Category: Recess

Posted on

Such a Gleek

Although this post is not directly related to completely geeky pictures of me, I figured I might be able to get away with linking this to Aunt Becky’s latest game. After all, these are pretty lame high school pictures of me …

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

It’s Tuesday night and I’m watching a rerun of one of my other new favorite TV show, “Glee.”

Yeah ... the caption underneath says it all!

I know what it must seem: that I have no life other than watching TV or movies, Facebooking, and blogging. Which, in addition to work, is pretty much accurate. But I’m okay with that. Really.

Anyway, I love “Glee” because it reminds me so much of being in high school and the search for belonging to something. Not that I belonged to one particular group or another back then. Even though I had my core group of friends, I managed to surprisingly float amongst all cliques.

But “Glee”? It brings me back to Varsity Choir and Drama Club. It reminds me of the days where a good friend, K and I used to hang out in the Sophomore hallway listening to some Dead Milkmen and Bauhaus on our Walkmans. It also reminds me of the days where a couple other friends and I used to harmonize quite a few early Depeche Mode and Erasure songs.

But mostly “Glee” reminds me of one of the other things I love to do, which is sing. I blame it on my parents need to record me singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” (and hitting Dr. Bro on his head with the mic) at the age of four.** And the whole early-edition karaoke machine we had in the mid-80’s.

Yep, "Gleeky" Emily (front and center) in Varsity Choir

In any case, there’s been this ongoing fake pregnancy story line between the Glee Club faculty advisor, Will Schuster and his wife, Terri. This couple had been together since high school and have, for years, been trying to start their family. While one would think this infertility story would be one that I would’ve liked, it actually annoyedme more than anything. But thank G*d, the “fake pregnancy” story finally resolved with the “winter finale” this past December. Unfortunately, it ended with Will leaving his wife after all the lies she weaved.

Watching the repeat of this episode tonight, I was reminded of a line that Terri Schuster said as she made her case to “win” Will back. She said:

“It’s just … I wanted so many things that I know we’re never going to have. But that was okay; as long as I still had you.”

And the thing is, when I heard this crazy woman say those words … I completely understood her.

I understood what it meant to do anything that I could to have a family with my Hubby. And I understood how much it would mean to me to share these things … these experiences … with my Hubby. But the difference between Terri Schuster and me is that I would never lie to my Hubby at the risk of losing him.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

And now for my Lenten acts.

Senior Year ... Future SIL and I were SOOO cool! LOL!

Random Act of Kindness Du Jour: It’s been a strange couple weeks at work regarding staff member’s families. Last week, one of my new Case Manager’s father passed away. And this week, another one of my Case Manager’s sisters unexpectedly passed on. To show our sympathies, our department typically sends flowers. Which is nice … but that’s not the good deed for today.

My good deed surrounds speaking one on one with the staff member whose sister passed away. This same staff member, who received the news yesterday at work, still came in to work this morning. When I spoke with her, I asked her how she felt and how she was coping. And yes, I offered to let her go home at any time. However, this staff member told me that it was probably best that she work so as to keep her mind off of the situation surrounding her surviving family members. When I pressed just a little further, I managed to get her to open up more. Without going into details, basically what I did was provide her with the support she needed as she wasn’t really getting it from anywhere else. And, while it didn’t make her feel a 100% better, at least I know I provided her with some comfort.

Gratitude Du Jour: I can’t tell you how grateful I am that Hubby drives me to work in the mornings. First of all, it allows me to arrive at work feeling less sticky and out of breath. Second, it allows me to feel less rushed in trying to make the El train in the morning. But most of all … well, it just allows me to sleep in for just a few moments longer. And anybody that knows me, knows that I love my sleep!

And with that said … I’m officially off to bed. G’Night all!!

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

** Seriously, there is tape-recorded evidence of this!

I was even a Drama Club chairperson (again, front and center)


Posted on

Mad as a Milliner

There’s a good portion of me that believes I’m mad. Not mad, as in angry … Rather mad, as in crazy.

And I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing either.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently saw “Alice in Wonderland” with Hubby and our friend, J. And as we usually do after seeing a movie, we went out to eat so we could discuss our review of the movie.

While all of us agreed that the movie had some stunning visuals a la-Tim Burton style, we varied in our overall assessment in the movie. But, as I know that Hubby and J will likely write their own review of “Alice in Wonderland” … I’ll stick to my own review.

Simply put, I love pretty much all Tim Burton films. Well, except for “The Corpse Bride” and that’s only because I haven’t seen it yet. All of the movies have a certain charm to them, with characters that you can’t help but like.

“Alice in Wonderland” also has this bit of charm; Helena Bonham-Carter is excellent as the Queen of Hearts … I love that she’s this wicked queen with insecurity issues and a need to be loved. And Alice? Well I just totally fell in love with her. She’s smart. She’s brave. And she’s a little “mad” herself.

However, the movie has a few shortcomings; things that kill me to admit… While I love Johnny Depp’s performance of the Mad Hatter, I just didn’t get a good sense of character development. The same goes for Anne Hathaway’s White Queen.** But who knows? Maybe the DVD/Blu-Ray release will reveal more scenes that were cut from the final version of the film.

And while the ending is predictable (which movies aren’t anymore?), it would have been nice to see … or rather feel … more trepidation or angst leading up to the finale. And as much as it pains me to say this … There’s this bit part at the end involving the Mad Hatter that just seems altogether strange; at least in the anticlimactic timing of it.

Yet despite these shortcomings, it’s the overall message that this film provides that has me loving this film. In particular, it’s the opening scene that stole my heart.

This scene begins with Alice’s father passionately discussing the expansion of his “business,” outlining a trade route that, to his investors, sounded like an impossible feat. As he does this, he notices a young Alice in the doorway of his office. It’s late at night and Alice apparently woke up from a nightmare. So Alice’s dad excuses himself and brings Alice back up to her room and tucks her back in, all while Alice tells him about her strange nightmare that involved a talking rabbit and a mischievously grinning cat. Afterwards, she asks her father whether or not she’s gone mad. In which, her father touches her forehead and says, “I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers.”

“But I’ll tell you a secret,” Alice’s father adds, while Alice looked at him completely stunned. “All the best people are.”

It’s this message that gets carried throughout this film; the perception that Alice should not have to settle in life. Nor that she should be afraid to believe in herself. Whether it’s about accepting a marriage proposal to someone she doesn’t love … or whether it’s about believing that she is smart and brave in every day life. It’s about believing that she can be a little “bonkers” but still be strong.

And that’s the part of the movie that I can best relate to. That sometimes the craziest moments in life can also be the most rewarding.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

Daily Lenten Good Deed: Nothing beats finding money on the floor. Of course, if you just happen to see who dropped it … and that person wasn’t aware of the missing moolah … who’d know that it was you that took it? My conscience would. Which is why I did what any good person would do, which was let the person know that his cash had dropped out of his pocket.

 

Hubby is *MY* Mad Hatter!

Daily Lenten Thanks: After spending a weekend away from my other furbabies*** … I always miss them something fierce by the time I return home to them. And their constant need to cuddle with me for the first couple of days afterwards tells me that they missed me too. Today I’m so thankful I’ve got these two  furballs that provide me with all the unconditional love their little kitty hearts can give.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

** Although I admit that I’ve never completely read Lewis Carroll’s series of books on Alice; nor have I watched any movie versions. So maybe this is why I feel the lack of character development in this movie.

*** Because the third furbaby, Kozzy, always gets to come along on the five-hour car rides to and from Detroit.

Posted on

The Not-So-Good Wife

Grams from “Dawson’s Creek” has come along way. So has Carol Hathaway from Cook County’s “ER”. Come to think of it, so has Mr. Big … well, actually he’s just a recurring special guest star.

Yeah, amongst the other TV shows I’ve picked up this year is NBC’s “The Good Wife.” Now, I admit that I started watching it because I’ve always loved Juliana Marguiles since her days on ER. And I must admit that I like seeing the Chicago skyline on the small screen. What I didn’t realize until I watched the season premiere was that this was a lawyer show. And me love me some lawyer shows.

It must be some inherent need for me to live vicariously through these shows. Or maybe it’s just that Hollywood makes it look so glamorous. But regardless, I love listening to lawyers debate. Well, at least in court; where there’s a formality to their arguments.

You see, I’m not good at arguing. In fact, I’m pretty bad at it.

Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Oh, I can hold a conversation and find logic in arguing a point. I can even concede if the opposition has a strong rationale for their position. But throw emotion into it? Well yeah, then I’m a mess. And let’s face it, unless there’s that formal structure for debate … when isn’t there a situation where emotions eventually come to play?

So yeah. I suck at arguing.

I have no other reason for bringing this point up other than the fact that I love Juliana Marguiles’ character on “The Good Wife.” Somehow her character, despite her own personal mess, always manages to find a way to keep her emotions in check. And I really wish I had the talent to do that.

Guess that means I better cross “lawyer” off the list of possible new careers …

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

And now … back to the task at hand.

Random Act of Kindness: I can’t believe I actually did this; especially since some days I still feel like I’m still a “tourist” in the city of Chicago. But yes, I *actually* managed to give restaurant recommendations to some visitors attending a conference in the nearby Hyatt Regency. I stumbled on the poor souls on my way out of the building this evening and they just looked so pitifully lost. So I took it upon myself to ask them if they needed any assistance … and, yeah … little ol’ me managed to help them. Yee-haw!!

Because only a "Good Wife" would put such a *great* picture of her Hubby ...

Thanks & Gratitude: Can I tell you how much I love my Hubby? Not only does he drive me to work everyday (so I don’t have to feel all rushed and exhausted just getting to work), but he also manages to meet me every day at the El Station with our Kozzy-girl just so he can walk me home. AND … the poor guy is so awesome that he not only cooked dinner tonite (and most nights) but he also cleaned the cats’ litter. And if there’s any chore I hate to do the most … it would be cleaning that litter. So thank you VERY MUCH, oh dear Hubby of mine. Much much love from your Not-So-Good Wife.

Posted on

Blades of Glory

The 2010 Olympic Mascots

I admit it. I totally love watching the Olympics; and particularly the Winter Games. Oh, don’t get me wrong … I love the Summer Games, too (particularly any of the swimming events). However, there’s something about the danger of any of the Winter events that makes it more … thrilling.

I mean, even Pairs Figure Skating can be dangerous; as I’ve imagined various scenarios of ice blades or toe picks landing on places that they shouldn’t be. Especially as one of the pairs actually had such a nasty incident back in 2007.

And take a look at the Georgian luger, Nodar Kumaritashvili. Even though I don’t endorse looking at any of the videos of the crash … for those that have seen it, it’s just simply horrific. I just feel for his family and for his fellow competing countrymen.

Anyway, last night I watched the beginning of the Men’s Figure Skating competition. And as Hubby & I listened to some of the commentary while watching the French skater, Florent Amodio and the Canadian skater, Vaughn Chipeur perform, both of us could not stop giggling. Simply because it reminded us so much of some of the “commentary” done on the movie “Blades of Glory.”

Let me explain.

Jon Heder’s character is Jimmy MacElroy. He’s a very … for lack of better description … “feminine” male skater. And in the movie, “video interview” goes a little something like this:

“He’s a child of privilege. A classic skater, defined by elegance, precision, and the ability to endure great pain. He was plucked from an orphanage at age 4 by billionaire champion-maker, Darren MacElroy. Once a breeder of some of the most successful racehorses in the world, Darren had turned his attention to nurturing athletically advanced human orphans. His ultimate find came in the form of skating wonderkid, Jimmy.”

Uh huh; incredibly cheesy. And then there’s Amodio. As he skated, the commentator gave us his biography:

“… found on the streets of Brazil and eventually adopted as a young infant by a French couple. He started skating at age four when long-time coach Bernard Glesser discovered him in a public skating session.”

Then there’s Will Ferrell’s character, Chazz Michael Michaels. He’s a very skilled skater, but too much of a rebel. Chazz’s biography in the movie goes a little like this:

“At age twelve, Chazz escaped a life of running cigarettes and illegal fireworks by becoming a star in Detroit’s underground sewer skating scene. The only skater to win four national championships and an adult film award, which is not to say this ruffian heartthrob doesn’t have a softer side. He recently published a book of poetry, ‘Let Me Put My Poems In You.'”

Uh yeah. Too frickin’ funny … I especially enjoyed the whole “nod” to Detroit. Then the commentary on Vaughn Chipeur:

“He likes cars. He likes loud music and rock ‘n’ roll. And he’s got the same style on the ice. He’s strong, athletic and macho, which is a refreshing. He’s found a style that suits what he likes. The audience really responds to it, and now the judges are responding to it, which is great.”

Oh … come on . Y’all have to see a little similarity there, don’t you?!

Anyway, the whole point of this post wasn’t to poke at Men’s Figure Skating. Quite honestly, I do enjoy watching the men skate as well. I just simply enjoy a male figure skater who is athletic, yet graceful. But not so graceful that it looks too … dainty.

No, the point of this post is more about how much I love the concept of the Olympic Games. I love how all these various nations can gather together in the spirit of comraderie and competition. How individuals who represent their country can still cheer for their fellow athlete. And really, isn’t that what sports are supposed to be about? Competing for a title, yet still respecting the sport?

Yami cuddles with Quatchi, one of the Olympic Mascots

In US sports today, I can’t say that’s a 100% true. Especially when we live in a country obsessed with “superstars.” Not saying that all super-athletes have no respect for their game … in fact, there are some professional sports out there, like Hockey, that still seem to respect the game. I’m just saying that sometimes other material things (<cough>money <cough>) get in the way of that respect.

So that’s what’s refreshing about the Olympics for me. Sometimes it’s not even about cheering for my country (although, with that said … Go USA!), it’s about cheering for everyone that has even made it to the games.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

Oh, and sorry … I have just one more dig at Men’s Figure Skating. Some of these costumes are ridiculous! Foremost is Johnny Weir’s “Rock the Tassle” black unitard with pink trim.

But the one that *got* me the most was the outfit AND music used by the Italian skater, Samuel Contesti. Not only was he dressed in jean overalls (conveniently “shaped” in the “right spots), but he skated to a very rockabilly-blues song by the J. Geils Band.

It just seems odd that an Italian man should be wearing a very “hillbilly outfit” while skating to a very American song. Very truly a “Starbust Contradiction” …

Posted on

Tied to the Apron

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot of the title of my blog; mostly because of the whole NaBloPoMo theme of “Ties.” After all, what other references are their to apron strings other than being “tied” to one or needing to be cut from one?

But as I mentioned in this page, the purpose of my blog title is in reference to my favorite song and the relationship it had with my longing to have a family of my own. It’s a song that referenced my need to let my “imaginary child” know that he/she would be happy wrapped in my apron strings.

Then there’s the whole use of this song in the movie soundtrack for the John Hughs film, “She’s Having A Baby“. It’s a perfect song for this movie, especially as there is a small bit part in there about the struggles of infertility.

Though what gets me about the use of “Apron Strings” in this movie is that they do not use the original version of the song from the album “Idlewild.” While I understand making the song more “commercially” palatable, I do wish that they would have used the original lyrics to the song.

You see, the movie version uses different lyrics on the first bridge of the song. The movie version lyrics bring on the tone of a woman waiting for the birth of her child. While the original lyrics … well, those are the ones I can relate to most:

Your baby looks just like you when you were young
And he looks at me with eyes that shine
And I wish that he were mine
Then I go home to my
Apron strings; cold and lonely,
For time brings thoughts that only
Will be quiet when someone clings
To my apron strings

These lyrics; they expressed (still express?) the feelings that I have when I see other families with babies … with children of their own. It’s the feeling of wanting … of longing to experience what most other couples, and more specifically, women experience.

And while I’m no longer entrenched in those aching emotions of childlessness, I still have that feeling of wanting to belong. Of not wanting to be so different than others. To get to experience those things in a woman’s life that most women get to share with one another.

Child-free Living is, as Loribeth‘s blog title says is definitely “The Road Less Travelled.” It’s a place where not many people can accept or understand; where the perception is that those people who don’t raise children are purely selfish.

My fave pic of Hubby & our nephew. We were in the midst of IF treatment at the time.

And even amongst those couples who live without children, there is considerable debate surrounding the definition “child-free living.” For some couples, child-free living is defined as the “lack of desire” to have children. While others see it simply as a lifestyle choice. The common factor, however, is that child-free living is a conscious decision to continue a life without children. Now … throw infertility into the mix and there’s even less of a connection to others who may see child-free living strictly as not wanting to have any children.

Sometimes it’s as if I feel that my life is destined to be one in which I am constantly “different” than others. First there’s the whole two-different-worlds, in being a first generation Filipino-American. Then there’s the whole deal of never being able to experience motherhood. And even moreso now, as I begin to live child-free after infertility.**

While I’ve known since November that the title of my blog has since strayed from it’s original purpose, I do feel that the lyrics to my favorite song still ring true. Because now … instead of that longing for a child … I am now longing for the understanding from others that living child-free after infertility was not an easy decision to make. And letting go of these apron strings was/is not such an easy task to do.

So maybe it’s not a matter of “letting go” of these apron strings*. Maybe it’s more of longing for acceptance that my apron strings can be good for other things in my life …

For apron strings can be used for other things
Than what they’re meant for
and you’d be happy wrapped in my
Apron strings

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

EBTG's first studio album ... a classic!

* How do you like my new and improved “About This Blog” blurb? Yep … it was time to change it.

** So here’s a sidebar story … Hubby & I recently started to “branch out” from our Chicago apartment to find groups or events that might be of interest. (About time, it’s been a year!!) When we first started to look for things, we went to this website and looked up local groups. What I was surprised to see was the lack of support for CF Living after IF. But trust me, I found groups for those actively going through IF treatment; and I found staunch “No Kids” groups … but none where I might relate to other women.

Yep … IRL, I must really be all alone. But at least I have all you wonderful folk out there in blog world!