Category: My Tribe

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Ain't No Party …

… Like a Dee-troit Party, ’cause a Dee-troit Party don’t stop!

These days there’s not too much to be proud of when you tell someone you’re from the Detroit area. First of all … despite the fact that we are NOT the Murder Capital of the U.S. (that esteemed title goes to New Orleans for 2008), people still seem to equate Detroit with crime and violence.

And then there’s the whole Motor City deal. Yes, we’re the birthplace of the modern automobile. Yes, we make gas guzzlers. Yes, we’re a city that’s literally dependent on fuel. That makes for a harsh economy, especially with many people losing jobs and a bad housing market.

Oh, and of course there’s the whole mayor fiasco, which I won’t even begin to rant about here.

So … when good things happen in Detroit, it’s always something to be proud about. And the fact that our sports teams are doing incredibly well right now is definitely a source of pride.

Now, I have to admit … I like blaming the fact that I’m a sports nut because of my husband. I always tell people that I never knew in the six years of dating Hubby that he was such a big sports fan until after we married. And that because of him, I started getting into our sports teams.

That is not true. I fully admit that my fascination with watching professional sports started early in life. From watching Tigers games at the old Tigers Stadium … to watching a very young Steve Yzerman play with the Red Wings at my first hockey game at 12 years old … to listening to the “Bad Boys” of the Detroit Pistons play in the NBA finals during my high school graduation ceremony in 1990. In fact … I can tell you with certainty, that watching sports is something that has bound my Dad and I together. And, of course, Hubby too.

Well, so for those of you that don’t follow sports … let me just tell you how proud I am to be a Detroit fan. Currently, the Red Wings are vying for the Stanley Cup. If they should win … our captain will be the first European-born captain to win the Stanley Cup. And the Pistons? Well, they’re currently playing against the Boston Celtics in the semi-finals for the NBA Championship.

And tonite? Well … I’ll be a little nervous. You see … not only are the Wings playing, but the Pistons are playing at the same time!!

D*mn. This is prime example of a Detroit party that don’t stop …

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UPDATE: And the par-tee continues … Wings won against the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-0. Pistons won against the Celtics 94-75. And both games were played AND won here in Detroit. Talk about a great day for the city …

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At Arm's Length

Yesterday I realized that my SIL is due in a little over three months. And while I spent most of her pregnancy with Liam wallowing in self-pity and anger, this time around I’ve pretty much “ignored” the fact that she was once again pregnant. And I’m once again not.

Okay, so I haven’t completely ignored the fact that SIL is pregnant. Yes, we’ve talked a little about it, but mostly to see how her baby was doing. Because I know how difficult it was for her to go for so many tests, especially after she had found out that Liam would be born with some “imperfections.” So yeah … I’ve tried to be there if she needed me.

Thank God she hasn’t. Needed me, that is.

Yes I realize how incredibly odd that sounds. Probably a little cruel, if I’m being completely honest. But there really is reason behind it.

First of all, her baby is doing well. And thus far, there’s no need for concern over the possibility of any major health issues for her OR the baby. So “being there” as a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to … as was necessary with her pregnancy with Liam … is not completely needed this time around.

And second of all, I’ve distanced myself purposefully for self-preservation. While I normally consider myself a kind person who is empathetic to most people’s individual situations, this time around I can’t be. Okay, so I do understand how scared my SIL probably is about this pregnancy, especially since it’s been just over a year since Liam was prematurely born. But I just can’t share those sentiments with her.

Because I’m not, nor will I ever be in the near future, pregnant.

Yes I could set aside that fact and just be 100% there for her. But as infertility is such a big huge ginormous part of who I am at this stage of my life, I simply just can’t let the sadness … the anxiety … the anger of not being able to produce my own biological child go.

So keeping myself at arm’s length during my SIL’s pregnancy is the best thing I could do for her. Because I don’t want her to feel my sadness. And I don’t want her to feel my anger. Because, quite frankly, she doesn’t need to focus on any of those emotions except making sure she brings a healthy baby into this world. This time around.

And once her baby is here … just like her other children both past and present … I hope she knows that (s)he will be loved by me. Completely.

I just need to survive the pregnancy.

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Down for the Count …

But like the Bozo Punching bag, I still come up smiling.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments and words of encouragement that y’all have given me. I truly do feel the love out there. It literally made me shed a few tears … knowing that I’ve got some really good internet buddies and IRL buddies (soon to be both … can’t wait!) that care as much as they do about my well-being.

Wednesday at work was extremely frustrating and … quite frankly … much too overwhelming to deal with. And after attending my weekly meeting for this work group, I decided to go home. Mentally, I could not even process what my tasks at hand were. What good am I if I can’t think?

So I wrapped up what I was currently working on prior to the meeting, shut down my computer and promptly told my supervisor that I wasn’t feeling so well and was heading home. And seriously, I wasn’t … I had this horrible headache (most likely Lupron-induced), my nose was stuffed (d*mn allergies) and I was actually feeling quite nauseated (most likely from just the negativity at work).

I slept away the rest of the afternoon. And boy, did I need that. Just the comfort of having my two kitties on either side of me as I lounged about was the best thing I could have done for myself. I totally needed to decompress.

So the next morning, I reinflated myself (but not necessarily my ego. I have self-esteem issues … can’t you tell?) and walked back into work with a smile on my face and my head held high.

Because seriously … whatever bad day / days I may have … however many times I get knocked down … I still have to somehow pick myself off the ground and come up smiling.

Thanks again for all your wonderfully warm wishes and sentiments. You. Guys. Rock.

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My Cousin, The Graduate

Yesterday, I stepped back into time. Back to 1990 when I was just a wee 17 year old graduating from high school. It was exciting to think about what my future held. I would be heading off to college in less than four months; living “on my own” in my dorm room, experiencing some freedom. Finally.

I mean, after all … I had just finished 12 years of Catholic school. Yes … twelve years. Don’t get me wrong … I am very appreciative of the education I was lucky to receive. And I truly do admire all the sacrifices my parents made to send both Dr. Bro and I to a private school. But to say that I left high school just a little naive about the world, is an understatement. It’s no wonder I turned out the way I do, feeling like I need to break out of my shell at all times, yet sensing the guilt that would inevitably follow.

So where am I going with this? Well, yesterday my youngest cousin just graduated from high school. The same Catholic high school that I graduated from eighteen years ago. Except these graduates were so much younger looking than I remember being. And they looked pretty wet behind the ears, too. But they were also full of energy and enthusiasm and so open and willing to experience everything in life. They were so ready to break out of their cocoon. And honestly … I couldn’t be more excited for them. For my cousin.

Because their life is just truly beginning. And what I wouldn’t do to be able to feel like that again …

Congratulations, Dear Cousin!
I am so very proud of all your accomplishments!