Category: Infertile Me

When is it time to look for a new OB-Gyn? My current one has seen me through quite a bit of my medical history. It was with his direction that I experienced my first of many pelvic ultrasounds (and oh, what an eye-opening experience that was). He was the one that started the initial infertility work-up. He was the one that started me on the “Evil Clomid.” And he was the one to tell me when it was time to seek an RE. Not only that, but after so many years of “cheating” on him with specialist after specialist, he’s the one that took me back in when my attempt to successfully reproduce on my own failed.

So why am I questioning why I should change doctors?

As I mentioned in previous posts, I’ve been experiencing increased pain with my periods. I had an US two weeks ago, mid-cycle, that apparently looked picture-perfect. And the plan was to restart me on Lupron to help treat my endometriosis. And then Aunt Flo visited me with a vengeance.

And as an update to my last post where my doc basically gave me the “Take two of these and call me in the morning” speech … I called this morning to let the office know that yes, I was still having this intense pain. And no, the Darvocet I took (two tabs at a time, by the way) did not help the pain. So I was directed to go into the office for another exam, but this time it would be one of his partners since he was working out of his “other” office, all the way on the other side of town.

Well, let me tell you … Dr. Partner seemed to be much more attentive. He asked more questions, he seemed more interested in my symptoms. He seemed to want to figure out what was causing my pain. Unlike Dr. OldyShmoldy, who seemed to chalk up my symptoms to my endometriosis and that the Lupron injection should just “take care of it all.” So when Dr. Partner ordered another US thinking that something must have definitely changed from two weeks prior, I was more at ease knowing that something was being done. And when that US came back showing a 3.5 cm ovarian cyst (which, Thank God, was not ruptured), I just finally felt some justice that I wasn’t going crazy.

So what’s next? Other than the Lupron, which is supposed to help reabsorb the cyst … nothing. That is, unless the pain gets even worse. Which means that there’s still the possibility of a rupture. But not very likely.

Anyway, after this experience I’m seriously thinking that I need to change doctors. And change practices as well. I just don’t know how to go about doing this. I suppose I should wait until I finish my Lupron therapy. Or should I?

Argh. Any advice would help. And if anybody knows of a good OB-Gyn in the Detroit-Oakland Co. area …

No, I’m not talking about Hubby or any other particular person that I might think is a pain in my side. I am literally having pain in my side. Particularly my left lower abdomen.

It started early this morning as Puppy woke me up to let her out at 2(frickin’):30 in the morning. Got out of bed and felt a little twinge. Went to lie back down after letting Pup back in and the pain just got worse.

Oh, I guess I should add that I’m CD2 today. And even though I’m used to the usual cramps (okay, I lie … I hate them and will never get used to them) and even the dull pain I usually feel on my right lower abdomen during the first two days, this pain is just … different. Sharp and intense. Localized to what I’m assuming is my left ovary.

So come (actual) morning time as I was trying to wake up in order to get ready for work, the pain was no better. I made a sad attempt to go to work and then ended up going home after only two hours. But not before making an appointment with my GYN for later in the afternoon. Which … I was going to head there today on my lunch hour anyway for my first dose of Lupron.

The end result? Take this Darvocet prescription and take as needed. Call in the morning if I’m not feeling any better. Oh, and let’s poke you in the rear with Lupron while you’re here too.

Well, it could be the drugs since I’m feeling pretty loopy right now (am I babbling or what?), but I’m still not feeling any better. Crampy? Check. Bloated? Check. Lack of appetite? Check. Pain in my side? Check … although the edge is gone a bit.

I guess stay tuned to see what happens next. Or not. Or maybe I should just go back to doing what I did best today … nap.

I had an incredible dream last night. One that I haven’t had in at least three years.

Last night I dreamt I took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. It was such a vivid dream in which I could literally see the second line appearing in front of my eyes. I was in such shock that I literally climbed back into bed, pregnancy test in hand, and woke Hubby up to confirm what I was seeing was NOT a mirage. And as he slowly woke up and opened his eyes, he confirmed that I wasn’t “seeing things” by the silly lopsided grin he had on his face. Both of us were in complete awe because Hubby & I hadn’t even been trying.

In the dream, we were so excited about the results that Hubby made it a point to take the day off from work to be with me as I went to doctor’s office. I didn’t even bother calling to make an appointment because apparently I already had one scheduled for that day. So we went into the office and as the nurse brought me into the room, she asked me where my Lupron prescription was. You see … in my dream, that appointment was supposed to be the day I was going to receive my first dose of Lupron. Instead, Hubby & I first looked at each other with these all-knowing grins, turned back to the nurse and said in unison, “We’re pregnant!”

And that, sadly, was the end of my dream.

I know why I had that dream. I know that all the recent events that have transpired over the past two months, let alone the past week has got my subconscious once again thinking about pregnancy … or rather, the lack of pregnancy. I know that the news of multiple co-workers’ who are about to become first-time grandmothers is affecting me. I know that the news of my SIL and our good friend in Portland’s pregnancies are also affecting me. And I damn know for sure that the whole endometriosis / Lupron thing is weighing heavily on my mind. Not to mention that these next few weeks are all leading up to the fourth year anniversary of our one attempt at IVF.

Those are the realities of my life. Those I understand and can make sense of. What I can’t grasp on to is that after three frickin’ years of not having any type of pregnancy dreams, why must I still continue to have them?