some anti-hypertensive drugs through my IV.

It turns out that I was experiencing side effects from abruptly stopping a particular medication. A drug that I had stopped taking three days ago because I couldn’t afford to refill the prescription. Because the stupid frickin’ frackin’ Employee Services Department at my former employer (who happened to be a Health Insurance Company) decided to terminate my medical benefits … which, for an RN who has been working for them and helping their customers weed through the system to understand what can and can’t be covered … really pissed me off. And the thing is, I knew I had health insurance to the end of this month because I researched this before I left. And I knew that this was one of my employee benefits from working at this particular Health Insurance Comany. (Hello … not dumb here!***)

But more on that, perhaps in another post. Anyway …

Because of the panic that ensued during my trip to the (more-than-I-bargained-for) MinuteClinic … Hubby managed to book a flight out and arranged for his cousin (who lives in the suburbs) to come stay with me in the ER. He also managed to contact my parents who, in turn arranged for my cousin to sit with me until Hubby could get into town. And for that … I couldn’t be more grateful.

And seriously? It’s amazing how one moment I went from feeling all alone and terrified to feeling incredibly loved and supported. Just by being there to talk to me and keep me company, the two of them helped calm my nerves and soothe my anxiety. It certainly helped that Hubby’s cousin is also an RN who I could clearly trade medical jokes with … and that my cousin was all game for checking out the cute ER doctors and residents with me. (Hey, I was sick … not blind!) In any case, I can’t even begin to express all the gratitude I have for them in just a few sentences. Because seriously? These people proved to me that I don’t have to feel so alone out here … that they are available to help out while Hubby still wraps things up back home. I am truly lucky …

Hubby did end up coming in to town, except it wasn’t until after I was discharged from the ER. My cousin drove me back to our place where my Aunt and other cousin (her mom and sister) came to bring us dinner. The four of us sat around (in my furniture-less place) watching Am.erican Id.ol on the TV (and then Ir.on Man on blue-ray …. ooooh!) until Hubby drove in from the airport. And once I was in his arms … well, the world melted away. While I felt incredibly bad that he had to drop what he was doing to come be by my side, I was just incredibly happy and relieved that he was next to me.

Oh and remember that advertisement for a local hospital system I saw on the train? Well … of all places, the EMTs took me to that hospital. I guess seeing that ad yesterday morning was literally a sign of things to come. But hey, at least now I know a few good docs in the area!

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

* Google Maps is one of the greatest inventions for those that aren’t familiar with public transportation in a big city. This is has been a life-saver for me during these car-less times!

** Ironically, one of my docs name was “Trigger.” As in “Let’s come up with a trigger diagnosis. Or “That doctor is known for his Trigger finger when ordering labs and studies.” Or better yet, “The guy is trigger-happy when giving those IV meds” Seriously, the list could go on and on …

*** Okay, well maybe just a little … After all, who’s the idiot that ended up in the emergency room?

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Cold Day in H*ll

Wow. I’ve never experienced being so frickin’ cold in my life. Today when walking from my office building to the train station (two and a half blocks away), I happened to catch a bank sign that announced the current temperature outside. Five. Below. Zero. And that doesn’t include the d*mn wind chill factor … in which I believe was forecasted as being up to Minus 30 Degrees. Hmmm … so that’s why it’s called the Windy City. Heh.

Lucky me was smart enough to wear knee high socks and leggings over the thick pants I wore with a long sleeved shirt under a thick red fleece pullover. Add the awesome North Face hooded coat, awesome winter boots and one of my hand knit scarves … I was go. Or so I thought.

By the time I traveled the one and a half blocks from the train station to our place, my cheeks were redder than my fleece top. And my fingers? Damn those cheap mittens … my fingers felt frozen to the core! So frozen, in fact, that they felt as if all my fingertips quickly grazed across the bottom of a hot iron. Seriously, it felt as if they were on fire!

What do you think? Should I get THIS ski mask ...
What do you think? Should I get THIS ski mask ...

Well at least I know my coat and boots work great … guess if I continue to work were I do, I should invest in a nice pair of gloves. Hubby says I should get one of those knitted ski masks like we used to wear as children … but I draw the line at that.

Speaking of work … now that I’m two weeks into my new job, I have to say that I’m quite impressed by this company. Coming from an area where jobs are being cut left and right and the overall morale is depressing, both emotionally and economically … (after all, Detroit is America’s Automotive Headquarters) it’s refreshing to enter a workplace that isn’t so downtrodden and beaten to the brow with talks of layoffs and cutbacks. In fact, in our department (Medical Management) we are actually in need of more RN Case Managers.

Or this one?!
Or this one?!

Oh, I know it’s not realistic to think that our department is impervious to the economic downswing of our nation … I know it will hit us sooner or later. However, to know that this particular place (and more specifically, our department) is indeed reporting actual savings in health care costs? Well, that just is simply refreshing. Because, quite frankly … where I came from, that was just not done. Not that they didn’t try to show cost savings, but for one reason or another they could never get the hard data to prove that they were saving costs.

Okay, I know I’m getting all technical here. To put it simply, this company is achieving their goals by doing the things that I’ve tried for years to do at my previous place of employment. And it’s just nice. Nice knowing that what I had been pushing for (and meeting lots of resistance along the way) in my previous job was actually being done successfully at the place I’m at now.

Needless to say, I’m liking it there. And it’s just one of the many facts to validate that my decision to move careers and locations was a d*mn good one.

Now, if we could just fix this cold weather …