Identity Theft
Since I’ve been blogging a lot recently, I’ve been trying to make an effort to “socialize” more. I admit that I am decent at writing posts, but not so great about commenting on other reader’s posts or comments in regards to my posts.
If it makes anybody feel better … I’m pretty much consistent with responding on Facebook and Twitter!
Anyhoo … I’ve been trying to read and comment on those blogs of people who I’ve been following since the beginning and who have followed me through those difficult years. There are three gals that I wish we could all get together in the same room and just shoot the sh*t; two I’ve met IRL and one … well, she has always been such a bright spot in my day.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve met and have gotten pretty close to those other bloggers out there; it’s just that these three gals … well, I think there’s just something about them that seem to tie us all together (had to get one last February NaBloPoMo theme in … even though it’s March). And even though our shared bond was/is infertility, this friendship seems to have gone beyond it. So even though I had “disappeared” there for a bit (I blame no one but myself), I’m trying to make sure I keep these friendships up.
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I’m also branching out and trying to “socialize” with new bloggers. In the midst of writing daily, I’ve noticed that I had more “followers” and “lurkers” than I thought I did. (Thank you WordPress Blog Stats!) So yes, I’ve been trying to follow these bloggers and comment on their posts as well.
One of those new bloggie friends wrote a post about stigma and “spoiled identity” as it relates to her life and her struggles with infertility. And as I read her post, I realized that I had never quite described that feeling of social isolation and exclusion as being stigmatized. Or that feeling of not being able to contribute to conversations about child-rearing or pregnancy as being “socially discredited.” But that’s exactly what had happened in my IF journey.
It’s funny how I can learn new things, new perspectives from others going through what I had already gone through. Which, when going through my journey, I would have probably found any new point of view either comforting … or annoying.
Comforting, only if the person shared my same point of view or emotions. And annoying, if the person brought up something that hit a little too close to my soul … and sometimes (quite honestly) below the belt.
But reading these new perspectives now, after coming to terms with my own journey, they’re … well, refreshing. And, given what I learned today about my identity during that journey, I’d like to think I’m still learning about my IF journey, even if I’m no longer on that path.
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These three “original” IF friends … we’re all on different journeys now than when we first “met” via our own separate blogs. One of us is currently pregnant and two of us are currently off that crazy train called infertility. And one … well, one is at a point in her IF journey where I was at for so long. But despite the fact that we’re no longer on that shared path of IF, we’re still in a shared journey together. We’re still trying to provide support to one another.
All of us have been stigmatized by infertility. All of us have been robbed of the “identity” that we thought we’d have by now. All of us have experienced the feeling of being excluded (whether purposefully or not) from certain baby-related conversations or events. Yet all of us have managed to find comfort from one another. All of us have managed to forge a NEW identity amongst ourselves … outside of our infertility.
Because even though we may have had / still have a “spoiled identity” amongst other people in our own real lives, we’ve found that amongst us … our opinions matter. And our voices are allowed to be heard.
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Daily Random Act of Kindness: Let’s see; today my “good deed” for today was more of an exercise of patience. Let me set up the scene:
When I left work on Friday, it just happened that one of my team members was not very happy with the outcome of a conversation I had with her and the rest of my team earlier in the afternoon. Now, historically … this particular team member is known to hold grudges; and before I could approach her about the issue again last Friday, she had left for the day.
Needless to say, I dreaded going in to work today; knowing full well that I’d feel the wrath of The Grudge. And sure enough, when I made my “morning rounds” to say good morning to my team, all I got from this team member was a grunt.
It took a few tries, but I finally got her to say more than five words to me by mid-morning. And by the afternoon, she was finally back to her normal self.
While I know I needed to resolve the issue with this team member (seeing as I had to continue working with her and, well … supervising her), I think — or rather, I feel that I went above and beyond (and definitely out of my way) to get her to come around.
So yeah. I consider the patience I had with this team member my good deed of the day.
Daily Gratitude: Today I am grateful for bloggie friends; both old and new. If it wasn’t for you … I think I would have totally lost my identity. But you guys … well, you guys have kept me grounded.
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On a completely (un)related note, today marks the first day of NaBloPoMo March. For those of you that aren’t familiar with what NaBloPoMo is, click here to read more.
The theme for March is Strange(r). So my posts can be about strange (or stranger) tidbits of information or situations or stories. Or it can be about strangers; as in, “Strangers in the night.” Yet again, it’s a vague theme which I’m not necessarily held to writing about. However, seeing that today’s post talked about complete strangers that have become close bloggie friends, and about new strangers that I’ve just met … it looks as if it fits into this month’s theme.
Much more to come in the following month …
The End is Nigh
Wow … I’m writing on the eve of my last daily entry for the month. The end is actually near! Can’t believe I survived yet another month of posting every day … actually, I can’t believe that I signed up to write for another 36 days until Easter Monday.
Eesh. I’m wondering if I have enough “Good Deeds” in me to last that long … As it is, I’m thinking that some of the good deeds I do are rather … lame or trivial. But I suppose doing something is better than nothing.
Today, Hubby & I slept in. Good G*D, it felt good to sleep in. And although I know that this is a luxury that most other people aren’t able to do (read: those with kids), I figure that this is something that I can at least add to the (very short) list of positive things that infertility has given me.
But that was last night‘s item of gratitude. Let’s see … what other thing about infertility can I be grateful for? Well, seeing that Hubby & I spent the afternoon at the grocery store … I guess I can say that I’m grateful that Hubby & I only have to worry about buying groceries for ourselves. Because somedays I’m just amazed how much two weeks of groceries can cost for just two people. Imagine if we had more than our two mouths to feed? As it is … our dollar is stretched tightly these days. Or as one of my co-workers said, “There’s still too much month at the end of our money.”** So yeah … that’s what I’m grateful for today.
Good Deed? That one’s a toughy today. Probably mostly because I’m (if you can’t tell by now) not exactly in the most “giving” mood today. And I suppose if I had to name a “good deed” today, it would be that I withstood listening to a rather awful poetry reading group while at Borders tonight. (Boy, am I snarky today!) Don’t get me wrong, me love me some good cultural and creative vibe … and, if I was being honest, I’d say that a few were pretty good. But … well, yeah. I’ll just leave it at that.
One of the “readings” had to do with the whole “2010 End of the World” deal. Which, given the fact that I just mentioned above that *I* had another “ending” in site, is rather funny. (Babbling, I know. But I’m talking about NaBloPoMo for February.) But as this guy talked about wars and earthquakes, I couldn’t help but think of the most recent events of late.
Like today … the earthquake in Chile. And the Tsunami warnings for Hawaii and all the other Pacific Islands (including the Philippines). Or even the recent iceberg collision that caused one of them to break off a huge piece into the ocean; which may cause, what some scientists believe, a disruption in the ocean’s circulation and therefore disrupting marine life.
Just over five years ago was the major tsunami in India. In 2007, there was the glacial lake (in Chile, of all places) that completely disappeared. Even when we went to the Canadian Rockies two years ago, we saw with our own eyes, how much the Crowfoot Glacier had melted.
Then there was last month’s devastating earthquake in Haiti; of which a team member of mine lost family in that tragedy. And just two weeks ago, an earthquake here. In Chicago.
I’m not a firm believer in the whole 2012 theory that the end of the world will be on December 21st of that year. However … I do think that something will happen that will cause the world’s population to change in some way. Whatever that “thing” is … it will probably require a major paradigm shift in the way that the world operates today.
Because seriously … at the rate that these devastating events are coming***, I just might have to expect swarms of locusts followed by the Four Horsemen.
Okay, depressing post done with for the day. Let’s hope for a better one tomorrow.
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** Sadly, it’s the end of the month (a short one, at that) and POOF! All that money’s gone. <sigh>
*** Anybody else notice how more and more frequently these “natural” disasters are coming at us?!
Oh NUTS!!
Proton Pack Day #2. Except today I was remotely putting out fires from home; which definitely had its challenges. But ask me if I minded doing it from home, and I’d tell you that I would find a way of putting up with the challenges in order to take advantage of this benefit. It’s just too bad that I’m limited to working from home only one day a month. Boo …
Anyway, because I worked from home today I did not have much opportunity to do any new Random Acts of Kindness. Instead, while taking my puppy-girl for an extended walk (after my work day was done), I once again spread some goodies for the Chicago wildlife. Well … the birds and squirrel variety, anyway — none of those “back alley” city wildlife.
Squirrels are funny creatures; more so, it seems, in the city. Hubby & I have had the conversation before about how squirrels in Chicago seem just a bit different than squirrels back in suburban Detroit. First of all, the colorings/markings on Chicago squirrels are remarkably greyish-brown; more of a hodge-podge of various squirrel colorings. And then there are those suburban Detroit squirrels, which tend to be either reaaallly brown or black.
And because I grew up in suburban Detroit in the decade following the 1967 Detroit Riot and during Coleman Young‘s five terms of Mayor (both circumstances that contributed to the massive segregation between city and suburbs, caucasian and non-caucasian), it’s a silly observation that Detroit squirrels should be so … well, black and white. Add to the fact that up until the last decade or so, it was rare to see a black squirrel past Eight Mile Road* … that’s irony at its best!
But regardless of ra- … I mean species , the big thing that we noticed about city squirrels and “country” squirrels*** is the personalities. Suburban squirrels (at least in all other areas of the Detroit area other than Ann Arbor) are rather timid. They are easily frightened by anything and everything. Whereas, their cousin, City Squirrel just loooves to come up to anyone or anything … especially my dog.
You know, the same dog that has anxiety issues? And totally gets nervous/aggressive when other pets are around? Yes, City Squirrel loves to antagonize her. (My poor Kozzy-girl … ) They love to stand in direct path of her and make clicking sounds in order to get her attention. And then they looove running away the minute Kozzy starts pulling on her leash and barking at them.
Some days it’s absolutely hysterical. And then there are days, like today (as I tried to feed them), that it’s downright frustrating!
(Remind me again why I was trying to feed them? Oh yeah, for my daily Lenten *good* deed … NUTS!!)
As for what I’m thankful for today … I guess because we’re quite tight in the wallet lately, I’m grateful that I have food to put on our table and food to feed our pets. While City & Suburban Squirrel can probably scrounge off the land (they’re raised to do that) or fill their tummies with scraps given to them by suckers like me, at least I don’t have to go further than the closest grocery store to get mine. And how about all the other people I see in the streets of Chicago? The ones asking for spare change just to get food? The same ones that are grateful for any leftovers that other humans give to them? That just makes me even more thankful that we have what we have.
Okay … that’s it for the night. Think I’m going to crash now, so that I can be prepared to fight more fires tomorrow. <sigh>
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* Yes, that IS the road that is referenced in the famed Brian Grazer/Eminem** movie. This road in Detroit is literally (and figuratively) the dividing line between city and suburbs.
** Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon: I have a friend who actually went to HS/Middle school with Marshall … well, at least until he dropped out!
*** Remember City Mouse and Country Mouse? Meet their kissing cousin, Suburban Mouse! LOL!
