Good Deed #1
Yesterday started my Lenten journey of paying it forward. And what do you suppose I did for my random act of kindness? Well, it wasn’t anything spectacularly big … but I suppose by being a “random” or unplanned act, it doesn’t have to be anything astounding.
I must say, though … for my first “good deed,” I couldn’t ask for anything more simple and direct. Meaning that I really didn’t have to go so far out of my way to look for something nice to do. In this case, as I was walking into my work area … which just happens to be in a high traffic conference room area … I just happened to look down at a rather important-looking piece of paper that rested on the carpet. I bent down to get a closer look and realized that it happened to be someone’s RN license. And the name on the license didn’t belong to anyone that I knew.
As soon as I settled in to my cubicle, I logged on to my computer and proceeded to email the person whose name was on the license. Within minutes I was handing over the RN license to particularly happy individual; grateful that he didn’t have to spend the time logging on to the State’s website to print up a copy of the original license I just handed to him.
There you go … my first random act of kindness. And now, I get to unveil the first (of many) things that I’m thankful for.
I guess I will go for the most obvious thing (at least for me) that I’m grateful for … and that would be the fact that I married my best friend. Seeing that we first met in high school and have been together as a couple since the summer I graduated from high school … I am thankful that we have grown up and “grown into” the relationship that we have today. In other words, both of us have been very fortunate that we haven’t had any previous “baggage” to bring into our world; that we’ve been able to build our adult relationship from scratch.
And because I know there aren’t that many couples out there that have had this luxury of growing up together into a relationship and having the patience with each other as we’ve fumbled through “rookie” mistakes, I know that we’re lucky. And I am most grateful.
So there you have it … Day 1 of 40 done.
And the Emmy goes to …
Wow! I am totally feeling the bloggie love lately. First, I get a special secret “lollipop” from an anonymous reader. And then I actually get quoted about how much I enjoyed receiving such a lovely suprise.
And now? Well now I just received another wonderful suprise … a bloggie award from Mugsy at Drive Fast. Take Chances. How lucky can I be?!
Seriously though, Mugsy has always been such a wonderful commenter on my blog that I feel so special that she thinks I deserve the “Beautiful Blogger Award.” So thank you sooo much, Mugsy!
But like all wonderful awards, the best part about being recognized is to also recognize those other bloggers that inspire us. So with that, there are instructions that go along with receiving this award:
- Thank the person who nominated you for this award. (Check.)
- Copy the award and place it in your blog. (Double check.)
- Link the person who nominated you for this award. (Triple check.)
- Tell us 7 interesting things about you.
- Nominate 7 bloggers
- Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.
Okay, so seven interesting things about me. Eesh … let’s see:
- I have this almost unhealthy obsession with Johnny Depp. It started back in grade school when 21 Jump Street first came out and as followed me through my adult life. What can I say? I have a thing about intellectual bad boys. And thank G*d, my Hubby doesn’t mind!
- When I was young, my parents owned one of the earlier versions of a karaoke machine where you could actually record yourself (on a cassette tape, of course) singing to various songs. We had a whole library of songs you could sing to, including Wham!, Duran Duran, and Spandau Ballet. Somewhere in my parents’ basement is a whole 90 minute cassette tape of me singing all those early 80’s Madonna songs.
- Other than pets and (questionably) my Hubby & me, I can’t keep other living things alive. Plants, that is. Seriously, the longest plant I ever kept alive was a cactus … and even that’s saying something.
- I am not only a “Water Rat” (as the year of my birth dictates in the Chinese Zodiac), but I am a pack rat. I’d like to think it’s a reflection of how sentimental a person I am, and how much I like to hold on to keepsakes. Yeah … I’ll keep telling myself that.
- As much as I like to “collect” things (whether it’s shoes or bags or books), I’m a pretty simple gal when it comes to “material things.” I mostly like things for their “utilitarian” purpose rather than their “brand.” Not sure when that started happening though, because I know in my college and post-colleg years I was all about style and name. Maybe the cost of IF was one factor in changing that mindset …
- I’ve been an avid reader my entire life; thanks to my Mom, who starting taking Dr. Bro and I to the library as early as 6 and 4 years of age, respectively. I spent every summer up until about 8th grade participating in my hometown library’s Summer Reading Program.
- Between my Hubby & I, we own more than enough CDs and to start our own library. And although most of those CDs were bought in those college & post-college years, we still haven’t even uploaded even a fourth of those CDs onto our “digital” library.
So yeah. There’s my seven (not so) interesting things about me. Well, at least *I* don’t think there as interesting as … I don’t know … saying that I’m double-jointed, or something along that line.
And now … this is where I admit that I’ve been a bad bad BAD bloggie friend for … ahem … quite awhile now, actually. I can come up with some lousy excuse, but the truth is that I haven’t had much time to write a blog entry, let alone read and comment on other bloggie friend’s blogs. But seeing that I’m now *consciously* making an effort to write more … this should mean that I should also consciously make the effort to read and comment more, as well.
So this list? These are my tried and true blogs that I’ve loved to read throughout the life of my bloggie existence. A few are bloggers who started out in the same Infertility boat as I was … and in the three years I’ve been blogging, we’ve all diverged in different directions. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t stop enjoying their updates. Anyway … here goes.
- Pamela at Blood Signs. She’s a fellow midwesterner, who shares my love of books and music. Add to the fact that she’s a beautiful writer, well … it can’t get any better than that.
- Christina at Apron Strings. Oh yes … anyone that shares the same love of Everything But The Girl with me is gold in my eyes. And given the fact that we also share the same Wedding Anniversary date … well, that just is the icing on the cake!
- Kate at The Only Bee In Your Bonnet. I’ve loved following along with Kate’s journey. She’s got a way of writing that has you wanting to know more about her life and her thoughts. And because she’s just as wordy as I am, I can appreciate it all.
- Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants Vodka. Yep, Aunt Becky made the list … for no other reason than her writing completely Cracks. Me. Up. There have been many days where I’ve found myself in the dumps and all I needed to do is click over to Aunt Becky and I would find myself smiling. Add to the fact that she has always been there for me, commenting on my blog … well, I couldn’t ask for a better bloggie friend.
- Kelly over at Soapchick. I first met stalked Kelly IRL at a Resolve event back in MI and I couldn’t be more grateful for the incredible support and strength she’s provided me in my life these past few years.
- Loribeth at The Road Less Travelled. As I fumbled through deciding where my IF journey would eventually take me, Loribeth has been an inspiration for me. With her writing, she’s allowed me to realize that life DOES go on, despite the curve balls that get thrown our way.
- Mrs. Spit at Mrs. Spit … Still Spouting Off. There is something … for lack of better words … ethereal about Mrs. Spit’s writings. Just like Aunt Becky has a way of making me laugh, Mrs. Spit has this way of soothing my soul. And in weathering the storms I’ve faced these past few years, she has been that sense of calm I’ve needed .
So there you have it. I’ve now officially passed on my award to others. But not before, once again, thanking Mugsy for such an honor …
Blessings & Curses
I know it’s a little late, but Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone.
Since Hubby & I knew we’d be spending the day traveling back to Chicago, we had our “date night” last night. So what did we do? Well, nothing special … other than a very simple dinner and a trip to the movie theater to see the latest romantic comedy, “Valentine’s Day.”
The movie was cute and definitely enjoyable. I loved all the different vigniettes and how they were all interconnected (or tied) to one another. However, there was something about this movie that wasn’t quite up to par with my all-time favorite romantic comedy, “Love, Actually.” Maybe it’s the Brit humor, but I just seem to like how that story unfolds better.
Let’s see … what else? Oh yes; Emily is finally “Back in Black.” Meaning, of course that my “Pepe Le Pew” white stripes from my grey hair is finally back to being completely black. Yeah, I know … I really should be dyeing my hair after 2-3 months. But the cheapskate in me doesn’t want to shell out the money to do it.
I know, I know … I could always do it myself; buy the dye from the local drug store and spend a Saturday night “washing my hair.” Except there is no way that I’d be able to dye it myself without getting hair dye all over the counter and floor. At least with the amount of hair that I have, anyway.
I consider myself “blessed” to have a head full of extra-thick coarse hair. And despite the fact that I use “extra-strength” hair dye with all that ammonia and other fumes, my hair is pretty darn healthy. Not that I mean to boast about my hair, but I’ve been told by many-a-person that they would kill to have my head of hair.
Except, with this blessing also comes “the curse.” And my curse just happens to be gray hair. I blame genetics and heredity for my prematurely graying. Both my parents started graying in their late 20’s/early 30’s … and me? Well, I started graying in my mid-20’s; progressively getting worse each year to where I truly could look like the Bride of Frankenstein if I go too long between hair appointments. But at least I have a head-full of hair that definitely keeps my head warm in the winter time!
Anyway, the whole “blessing and curse” thing about my hair had me thinking of my other blessing/curse; especially since today is the day all about love.
First the blessing: I consider the fact that I married my best friend my # 1 blessing in life. And the fact that I found him early in my life is just a huge bonus. Because really … who better to grow up and grow old with, and share all life’s adventures with than your best friend?
And now the curse: No surprise that the curse is our inability to have children of our own. It’s just frustratingly disappointing that Hubby & I won’t be able to experience one of the biggest grand adventures in life. But I suppose that as long as Hubby’s by my side, every day will be a grand adventure.
It’s strange to actually write those last two sentences on my blog. For years, it’s always been about how unfair it was that Hubby & I couldn’t have children. After all we have such a great relationship and would make such great parents. However, the older I get (and the further distance I put between myself and my childlessness), the more I begin to appreciate the so-called “Grand Adventure” that infertility has provided Hubby & me.
It’s because of IF that I’ve begun to realize that life is full of such “blessings” and “curses.” For every negative aspect of life, there must be an equally positive aspect.
And it’s also because of IF that I’ve discovered that life is about finding balance in everything. That whatever aspect or experience in life that might bring us down … there is yet another aspect or experience in life that will lift us up. The key just happens to be in finding this balance.
So I think that’s what I’m going to try to do with every unsettling situation I run into, regardless of whether it’s my personal or professional life (or even my checkbook!). I’m going to try to find the counterbalance in any aggrevating circumstance. Perhaps this will get me more into that Zen state that I’ve been trying to achieve for years …
Oh, and because it happens to coincide with this year’s Valentine’s Day, Happy Chinese New Year to you. May the Year of the Tiger bring you much happiness and prosperity!
All "Kidding" Aside …
Hubby & I are back in Michigan for the weekend. It’s kinda nice to be back, although I do believe that the weather report exaggerated exactly how much snow that they supposedly got. I mean really … Chicago got a whopping 12.6 inches in 24hrs last week, so I was expecting at least 10-12 inches here as well. But nope; it looks like there was only about 4 inches outside of our house.
It’s funny though, because after experiencing the snow storm in Chicago last week, I realize how much I could actually survive in a city where there is a lot of walking involved. Especially that walk from work to the El station, and the El station to our apartment. Or when needing to take our puppy out for a walk.
Oh trust me, it was tiring walking in a foot of snow, but it’s so different from winter life here in Michigan where the longest walk would be from my car to the front door of my (previous) office building. Or the longest amount of time I’d have to be outside was to shovel the driveway and sidewalk.
Anyway, the reason we are back in town this weekend was to celebrate our friends’ daughter’s 1st birthday. This particular couple has survived the the throes of infertility and have managed to get a totally awesome daughter in the process. A-girl is such a good-natured girl; always smiling and engaging everyone that comes in contact with her. Even in the midst of her birthday party when we could tell she was getting really sleepy, she still would smile and allow others to hold and carry her.
And as A-girl sat in our lap today, both Hubby & I couldn’t help but be amazed with her. We let her play with my iPhone and were quite surprised by how her little chubby fingers could flip through my photo album. Then we let her play Bejeweled 2 for the phone, and were shocked when we saw how successful she was … especially since her dad happens to be the one person‘s score I aim to beat every week on Facebook.
Also at this party was Cutie Girl; the same precocious little girl who always asks us about our dog and our cats. She is so sassy and smart that I can’t help but be taken in by her incredibly large personality.
So, as usual, she spent a whole 45 minutes or so with us, talking about our pets and what we could do to get her “Daddy” to agree to get one for her. I swear, this kid … if she continues to have that fearlessness and confidence about her … could very well be someone important and/or famous in the future. She’s just one of these kids that people just naturally gravitate to!
And yes, I also got to see my beautiful niece Kairi. She is growing so fast now! Except, well … since we didn’t get enough time to spend with just her, she wasn’t exactly in a “playful” mood with her Auntie & Uncle. And that kinda bummed me out.
Part of me thinks that the reason Kairi is like this around me is because she’s just not “used” to us … after all, she only sees us during major family gatherings. But then there’s the other part of me that thinks that the events that unfolded after her birth had a part to play with my relationship with her. It’s like … I don’t know … she unconsciously (or even consciously) knows that there was a major strain between her mom & me immediately following her birth.
I think there’s this incredible Catholic guilt feeling that feeds that train of thought. It’s the same thought I had during my SIL’s pregnancy with Liam and his consequent passing: that the circumstances surrounding Liam’s short life was a result of my feelings of jealousy over my SIL’s pregnancy. And similar to that, my lack of “connection” with Kairi is a result of the loss of connection with her mom following her birth. Realistically I know that none of it is true, but there are those days … like today …that these thoughts are stronger that usual.
I know I haven’t talked much lately about how my relationship with my SIL has been. It’s partly because I’ve learned from certain “foot in mouth” statements that certain things are best left off of Blog Land. But it’s mostly because things have been rather quiet and low key amongst the two of us. I’d like to think that we’ve reached a silent “truce” of sorts … that we’ve managed to move forward in fixing those severed ties.
I don’t think things will ever be a 100% better between SIL and me; but I do know that I’ve since learned a lot about myself since then. And one of them is knowing that I’m strong enough to move past the anger and hurt and resentment I felt for so long. Sure there will always be times where I might just shake my head at certain activities or actions, but I’m quite sure she probably has those same moments when thinking about me, as well. And I’m really, truly okay with that.
If anything, being in a room full of children under the age of 7 proves that I’m finally at that stage in my IF journey where I can start to let things go and accept things for what they are. And it, quite remarkably, feels good.
