So it’s been over a week now and other than close friends, I haven’t really expressed how I felt about the results of the Presidential Elections. Without a doubt, I am disappointed. It’s disheartening to know that a little more than half the country believe that a man found to be convicted of 34 felonies will once again be our President. This is a person that has bribed, manipulated, and lied (not to mention throw tantrums) to get his way. And it seems he has done it again. But I digress.
“The light of America’s promise will always burn bright as long as we never give up and as long as we keep fighting”
Kamala Harris November 6, 2024
If the Darkness is to Keep Us Apart
8 yrs ago this week I felt sad, nauseous, and anxious. This quickly lead to anger and resentment. I remember about a week after the election sitting in my shared office commiserating with my officemates when our good friend sat down to join in the conversation.
What she had said that day stuck with me. She said, “You know what? I’ve decided that I’m done being upset and angry.” I can recall myself looking at her dumbstruck. She went on to say, “We can’t change the outcome of the results, but I can change the way I respond to it.” When pushing her further, she added, “I just think I could either use all my energy being sad and angry and despondent. Or I could use it to do other things to change what I don’t like with our country.”
What she meant that it was better to focus on moving forward and, instead of being angry and resentful, find a way to use that energy and turn it into something positive. What she meant that it was better to focus on moving forward and, instead of being angry and resentful, find a way to use that energy and turn it into something positive.
If the Daylight Feels like It’s a Long Way Off
It’s taken me 8 years and an additional presidential election to fully appreciate what my good friend said that day. After the 2020 election, and the anger / resentment / hatred that resulted from the “Stop the Steal” movement, I understood the need to let go of resentfulness and anger. I understood the importance to move on instead of focusing on what “should have been.” That’s because 4 years prior to that was how I felt. It’s unfortunate that the other side never understood the concept of knowing when to accept the results and had a leader that continued to fan those flames.
And here we are now, 8 years later … feeling like we’re back to Square One. Some may even venture to say Square Negative One Hundred.
If Your Glass Heart Should Crack
Am I angry? Yes. I live in a country so divided that after elections, families and friends no longer talk to one another. A country where in public spaces, if you look, act, speak, have a bumper sticker on your car that offends another person you’ll get a major stare down from them. Sometimes a rude comment or an infantile gesture. Worse are the trolls on social media that feel the need to denigrate a person or community behind a smart phone or laptop. A country where the word “Patriot” gets thrown around so much, it starts to sound like a dirty word.
Am I sad? Well, yeah, but I’m not despondent. Not like last time where I seriously thought the end of days were near (though, if the Lions win the Super Bowl this season … ).
And For a Second You Turn Back
It will take time for everyone who voted for Kamala to heal from this loss, because it was such a big emotional loss for those of us with hope. Her campaign brought out something in the US that half the country (if not more) were searching for.
In an environment where everything felt consumed in darkness, Kamala lit the candle. She gave us reason to believe that there was still good to come from our country. That there were more people around us that were like-minded about civil rights and policies than we thought. She brought hope. She urged us to keep moving forward.
Yet even though she lost, I will fight to keep moving forward. I will not give up hope that there is more good in our country if we look hard enough and if we work together.
Oh No, Be Strong
So with that, I decided that this time around, I will be doing what my friend said she was going to do. I’m going to focus on staying positive and not be dragged down by the negativity and falsehoods of this Presidency. I spent more time during those years being exhausted and anxious. (Oh, don’t worry — not all of it from that poop head. He doesn’t deserve that much real estate in my brain.)
And then I’m also going to use all that positive energy to keep fighting for what I believe is just and right. I may be wearing rose-colored glasses, I know.
But it’s better than squinting to see half-truths and conspiracy theories; Better than wearing blinders and continue on with the status quo. Better than denying any wrongdoing at all.
Walk On, Walk On
“You have the capacity to do extraordinary good in the world.” … … “This is not a time to throw up our hands. This is a time to roll up our sleeves. This is a time to organize, to mobilize, and to stay engaged for the sake of freedom and justice and the future that we all know we can build together.”
A lot of people, including me, learned a new term after the Presidential Debate last week. For those of you that didn’t watch, the term “Sane Washing” was used to describe what happens when a certain someone — whose name I will not say — does or says something outrageous enough so many times that this behavior is deemed “normalized” or statements are seen as “fact” in society.
Take, for instance, the Holocaust. Today, there are many people that are in denial that the Holocaust even happened. Then why do some of the camps still exist as a living testament to what had occurred? Why are there women & men with numbers tattooed on their arms? What about all the memoirs written? All the stories of displaced and lost family members? Just because you weren’t there to witness it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You weren’t there during the Revolutionary War, were you?
But I digress.
Last week I posted something that was meant for fun on my dog’s Instagram Page. Yes, Kirby Krackel has his own celebrity page and personality and it has always been meant for fun, but sometimes “he” has stated some of his liberal views on his page. I had never received any complaints about it before until now. I’ll give you a second to read the comments and my reply to it.
Don’t believe the lies. Our pawrents RESCUED us and gave us a loving home. Our Grandpaws & Grandmaws are immigrants and they ADORE and SPOIL us. Why would ANYONE think that ALL immigrants are dirty & disgusting and resort to eating animals?
We hope that the next US Pawsident is just that: Pawsitive. We’re exhausted by all the doom & gloom we keep hearing. We want to hear GREAT things of the FUTURE of AMERICA … rather than just making it great again.
My intent was to leave the comment up there for others to read. What you don’t see is the immature, response he left following my reply which resulted in me hiding the comment. I ended up going one step further and blocked & reported the account for bullying as I had clearly stated that Kirby’s account was strictly for fun. Especially since I had the Freedom to do so.
I wanted to show this to the world to give an example of what Sane Washing can do. Regardless if this person had seen videos of this (I bet he could actually prove videos of Haitian immigrants in the US doing this), this person is spreading unconfirmed lies and “normalizing” what he/she heard from a person that was immediately told on national TV that the Springfield OH officials confirmed that there were no reports of animals being harmed.
I could go on and on about the homeless and illegal “dirty immigrants” part. About how Italians and Irish were also deemed as “dirty immigrants” when first coming to the US. Or how Asian Americans were brought over to *just* help build the Transcontinental Railroad or farm their lands for cheap labor but still be referred to as “dirty.” Or how African Americans were brought over illegally strictly for slavery.
Or even how the “illegal immigrant” Europeans brought smallpox to the “New World” which killed countless Native Americans and new settlements (-ie- immigrants) in the 13 original colonies. The point being is that all of our ancestors1 that came to live in the US were “dirty immigrants” (except for Native Americans) at one time or another.
Please know, that although I do lean left, I’m not saying that EVERYTHING that is said has been sane washed. I’m just asking that — before you cast judgement — make sure you get your facts right.
And because I refuse to give any more of my time or space to someone I don’t believe deserves more attention that he seeks for, I think this may be the last time I’ll speak of him until after November 5th.
Which could be as close as your parents or grandparents ↩︎
Can you believe it’s already June? As a kid, I remember loving this month. It always signaled the end of school and the beginning of summer vacation. The never-ending days of bike rides to swim classes twice a week and to the library on other days. To staying out late with friends until the streetlights went on and you knew it was time to come back home. And for many Gen X-ers, it entailed eating a lot of cereal or Eggos for breakfast and figuring out how to make mac & cheese or hot dogs or pizza bagels for lunch.
But we survived our middle school, early 80’s years. And we thrived. Without video games (until Atari was readily available for us) or cable (until MTV was in every household). And God knows there was nothing close to internet social media at that time … unless you had a pen pal from another state or country.
One Man Come In the Name of Love
Maybe I was just a naïve 10–12-year-old Filipino American Catholic school girl (there was no such thing as “pre-teen” back in my day), but I feel like everything was just so innocent back then. Sure, there was crime (McGruff the Crime Dog anyone?) and kidnapping (“It’s 10pm, do you know where your children are?”), but it doesn’t seem as pronounced as it is today. It could be from the 24-hour news cycle. Or the internet. Or social media. But geez, I feel that if I was at that age today, I’d be overwhelmed with too much stimuli.
So yeah. It’s JUNE. And what does the month of June mean today, in modern times. Pride Month … or as I’ve seen multiple people post on FB: The most uncomfortable month of the year for homophobes.
Do you know why June was chosen as the nationally recognized month? It’s in reference to the Stonewall Riots that started in the early hours on June 28, 1969. The Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village NYC was a popular restaurant and bar for gay men and those on the fringe in the late 60’s. In that early morning in June, a series of spontaneous and violent protests against the NYC police who raided the Stonewall Inn erupted. This was not the first uprising among the homosexual community and the NYC police in the past, though this one lasted for several days.
One Man He Resist
Today the Stonewall Inn has been named at as the defining moment of the Gay Rights Movement in the US and around the world.In 1999, Clinton initially declared June as Gay & Lesbian Pride Month. Twelve years later in 2011, Obama amended Pride Month to include the whole LGBTQ+ community.
On June 24, 2016, Obama also designated Stonewall Inn, Christopher Park, and the surrounding streets as Stonewall National Monument, making it the first US National Monument dedicated to LGBTQ+ rights.
And so now is the time I start to reflect on why this month is special to me …
We try to get down to Ferndale, MI during the first weekend of June every year for Ferndale Pride, Michigan’s Largest Pride Festival. Unfortunately this year I had to work, so excuse Kira for being in “fake” Pride gear
One Boy (Girl?) Washed Up On An Empty Beach
It’s amazing how far along this naïve Fil-Am Catholic school girl has come along from her sheltered life since those middle school and high school days. Especially when it comes to diversity in the rainbow sense of the word. I mean, I knew what “bakla” meant (feminine male, gay in Tagalog), but to talk about sexual preference was always (still is for many first gen Fil-Am kids with their parents) a taboo subject. (More on this in a separate post.) There was no such talk about “coming out of the closet.” It wasn’t until living up at Oakland University that I became more comfortable talking about sexual orientation and identity. I mean, that’s what college is for, right? Expanding your horizons and learning more about life?
One of my best friends from Nursing School came out to me a year after we graduated. When he did, I was incredibly happy for him, but I was not at all surprised. I had a strong suspicion he was gay, but I figured he’d tell me when he was ready. In fact, I think he was more surprised at my reaction than I was with his announcement. I remember telling him that I had a feeling all along, but really thought nothing of it, which was the honest-to-God truth.
One Boy (Not) Betrayed By A Kiss
To me it had nothing to do with what his sexual orientation was, but rather what his character was like. And he was that kind, funny, neurotic, immensely smart and sharp-witted type of guy that was THE best type of friend and “war buddy” you’d want to survive Nursing school. This is the type of lab / study partner that went deep in the trenches of clinicals, care plans and bedpans. He went headfirst alongside you and picked you up or dragged you when you needed it … and you would do the same when he needed the swift kick in the butt. He’s also the same guy that would drive in a blizzard to pick me up for clinicals only to find out that our university had called a “Snow Day” for the first time in decades. And the same guy who would NEVER ask questions when my roommate and I asked him to drive us somewhere in his VW Golf. He’s also the same guy who I’d drop anything I was doing if he needed my help. Even if it has been 20+ years since we’ve seen each other.
In The Name Of Love
Being in Nursing, I’ve had the privilege of working, meeting, and caring for people from all walks of life: of all different ethnic / social / economic backgrounds, of any gender identity or sexual preference, whether someone is homeless or an immigrant or even both. The point here being is that none of this matter when it comes down to the individual. In Health Care, that makes sense – it’s a whole team of people working TOWARDS a person’s health goal, whether it’s to improve, to maintain, or even to accept.
Except, why doesn’t everyone’s individuality matter when it comes to things even more important than health? Let’s say … like marriage, housing, religion, or any type of services otherwise provided to cisgender heterosexual people? What if these same issues were happening to your loved one; your child, for instance? Would your religion – or rather your FEAR – keep you from being present for them?
Would YOUR pride stand in the way of accepting YOUR loved one just the way they are?
THAT is the point of Pride Month. It is NOT – and I say this because I hear this EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. – meant to throw one’s “gayness” or “queerness” into the rest of the world’s face. It’s to celebrate the fact that every person, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation is allowed to freely express their individuality with PRIDE.
What More In The Name of Love?
We had nosebleed seats, but was able to catch U2 during the The Joshua Tree 20th Anniversary Tour
Here. Hold my Asian American Teacup Part Five: Last post in my ongoing series about Asian Americans (Part One begins here)
If there is anything “good” to come from Asian stereotypes, it’s that most Asian ethnicities practice (for the most part) patience and respect for others; they believe that family is important above all else (with maybe the exception of religion). Perhaps it has to do with China being one of the oldest civilizations in the world that this trait had passed on to each ethnicity, but there is no doubt that certain mindfulness techniques (meditation, yoga, tai chi, for example) have derived from these Asian practices. [i]
I find it ironic that Western culture has latched onto these techniques; with gusto over the past several years, may I add. Yoga studios everywhere. Tai Chi being offered at Community Centers. Mindfulness techniques through meditation (think Headspace, Insight Timer, Calm). Which I think is a good thing; we all have to find a way to cope with anxiety and stress.
Then you have movies & TV shows, where they make (or in some cases remake) movies without using the appropriate actors. Hollywood has been notorious for “white-washing” many characters that should be Asian.
The release of the movie version [ii]of “Crazy Rich Asians” in 2018 was the first movie since the All-Asian, English-speaking cast of 1993’s “The Joy Luck Club.” That’s a 25-year difference and should give anyone an idea of how much Asian disparity there is in Hollywood-produced films.
Marvel Studios faced criticism from Asian Americans when Tilda Swinton was cast as The Ancient One in “Dr. Strange.” Whereas in the Marvel Comics, The Ancient One is a Tibetan man living in a hidden village on the Himalayan mountains. Swinton’s portrayal; however, is believed to be an androgynous Celtic woman.
There’s the casting of Scarlett Johansson as the main character in the Japanese manga & movie, 2017’s “Ghost in The Shell.” David Carradine’s “Kung Fu” series that ran from 1972 to 1975.[iii] Or the 2015 movies “Aloha” which stars Emma Stone as Allison Ng in “Aloha.” And “The Great Wall” where Matt Damon is depicted as the “white savior.”
As for the OG “Karate Kid” movies, I must say that – as 80’s as it was – at least they got the ethnicity correct (Japanese) with Mr. Miyagi. But the same can’t be said for the remake. That movie was based in China, when Karate is Japanese. Although, these days English-speaking individuals tend to use Karate for any or all Asian martial arts.
The most reviled “yellow face” in movies is Mickey Rooney in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” Mr. Rooney was cast as Mr. Yunioshi, the bumbling “oriental” (there’s that word again!) of Japanese descent. Time period or not, there are still recent movies utilize something called “Orientalism“(a whole litany of that word!).
By definition, Orientalism is the way the Western world perceives Asia; where the concept of one’s ideas of an Asian person both exaggerates and distorts the Asian culture to define the differences between their white culture. It’s seen as a means to reinforce the positive image that non-Asians have of themselves while – at the same time – portraying Asians as odd, baffling, and sometimes barbaric. It’s a notion that the Western world is the epitome of humanity and that their morality, progress, power is superior to no one else. They see the Eastern world as a direct opposite of their “New World” ideals.
That said, patience and respect is something that all Asian & Asian Americans are taught at an early age. We are taught to respect our elders and recognize “hard work” as a way of success. We are taught in a subtle way to practice empathy; though it usually is disguised as being called “selfish.” [iv]
High School Graduation (with honors, of course)
Most first-generation Asian Americans are taught that we should assimilate to American culture. Many of which were never taught their native language (<waves hand>) for fear that it would confuse (in my case) Tagalog with American English. In the case of many half-generation Asian Americans, they may be old enough to understand and/or speak in their native tongue. However, many are taught to only speak English at home; to practice the language to sound less like a foreigner with an accent. [v]
In particular, first-generation Asian Americans are taught to not “make waves.” That we shouldn’t cause a scene or make an issue about actions or behaviors that would ostracize their family and/or their culture. Meanwhile, in American culture, making waves is something more like making progress and/or change. [vi]
For those reasons (and many more), Asians & Asian Americans are seen and referred to as the“Silent Minority.” By definition, silent minority is a small number of people within a demographic group, or even the entire group (in this case, Asian & Asian Americans) who do – or rather will not – express their opinions publicly.
By doing this, the Silent Minority individual(s) choose to disassociate themselves from other groups (other ethnicities including Caucasians) on any hotly debated issue such as political or religious discussions, for example. They choose to be an inactive bystander by remaining neutral and not siding with either end of any particular topic.
In other words, it’s seen as a reason not to “rock the boat” while simultaneously showing that they are willing to assimilate to the American culture in order to be accepted.
There is another term that coexists with Silent Minority; one that likely encompasses what their silence is hoping to achieve. “Model Minority“ is defined as a minority group whose members (let’s say in this case, Asian Americans) wish to achieve a higher degree of socioeconomic or professional success in order to prove they are willing and able to be part of mainstream society.
For example, they strive for higher education believing that this will result in a prominent profession in which they can be a respected leader. They try to assimilate to remain neutral on hot topics (Silent Minority). They aim for a higher place in the socioeconomic ladder of the Western world so that they’d no longer feel judged by who (their ethnicity) and what (values, cultural practices, for instance) they are.
Still the dutiful daughter; always studying even at University despite the ongoing distractions
It’s these reasons that White America identify Asian Americans as a “model” for other ethnicities. This stem from their perception that Asian Americans we are less of a “threat” to their society by remaining neutral. They assume that Asian Americans do not want to share their thought on topics like racism, politics, and religion. They expect that Asian Americans will NOT speak up or participate in certain events. For example, the #MeToo organization. The #HumanRights, #LGBTQ, and #LoveIsLove campaigns. The #BlackLivesMatter and #SocialJustice movement.[vii]
Though white America believes that it’s a compliment to be labeled as a “model minority,” most Asian Americans (even if they remain silent) do not.
Asian Americans, especially GenX (and beyond), see this as an excuse to justify the exclusion of minoritiesas well as marginalize any individual success within a minority group (Prime example: “Asians are ALL smart”). Furthermore, this concept of being a Model Minority ultimately results in other marginalized groups pitting themselves against each other; where one groups believes they are able to assimilate and/or or be accepted into the American mainstream than the other group(s).
To me, this illustrates the reason why many of our immigrant parents (and other families & friends), remain neutral / side with popular white America. And why, despite being minorities themselves, they perceive all other ethnicities (Asian-, African- Americans and Latinos, for example) as being inferior to them. Much like how white America deems everyone inferior to them.
Personally, I find it pitiful that white America feels they need to set other minority groups against each other. This shameful behavior belongs in the middle school playground; not in the adult world. [viii]
What’s that term? “Divide and conquer”?
Look back at history, specifically the periods of civil unrest, the increase in hate crimes, and the onset of excessive verbal abuse from white America happened at a time of fear. Specifically, the fear that non-white Americans are a threat to their way of life. Fear of unemployment; of having their jobs “replaced” with a person who does not look like them. Fear of being “taken over” by other minorities.
Just like they feared the Filipino farm workers in Stockton were taking their jobs (and their women) from them. Or how during WWII, Japanese Americans were considered a threat to national security. Or how Vincent Chin died because two laid-off white autoworkers felt that any Asian (regardless of ethnicity) was responsible for the economic downfall of the Big Three.
Just like the 91-yo Filipino American in Oakland, CA seen by circuit TV was thrown to the ground. And the Asian American New Yorkers who have been spit on and verbally abused on the subways and streets of NYC.
Or the 83-yo Chinese woman in San Francisco who was punched without provocation and fought back. [ix] Additionally, she insisted that the remaining donations (around $900K) on GoFundMe given back to the AAPI community to combat racism and hate crimes. How’s that for a gesture of good will?
Just like the 8 people (six of them Asian) that were fatally shot at two different Asian spas by a 21-yo male with a supposed porn addiction. And the subsequent statement from the Chief of Police who marginalized those deaths by saying that he was just having a “really bad day.”
Again, all these incidents stem from fear and are perpetuated by stereotypes. All of these activities continue to occur because of anger. This anger ultimately surfaces with hate and hate crimes.
This is the moment where I state my favorite quote. This quote, IMHO, is a perfect analogy [x]on how hate crimes begin and its resulting outcomes. And yes, it’s from the very wise, 990-year-old Grand-master Jedi, Yoda.
“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to Anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
This is why I choose to speak up about Asian-American Hate Crimes, especially its part in US history. I feel it’s important for every resident in US to realize that Asians (and other non-white Americans), have always been seen as inferior to white person. That even though over the last 6 years, there has been a 150% increase in Asian Hate Crimes, these sentiments, behaviors, and actions have existed here in the US as far back as 1587 when Filipinos took those first steps in present-day Morro Bay, CA — 33 years before the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock. And most definitely occurred before 1776, when the Declaration of Independence, which states that “All men are created equal“ was signed.[xi]
I’m speaking up about Model Minority because it pits Asian Americans and other ethnic groups against each other. Because it marginalizes any success that we achieve. Because it no longer pays to “assimilate” or strive to be better than other ethnicities. Because White America will always see us as inferior to them.
Because even though we’re acceptable, we are not accepted.
I’m speaking up because I no longer want to be a Silent Minority. I want it known that white America’s ethnically related behaviors and actions cause suffering. That this suffering not only affects Asian Americans but the United States as a whole [xii]And like many 1st & 2nd generations of Asian Americans, we want our voices to be heard.
We want to talk and debate about the disparities and inequities in OUR country. We want to discuss how Asian Americans and all other minority groups want social justice, equity, and equality for everyone in the US, regardless of race, religion, economic status, sex, gender, marriage, identity, etc
I’m speaking up because I want to help #StopAsianHate
I hope you take all that I’ve written to heart. My wish is that you pass on this knowledge to the next person and the next person and the next person. Because, if we don’t TALK ABOUT IT, nothing will ever change. And history, once again, would be doomed to repeated.
<Drops mic and walks off Soapbox>
[i]Now before you say that yoga derived from India and meditation had its beginnings as an Islam practice, both are rooted in Asian culture, as India and Saudi Arabia (where Islam began) are part of the Asian continent.
[ii] IMHO the movie, though very entertaining, does not compare to reading the book. (Although the mahjong scene at the end was a great addition.)
[iii]Though syndication of “Kung Fu” had even us 80’s kids watching it
[iv] Who am I kidding? Not only are we taught that we’re selfish as kids, but that thought of “being selfish” extends to our adult lives.
[v]Never mind that the parents still speak their language to you, you still had to respond in English
[vi]Does the whole “feeling I’m split in two make more sense now?
[viii]NEWSFLASH: They will continue to do this unless something CHANGES. Which means talking about it.
[ix] Don’t mess with any Asian-American woman. We may look docile and agreeable, but – if pushed hard enough (both literally AND figuratively) – we strike back!
[x]Then again, this quote can be used in any situation
[xi] It also said that we have the right to vote. Thomas Jefferson when writing & signing the Declaration of Independence wrote, “Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed.” Just saying …
[xii]Think of why America was called “The Melting Pot” and why our Statue of Liberty reads:
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
I’m not smart, but I am a nurse! Part Four in my ongoing series about Asian Americans (Part One begins here)
I brought up the Vincent Chin incident in the previous post, because after finally opening my eyes to racial disparity at the age of 14, I became self-conscious of being Filipino American. Especially as this country perceives Asians as “different” – or rather, “inferior” – to them.
I’m sure most of you know that Hubby is also Filipino American; he was born in Manila, but came to the US. Being only 5 at that time, most of his upbringing has mirrored those of a first generation Filipino American. [i]
Growing up, I didn’t think I would marry another Filipino. In my eyes, I naively thought that in order to “assimilate” to the US culture, I would have to marry a non-Filipino. Yes, I realize how silly that sounds. Then I met Hubby and realized that it didn’t matter what ethnicity my spouse would be. What mattered was that my spouse would be my best friend and partner-in-crime with every adventure we would take.
Unsurprisingly, most non-Asian people automatically think that Hubby and I are “fresh of the boat.”[ii] We especially experience this when we’re somewhere we don’t visit often enough for people to at least recognize us. Typically, it’s while shopping further away from home, but especially when we’re out of town.
We notice the stares from others for being the only Asians in their area. We get suspicious looks when at any store or restaurant, almost as if they’re saying, “Who ARE those people and WHY are they here?” We get surprised looks when we speak very clear English. [iii]
Then there’s the flip side: Individuals who think they know everythingabout Asian Culture. They’re typically the ones that introduce themselves with, “Where are you from?” Yet despite telling them that I’m from Detroit, they continue to ask other insane questions like, “I mean, where are you originally from?” or “Where are your parents from?” It’s as if they have a hard time saying, “What is your ethnicity?”
Once they get the appropriate answer, these individuals (I refer to them as ATA’s) [iv] tend to say one of two things: “I knew you were Filipino,” followed by mentioning some other random Filipino celebrity (Pacquiao, for example) followed by some random Tagalog phrase. OR they are disappointed because they have a “really close friend that is <insert any Asian ethnicity>” and I’m sure you probably know him/her.”
Seriously, look it up onYouTube. There are TONS of parodies about this exact situation. Or listen to Ruby Ibera’s “Circa91” album [v] – the entirething. There are quite a few interludes between songs (think of “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill“) that are totally worth listening to, that provide a great exampleof growing up Asian American.
And then there are the stereotypes about Asians. Yes, I know every ethnicity / culture has them, [vi] and I’m sure you’re quite familiar with all of them as well. But FFS, let me respond to these stereotypes.
All Asians are NOT smart. They are NOT all doctors, nurses, engineers, or accountants. All Asians do NOT pass every test with A’s. [vii]
On the flip side, not all Asians are “lazy” and “don’t want to better themselves.” Yes, they may take on low-paying jobs — several at once, may I add — in order to provide a better life for themselves. If not for them, then certainly their children, parents, or siblings either here in the US or back home in their native land. They want to make sure that their family becomes successful because they DO NOT want them to take “dead end jobs.” They want them to have a profession with the ability to climb a career ladder.
No, they do NOT take up your slot in a university that you applied to. Or leadership positions, private business, job opportunity, for example. If anything, Asians often have to fight harder for what non-Asian persons have. Some of which entails omitting ethnicity to avoid being treated unjustly.
Not all Asians are “smart with their money” or “cheap” or “trying to low-ball you.” They are not “always trying to work a deal.” Not all Asians have nail salons, Asian grocery or party stores, or Chinese or Thai restaurants. Not all Asians eat dog meat.
Most of all (as of recently, that’s for sure), not ALL Asians are purposefully making “cheap” or “defective” clothing or electronics. Not ALL Asian countries are trying to sell you fake masks or other PPE.
And Asians are NOT purposefully trying to create a pandemic throughout the world by releasing a deadly virus that (thanks to the former “leader” of the free world) has been nicknamed “The China Virus” or “Kung Flu.”
Do you — as a human being — REALLY think that an entire ethnic group is THAT heartless and apathetic to the rest of the world? If so, then (IMHO) it takes one to know one.
Harsh, I know. But if the tables were turned and any other ethnicity / culture was saying things about Americans, imagine how you would feel.
I specifically mean words; not emotion. We already are bombarded with “you’re not patriotic” or “Go back home / to your own country.” As it is now, many Asian Americans feel that they are viewed as a “forever foreigner” despite being a US citizen by birthright. And yes, we are as “Patriotic” as any US citizen would be, regardless of any emotions (anger, hate) and actions (hate crimes, insurrection). [viii]
How would you respond if someone threw microaggressions [ix] your way? What would you want to DO about it? How would you defend your culture?
I ask these questions only to emphasize that Asians and Asian-Americans are constantlyhaving to prove their worth in America.
And again, I want to emphasize that these actions & behaviors did not start at the onset of COVID-19, or even after the 2016 Election.
These actions, those words, the exclusion … they have been happening for decades.
[i] Kids under the age of 12 that immigrate are usually referred to as half-generation Asian Americans.
[ii] Fresh of the Boat (or “FOB” as most Asian Americans say). This refers to being new to America. “Boat” is used in reference to having traveled by the Trans-Pacific Ocean Liner. Many parents of 1st Gen Asian Americans born before the mid-80’s were FOBS, since Air Travel was very new at the time and expensive at that time. Now, the “B” has been known to replace “Boat” with “Boeing.”
[iii] I was constantly told that they (patients, families, friends of families) were surprised that I spoke English. I’ve even had some remark that they couldn’t understand me because my accent was so thick. Let me remind you, I grew up here. I don’t know Tagolog (the Filipino language). I speak perfectly clear English, thank you very much!
[iv] People that love “All Things Asian”
[v] IMHO Ruby Ibarra’s track, “Us” should be an anthem for every Filipina American girl out there.
[vi] Remember how I said — er, rather wrote —that other countries view a “Typical American” as selfish, brash, and loud?
[vii] Prime example: I barely made it into Nursing School at Oakland University because I was one point away from failing my Microbiology prerequisite class.
[viii]And by “Patriotic,” I mean show and have pride for our country. Not the type of patriotism that believes “America needs to stay the same and not move forward” and/or “America is not the same way it used to be,” or “Change is a bad thing.” And certainly not the type of patriotism that promotes violence amongst its own people and government, More on this in the next (and final) post.
[ix] Microaggressions are “a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group.
Here are a few examples of micro-aggressive statements:
“Well, you didn’t grow up here in America, so you wouldn’t understand.”
“Huh, you don’t have an accent.”
“You should know. You’re <insert random Asian ethnicity> and you’re are all smart.”
“Can you read this <random ethnic restaurant>’s menu?”
“He/She <points to Asian friend> would know more about these things because he/she is Asian.
All Asians are NOT smart. They are NOT all doctors, nurses, engineers, or accountants. All Asians do NOT pass every test with A’s.