Category: Small Victories

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A Folgers Moment

Hubby & I are back in Michigan for a few days; and I must admit that it’s good to be home. Especially after the past couple of weeks, post-employment.

Would LOVE this view with my Morning Java ...

I won’t lie. I’ve been completely stressed out over the unemployment issue. Between Hubby not getting paid in a timely manner (despite working non -stop on multiple jobs for the past few weeks) and me not bringing any income … we’ve been up late and night worrying about finances. And my job hunt has been painstakingly slow (well, at least in my eyes anyway).

So being in Michigan … and not having to be back to return on Monday to a non-existent job … has been nice. Minus the multiple loads of laundry we’ve brought back with us and cleaning up around the house we now consider our “home away from the city”, we should be able to relax … even for just a little bit.

We came home yesterday afternoon in time for Tyler’s Confirmation; where Hubby was given the honor of being his Sponsor. Afterward, we spent time at the In-Laws trying to convince Kairi that we were, indeed the same Auntie & Uncle she visited earlier in April. And after dinner, we spent time trying to sharpen Tyler’s Scrabble skills by playing a couple of games. So by the time we arrived back at our house, it was pretty late and it took all of a few moments before the dog was fed and we were in bed for the night.

Hubby & I crashed so hard that when the alarm I set on my phone went off this morning, I picked my phone up and “answered” it. And while I admittedly slept well in our wonderful non-IKEA queen-sized bed … I have to admit that I woke up feeling stressed. It’s as the minute my eyes opened, my mind bypassed neutral and went straight into overdrive.

Yeah. I’m that pitiful.

In any case, after a few moments of tossing and turning in bed I got up to take a very anxious Kozzy out for her morning business. After all, If I couldn’t calm myself down … the least I could do was calm Pacey McPacer down. So I took puppy-girl and headed out our front door. As she did her business next to a couple of bushes on our front lawn, I sat on our porch to take in the morning air. Then Kozzy decided to do the same thing; laying on the grass to bathe in the morning sunshine. It was … the most relaxing moment I’ve had in a looong time.

And because I had to share the moment with my best friend, I went back in and grabbed Hubby. We sat there for a spell, taking in the sights and sounds of a beautiful Sunday morning and absorbing the tranquility of our surrounding. No trains passing by in the distance, no traffic down the street … no taxis honking at the cars in front of them. Other than the sounds of birds chirping and the slight breeze passing by, it was so quiet.

A Couples Massage would be nice right about now ...

Unfortunately, we had places to be by lunch so we reluctantly went back in. Even Hubby agreed that it was a nice calming moment … saying that the only thing that would make it better is if we could go to the spa and get a massage**. And I couldn’t have agreed with him more!

But wow … what a perfect way to collect our thoughts and start the day. If I could find away to capture that moment and relive it every morning, I totally would. But then I guess this wouldn’t be a moment I’d be able to treasure forever.

I wouldn’t be able to document my own personal “Folgers Moment” …

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** The irony? Our Kozzy-girl is the one with a Spa Day. She gets to go to the groomer tomorrow and get a bath and her nails trimmed … or, as I’ve been calling it, a “Pedi-Pedi”! Is it wrong that I’m jealous?!

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How I Spent Mother’s Day

In years past, Mother’s Day would have been a difficult day. Yesterday was less difficult than the previous years; less traumatic.

I contribute it to the fact that Hubby & I weren’t physically “in town” to celebrate Mother’s Day with our respective Moms and his sister. Not that I didn’t like going out, typically for brunch, every second Sunday in May … it’s just that the day has always been a painful reminder of what I’ve never achieved in life.

I mean seriously; even at Mass. Any Catholic Church I had ever gone to on Mother’s Day always always always have all the mothers and pregnant woman stand up before the closing prayer to pray over them. And every year, I would glance around the church to see which women remained seated like me.

Don’t get me wrong … such a prayer is much deserved for all the under-appreciated hard work and unconditional love that a Mom provides to their children. But for every year that I was not “included” in these prayers, the less I felt “connected” to those women who would stand proudly as they received these blessing. The less I felt as if I were a part of that “sisterhood.”

Hubby, the "Cat Burglar"

The less I felt blessed amongst other women.

This year, Hubby & I spent Mother’s Day in Chicago; opting to call both sets of Moms and wish them the Happiest of Mother’s Days. And afterward, settled down on our couch to watch a marathon of movies on TV, starting with “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”** and ending with “Sweet Home Alabama.”

And this year, instead of getting all weepy over the twenty zillion Mother’s Day commercials that ran during the TV breaks, Hubby & I would have fun poking at the sometimes fake sentiment that these ads would portray.

This year, as Hubby & I sat on our couch, feeling completely unmotivated to do much but cook meals and take our puppy-girl on an extended walk to the beach, I felt completely blessed .

Because although I remain separated from the ever-elusive “Mommy” Sisterhood … I know I’m blessed with an incredible Husband and parents/siblings, as well as 3 four-legged creatures that look to me as their Mom.

So yeah … that’s my small victory for the day. I turned my Mother’s Day Frown upside down. (Pretty positive for a currently unemployed person, eh?)

Me, surrounded with two of my three furbabies

** LOVE that film. And check out what star, Nia Vardalos, says about her experiences as an infertile on Mother’s Day.

Hubby with Rain (Yami's on the window sill and Kozzy's on her rug next to Hubby)
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Westward Wind

Well, I was right. Today’s small victory was that I made it out of bed today … especially since we didn’t get home from our midnight screening of Iron Man 2 until about 3 am this morning.

Oh wait … I said that I’d be out of bed this morning at a decent hour. Yeah. That didn’t happen until … well, let’s just say it was after noon.

Although, I do admit that Hubby & I took turns trying to calm our dog Kozzy down from all the horrible lightning and thunder that started after we got home from the movies. Our poor girl … she totally hates thunderstorms; and this morning’s storm was a wicked one.

This commercial makes me crack up. Every. Time!

So yeah, that’s my excuse for climbing back into bed at 9 am and staying in there with Hubby until well past noon.

Let’s see … real accomplishments. Hmm … started to follow Ferris Bueller on Twitter? Managed to eat an entire bowl of fettuccini alfredo? Cashed in a coupon for a free beverage at the Border’s Cafe?

Okay … seriously. My real victory today was finally realizing that I could look for jobs in whatever city Hubby & I would like to live. I mean realistically I knew this, but to actually put it into action and start applying outside of Chicago or Michigan? Yeah … that only started today.

Where are we looking at? Well our dream has always been to live in Hawaii … but even *I* know that’s not feasible at the moment. (Plus, there weren’t many RN Case Manager jobs out there. I should know; I checked!) But we’ve also had the dream of moving out to the West Coast. Seattle or Portland, to be specific.

Probably more Portland, if I was being honest. After all, moving to a big city like Chicago where I’ve been exposed to a handful of … ahem … back-stabbing, career-driven people, I’m finding myself a little more hesitant to move to another big(ger) city like Seattle.** And Portland just seems to be more “our pace” and our lifestyle. So yeah … living in the “Rose City” (or in its vicinity) would be right up our alley.

So imagine my surprise when I found a few jobs out that way that would fit my current career path. So I’ve now gone about and applied for them.

Who knows what will become of those applications, but at least I can say that I’ve tried. And if nothing ever does come out of it; well then maybe moving out west isn’t what’s in our cards at the moment.

But we will make it out west one day. We will follow that proverbial “Yellow Brick Road” out to Portland or the “Emerald City.” Because that’s our dream … our goal. And it’s always good to have a goal in mind, right?

Yep; trying to remain positive amidst all of this chaos.

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** Perhaps this is just reflective of my ‘tude at the moment after being “burned” by this place … Otherwise, I know that I love this city.

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The Wicked Don’t Rest

Lest you think I’ve been resting on my laurels** this past week, I’ve been actually quite productive.

Apparently a "laurel" is a flower

Well, okay … except for the first few days where, I guess you can say, I was storing up my reserves. Yeah. That’s what I was doing.

<Quickly throws piles of tissue on bed and sofa into the pockets of her pajama bottoms … >

Seriously though, Monday morning I spent some time sorting out some paperwork and making a few important phone calls. And Tuesday, I spent the day updating and rewriting parts of my resume.

Yesterday was spent online all day searching for jobs that match my career history and filling out tons*** of applications. And today … well, it’s slowed down a bit; but at least I put more out there.

The other important thing I did was update my LinkedIn page. Oh, and ask for some recommendations from previous peers. Hopefully this will come in handy in helping me, at the very least, get some interviews.

And then there's THIS Laurel ...

So that, my dearies … is my small victory of the day.

Tomorrow’s? Most likely getting out of bed at a decent hour; seeing that Hubby & I are treating ourselves to a midnight showing of Iron Man 2.

Hey, gotta have some fun now. Don’t I?!

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** What IS a “laurel”**** anyway?!

*** Okay, I exaggerate a bit. Maybe more like a quarter-ton.

**** Huh. Just found out that the “laurel” referred to in the idiom is interpreted  as an achievement. Guess I haven’t been resting on them; seeing that unemployment isn’t exactly an “achievement” to be proud of …

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More Flopped than Flipped

The story of my life ...

There’s no other way to put this than saying that I’ve suddenly found myself unemployed. Without going into details, my whole world has … as the title of this post suggests … as been turned upside down. Once again.

But I’m trying my hardest not to feel weighted down, as if I’m falling down that rabbit hole of darkness.

Oh, who am I kidding? A week ago today, I fell. And I fell hard. But now I’m trying to climb out of that hole and not let all those negative thoughts pile up on me; like they did for years and years.

It’s funny how one big “fall” can trigger certain negative thoughts to resurface. And when I mean all … I mean all ; especially those illogical and irrational ones. For lack of better explanation, let me give  you an example of my train of thoughts lately:

“I’ve lost my job because I wasn’t <insert negative adjective> enough.”

… quickly turns into …

“I’m just not a good person.”

… Then that turns into …

“And because I’m not a good person, I don’t deserve good things in life.”

… which then turns into …

“I don’t deserve to be a mother.”

Yep. When I alluded to all negative emotions … I meant all . Even those ones that I thought I might have resolved over the past year.

As Hubby pointed out to me this past week, when things get bad I tend to pile everything up into one big ball of negativity. And instead of thinking about what “good” I’ve done in my life, I pile on  — no, I shovel on — all the “bad” dirt on top of the hole that I already fell down into. So for the past week, I’ve been trying desperately to unravel that tangled ball of yarn … dig out of that hole I’ve started to fill up … that has totally messed up my mind.

I’m much better today. Obviously, since I’m finding myself able to write about it now. But catch me three or four days ago, and I didn’t even have the energy to read my emails or screw around on Facebook. And we all know how much Emily loves her Facebook.

Having Hubby’s support, as well as both sets of parents and siblings, has been my saving grace. If it hadn’t been for them, I think I might have begun to believe those irrational thoughts about me being “bad.” And it’s because of an idea that Hubby came up with last night that I’ve decided to pick up my pen — er, laptop — and write (type?) again.

That idea? It came from a blog that Hubby, in his “design world”, stumbled on. This site, as the writer explains, is all about the small victories in life. And as Hubby has told me time and time again, I need to remember those achievements that I’ve made … especially when things get down and, well … dirty.

If I HAD to be hung out to dry ... let it be on a beach

So this will be my goal. In the course of the day, I will try to find a small victory I’ve conquered. And I’ll continue to do this every day until I find a new job. (At least that’s the plan … )

Because right now, I think I need to wrap my own set of “Apron Strings” around myself. I need to find some of my own happiness in any little victory I can.

Oh, and my small victory for today? I turned on my laptop and started blogging again.

If you’re interested in reading the “whole” story, feel free to email me or comment below and I’ll send you the password for the following PWP-post. It’s not the same one that I’ve used before. **

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** For obvious reasons, you’ll also find that any previously un-PWP posts related to work also share this same password.