Category: First Gen Asian-American

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Fleas On My Dog

No … there are no fleas on my puppy-girl, Kozzy. Actually, this is the way that my co-worker sings the Christmas carol, “Feliz Navidad.”

“Ah … now I get it,” I can hear y’all chuckling. But what does this Christmas carol have to do about Thanksgiving … other than the fact that today (or tomorrow, how ever you want to look at it) is the “official start” of the Holiday season?

Well, funny you should ask. Last year at this time Hubby & I, along with my parents, were on a Caribbean Cruise. One of the days was spent in Cozumel, Mexico where, as we stepped off the “boat” all I could hear throughout the plaza was that Christmas carol. And just the thought of hearing a Mexican Christmas Carol while in Mexico … it just had me in hysterics.

Anyway.

It’s about 8:00 am on Thanksgiving morning. Hubby’s getting some much needed sleep in the bedroom while I’m on the couch typing away on my lappie. I’m still getting these horrible coughing fits, but for the most part I’m feeling much better. Although, I have this feeling I’ll be losing my voice by the end of the day today. Damn sore throat.

Plans for today include lunch with my parents after the traditional Filipino Thanksgiving Mass. My parents asked us if we were going to attend; in which I promptly said that this morning was the only opportunity for us to unwind before another busy weekend. Which, in a sense, is the plain truth. But I also just honestly don’t feel like having to deal with the inevitable social conversations that involve Filipino acquaintances commenting on our child-less status. Seriously, there’s only so much of this an infertile can take … even if it’s been more than ten years! But seriously, it should be a nice sit-down lunch with my parents at the local Italian restaurant.

What?! Did you just say restaurant?!

Mmhmm. Yes. Emily, with or without the apron strings, is not exactly that great of a cook. And quite frankly, while I can do a turkey dinner, it just doesn’t seem to make much sense to do so when it’s only going to be the four of us. Oh, I suppose I could invite Hubby’s family and the other members of my side of the family … but then that would mean 20+ people in our home which, at most is only comfortable to fit five around the table. So yes … turkey lunch at a restaurant with my parents.

But don’t you worry, we’ll still have the traditional turkey fixin’s. At Hubby’s parents house. Later tonite. Where YAY! I get to see my nephew and niece. And BOO! Might not get to hold niece because of being a bad sicko.

So overall, busy day. But one that will be spent with family. After all … isn’t that what holidays are about?

Oh, and technically this is also supposed to be the day to express gratitude … so, without further ado …

Things to be extra-thankful of this year:

  1. An incredible husband who takes care of me when I’m sick (and we’re talking both physically and emotionally), and who has been my rock for the past 12 years.
  2. Loving and supportive parents who understand the reason for upcoming changes
  3. IRL friends and co-workers (not to mention bosses) that have also been supportive and excited for my upcoming change in employment
  4. Extra-wonderful pets … who have no idea what changes are store for all of us, but who are always willing to snuggle with me and give me some furbaby love
  5. An incredible online group of friends who have weathered with me during some of THE MOST difficult times in my life over the past year

    And last but certainly not least,

  6. God for giving me back a little bit of faith in this world. That somehow when one door closes … another door opens. Even though it might not be the door that you were hoping would open.

Happy Thanksgiving, Blogland!!

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Dim Sum of Nuttin'

Ack. So I’ve been doing good in the blog posting lately … I still can’t believe I’ve done a post a day for now 17 days. Actually more, as I posted a few a day before the month officially began. But in the process I’ve neglected posting comments. And that’s really because I haven’t honestly been reading so much lately. In fact, my Flock reader bar has filled up to more feeds than I can possibly read in one setting.

D*mn. And I had been doing so well for a while.

Brother & Sister
Brother & Sister

Seriously though. Where the heck did the month go? I still can’t believe that a week from this Thursday is officially Thanksgiving. Which, of course means that the Holiday season is literally around the corner. Except, I swear the stores seem to think it’s in full swing. And let me tell you, hearing the holiday music all over the frickin’ place is annoying.

Worse even is that it’s only mid-November and there’s snow on the ground. Well at least there was early this morning. Ugh. This is Michigan … which, unless Mother Nature plays another trick on us, means that we’ll be seeing snow until early April. That’s five months of seeing snow. Almost half a year. Ugh.

It’s not that I don’t like snow. It’s pretty to look at, pretty to play in … totally sucks to clean up after, drive in, deal with stupid drivers and salt trucks. But hey … this is life in the Great Lakes state.

img_58161Moving on to something else …

Hubby was asked by our nephew to be his confirmation sponsor. So today, we went to mass at our nephew’s church where they asked the candidates and their sponsor to commit to this Catholic sacrament’s process. Afterwards, we had gone out for some dim sum at a local Chinese restaurant. Lots of yummy dumplings and noodles later … Hubby & I were sitting around holding our niece, who amazingly slept all throughout mass and pretty much all through lunch. But alas, she open her little eyes to us and was being her utterly adorable self.

If I could only find a way to duplicate her and take her twin home with me …

img_5810

Okay, this is all I can manage for today. Until tomorrow …

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Show and Tell: Doin' De-butt

showandtellI actually posted this on Saturday. And really, since I’ve been out of town, I didn’t have a chance to post a Show and Tell this Sunday. So instead, I’m updating this post to make it this Sunday’s Show and Tell.

Presenting … my youngest cousin’s cotillion. Or what we call, a “Debut.” In my case … it’s de-butt! 🙂

And make sure that you peruse the other Show and Tell posts this week!

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Whew. This was a busy week.

Monday was spent catching up on the events that happened over the weekend. No … not the “social” aspect of last weekend (although I might blog about that another day). Working as an RN in the health care industry, the work never stops. Even when working for an insurance company. So as the phone calls and faxes came furiously all day Monday, there was little to no time to rest. And given that our company was closed for Election Day … well, I wanted to get everything from the weekend done by the end of Monday, so that Wednesday, I could work on everything that came in from Monday and Tuesday. So basically, my work week was spent trying to catch up from the previous couple of days. I. Hate. Work Weeks. Like That.

Yep. Me at 18. At my Debutt. With a few of my Cousins.
Yep. Me at my Debut with a few of my cousins; the same year my youngest cousin was born

Tuesday, obviously Election Day. Hubby & I tried to stay up to watch the results come in, but ended up falling asleep in bed with the T.V. still on. I swear, one minute (oh, let’s say around 11:30) Obama had 207 to McCain’s 148 (or something like that …) and the next, it’s 11:55 and the news reporter on the T.V. announces that they’re waiting for the new President-Elect Obama to give his victory speech in Chicago. And then the next minute it’s 5:30 in the morning and the T.V. is off. I’m guessing that Hubby finally turned it off when finally going to bed. Or, I turned it off in my sleep haze and don’t remember doing so. Either way, I’m seriously bummed I didn’t get to hear Obama’s speech.

(Sidenote: A week prior to the results of this election, I received one of those mass emails from one of my parents’ friends about how a vote for Obama would mean a vote against G*d … or something along those lines. And since then, I’ve been getting these “replies” from people that I don’t even know either agreeing or disagreeing to that first email. Today … I got one with this article attached to it. Grr …

And here's the Cousins 18 Years Later!
And here's the Cousins 18 yrs later!

Wednesday was obviously a repeat of Monday morning. And we all know what happened on Thursday.

Now yesterday … yesterday evening was fun. It was my youngest cousin’s cotillion. In the Philippines, it’s customary to celebrate a girl’s “coming of age” by having a “Debut” party when she turns 18. (Think “My Sup.er Sw.eet Sixteen” with a two year delay.) I had a variation of one; more of a combination of a graduation / birthday party, all while wearing a fancy shmancy dress. My youngest cousin had, what I consider more of a traditional Filipino cotillion; complete with the white ballgown, the 16 or 18 person “Cotillion Court”, and the ballroom dance routine.

She Could Be Princess Jasmine!
She Could Be Princess Ja.smi.ne!

Oh, and did I mention that her party was more elaborate than my wedding?! Uh, yeah. So much that when we got the invitation in the mail … I thought that it was actually a wedding invite! Even the banquet hall was complete with a “head table” (for my cousin and her “Court”) and chair slipcovers with baby blue satin ribbons to match her “theme.”

And the cake … !!

But really, the best part of the party was, once again, being with my cousins. One came from as far as California just to celebrate with us. And the fun that ensued was beyond incredible. As tired as I was from the past work week … I wished we could have spent more time together. Perhaps one day we’ll be able to do the “girl cousins” cruise we planned that night!

(Another Sidenote: If you ever want to see a great example of a traditional Filipino cotillion … not to mention an excellent example of growing up Filipino-American, go rent “The Debut“. It’s so “on the nose” that it totally freaked even Hubby out!)

The Wedding ... I mean Cotillion Cake
The Wedding ... I mean Cotillion Cake

And today? Well, today I’m finally getting a chance to relax. Hubby & I took a trip to Chicago for an extra-long weekend getaway. A much needed getaway. We’ve been busy nonstop with various activities since Labor Day and just wanted to have a moment together without any distractions. And when we got a most excellent deal on a Downtown Chi-town hotel, well we snapped up the offer. So as I type, I’m lying in our wonderful king-size bed watching my Hubby snore next to me. Oh, and I think he’s getting sick, too.

But I’m seriously okay with that. And to tell you the truth, I almost half-expected him to get sick. After all, he has had little to no sleep over the past weeks. And this is his body’s way of telling him that taking care of himself is just as important (if not more) than any other business he has.

Besides, then I wouldn’t have time to write this post.

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Crouching Dragon Lady

Well … For those of you that have read my last PWP post and commented or emailed me personally, I very much appreciate all that you’ve said. There were definitely points that were brought forward that I haven’t thought about in my angry haze, and for that I am grateful. All of your words definitely made me stop long enough to breathe in some fresh air rather than breathe out flames of anger.

I’m still trying to decide what I want to do with this blog. Don’t know if I want to continue to post on this blog, or if I want to move elsewhere. I’ve already got another blog site all set if I decide to move, but for now I think I will continue to just PWP those posts that I assume would “hurt” other people.

Which (okay … one last b*tchy statement and I swear I’m done for now … ) just still gets my goat (goad?) Because seriously, while I understand sometimes words do hurt … by having to “censor” myself … well, it just makes me feel like I shouldn’t be “allowed” to express how I truly feel. Like I have to “butter up” my words (or rather kiss a$$) just to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. But G*d forbid that I’m not allowed to have my own feelings hurt!

Woops. I believe I just got side-tracked from what I was originally going to blog about. Now what was I saying?! (Ugh. Mind is in a haze …) Oh yeah. In one of the comments I received, there was a statement that I feel I need to clarify. Actually, there were two:

There was a comment indicating that I’ve made this particular relationship into a competition. That I “think” that my loss is “bigger” than this other person’s loss. Or that this person’s life is much “better” than my life. I’m “saying” this loud and clear … it has NOT BEEN ME that has focused on this part of our relationship. To me, I have never thought that one person has it worse or better than the other. To me A LOSS IS A LOSS … it doesn’t matter how small or large the loss is, it still hurts like h*ll. As I’ve (obviously not-so clearly) mentioned in this post, I never wanted this relationship to be a competition. All I wanted was the support.

Which leads me to the second point of clarification …

I want to clear up the statement I made about not considering Hubby & myself a “family unit.” It wasn’t that I didn’t think Hubby & I were a family. No, I was more irritated at the way the envelope addressed. Because that action was just a very passive-aggressive way to include me … and yet to not mention me by name. It was a subtle dig (whether consciously or unconsciously) to let me know that I was still on a certain person’s sh*tlist.

Yes, I know Hubby & I are a family … we’re a family of two; which is how it has always been. Especially as we have been going through this infertility journey alone. And that’s in sharp contrast to what our Filipino culture is supposed to be. As a “family” (which ultimately includes all immediate family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), we’re supposed to be supporting each other, fighting for each other, holding each other up when another person in the family needs it most. And while I feel as if I’ve done my fair share (and sometimes above and beyond) of support, I just don’t think it’s ever been reciprocated, leastwise from this particular person. At least in the way that I wish it would. The way that I’ve done for others.

Truth be told, I want someone to speak up for me when I’m tired of giving explanations. I want someone to fight for me when someone says something inappropriate. Or at least diffuse a potentially uncomfortable situation. And I want someone to hold me up when I’m weak from having to do all those things mentioned above.

Tell me the truth people … if YOU held someone up at one (actually two) of their most difficult times in their lives; if YOU fought battles for people when you felt they couldn’t fight any more; if YOU put aside your own uncomfortable feelings in order to support someone that you knew needed it … wouldn’t you hope that when YOU needed the support, these same actions would be returned?

I suppose I’ll get the responses like … “Well, you can only expect to get what a person is willing to give.” Or “some people aren’t built like that.” And I can honestly say that it’s taken me over twenty years … but I’ve finally accepted those answers. I might not like it and may still b*tch about it from time to time (in a PWP post, of course) … but I accept that I shouldn’t expect anything more from this particular relationship.

With that said … I want to share an article with you that a co-worker thought I could learn from. I enjoyed reading it and … who knows? Maybe it’s lessons will come in handy in the (very near) future!