Spare Parts

I actually started writing this post on my iPhone on the drive from Chicago to Detroit. Ah … The wonders of modern technology!

Click on to the picture to find out about this "store front"

Typically on the 5-hour drive, Hubby usually gets the “honor” of being behind the wheel. And there’s something about his driving that usually lulls me to sleep. But today, despite staying up late last night and putting in a six-hour work day, I’m surprisingly wide awake. Maybe it’s the Real Fruit Berry Slushie from the Sonic in K-zoo? Nah …

In the past, whenever we’d go on long road trips, Hubby & I would make it an event. We’d stack up the CD’s and pack some snacks and have so much fun. And in between Van Morrison and CCR songs** Hubby and I would have these incredible conversations about our life together, our future, and our hopes & dreams.

Not that we still don’t have awesome conversations now on our round-trips between Chi-Town and Motown; it’s just that they don’t always happen during every trip … Especially with Hubby’s uncanny ability to make me so nice and relaxed when he does the driving.

And because those conversations were really in the earlier years of our relationship, there was more to find out about one another. There was more about us, as individuals, to share. There were more dreams of the ideal future to discuss.

There was none of those shared worries or disappointments. There was no shared heartbreaks for futures that weren’t realized. There was only hope.

It’s because of those things that these awesome conversations happen less … But when they do, they are so much more exciting and fun.

Today, Hubby & I had one of those fun conversations. Since learning more web apps, he’s been dying to either a) start up and design his own blog, or b) take my blog and move it to my own domain so that he can have all the fun in playing around with it while designing it. Now I’m totally for Option B here*** but I’d also love to see Hubby write his own blog as well.

Anyway, a couple days we were trying to come up with potential names for his blog. Unfortunately, we never came up with any that would “stick.”

Today on the drive to Detroit, I came up with a name that I thought would make for a great new blog title … For me. Except when I told Hubby about it, he thought that I was talking about a blog title for him.

The title? “Spare Parts” which would have been great for an infertile living child-free like me, who still has all her lady parts. Except … well, except they just don’t work. So yeah. Spare. Parts.

Hubby, on the other hand, thought that I was talking about a blog name for him, where he’s just the “spare part” to me. In which  he proceeded to say to me, “What does that mean? That I’m so old and broken? And that I’m replaceable? For newer parts?”

He was serious, and yet I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Of course not,” I told him. “I was talking about myself!” and then I explained to him the reason I came up with the name.

But that still didn’t stop Hubby from calling himself as “Spare Part” for the rest of our drive home. Or referring to particular Hubby behaviors as a “Spare Part” behavior. Like, for instance, the fact that he has a tendency to ask multiple questions at one time as “Spare Part questions.” Or heading in the wrong direction towards the freeway as “Spare Part directions.”

Later on that night, as we were closer to home I told him that he was irreplaceable. That there was only one Hubby for me. And if anything, I was the one who was replaceable … with my broken parts.

And of course he told me that *I* had no spare parts; that I was perfect the way I am. Most importantly, he told me this: The two of us separately can be seen as “spare parts.” But together … well, that just makes us whole.

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Now … for my daily Lenten activities:

Today’s Good Deed: At work, I had scheduled a vendor meeting for my entire team (not my first choice of days during the week). This, unfortunately meant that my telecommuters had to come in to the office for the day. Hubby gave me the brilliant idea of bringing in some treats for the team. So we stopped off at Dunkin’ Donuts on the way to the office and picked up a dozen donuts; for no other reason other than to celebrate that it was Friday and that we were all together in the office. The best part? As I stepped out of the elevator, three of my team members were waiting to climb on to go down for a morning snack. And guess what they were going to buy? That’s right peeps … donuts! Hubby obviously had a sixth sense about stopping for this particular snack.

Today’s Gratitude: Every time we go back to Metro-Detroit, we make it a ritual to meet up with our friend, J. And of course, we try to meet up at our favorite local tavern for some good burgers. Tonight was no exception to our meet-up, but … being a (questionably) good Catholic, I refrained from eating meat on a Friday during Lent. (I know! What restraint!!) I may have mentioned in previous posts that we consider J one of our closest friends; so today I’m grateful for this friendship and the incredible conversations we have whenever we get together.

So that’s it for today … it’s actually quite late as I’m finishing up this post. Truth be told, it’s already Saturday early morning … but since I technically didn’t sleep yet … this is still Friday’s post. And that’s how I’m going to date it.

So there. <sticks tongue out>

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** Because there’s something about those classic rock songs that just make you wanna sing them at the top of our lungs while driving long distances …

*** Hey, why not?! It’d be relatively free for me!

Rearly Used

Quick note tonight, and it will be all about my Lenten promise. Too busy working on a presentation for work. <sigh>

 

"Oh. My. God, Becky ... Look at that butt!"

So without dragging it on …

Good Deed of the Day: Apparently my ba-donk actually has a use. Well, other than keeping my tush all cushy. In the lunch room at work today, and as I was heating up my lunch … I heard an exasperated sigh behind me. As I turned around, I saw a poor soul was trying to get her pack of M&M’s she just bought from the vending machine. As I looked closer, I could see that the M&M’s were hanging on the metal coil that held them in place until it was purchased. Of course neither of us had change to buy another pack, so we did the next best thing … which was to bang on the vending machine. When that didn’t work, I did my best hockey hip-and-butt check to knock it down. And down went the bag of M&M’s. So yeah … form and function!

Thankful Thought of the Day: Because it’s been sunny for the past couple of days (and the forecast for the weekend looks the same … ), I am so grateful that it’s officially 16 days left of winter. I am SO ready for spring!!

That’s it for the night everyone. Have a <yawn> … Oops, sorry. Have a wonderful night!

Proud Pet Owner

There’s this high school in Chicago with an  incredibly large lawn right down at the end of our street. It kinda like the “old skool” schools that remind me of Rydell High from “Grease.”

Official Clubhouse for the DEC

In any case, the huge lawn of this school also serves as a dog park. It comes in pretty handy when we’ve gotta take our Kozzy-girl out for her “business.” But not so great when there’s a whole gaggle of other dogs out there as well.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, our Kozzy is not exactly the most socially adept dog. Both with strangers and with other dogs. With us, she’s the sweetest affable dog around … but with others, she’s such a nervous nelly; which in turn makes her aggressive. So yeah, she’s not exactly welcomed at the dog park.

In fact, Hubby & I have a name for the group of pets and their owners. We call them the DEC. Or the Doggy Exclusive Club. Of which Kozzy & her owners are not members.

But thanks to unyielding patience on both our parts and the help of tips from watching “The Dog Whisperer,” Kozzy has made a breakthrough tonight. That’s right, peeps; I think Kozzy actually made a doggy friend. And it happens to be this fluff-ball of a puppy that belongs to the family in the apartment building a few houses down. It’s a good thing this furball is the antithesis of Kozzy; he’s friendly and verrry non-aggressive. So much that Kozzy actually let him sniff her and let Kozzy sniff him … all without any growling or barking!

I KNOW! I was sooo amazed!

Of course, after that … I just had to test out the DEC. And, unfortunately … the amount of pets and pet owners at the park must have overwhelmed our Kozzy. Which, of course, resulted in Kozzy being overly anxious and overly aggressive. But … at least I managed to calm her down before heading back home.

Despite that little hiccup at the end, I am so proud of my Kozzy-girl. It’s taken awhile, but I think she’s finally adjusting to city life!

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And now for the Daily Lenten Special:

Good Deed Du jour: The first Wednesday of the month is typically “Free Inservice Day” at work. It’s where our Clinical Trainers arrange for some sort of vendor to come out and present on a healthcare-related topic. With that comes free Continuing Education Units (CEU) to keep up with our Nursing License and Certification for Case Manager. Oh, and lunch is usually provided as well. However, the amount of food that’s provided is usually waaay too much for me to eat in one setting … so I tend to either share it with someone or bring it home.

Today I decided to give the other half of my chicken pita sandwich and cookies to someone else who needed it. And that would be the homeless guy that happened to be sitting outside of the Borders Bookstore on Michigan Avenue. I’m sure this guy probably gets a lot of handouts throughout the day, but at least I know that I’ve given food to someone who could use it.

And here's my Kozzy-girl!!

Gratitude Du jour: Even though I already expressed gratitude for having Kozzy in our lives; today I am thankful for all the things that having to care for Kozzy has taught me. While patience is the number one thing that Kozzy has taught me, there’s another important lesson I’ve learned for her. Because of Kozzy, I’ve learned how my emotions and moods affect others. With humans, it’s not as blatantly obvious to see how an anxious or bad mood can affect other people around you.

With pets … dogs, in particular … they can pick up on emotions right away. If I’m happy and excited, then chances are Kozzy is the same. And when I’m angry or anxious … well, you bet that Kozzy starts exhibiting her anxiety. And because of this exercise, I’ve learned to be more conscious of how my disposition affects others. So thank you Kozzy, for that lesson.

The Not-So-Good Wife

Grams from “Dawson’s Creek” has come along way. So has Carol Hathaway from Cook County’s “ER”. Come to think of it, so has Mr. Big … well, actually he’s just a recurring special guest star.

Yeah, amongst the other TV shows I’ve picked up this year is NBC’s “The Good Wife.” Now, I admit that I started watching it because I’ve always loved Juliana Marguiles since her days on ER. And I must admit that I like seeing the Chicago skyline on the small screen. What I didn’t realize until I watched the season premiere was that this was a lawyer show. And me love me some lawyer shows.

It must be some inherent need for me to live vicariously through these shows. Or maybe it’s just that Hollywood makes it look so glamorous. But regardless, I love listening to lawyers debate. Well, at least in court; where there’s a formality to their arguments.

You see, I’m not good at arguing. In fact, I’m pretty bad at it.

Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Oh, I can hold a conversation and find logic in arguing a point. I can even concede if the opposition has a strong rationale for their position. But throw emotion into it? Well yeah, then I’m a mess. And let’s face it, unless there’s that formal structure for debate … when isn’t there a situation where emotions eventually come to play?

So yeah. I suck at arguing.

I have no other reason for bringing this point up other than the fact that I love Juliana Marguiles’ character on “The Good Wife.” Somehow her character, despite her own personal mess, always manages to find a way to keep her emotions in check. And I really wish I had the talent to do that.

Guess that means I better cross “lawyer” off the list of possible new careers …

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And now … back to the task at hand.

Random Act of Kindness: I can’t believe I actually did this; especially since some days I still feel like I’m still a “tourist” in the city of Chicago. But yes, I *actually* managed to give restaurant recommendations to some visitors attending a conference in the nearby Hyatt Regency. I stumbled on the poor souls on my way out of the building this evening and they just looked so pitifully lost. So I took it upon myself to ask them if they needed any assistance … and, yeah … little ol’ me managed to help them. Yee-haw!!

Because only a "Good Wife" would put such a *great* picture of her Hubby ...

Thanks & Gratitude: Can I tell you how much I love my Hubby? Not only does he drive me to work everyday (so I don’t have to feel all rushed and exhausted just getting to work), but he also manages to meet me every day at the El Station with our Kozzy-girl just so he can walk me home. AND … the poor guy is so awesome that he not only cooked dinner tonite (and most nights) but he also cleaned the cats’ litter. And if there’s any chore I hate to do the most … it would be cleaning that litter. So thank you VERY MUCH, oh dear Hubby of mine. Much much love from your Not-So-Good Wife.

Identity Theft

Big "L" for Lame Blog Friend

Since I’ve been blogging a lot recently, I’ve been trying to make an effort to “socialize” more. I admit that I am decent at writing posts, but not so great about commenting on other reader’s posts or comments in regards to my posts.

If it makes anybody feel better … I’m pretty much consistent with responding on Facebook and Twitter!

Anyhoo … I’ve been trying to read and comment on those blogs of people who I’ve been following since the beginning and who have followed me through those difficult years. There are three gals that I wish we could all get together in the same room and just shoot the sh*t; two I’ve met IRL and one … well, she has always been such a bright spot in my day.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve met and have gotten pretty close to those other bloggers out there; it’s just that these three gals … well, I think there’s just something about them that seem to tie us all together (had to get one last February NaBloPoMo theme in … even though it’s March). And even though our shared bond was/is infertility, this friendship seems to have gone beyond it. So even though I had “disappeared” there for a bit (I blame no one but myself), I’m trying to make sure I keep these friendships up.

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I’m also branching out and trying to “socialize” with new bloggers. In the midst of writing daily, I’ve noticed that I had morefollowersandlurkers” than I thought I did. (Thank you WordPress Blog Stats!) So yes, I’ve been trying to follow these bloggers and comment on their posts as well.

One of those new bloggie friends wrote a post about stigma and “spoiled identity” as it relates to her life and her struggles with infertility. And as I read her post, I realized that I had never quite described that feeling of social isolation and exclusion as being stigmatized. Or that feeling of not being able to contribute to conversations about child-rearing or pregnancy as being “socially discredited.” But that’s exactly what had happened in my IF journey.

It’s funny how I can learn new things, new perspectives from others going through what I had already gone through. Which, when going through my journey, I would have probably found any new point of view either comforting … or annoying.

Comforting, only if the person shared my same point of view or emotions. And annoying, if the person brought up something that hit a little too close to my soul … and sometimes (quite honestly) below the belt.

But reading these new perspectives now, after coming to terms with my own journey, they’re … well, refreshing. And, given what I learned today about my identity during that journey, I’d like to think I’m still learning about my IF journey, even if I’m no longer on that path.

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These three “original” IF friends … we’re all on different journeys now than when we first “met” via our own separate blogs. One of us is currently pregnant and two of us are currently off that crazy train called infertility. And one … well, one is at a point in her IF journey where I was at for so long. But despite the fact that we’re no longer on that shared path of IF, we’re still in a shared journey together. We’re still trying to provide support to one another.

All of us have been stigmatized by infertility. All of us have been robbed of the “identity” that we thought we’d have by now. All of us have experienced the feeling of being excluded (whether purposefully or not) from certain baby-related conversations or events. Yet all of us have managed to find comfort from one another. All of us have managed to forge a NEW identity amongst ourselves … outside of our infertility.

Because even though we may have had / still have a “spoiled identity” amongst other people in our own real lives, we’ve found that amongst us … our opinions matter. And our voices are allowed to be heard.

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My version of "The Grudge"

Daily Random Act of Kindness:  Let’s see; today my “good deed” for today was more of an exercise of patience. Let me set up the scene:

When I left work on Friday, it just happened that one of my team members was not very happy with the outcome of a conversation I had with her and the rest of my team earlier in the afternoon. Now, historically … this particular team member is known to hold grudges; and before I could approach her about the issue again last Friday, she had left for the day.

Needless to say, I dreaded going in to work today; knowing full well that I’d feel the wrath of The Grudge. And sure enough, when I made my “morning rounds” to say good morning to my team, all I got from this team member was a grunt.

It took a few tries, but I finally got her to say more than five words to me by mid-morning. And by the afternoon, she was finally back to her normal self.

A "Robert Smith" version of me in HS

While I know I needed to resolve the issue with this team member (seeing as I had to continue working with her and, well … supervising her), I think — or rather, I feel that I went above and beyond (and definitely out of my way) to get her to come around.

So yeah. I consider the patience I had with this team member my good deed of the day.

Daily Gratitude: Today I am grateful for bloggie friends; both old and new. If it wasn’t for you … I think I would have totally lost my identity. But you guys … well, you guys have kept me grounded.

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On a completely (un)related note, today marks the first day of NaBloPoMo March. For those of you that aren’t familiar with what NaBloPoMo is, click here to read more.

The theme for March is Strange(r). So my posts can be about strange (or stranger) tidbits of information or situations or stories. Or it can be about strangers; as in, “Strangers in the night.” Yet again, it’s a vague theme which I’m not necessarily held to writing about. However, seeing that today’s post talked about complete strangers that have become close bloggie friends, and about new strangers that I’ve just met … it looks as if it fits into this month’s theme.

Much more to come in the following month …