Category: Musings

Posted on

Thirty Days of Thanks, Day Twenty

Spent part of my day outside today. That is, after spending most of it indoors at work. But at least I got to leave in the early afternoon.

My Mom and I went to place a grave blanket on my Dad’s grave this afternoon. We bought a bare blanket and spent some time decorating it with ribbons and bows. This is the first time we decided to decorate it ourselves and we actually had a fun time doing it. We did a fine job, if I do say so myself!

Afterwards, we went out for an early dinner and had some nice conversation. Overall, it was a great afternoon.

*******

So I’m thinking that Mom & I should make it an annual thing … something we can do together. Because there’s not much we do together.

It’s not that we don’t get along … it’s just that we don’t share a lot of the same interests or find a lot of things in common.

I wish we could … find things more in common. Which is strange to say, since she is my mother. We should have tons of things in common. But we don’t.

It’s one of those things that I shouldn’t do … but I blame part of it on the fact that I don’t have children.

(Yes, I’m bringing out the “Infertility Card.”)

We’ve never really had much in common, even growing up. But I always thought that once I had a baby, I’d be able to turn to my Mom for some “I don’t know what the h*ll I’m doing”-bonding.

And even if we didn’t always see eye to eye, I would put our differences aside if my kids wanted to spend time with their “Lola.”

But since the kids/grandkids thing isn’t going to happen, I want to find some way to bond with my Mom; to connect with her.

So maybe it won’t be bonding over what latest funny thing “Johnny” just did. Maybe it’ll have to be bonding over what we’ve lost together … her, a husband; me, a dad.

What am I grateful for today? The time spent with Mom, bonding over my Dad.

Posted on

Forty

I’m turning 40 tomorrow.

Yep, it’s a milestone birthday; one that makes you ponder what I’ve done for the past decade. And while I might not have done everything I thought I would in the past 10 years (you know get pregnant and start our family and all …), I know that I’ve done enough to make my 30’s a memorable decade.

Turning 40 seems like I should be turning over a new leaf. I should eat better, exercise more, be more financially responsible. It’s like New Year’s Resolutions, except in July. And I don’t know about you … but I tend to fall off the “Resolutions wagon” midway into the second month.

At least I get a whole decade to turn over this leaf.

Seriously though, I hope that my 40’s is a lot less drama and a lot more fun. I hope that Hubby and I continue to find new and exciting ways to live our child-free lives fully and not in the shadow of living childless. (I see travel in our near future!) So that’ll be what I aim for over the next 10 years.

Here’s to jumping feet first into my 40’s!

 

Posted on

Five Years

Did you know that both the traditional and modern anniversary gift for five years is wood?

Wood?!

Good thing we don’t celebrate anniversary dates with other people, because I’m pretty sure I’d be getting a lot of wooden bowls or cutting boards. Or wood statues …

Why am I bringing this up? Because today, my friends, is my fifth blogiversary. Or rather “Blog O’Versary” since it’s St. Patty’s Day. (Luck o’ the Irish to y’all …)

It’s funny, because my goal was to reach 500 posts by today. I figured … hey, why not celebrate two milestones at once.

Except, well … I somehow missed that 500 milestone about 11 posts ago. Amazing, considering I haven’t been writing much lately.

It’s been difficult, I must admit, to write lately. Work has me on a crazy schedule and I’ve had waay to many personal issues that I’ve been obsessing over lately. So that leaves me little time to sit and write.

Think I'll celebrate with one of these!

I’m hoping to make some changes in the next few weeks that will allow me to write a little more, but right now it’s just a glimmer of hope. So if the kind blogosphere could send a quick prayer up to the heavens above that this glimmer become more of a flame to light my way to a better change in my life, I’d very much appreciate it.

I realize I’m being vague about what I want to change, but I just ask that you stick with me and pray for the change that I need. If things do go the way I hope it does, then I promise I will tell you more.

Anyway, just wanted to write my little ditty for the week and … WTH … brag to people that I’ve managed to keep this blog alive for five years!

Thanks to all of you that are still out there reading … I can’t tell you (in words) how much it means to me.

Posted on

Soup for the Soul

When I was little, I would typically spend “sick days” at home with my Dad. Mom would work the day shift, while Dad would work the off shift. Such was the life of a dual-income family.

During those sick days, I’d typically be relegated to my bedroom to sleep off the illness that would’ve plagued me for a day or two. And if I was lucky, I would be allowed to lie on the family room couch and watch daytime TV.

The thing I remember most about those sick days was the soup my Dad would make for my lunch. He’d make this chicken noodle soup that I absolutely loved. And I knew I’d be feeling better if I’d ask for a second bowl.

It was a soup that only my Dad could replicate, much to my Mom’s chagrin. Eventually it became known as “Daddy Soup,” and I’d always request it whenever I got sick.

It was comfort food for me; the warmth of the broth soothing my sore throat. The chicken bits providing nourishment for an otherwise lackluster appetite. The egg added that made the it taste like egg drop soup with chicken and noodles … The “secret ingredient” that made Dad’s soup unique. All of it just reminded me of home. And of being cared for as a child.

I think about this soup at times when I miss my Dad the most. And I know it’s because I’m missing the comfort of my childhood when things seemed so much simpler.

Nowadays life seems much more complicated; so much more complex. While I know that’s just part of normal life, having this memory helps remind me that I was loved by my Dad and that I am still loved by those people who reach out to me … Especially during this particularly difficult time in my life.

I’ll just refer to these reminders as “Daddy Soup for my soul.”

Posted on

Nothing Important

Sitting and staring at the blank Word Document in front of me is kinda intimidating. I hate how the cursor blinks to the tune of the background music at the Caribou Coffee I’m currently sitting at.

I know it’s been more than a couple weeks since I last posted, but there hasn’t really been much of interest to write about. Unless you wanna talk about how hectic my last onsite visit for work was. But why would I want to bore you with that?

I could also tell you that I came SO close to seeing Jefferson’s Monticello estate during my last work trip. I even took the 20 minutes to drive there, only to be disappointed that I could only get to the visitor’s center … Which then would have required me to purchase a ticket for a shuttle to take me up to the property just so I could look at the building.

If I had the time, I probably would have done it. But as it was, I had already been teaching all day and I was exhausted by the thought of taking the extra time to buy a ticket to tour the entire property, when all I wanted to do was admire the structure. Plus I wasn’t feeling too hot.

When traveling, nothing sucks more than not feeling your best … Especially when you have to get up in front of a group of strangers and teach. But since there was no way of cancelling the class, I just did my best and hope that all the participants would stay engaged in our discussions. Lucky for me, they did.

So now I get to travel again next week and I hope that this cold has finally left my system. It will be another hectic onsite visit (large hospital, two different locations for each session, etc), but the best I can do is leave it up to God and my constant chanting of the Serenity Prayer.

Until next week …