Ugh. This … whatever it is, is kicking my butt. Instead of feeling better, after two days I’m feeling worse. Methinks I need to hit my primary doc’s office tomorrow. Anyhoo …
Today’s Show and Tell item is a photo from my cousin’s wedding in London, Ontario this past October. The ceremony was held at the Chapel at Windermere on the Mount, which is a retirement residence not far from the University of Western Ontario. However, prior to becoming this the place was once an all-girls Catholic school, serving also as the convent for the Sisters of St. Joseph. And prior to THAT, the location was actually the Motherhouse for the London Diocese since the mid 1800’s and also served as an orphanage.
I love digital cameras with zoom ...
The current chapel was built in 1953 and the decor clearly reflects this. Lots of stained glass, lots of nouveau Art Deco pieces. Oh, and lots of gorgeous tile work and woodwork, too. But what was most beautiful about the chapel, in my humble opinion, was exactly how the sun hit the the center of the altar at a particular time. At my cousin’s wedding , the sun decided to shine as the wedding rings were exchanged.
Lucky for me, I was able to capture it on film.
Well, kiddies. I think that’s it for this episode of Show and Tell. If I were feeling a little better, I might have been inclined to show you more. But alas … these cold medicines have been fogging up my brain.
Make sure you check out the other Show and Tell blogs this week!
I’m in the midst of finally catching up on much blog reading, after having called in sick yesterday. That cold turned out to be another bout of bronchitis, methinks. I’m actually down to some 20 more posts I need to read (most of which are yours, Pam … sorry! I just thoroughly enjoy reading your posts leisurely, as they are so poignant and beautiful).
And as Hubby (who coincidentally was working at home yesterday) and I flipped through the channels last night, we stumbled on the movie “Love Actually.”
Perfect, both of us thought. As coincidentally we had talked about when we should watch that movie this year. It’s been a yearly tradition for us to watch it around the holidays, as it’s listed as one of my most favorite movies of all time.
I love that it’s a myriad of different love stories that are weaved together, almost seemingly. And that it isn’t just the typical romance love story centered around the holidays. It’s certainly is a story about love during the holidays … but a variety of different loves. From unrequited love, to love lost, to love despite language barriers, to the love of friends and family.
The reason I love to watch this movie around the holidays is not only because it manages to get the childless infertile me into the holiday spirit, but it manages to remind me about what love is supposed to be about.
Not the romanticized version of it … not the one where a person wakes up and suddenly realizes that they can’t live without the other. Or the one where the two stars … despite the all that happens throughout the movie … finally get together in the end.
The love that this movie reminds me about is the every day kind of love. The love that endures the hardship and pain. The love that survives despite the every day things. And the not so every day things.
And for me, this movie reminds me about the kind of love that can survive infertility.
Last night Hubby & I were “hangin'” at the local coffee house, both of us on our laptops. Well … actually, Hubby was working while I just putzed around. And really, I should have been finishing up on the “quickie” knit project I’ve been working on for the past two weeks (so much for quick!). Or I could have been catching up on some much needed blog reading. But instead I surfed the web. And listened to some tunes off of Hubby’s laptop.
I guess I should preface this by saying that I usually rely on Hubby to update my iPod. He’s the one who uploaded most our songs from our CD collection into our digital library. He’s usually the one to find new artists and songs on the web for us. If there’s a certain tune I’m itching to hear, he’s the one that finds it and uploads it on my iPod. Many times when I stick my earbuds on at work (to drown out those loud co-workers while trying to concentrate), I end up finding little gems on my iPod.
For example, one week I had this incredible urge to hear that one Jo.an Je.tt song from that one movie she was in with Mi.chael J. Fox, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember the name of the song, let alone the name of the movie. (Oh yeah, I can hear y’all trying to remember it now, too … ) The next day at work, what do I find on my iPod? Uh-huh … He’s such a great guy, isn’t he?! I think so.
Anyway, lately Hubby’s been on an “Under $5” deal at the iTunes store, where you can purchase either movies or albums online for $4.99. Last week he got some great 80’s movies to watch on our iTouch. And this week? Well … that’s what we were listening to last night; the “Escape” album from Journey. “Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit” … Listening to it is totally flashing me back to growing up in the ‘burbs of Detroit back in the early 80’s.
I was telling Hubby that I remember that this particular album was one of those “tapes” that Dr. Bro bought during his one “stint” at the whole Co.lumb.ia H.ouse “Eight Tapes for a Penny” deals; the expensive shipping cost paid for by mowing neighbors’ lawns and saving his weekly allowances. So listening to the whole album in it’s entirety is like stepping back to the summers where Dr. Bro and I would ride around our neighborhood with our “bike gang.” And summers with swimming lessons at the local middle school.
When celebrating my mid-summer birthday meant either camping out of town or heading down to the county “wave pool.” Where summers were spent earning money by babysitting the neighborhood kids. Of which were eventually spent at the local B. Dalton’s buying books … and then reading them late at night under the covers with the flashlight.
The "Bike Gang"
Those days seem like such a lifetime away; even though it was only 25 years ago during this lifetime. It was a time of naivety; a time of feeling care-free. Especially during summers which, in it’s own, was a time of freedom. No timetable to conform to, no expectations to finish homework.
Referring back to yesterday’s post … it was simply a time of feeling as if anything was possible. As if the whole future was yet to be discovered. As if believing in any dream made could actually come true.
I miss those days. I miss not having to conform to a daily routine. And I miss not having expectations of others; and others not having expectations of me. I miss that feeling of the future being so far ahead of us … slightly out of reach, but still within the realm of reality. Still believing that anything is possible.
There are some days that I truly wish I could go back to that moment and relive it with the knowledge I have now. But then I remember that the choices and decisions I’ve made are what has made me into the person I am today. Bruised and a bit broken … but otherwise ready to face yet another challenge. Especially now that I’ve got that “second chance” I’ve been waiting for so long.
I am totally on cloud nine right now. The events over the past week and the reality that’s about to come has got me flying high.
I wish I could un-PWP those specific posts that can better explain the reason for such emotions. Unfortunately there are those certain aspects of our lives that won’t exactly allow us to shout it from the rooftops. At least for now.
In any case, this news has definitely added a skip to my step, a slight upturn to my lips … a light at the end of a really long and dark tunnel.
For once in a very long time, this change in tides just feels right. After years of banging my head up against a brick wall … of going through doors that seem to lead to nowhere … this path finally seemed to be the correct one. And the doors? They have amazingly been opening up all on their own. What a relief after years of struggling to open one door just to face the next locked door.
But I’m not taking anything for granted. I am truly relishing this moment. Because I know that moments like this are few and far between. Truth be told, the last time I’ve felt this excited … and full of optimism … was the two years before and the two years after our wedding. And that was more than ten years ago. (Wow. I just realize that it’s been that long …) Not that we haven’t had great times and haven’t formed a multitude of incredible memories and experiences … it’s just that we haven’t had that “anything is possible” feeling since then.
And especially since boarding that roller coaster ride called “Infertility.” Because really, there’s only so much “impossibility” (read: hopelessness, aka BFN … as in “Big Fat Negative” pregnancy test) that one can take.
Which is why I know not to take anything for granted. Seeing as I know that, even though at this very moment these doors are unlocked … it only takes a second for them to slam shut and to once again be dead-bolted.
So I’m going to relish this “high” for as long as I possibly can.
Jumping for Joy in Las Vegas at The Beatles "Love" Cirque Du Soleil
(Update 03.19.2009: Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can finally un-PWP this post!)
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Well … it’s official. I accepted the supervisor position. And at close to the salary I wanted with an added sign-on bonus, too. BONUS!!!
So all that’s left is to complete the drug screen and the background check. And apply for this state’s RN license. And find a place to live. At least those are the most immediate things I need to do. Before my start date which is unofficially January 5th.
I finally told my parents last night. And amazingly, they took it pretty well. I think deep down they knew that there just seemed to be something missing in our life. And as wonderful as our marriage was, we just didn’t seem to be happy. So I think that when I told them how this whole opportunity just seemed to be calling out to us, I think that sold them on the idea.
I probably won’t tell my current employer until I get the official notice; which should happen after the drug screen and background check are completed. But in the mean time … since you guys have been so incredibly awesome and patient with me, the least I can do is tell you where we’ll officially be moving.
Unfortunately, Kara … it’s not California, although it would have been awesome to move out that way. I can tell you that perhaps one day we will move out further west; as that would be both Hubby & my dream to live close to the Pacific. And no, Pam … it’s not Minnesota either. Or Indiana, Io. But where I’ll be will definitely be a closer drive for all of us to visit each other.
Yes, Hubby & I will still be in the Midwest … Chicago, to be exact. It’s a city that Hubby & I have always talked about moving to, even back in our college days. Except the opportunity just never seemed to surface. And then any chance of moving stalled once we took the journey down the infertility road. Because starting our family became our priority.
Now, it appears that this city is calling to us again. And lately, all the signs have been pointing us to that direction. And I am So. Frickin. Excited!!
Ugh. This … whatever it is, is kicking my butt. Instead of feeling better, after two days I’m feeling worse. Methinks I need to hit my primary doc’s office tomorrow. Anyhoo …
For example, one week I had this incredible urge to hear that one Jo.an Je.tt song from that one movie she was in with Mi.chael J. Fox, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember the name of the song, let alone the name of the movie. (Oh yeah, I can hear y’all trying to remember it now, too … ) The next day at work, what do I find on my iPod? Uh-huh … He’s such a great guy, isn’t he?! I think so.
