I knew when I decided to take on a new career path that I would be separated from him for at least two months. And I knew that we’d see each other on the weekends, as we both spent the time concluding business at our old place while moving into our new one. What I didn’t expect was that it would be so hard to say good-bye. Especially this first time.
Except it’s not good-bye. Rather it’s a “See you in 4 days.” But that doesn’t stop my heart from feeling as if it’s a ball of yarn unraveling as the distance between the two of us widens.
Since being married more than a decade ago, we have never been more than two days apart from each other … two and a half, at most. While I know many couples have survived in long distance relationships or cherish the time that they have on their own, we’re just simply not like that.
Christmas Eve shot
I’ve had it said to me that it’s “unnatural” that the two of us want to spend each and every moment together. That it’s strange that we enjoy all the same activities, or that we take an interest in whatever any hobby or activity that the other one decides to take up. I’ve even been told that perhaps his involvement in every aspect of my life is more of a “control” issue or a “possessive” streak in his personality.
The truth is that we’re just not a very sociable couple. Not to say that we don’t have wonderfully close friends or even closer family members. It’s just that we don’t tend to go out with other friends or couples a whole lot. Other than our hobbies and activities, we are very much homebodies. And we quite enjoy being as such.
So that is what makes this temporary separation much more difficult. At least for me; especially as I’m in a completely new and wonderfully strange environment. Because as excited as I am to be here, I just wish my best friend was by my side to experience everything with me.
As promised, here’s the rest of my reasons for disappearing from Blogland.
Hope everyone had a wonderful New Year’s Eve!!
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~
6. Rediscovered my love for big stage productions.
For our anniversary (back at the end of August), Hubby got us tickets to see “Wicked” at the Detroit Opera House. Let’s preface this by saying thatI’ve been asking to see this musical for years. It’s only until Hubby got the opportunity to listen to the audiobook version of the book that the musical was based on that he finally expressed interest in seeing the musical. Earlier this month, as I sat about 15 rows back and to the right of the stage, I realized how much the Drama Club-geek in me missed the excitement and wonders of musicals. Not to mention that the story itself and the songs were fan-f*cking-tastic! It makes me want to see the Chicago production before it closes at the end of January. Hmmm … perhaps I will get that opportunity! 🙂
7. Pondered the relationship between Siri.us and Jaco.b Bl.ack.
A while back, I started reading the “Twi.light” series by Steph.anie Mey.er. Except I never finished the whole series before the movie based on the first book came out. After seeing the translation into film, I had the incredible urge to finish the rest of the 4-book series … like, right away. And thus, I spent a good two weeks (in whatever spare time I had) completely immersed in Bel.la’s world. The sad thing? I was so disappointed on how the series ended. Seriously. Book Four should have ended when Bel.la “died.” And … Ren.esmee … WTF?! Her first name would have been better as Ca.rlie.
8. Attempted to decipher the “kids only” rule.
Ambushed by gifts ...
For Christmas this year, Hubby and I were told that the big “extended” family decided this year to buy presents for kids only. Which … hey, with all that’s going on with me … was perfectly fine. I wasn’t about to turn down the opportunity to save some extra money. Except … well, there was no clear definition of who was considered a “kid.” Seriously … did it mean anyone who was under 18? Did this include the adult “kids” of your own set of children? And really … what about those couples that don’t have kids? Is it fair to expect them to go home “empty-handed” just because they don’t have kids? And is it fair to expect the “childless couple” to buy presents for everyone else’s kids and have no one buy anything for them?
Okay, I realize I’m being petty here. But here again is yet another insensitive remark / action that “fertile” people may not realize is stressful for the infertile.
A solution? Perhaps include the childless couple on the list of people to buy for? It doesn’t have to be a fancy shmancy gift. A restaurant or movie (or hey … even a Target) gift card for even a small amount is always a lovely t0 give to us infertiles. Any small gesture to acknowledge that we’re simply not forgotten during such a child-centric holiday is verymuch appreciated.
Stepping off my soapbox now …
9. Rocked out until my joints hurt.
Rockin' Out to "Eye of The Tiger"
For Christmas, our good friend J gave me RockBand 2 for our Wii. Totally one of the best Christmas gifts I received this year! (Well except for the gifts that Hubby got me … which, he’s always been a great gift-giver in general.) Expecially since he’s the same friend that got Hubby & I the original RockBand for the two of us as birthday gifts this past July.
If you’ve never played this game and you love music … you must find a way to play it. I could care less which platform you use (PS3, Xbox, etc), you just have to try it for yourself. It’s so. D*mn. Addicting. Especially in any social situation you’re in. Like the surprise birthday party we attended this past Saturday for my Hubby’s aunt. All the kids were playing. And then later in the evening … there was a lot of “Drunk RockBand” going on with the “adults.” Waaay too much fun. So much fun, in fact, that the next morning wrists were hurting (from “playing” the guitar) and shoulders were aching (from banging on the drums). Ack … I must finally be feeling my age!
10. Facebooked until my face hurt.
I do admit it, I love Facebook. It’s yet another addicting internet activity that I could spend hours and hours on. Not that I’ve ever used it to cyber-stalk anyone … rather I use it to keep in touch with family members and friends in ways we never could before in the past. We’ve been able to share quick news bits with each other, post photos from events that we’ve been to … tease each other like we do IRL. I’ve found that Facebook had kept me close to those family and friends that are far away from where we live … and even those that aren’t!
Needless to say, during the Holidays I’ve been quite active with all my Facebook friends and family; sharing pictures, exchanging virtual “gifts”, and wishing them all the warmth and happiness in the world.
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~
So there you have it. The ten reasons for disappearing for a while. I still can’t believe it’s now 2009. And how, as of next week, I will be at my new job.
Of all things, Hubby & I picked today, the first of the year, to start the move to our new life. (Anyone else find that symbolic?!) Unfortunately, this means I will be having sketchy internet connection over the next week or so. Which means I will, once again, disappear for a little while.
But once I’m back, I’m sure I’ll have lots to say. Until then … I’m once again wishing you all a wonderful 2009!
WTF?! I simply cannot believe it’s already New Years Eve. I mean seriously … where has all the time gone? It seems literally like yesterday that I was finishing up on the November Nablopomo. But here it is, 31 days later and I’m still scrambling to deal with last minute end-of-the-year things.
Anyway, now that I’ve managed to have a slight breather in between holidays, I thought I might catch y’all up with what I’ve been up to. What, frankly … has made this past month go by in a blur. And what has prevented me from being able to sit down long enough to read and respond to my other bloggie friends’ blogs.
Except, that there’s so much that I didn’t get to blog about over the past month that I need to break it down into two parts. So without further ado … here’s part of “The List.”
As you guys have probably been wondering … (thanks for your wonderful thoughts and prayers, BTW) the Sts. Francis and Anthony came through yesterday afternoon. I would have posted sooner, but as it was … my mind was already on the fritz.
Like my poster?
After I posted yesterday, I ended up heading to the local office supply store and printing up a bunch of flyers made from my handy dandy lappie. And then I started handing them out to anyone I saw on the drive back to my house (all while randomly calling Kozzy’s name out to see if perhaps she’d respond). Well, so my next step was to go down our street to each of our neighbors and pass out the flyers. I got no further than four doors down when our neighbor told me that two women came down the street about an hour ago (probably when I was out making the d*mn flyers!) with a dog that look just like my picture asking him if he recognized this dog. He also said that they were planning on taking her to the local animal shelter if they couldn’t find the owner. So … after thanking our neighbor profusely, I set out to call our city animal shelter only to be told that there was no such dog matching her description there. However, the person I talked to told me to drop off a picture of her and she’d keep an eye out for my Kozzy. I had already planned on making the rounds of all the local shelters (including theirs), so there wasn’t more I could do until then.
Not more than an hour later, I get a phone call. From our city animal shelter. Apparently Kozzy WAS there earlier, but since they had just stepped in the door when I called earlier … they weren’t aware that this was the dog I was inquiring about. So I rushed over there and picked up our sweetie-girl. Who acted as if absolutely nothing had gone on. I told you she wasn’t the smartest dog. But … we love her to bits.
2. Got fingerprinted at local police office.
No … I did not get arrested and booked for breaking the law. Even though I know some people that may wish to see me locked up … the real reason my fingertips got slathered with black ink was so that I could officially submit my application for an RN license in another state. Oh yay! Now I can be added to a national database so that perhaps Gris.som on CSI can rule me out as a suspect on a homicide case.
3. Made an effort to exterminate a “rodent” problem.
Somehow methinks this statement might indicate that we have … ahem … unwanted “guests” in our house. Nope. That’s not the case. Actually, the particular “rodent” I’m talking about is myself. As in Emily, the Pack Rat. Let’s just say that between the two of us, Hubby and I have filled up eight extra-large garbage bags of stuff to donate to the local Sal. Army … and that’s just the beginning! I’m hoping by the time I’m finished, I’d have cleaned out at least 12 years of junk collected since moving into our house.
Pretty funny, considering the recent post I had about Hubby’s cousin loving his Legos. But no … the “Head Lego Designer” in this situation was Hubby. He was asked by his local Ad Club to design a poster for their upcoming Addy Awards and his idea was to create one made up completely of Lego pieces. It took us a few evenings in a row (not to mention multiple boxes of Legos), but we ended up completing one design. I think we could have come up with more designs, but we were limited in time AND in Lego pieces. Maybe we should have asked Hubby’s 8-year old cousin to help us out?
5. Remembered why I became a “skirt nurse.”
In the midst of Hubby & I working on this Lego poster, Hubby got sick. With the Flu. But not just the fever-and-chills kinda flu. We’re talking the stomach flu. The kind of flu that requires a bucket or bowl at the side of the bed. The same one that usually requires another person getting a cool washcloth for the sick person in question. And the one where the non-sick person ends up being the one to empty said bowl-slash-bucket in the kitchen sink. (Okay, let me clarify that. This typically only happens when the sick person is either a husband or a child … and rarely when the sick person is the wife or mom.)
In any case … being the “non-sick” person in this scenario reminds me of one of the things I absolutely hated about being a staff nurse on a hospital unit. Not that I didn’t enjoy taking care of the sick … but if there was one thing I hated more than any other nursing task, it would be cleaning up after someone has “tossed their cookies.” Weird, considering I can deal with (and rather enjoy seeing) “ickier” things. Like open gaping gut wounds. Why something as “natural” as any one person puking reaffirms my need to no longer “work the floors” is definitely beyond me.
And the kicker? Let’s just say that three days later, the bug decided to hit me, too. And just like I hate dealing with someone else’s upchuck … I hate dealing with my own. Because I hate being nauseated. ‘Nuff said.
So that’s the end of Part One. Stay tuned for Part Two … which should hopefully be out tomorrow. Maybe.
If not … here’s to wishing every single one of you a Happy New Years!!
With my feet in the air and my head on the ground …
Yes. That’s it. I’ve finally cracked.
Without going into complete detail just yet (and yes, I will expound on this at a later date), I have completely lost my mind.
And it’s because this morning, I have not only lost that brain of mine, but I lost my dog!!! To put it lightly, I’m totally freaking out right about now.
So if any of you have any pull with St. Anthony or St. Francis … please please please ask them to deliver my Kozzy back to Hubby and me safe and sound. She may not be the smartest dog in the world, but she’s our lovable, affable, silly Kozzy-Bear …
Wow. It’s been a whirlwind few months. Actually, it’s been quite a year. But we won’t go into that, as it’s documented quite well in these virtual pages.
What I really want to say, besides “Happy Holidays” and such is this. Thank you for everyone that has read my ramblings over the years. Whether you’ve commented or not, just knowing that there is someone out there “listening” to my hopes, dreams, heartbreaks and heartaches means more than you’ll ever know.
And my wish is that my writings, my sometimes incoherent babble … somehow touched you in some way. It could have been a silly comment that made you smile. Or an angry tirade that “spoke” those words you could never say aloud. Or perhaps an observation noted or a sentiment stated that precipitated a moment of genuine clarity as to the complexities of infertility or life as a first generation Asian-American.
In any case, I wish you and your family a Very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, a Peaceful Winter Solstice. May the warmth of this holiday season carry each and every one of you throughout your lives.
