Category: Friends

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25 Random Things

Okay, so I’m being completely lazy here. But since I posted this on my Facebook page, I might as well do this here too.

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I’m not too big on these things, but I would like to know more about my friends so if you have time, fill this out and at least tag me so I can learn more about you. 🙂

25 Random Things to Share

Rules:
Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people (yeah, right!!) to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

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Alrighty then … here goes:

  1. I’m a big procrastinator. As I recently commented on a friend’s Facebook status, I put the “crass” in procrastinate.
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  2. I could sleep ten hours a day if given the opportunity. It’s not for wanting to, or for being lazy … I just constantly feel like I never get that “good night’s sleep.”
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  3. I never thought I’d marry a person from the same culture that I grew up in. But yet I did … and I hold that over my Mom whenever she brings up what a “horrible kid I was.” My response always is … “well, at least I married a Filipino!”
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  4. Speaking of Hubby … he was my first date ever. We went to the Homecoming Dance at each other’s high school when I was sixteen. But we didn’t start dating until after I graduated from high school.
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  5. Hubby is my absolute best friend in the entire world. People may think it’s strange that I want to spend every moment of my life with him, but it’s the honest to God’s truth.
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  6. I always thought I wouldn’t marry until I was in my late 20’s and have my first child before I was 30. Instead, I got married at 24 and, to this date, still don’t have any children. But trust me … it’s not for lack of trying.
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  7. I used to think that if you set your mind to a specific goal and worked hard at it, you’d always achieve that goal. But now I’m smart enough to know that’s not always true. Going through infertility treatments has taught me that.
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  8. And because of #7, infertility has knocked down my self-confidence and self-esteem. While they’re not completely gone from my life, they’re certainly not as prominent as they were in college or those first two post-college years. Okay, enough sad things …
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  9. In high school, I was voted “Class New Waver.” Yes, I grew up in the 80’s. And listened to a lot of Depeche Mode. And New Order. And Smiths. And the list can go on and on. But I still think New Wave and Goth music can put some of these Emo bands to shame …
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  10. Being who I was “labeled” in high school … it’s actually quite funny that I’ve always had this secret wish to be either a cheerleader or on the dance team. (Yes, I can hear y’all groaning now.) But I think it’s more because I wanted to break out of the Asian “nose-always-in-books” mold and be more “American.”
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  11. Speaking of my “Asian”-ness … I’ve pretty much gotten mistaken for every Asian nationality out there … including Indian, Pakistani, and Sri Lankan. I’ve also gotten mistaken for American Indian and Guatemalen. Oh, and once someone mistook me for an Eskimo.
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  12. I’ve always wanted to be a writer or a journalist. Except the Filipino side of me keeps telling me that I could never make a living out of it. (Grrr … I wish my parents’ voice would stop infiltrating my brain!)
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  13. Which is why I like to keep a blog: http://apronstringsemily.com/
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  14. And why I like to keep advertising it. (Tee hee … there’s two things “wasted!)
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  15. In my immediate family, I’m the one that’s the sports nut. You’d think it would be my older brother … but I’m the one who watches the most hockey and basketball and football.
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  16. I’d blame my husband for my love of sports, but it truly started in grade school after catching my first Red Wings game at a school outing.
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  17. I met my oldest friend (although we hardly keep in contact anymore) in kindergarten. I still have a picture of us dressed up with paper bunny ears and a painted bunny nose for Easter.
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  18. My closest friends are those that I don’t even see that often … Thank God for Facebook and the internet.
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  19. And speaking of Facebook … I’ve managed to keep in touch with lots of my cousins this way. And I’ve managed to get in contact with quite a few high school and even grade school friends!
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  20. So … my hope is to continue to keep these friendships going. After all … it seems like the older I get, the harder it is to make new friends.
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    (Seriously? I’ve gotta come up with five more?! Okay … I’ll scrounge.)
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  21. I was a Brownie and a Girl Scout up until 6th grade. And I can’t believe that GS cookes now cost four bucks a box. Sheesh … they sold for under a dollar when I sold them.
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  22. When I was little, I wished that I could have a more “common” name like “Jenny” or “Elizabeth” because all my friends were named that. Now I wish my name wasn’t the most popular name out there.
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  23. I’m predominantly right-handed … but there are certain things I do with my left hand. Like brush my teeth. And knit.
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  24. Yes, that’s right. I knit. I’ve only done bags, scarves and hats and baby stuff. Maybe even a sweater or two. But it’s something that I find rather comforting.
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    (And finally … )
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  25. I suck at multi-tasking. Which is probably why I’m really good at procrastinating.

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Whew … that’s the list. If you’ve stuck around to read all of this, I applaud you.

And no … I’m not tagging anyone. I just thought this would be a fun thing to share with everyone …

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Everything's The Same …

… But different.

Yes, I know that things are “physically” different lately … especially as to my actual location these days. Lots of new things to discover, lots of new routines to learn. For instance, I’m still trying to figure out exactly what time I need to leave our place in order to catch the train to make it to work on time. (And notice I said “place” and not “home“!) Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that there *is* a difference when leaving 15 minutes earlier or later from the previous day.

Anyhoo …

Hubby and I realized around Christmas that this year would be his 20th high school reunion. Which meant that next year would be mine. While I know Hubby will most likely not go to his, I’m still on the fence as to whether or not I would want to go to mine. That is … if we even have one. Because, quite frankly … we never had a 15 year one (which most other graduating classes from my high school have had one). And also because finding people I graduated with on Facebook is much easier to do than I ever thought. Plus, going through social network websites like that afford you the opportunity to only contact those people that you genuinely want to catch up with.

I’ve been rather lucky. My first golden contact happened almost 10 years ago, when a good friend (let’s call her E) from high school contacted me through classmates-dot-com. From her, I managed to get in touch with yet another one of our good friends, G. And while we all live in different parts of the US, we have managed to keep in touch these past 10 years, seeing each other separately at various times. There has only been one opportunity for the three of us to gather together one time in all those years … but in true “girlfriend fashion,” it was  a “slumber party!” And no, there were no “light-as-a-feather” seances or incidents of frozen of underpants. It was just simply good ole “sit-in-front-of-the-TV and eat chocolate” girlfriend fun.

Last Wednesday night, I received a phone call from G. She has been a rock for me these past few years; especially over the past two years. And even though we might not talk on the phone or email as often as we’d like, she had this knack for sending snail mail at the times I needed it most. Now, whether that was intentional … I’ll never know. But her words always managed to soothe me; remind me that she was there for me when I needed her, even if that wasn’t physically written in the letter.

In any case, G’s phone call that night was to deliver some news. And yes, it was that news; the news that she was pregnant. And not only was she pregnant, but she was more than 7 months along and due at the end of March. She didn’t tell me sooner, she told me in our conversation, because she knew that I was not in the best shape emotionally at the time she found out for herself.

I honestly could not be anything more than excited for G. Truth be told, I was waiting for the day that I would be the receiver of such news. It was only a matter of time, as G and her husband have now been married more than a few years. And, not to sound as if I’m just “going through the motions” here … I’m genuinely happy for G and her hubby.

What surprised me most during this phone conversation is that I had this incredible longing to see G pregnant. Why this particular high school friend and not any another … or not even my SIL during her recent pregnancies? I don’t know if I could explain it clear enough. But I will try my best …

Part of me thinks it’s because I can still recall how my friends and were back in high school. How innocent we looked. How our futures seemed so hazy and obscure; so distant from where we were at that time in our lives. Now that future is here, and we can’t seem to slow it down or stop it from moving forward. So by capturing an image this particular friend during her pregnancy … I relate it as a way for us to slow down the moment and enjoy the happiness of it all.

Something in the back of my mind seems to think the need to capture this moment is also related to the recent changes I’ve made in my life … one which doesn’t have me dwelling on my “failure” to have my own children. One that has me focusing on the best part of myself and repairing my overall health … versus focusing on what I would probably consider the worst bits of me. You know … the over-stressed, overly sensitive, “Why not me?” type of person.

In any case, I’m ecstatic for G and cannot wait to see pictures of her little one, due the end of March.

Last week, I also had the opportunity to spend time with another high school friend, K … the one who lives about a block and a half away from our place. I also got to meet her hubby and her beautiful (almost) 9 month old daughter. After seeing videos of K’s baby on her blog for months, I was finally able to hold that cutie-pie girl. And, oh my!  She’s just as charming and sassy as she was on all those videos I’ve watched.

Oh, and did I mention that K’s hubby is a sous chef at a pretty fancy-schmancy restaurant? And that I got to sample some of his fantastic cooking that night? Yeah … It. Was. Simply. Delish!

After chatting online with K for months, talking to her face-to-face was incredible. It was like we picked up where we left off more than 15 years ago! That level of comfort, of humor … it was as if we both jumped off a wagon back in the midst of college to go our separate ways, only to catch the same wagon 15 years later without missing a beat.

The conversation flowed seamlessly that night. (I stayed waaay past my bedtime for a “work” night!) And the more K & I talked, the more we realized how much we’ve changed over the years. Not in personality … as we still blathered about in the same witty sarcastic dialogue as we did in HS. But rather we’ve changed in the way we’ve approached certain situations. And that our own personal experiences made us feel as if we were no longer “invincible” …  that the paths our lives took, although very different, taught us pain and frustration and heartache.

But in the end, K & I both realized that despite what we’ve been through, we consider ourselves very truly lucky to be where we’re at today. Both of us are not quite “finished” with what we want to accomplish in our lives (K with her career and me with … well, I still don’t really know), but what we’ve been through and where we are today is nothing short of amazing.

After both these encounters last week, I realized that even though there has been  many changes  in my life over the years (whether personal or professional), deep down I know I’m the same person inside. I still have that silly, quirky personality, and while sometimes hidden, I know it’s somewhere in this mind and body. I just need to dig deep down to find myself again.

Wow. Long and babbling post. But as I know that both G and K (and not to forget E) read this blog, I wanted to let them know just how much their friendships mean to me. Really, girls … even though we don’t see or talk to each other much, I just wanted to let you know that you are all very special to me. And your friendships, especially because of my lack of any sort of sisterhood-bond, are something that I will treasure always.

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Happy Holidays!

Wow. It’s been a whirlwind few months. Actually, it’s been quite a year. But we won’t go into that, as it’s documented quite well in these virtual pages.

What I really want to say, besides “Happy Holidays” and such is this. Thank you for everyone that has read my ramblings over the years. Whether you’ve commented or not, just knowing that there is someone out there “listening” to my hopes, dreams, heartbreaks and heartaches means more than you’ll ever know.

And my wish is that my writings, my sometimes incoherent babble … somehow touched you in some way. It could have been a silly comment that made you smile. Or an angry tirade that “spoke” those words you could never say aloud. Or perhaps an observation noted or a sentiment stated that precipitated a moment of genuine clarity as to the complexities of infertility or life as a first generation Asian-American.

In any case, I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, a Peaceful Winter Solstice. May the warmth of this holiday season carry each and every one of you throughout your lives.

fireplace

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"525,600 minutes …"

(Update 03.19.2009: Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can finally un-PWP this post!)

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… 525,600 journeys to plan
525,600 minutes
How can you measure
The life of a woman or man?”

 – “Seasons of Love”

 

Well, it’s official. I am back to apartment living … and rent. (Ah-hah! Now you get the reference to the song lyrics from the Broadway musical, “Rent.”)

Along with our trip to Cedar Rapids, IA this weekend, we made another trip to Chicago. Well, for the day anyway. Because we would have had to drive by it on our way back home on Sunday anwyay.

Prior to us leaving, I set up an appointment with a free apartment finder service in the city. And that was because the previous weekend, Hubby & I tried to look for apartments in areas we thought we might like. Well, between the fact that we didn’t have any set plans … nor did we have anything else other than a street maps of the city and me as the navigator … I guess you can say I freaked out on Hubby there for a bit.

Yes, I finally had my first major freak-out. Pretty darn good, considering it had been more than a month since realizing that I might actually moving out of state. Seriously. I think the whole reality of it finally sank in. So … one freak-out thus far ain’t so bad.

Anyway … I must say, Hubby & I were a little anxious to look at places. Didn’t know what to expect, but hoped for the best. We met our agent, M shortly after arriving in the city in time for our appointment. Right away, Hubby & I felt comfortable with her.

M looked up apartments in the areas we were interested in with all the anemities we were interested in having (newish or refurbished kitchen/bath, two bedrooms, at least one bath, takes cats and a dog, and close to the El) within the price range we were willing to pay monthly. Hubby & I knew it would be hard to find everything we wanted within that range, so we were cautiously optimistic.

After finding a handful of apartments that fit our search, we were off to look at the places. One was really nice, but small. Another was a nice size, but not in a location we liked. A third had a great layout and was situated above an Italian (!!) restaurant, but the bedrooms were too small. And a fourth also had a great layout and was a tad larger, but was too old for our liking.

By this time, Hubby and I were starting to feel like we were being way too picky. Realistically, we knew not to settle for just anything, but the pressure of wanting to find something so we could move in prior to me starting the new job had us worried. That, and we didn’t want to waste any more of M’s time, as by this time it was about 6 pm and we still had to drive back to Michigan that night. (Not all the way home, but to Lansing. So that hubby could just go into work the next day without having to make another 1.5 hr drive back west from our home the next morning. Lucky me was off that day …)

Amongst all the different areas we drove through, we were pleasantly suprised that we genuinely liked M. She was very professional. And knowledgeable about the various areas we were interested in. In addition, we found out we were similar in age and enjoyed much of the same types of music from back in the 80’s. And let’s not even get into the same types of cuisine we all liked as well!

At one time, I asked about the diversity of a certain neighborhood we really wanted to live in, strictly because one of Hubby’s (very conservative) co-workers asked about it. Not that it mattered to us, I told M. In fact, for us diversity (whether it be cultural or lifestyle) was important to us because of who WE were as people. And what we liked to be surrounded by on a daily basis. And how moving here was going to be the beginning of embracing the open attitude we’ve always had in our lives. Which, given where we currently live and the environment we’re surrounded by, has been readily shoved aside. (More on this later.)

As we were heading to the next apartment on the list, M slowed her car down and said that she was going to go against all the rules for her job and not to say anything to her employer about what she was going to do.

It was at that moment that M told us about another apartment, currently not listed with their agency, that she thought we would like. And the reason she knew about this place was because she used to live in this apartment, but because of financial issues had to move to a smaller place. She said the landlord was awesome and would be willing to negotiate with us as far as rent. She also added that she would honestly be losing out on a commission if we decided to rent this place, but she truly liked us and thought that the two of us would fit in nicely with the rest of the tenants and landlord as well as the rest of the neighborhood. And, oh by the way … would we be interested in seeing it?

Well, h*ll … after that buildup, how could we say no?!

So off to the apartment we went. And all I can say is Oh. My. G*d. The place was just about perfect for what we were looking for. Yeah, there were a couple of odd things, but after what he had seen earlier … we couldn’t have asked for anything better! And the landlord? Incredibly nice and clearly down-to-earth. He and his wife (and 3 kids) live directly across the street and, I’ve got to say … Hubby and I both felt just good vibes surrounding him.

Seeing that Hubby & I haven’t rented in, oh … let’s just say more than a decade … we were both trying not to show too much excitement over the place. But after exchanging contact info, meeting another one of the neighbors in the next building, and finally climbing back into M’s car … neither of us could hold back our enthusiasm for the place. In fact, right away Hubby & I turned to M to ask her what our next steps should be. So … after some really sound advice (about deposit and lease length, etc), M encouraged us to call Mr. LL (aka “landlord”) and tell us that we were very interested in the place.

After finishing the phone call with Mr. LL, Hubby & I turned to M and told her that seeing that she wouldn’t get any comission for what she just did … she would be either our first guest in our new place or we’d be taking her on a night out. And … Oh. My. G*d. She was now officially our first “new” friend here in Chicago!

Afterwards as Hubby and I were driving back to Mr. LL’s place to drop of the security deposit … Hubby turned to me and asked if I had any inclination that M was gay. Because he was as sure as H*ll that she would have found the diversity question I asked earlier offensive … if I didn’t have any idea about her personal life. I had an inkling that she was, which is what I told Hubby. (Which we were later able to confirm by conversations with both Mr. LL and M, herself.)

But … WOW! What if I never asked that diversity question? What if I didn’t have any inkling about M’s lifestyle? What if we never got the opportunity to discuss how we consciously acknowledged that growing up Asian-American in a very sheltered white-collar/blue-collar environment affected how WE openly approach those who people may have grown up just as “different” as we did?

Well, I suppose that would mean that we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to see such an awesome apartment. Nor would we have been introduced to Mr. LL, who appears just as excited as we are to move in to this little community. And let me tell you, Hubby is just as excited that I’ll be surrounded by a good landlord … not to mention a couple downstairs with two gentle pitbulls and another male couple upstairs … who would look out after me during the first two months I’d be there without him.

Wow. I still can’t believe that yet another door has opened for me. I am so incredibly grateful for how things seem to be working in our favor with this change!

And as it appears I’ll be slowly be moving within the next two weeks … I suppose I should go. Because now I have, oh … about 525,600 things to do.

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Holy Crap. Wanna talk about MAJOR stars shining down on Hubby & me right now? I just found out that a good friend of mine from high school … one who we just recently started to reconnect with through Face.book … currently lives about a block and a half away from where we’ll be living!

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An Apron Strings First!

 

My 1st Badge of Honor
My 1st Badge of Honor

Oh. Em. Gee. I can’t believe it … I actually got my first badge of honor! Thanks, WiseGuy, for first of all reading my ramblings. And second, for thinking that it’s worth any type of recognition. I am so appreciative of being the recipient of such an award!

And now, hmmmm … who should I pass this on to? Wow. Way too many great bloggers out there to narrow it down. But alas, I must choose only seven of them.

So without further ado and in no particular order (goodness, I sound like I should be announcing the Oscar nominees) …

The List of Honorees:

  1. Kara at Becoming Parents: Even before I met her IRL, I knew she was one cool chick!
  2. Kate at Bee in the Bonnet: It’s so wonderful to know that I am not the only one who loves to ramble on and on …
  3. Io at Who Shot My Stork?: Who wouldn’t want to read a blog with that title?! This girl always makes me smile, and she just rocks!
  4. Pam at Blood Signs: Her writing has this way of lingering in my thoughts for days after first reading her posts.
  5. Christina at Apron Strings: When another person totally gets the reason behind our shared blog title … well then, she totally gets me as a person, too.
  6. Mrs. Spit at Mrs. Spit Spouts Off: The strength behind her words and her corresponding actions is something I admire very very much.
  7. LoriBeth at The Road Less Travelled: I’ve learned a lot about trying to move past my grief just from reading her blog; and for that I am grateful.

There is a catch though … Apparently, in order to fully “accept” this award, I’m supposed to answer the following questions in one word … And, if my “Seven Honorees” choose to do so, they can do the same. But at the very least, ladies … please pass the award on to others.

Anyhoo … I’ve done this meme before, but it’ll be fun to do it again. So here goes:

  1. Where is your cell phone? Bedside
  2. Where is your significant other? Asleep
  3. Your hair color? Black
  4. Your mother? Catholic
  5. Your father? Golf
  6. Your favorite thing? Laptop
  7. Your dream last night? None
  8. Your dream/goal? Happiness
  9. The room you’re in? Hotel
  10. Your hobby? Blogging
  11. Your fear? Failure
  12. Where do you want to be in six years? Happy
  13. Where were you last night? Shopping
  14. What you’re not? Fake
  15. One of your wish list items? Travel
  16. Where you grew up? Suburbia
  17. The last thing you did? Type
  18. What are you wearing? Jammies
  19. Your T.V.? Off
  20. Your pet? Home
  21. Your computer? Laptop
  22. Your mood? Sleepy
  23. Missing someone? Cousins
  24. Your car? Saturn
  25. Something you’re not wearing? Bra
  26. Favorite store? Target
  27. Your Summer? Short
  28. Love someone? Hubby
  29. Your favorite color? Blue
  30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
  31. Last time you cried? Yesterday

And there you have it. Thanks again, WiseGuy, for the award. And everyone … don’t forget to spread the love!