Ticket To Ride

Almost a week without a post. Yes, I’m trying to get better at writing at least one post a week here. At least thats my goal.

As it turns out, I’m on a train heading back to Detroit from Chicago. Hubby and I drove back to Chicago in mid-March, but he had to get back to Detroit before I returned from my Boston work trip this past week. Anyway, this just means that I have a little window of opportunity to sit and write without being distracted.

Dr. Bro, LJC and me at Disneyworld

Being a “Road Warrior” for work has given me the opportunity to spend more time listening to music on my digital library. After all, many times I find myself in airports for just enough time to check my email, but not enough time respond to them. Or else I’m literally on the road driving to a location hours away from where I started. Either way, music is my constant companion at these times.

It’s refreshing for me, because music has always been part of my life. One that only recently re-entered at full force after years of focusing on a career. Or trying to get pregnant.

My parents always had music on in the house and in the car. In fact, many of those road trips we’d take as a family involved worn out cassette tapes or — gasp! — old 8-tracks.

One of my favorite memories is my first trip to Disneyworld at the age of 6. My parents packed my brother, my cousin (who would later be known as LJC) & me in our tan wood-paneled station wagon along with our two grandmothers and an uncle and drove down from Detroit to Orlando. During that trip, I believe my parents only took a handful of 8-tracks; ones that we would constantly repeat, only because we couldn’t get any radio reception when driving through the mountains.

Let’s just say that by the end of our trip, the three kids knew all the words to every Neil Sedaka song, as well as all the singing parts to the Grease soundtrack. And it’s apparently a memory that keeps on giving, because Hubby can attest that I was recently able to identify a Neil Sedaka tune!

Another 8-track that was in the wagon during that trip was one of many Beatles compilations that my Dad threw together. It was from that home-made “playlist” (created circa 1978) that I learned the words to most of the Beatles songs. And to this day, every time I hear “Ticket To Ride” I have this incredible urge to belt out the song.

The 1978 Road Warriors (minus Mom)

It’s one of those childhood memories I keep stored close to my heart. And one that usually surfaces whenever I hear any song that reminds me of road trips and spontaneous singing.

For instance: Today on the train, “Tiny Dancer” came  up in “shuffle-mode.” The first image that came to mind was my favorite scene in “Almost Famous.”

Or the other day I thought of “Harold & Kumar” when hearing Wilson Phillips “Hold On” on the radio.

Regardless of the song, each one brought me back to my own road trip memories and how much fun they were when music was thrown into the mix. And hearing each song certainly gave me the urge to break out into spontaneous singing. Loudly. And at the top of my lungs.

And, in the midst of the chaos that my life has become of late … It made me happy.

So even though I might not be an American Idol contestant, I think I might just sing aloud. At least in the privacy of my own home. Or car. Or shower.

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Your turn, oh Internets … What song makes you think of road trips? Or what song makes you break out your singing voice?

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Related Posts:

Emily’s Living Journal

Emily hears her Own Voice

Emily’s Pitch is a little Black

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Oh, how I miss our old station wagon ...

Blog O’Versary

Four years. That’s how long I’ve been blogging.

It doesn’t seem like it’s been that many years. In that span of time, I’ve come to terms with my inability to have children. And Hubby & I have come to the decision to live child-free after infertility.

Wow, writing that last paragraph appears as if I’ve reduced the past four years into two simple sentences. Except I have 423 posts that say otherwise.

So either I’m too wordy … or I have a lot of issues.

I’m betting on the latter.

Anyway, I figured the best way for me to celebrate my 4th Blog O’Versary (my little ode to St. Patty’s Day) is to do that (in)famous “Meme of Four.”

Of course there are variations of this particular meme, so since it’s my blogoversary … I decided to pick the ones I wanted to answer. So without further ado …

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Four Jobs I’ve Had

  • Whopper-Maker for “The King” (and I’m not talking about Elvis, either)
  • Broke Music Store Employee, who spent most of her paycheck on things called “tapes” and “records.”
  • Rockin’ Teacher’s Assistant at my University
  • Registered Nurse working for the “dreaded” HMO (actually, it was a rewarding job … )

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Four places I’ve lived
(Yeah, this one was easy)

  • Metro Detroit
  • Metro Detroit
  • Chicago
  • Metro Detroit

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Four shows I like to watch
(I have many, but these are my current faves)

  • Glee
  • The Good Wife
  • Criminal Minds
  • Fringe

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Four movies I can watch over and over

  • 10 Things I Hate About You
  • Love, Actually
  • Notting Hill
  • Goonies

.

Four things I get cross about

  • Texting while driving
  • Selfish, self-centered people
  • Uninformed and ignorant statements
  • The lack of problem-solving skills in the world today

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Four words/phrases I use a lot

  • Seriously?
  • Y’all (I blame it on all the time I’ve spent in the South for work lately)
  • Naughty!
  • Sorry …

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Four websites I visit daily

  • Facebook (admittedly addicted)
  • New York Times
  • Amazon (I like to “window” shop)
  • Multiple Blogs

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Four things I am looking forward to

  • Our 15th Wedding Anniversary (in August)
  • Traveling the world with Hubby (someday)
  • Retirement (maybe someday)
  • Growing old with Hubby (definitely … )

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Four things I’ve learned from the past

  • There are things in this world that are waaay beyond our control …
    no matter what science or medicine can provide
  • It really does take a huge leap of faith in order to move forward from loss
  • As Mick says, “You can’t always get what you want”
  • FAMILY:
    • can include every single aunt, uncle, and cousin you’ve become close to
    • It can also include those people that have touched your life in some way or another
    • AND most importantly, it can also mean just Hubby and me

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Four things I want to do before I die

  • Spend a month traveling Europe
  • Write a novel and publish it
  • Move to the Pacific Northwest
  • Spend an entire week somewhere on any tropical beach, reading and soaking up the sun

.

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Thank you to all who’ve still kept me on your blog reader. Even though I haven’t been the best of bloggers lately. Your words and your support (both here on my blog and on Facebook) mean the world to me … and have certainly been my light during those times of darkness. You guys rock!

Pitch Black

I’ve been MIA for close to six weeks now.

And if it weren’t for the fact that my domain name was up for renewal, I probably would have stayed MIA for even longer. So thank you to Hubby (and to a few other folk out there who inquired about how I was doing) for pushing me to update this piece of cyberspace.

See, the thing is … I’m not quite sure to write about these days. Lately, nothing seems to inspire any urge to write. I’m sure I do have things to say, but it seems so trivial compared to what else is going on in the world. Or what else is going on in my life.

Between traveling for my job and spending a lot of our time in Detroit, I’ve hardly had enough time to catch up on all the TV shows we’ve had DVR’d since before Thanksgiving. So yeah … being in Chicago these past few days, I’ve spent my downtime watching my shows.

Now … is it me? Or does it always seem that when you’re going through something personal that the news or even certain TV shows seem to center around those personal issues? For instance, I’m sure a few of my IF friends can relate to the storyline surrounding Audrey & Jeff in “Rules of Engagement.” For me, it happens to be Marshall’s latest storyline in “How I Met Your Mother.”

As it happens, one of the first few episodes I “caught up” with following my Dad’s funeral was the episode where Marshall and Lily, who have been trying for the past few seasons to get pregnant, finally go to see an Infertility Specialist. Watching their trials to start their family have, at one time or another, touched that part of me that still mourns the fact that I’ve never been able to get pregnant.

But this episode … well, the ending definitely surprised me. That was when we find out that Marshall’s Dad had suddenly died from a heart attack.

Talk about art imitating life. Nothing could hit closer to home at that moment than the look that Marshall had on his face when he was told of the news. And as if I hadn’t cried enough over the past few weeks by that time, I found myself with big crocodile tears as the credits rolled by.

And since then, the episodes of “How I Met Your Mother” have somehow managed to make me cry in some way or another. Like the one where the gang tries to cheer Marshall up during his Dad’s funeral.  Or the one where Marshall was too preoccupied with trying to be the environmental lawyer that he had always told his Dad he’d be.

Then there’s the “Desperation Day” episode. Lily decides to fly out to Minnesota to be with Marshall on Valentine’s Day.  Marshall  had been back at his childhood home since the funeral  to “help” his mother adjust to life without his father. What Lily finds when she arrives is that Marshall’s way of “helping” included him experiencing a bit of “Revertigo.” In other words, he reverted back to the high school version of Marshall; he began to ask his Mom to do everything for him: make his lunch, do his laundry, etc.

During a conversation Marshall had with Ted (in the midst of playing old video games in his childhood bedroom), Marshall randomly turned to Ted and said, “I miss my father.” And Ted answered, “I know.”

Then Marshall relayed the story of a memory he had of taking long road trips with the entire family. And how many times he’d find himself the only one awake to keep his Dad company while he drove through the darkness of night. Marshall told him how he could never see anything in front of the headlights during those pitch black nights, but he always felt safe because his Dad was driving. And he was a superhero that could see way out into the darkness. But now that his Dad was gone, things are just pitch black … and he could no longer see anything in front of him. And he couldn’t see where he was going.

And that’s really what it is; I miss my father. I miss the simplicity that life was when I was back in high school … even if I didn’t think life was anything but simple at the ripe old age of 15. I wish I could go back to when I could sit in front of the TV and watch old reruns with my Dad asleep on the couch. I wish I could have him make his famous “Daddy’s Chicken Noodle Soup” on the days I was feeling sick.

I especially miss the car trips we’d make to London, Ontario (or even to the East Coast) to visit family … where I found myself the one who’d stay up with my Dad to keep him company. To sing songs on the radio just to keep him awake.

And now, I feel lost. Like Marshall, I can no longer see what’s in front of me; no longer feel the urge to do the things I normally like to do. Like knit or crochet. Or write.

But I know that this is normal; that I’ll eventually be able to put one foot in front of the other and move on. And I guess that’s why I’m making the effort to do those activities I’ve enjoyed in the past. The same ones that helped me work through the loss I’ve felt about Infertility.

For now though, I’m going to continue with my grief for just a little longer. Well … truly, I’ll grieve for as long as it takes me to grieve. But the point is, I know what I need to get back to in order to return to some sense of normalcy.

And I know that’s what my Dad would have wanted.

Uhm … Hello.

Well, I think I’ve finally turned the corner on this whole cold/congestion thingy. I’m not as wiped out as I was before, and my taste buds are finally turning back to normal.

Except now I think I may have passed it on to Hubby. Boo.

I’ve nothing exciting to talk about, other than it’s been over a month now that I’ve been unemployed. I’ve got a few interviews set up for mid-June that look promising. Plus I had a second interview for that other job I’m really interested. So at this time, there’s nothing to do but apply for more jobs and wait.

Funky Shot from Woodward Avenue last summer
Funky Shot from Woodward Ave last summer

I’m in a little bit of a dry-spell creatively right now. I’m not sure if it has to do with the overall funk I’ve been in lately, or if all the snot hasn’t cleared out of my brains yet. Either way, I’ve found nothing that has struck me inspirationally (is that even a word?).

When I get in these moods, I find that I end up either a) wanting to read a fluffy, no heavy-stuff type of book, b) mindlessly knitting a project that I probably will never end up finishing, or c) watching a lot of television.

This time around I’ve opted for “C.” At first it was because it was May “sweeps” with tons of season finales; but now that it’s officially June, I suppose I have no excuse.

One day was an entire day of watching Amazing Wedding Cakes. Another day was Cake Boss. (And it’s no wonder I’ve been craving cake since then … )

I should add a disclaimer here: Lest you be worried about me doing nothing else but watching TV, just know that I haven’t. In fact, most days the television doesn’t get turned on until 6 pm or later. Give me a little credit here, peeps! During the day, I am looking for employment!

Anyhoo … it seems of late, that there has been a running theme in what I’ve been watching. Or rather … themes , since one of those themes has to do with medicinal marijuana and how to get “licensed” in growing and selling such a product. But that’s not the theme that seems to be most prominent.

Lately, every show I’ve watched has touched on the topic about being happy with the job or career that one or another TV character has chosen. In each case, every character had either talked about doing something they’re more passionate about or spoke to someone else about how they previously had a job that didn’t satisfy them until they went into the career that they were in now.

I can’t help wonder if these TV shows are talking directly to me. Or, in the unemployment state that I’m in right now, I’m just more sensitive towards that topic. Either way, it has me questioning what I’d be happiest doing with my life; especially since the proverbial door is wide open right now.

One of my favorite Funky Shots

Except now there’s the worry of money. And health benefits. And food and shelter. And all the other necessities in life.

Oh, and let’s not forget I have no idea what I’d be happiest doing in my life. Other than lounging on a beach in Hawaii.

Hmmph. When did I start to become so responsible?

In any case, I’m hoping that I snap out of this creative funk soon. Maybe embracing my inner geek at WordCamp Chicago will help … well, it’ll help me jazz up my WordPress-powered blog, anyway. At least I hope it will.

What about you, peeps? What do you do when you get in a creative funk? And more importantly, what do you do to get out of a creative funk?

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Facebook Me!

Anybody that knows me or has followed me knows that Emily loves her Facebook.

It’s a great way for me to keep in touch with those family and friends that live elsewhere in the world and it’s a great way to remain informed with everyone’s daily life.

I’ve also discovered that it’s a great way to disseminate information readily to those interested masses.

While I primarily use this blog to write about my life and all the surprising twists and turns that life has provided for me, I’ve started to use Facebook to provide other useful information regarding all aspects of infertility.

As most infertiles know, it’s often difficult to discuss the heartache and pain of infertility aloud to others; even to those that you may be extremely close to. That’s because infertility has historically been a taboo subject.

Which brings me to the reason I started my Facebook Page.

My belief is that the more a person is informed about infertility, the more comfortable that this person will be about talking and educating others about infertility.

My Facebook Page has been a way for me to post valuable information and other interesting blog posts about infertility in the hopes that everyone remains informed.

Please … if you’re on Facebook (and even if you’re not), I’d love you to come visit my page. And I encourage you to start discussions.