Dim Sum of Nuttin'
Ack. So I’ve been doing good in the blog posting lately … I still can’t believe I’ve done a post a day for now 17 days. Actually more, as I posted a few a day before the month officially began. But in the process I’ve neglected posting comments. And that’s really because I haven’t honestly been reading so much lately. In fact, my Flock reader bar has filled up to more feeds than I can possibly read in one setting.
D*mn. And I had been doing so well for a while.
Seriously though. Where the heck did the month go? I still can’t believe that a week from this Thursday is officially Thanksgiving. Which, of course means that the Holiday season is literally around the corner. Except, I swear the stores seem to think it’s in full swing. And let me tell you, hearing the holiday music all over the frickin’ place is annoying.
Worse even is that it’s only mid-November and there’s snow on the ground. Well at least there was early this morning. Ugh. This is Michigan … which, unless Mother Nature plays another trick on us, means that we’ll be seeing snow until early April. That’s five months of seeing snow. Almost half a year. Ugh.
It’s not that I don’t like snow. It’s pretty to look at, pretty to play in … totally sucks to clean up after, drive in, deal with stupid drivers and salt trucks. But hey … this is life in the Great Lakes state.
Moving on to something else …
Hubby was asked by our nephew to be his confirmation sponsor. So today, we went to mass at our nephew’s church where they asked the candidates and their sponsor to commit to this Catholic sacrament’s process. Afterwards, we had gone out for some dim sum at a local Chinese restaurant. Lots of yummy dumplings and noodles later … Hubby & I were sitting around holding our niece, who amazingly slept all throughout mass and pretty much all through lunch. But alas, she open her little eyes to us and was being her utterly adorable self.
If I could only find a way to duplicate her and take her twin home with me …
Okay, this is all I can manage for today. Until tomorrow …
"Fortune"-ate
(Update 03.19.2009: Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can finally un-PWP this post!)
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Focus on your long-term term goal.
Good things will soon happen.
– Fortune Cookie from Chinese Take-out
(Last night’s dinner, by the way … )
Wow. I mean seriously. Wow. I’m still in a bit of shock over the news I received yesterday, and I’m still completely giddy with excitement.
Wednesday afternoon I received a call. From the HR person I’ve been dealing with. Unfortunately, I missed the call and by the time I realized it, it was way past the time for me to call back. So I had to wait until the morning to call.
In the mean time, I was trying to send out my follow-up letters to both the HR person I finally met face to face this past Monday and the manager of the department I was interviewing in. So Wednesday night, I finished writing the letters and thought briefly about snail-mailing them out. But seeing as if I already received one call, I figured that I could send the letter by email instead … at least for the time being.
So about 11:30 pm that night, I shipped out both emails and thought nothing about it; hoping that the HR person would read it in the morning before I called him back.
Five minutes later … I receive a reply. From the manager that I interviewed with. At 11:30 pm EST. Which means it was still late evening where she was. Yikes … I was totally not expecting that! But basically she said that it was nice meeting me too, and that I should contact the HR rep for “the next steps.”
So I’m thinking that perhaps the call is to set up an interview with the Director of the department for the supervisor position I also interviewed for. Or maybe I was going to be offered the Case Manager position instead; which would have been fine, but then I’d have been concerned about the salary and still having to make the move out of our state. Either way, I was prepared for the call.
So yesterday morning, I call shortly after what I assume is the HR person’s starting time and leave a message. And wait for about an hour. When HR guy finally calls, I’m taken completely by surprise. Because rather than calling to set up another interview, he’s calling to offer me a position. The supervisor position.
That’s right … the supervisor position!
HOLY CRAP!! I GOT OFFERED THE JOB!!!
Okay, so before I get too excited … I still have to officially accept the position and the salary that’s currently being negotiated (which are going good, by the way …). And well, I still have to take the requisite drug screen (no poppy seeds for me). But …
HOLY CRAP!! I GOT OFFERED THE JOB!!!
Okay, so now that I got that out of the way … I can’t believe how, thus far, things have been falling neatly into place. How finding out about my (now ex-) Director’s move to a new company out of state coincided with a very emotionally difficult time in my life (read: niece’s birth). How the opportunity to review my resume and forward it on spurred me to even contemplating such a move. How we got such an awesome deal on lodging that I didn’t realize was right next to the building I’d be interviewing in. How, even though Hubby was sick over the weekend, that gave me the chance to rest up and relax before the big interview. How the manager I interviewed with happened to be Filipino. How her supervisor happened to be someone that shared my views about teamwork and leadership. And how my ex-Director picked the most opportune moment to peak in the meeting room just to say hi to me.
Now, y’all know my stance with my Catholicism. I’m spiritual to a point, but then my scientific and logical reasoning takes over. But let me tell you … right now, I believe that The Big Man Upstairs has been seriously watching over me. That He’s felt my pain and frustration with everything I’ve been dealing with, that He’s noticed all the anxiety and tears I’ve let loose. And that at this moment, when I just needed something to go my way for once, He’s opened a few doors. And I am so grateful for this.
By no means am I completely clear of any obstacles, though. There’s still all the other logistics that need to be addressed. Selling our house in a depressed economy (this is metro-Detroit, after all … the Motor City ain’t doing so good right now). Finding a place to live in the mean time. Paying for both places until our house sells. All those logistics.
Yes, I know I’m putting the cart in front of the horse right now. But haven’t you noticed? It’s in my nature to worry about these things. But I pray that these things go as smoothly as (knock on wood) things have been going thus far.
So again, if anybody has The Big Man Upstairs on their speed dial, would you mind continuing to put a good word in for me?
And now, if you’ll excuse me … I’m going to do the “Dance of Joy.”
_
(Update 03.19.2009: Now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can finally un-PWP this post!)
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Show and Tell: Doin' De-butt
I actually posted this on Saturday. And really, since I’ve been out of town, I didn’t have a chance to post a Show and Tell this Sunday. So instead, I’m updating this post to make it this Sunday’s Show and Tell.
Presenting … my youngest cousin’s cotillion. Or what we call, a “Debut.” In my case … it’s de-butt! 🙂
And make sure that you peruse the other Show and Tell posts this week!
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Whew. This was a busy week.
Monday was spent catching up on the events that happened over the weekend. No … not the “social” aspect of last weekend (although I might blog about that another day). Working as an RN in the health care industry, the work never stops. Even when working for an insurance company. So as the phone calls and faxes came furiously all day Monday, there was little to no time to rest. And given that our company was closed for Election Day … well, I wanted to get everything from the weekend done by the end of Monday, so that Wednesday, I could work on everything that came in from Monday and Tuesday. So basically, my work week was spent trying to catch up from the previous couple of days. I. Hate. Work Weeks. Like That.
Tuesday, obviously Election Day. Hubby & I tried to stay up to watch the results come in, but ended up falling asleep in bed with the T.V. still on. I swear, one minute (oh, let’s say around 11:30) Obama had 207 to McCain’s 148 (or something like that …) and the next, it’s 11:55 and the news reporter on the T.V. announces that they’re waiting for the new President-Elect Obama to give his victory speech in Chicago. And then the next minute it’s 5:30 in the morning and the T.V. is off. I’m guessing that Hubby finally turned it off when finally going to bed. Or, I turned it off in my sleep haze and don’t remember doing so. Either way, I’m seriously bummed I didn’t get to hear Obama’s speech.
(Sidenote: A week prior to the results of this election, I received one of those mass emails from one of my parents’ friends about how a vote for Obama would mean a vote against G*d … or something along those lines. And since then, I’ve been getting these “replies” from people that I don’t even know either agreeing or disagreeing to that first email. Today … I got one with this article attached to it. Grr …
Wednesday was obviously a repeat of Monday morning. And we all know what happened on Thursday.
Now yesterday … yesterday evening was fun. It was my youngest cousin’s cotillion. In the Philippines, it’s customary to celebrate a girl’s “coming of age” by having a “Debut” party when she turns 18. (Think “My Sup.er Sw.eet Sixteen” with a two year delay.) I had a variation of one; more of a combination of a graduation / birthday party, all while wearing a fancy shmancy dress. My youngest cousin had, what I consider more of a traditional Filipino cotillion; complete with the white ballgown, the 16 or 18 person “Cotillion Court”, and the ballroom dance routine.
Oh, and did I mention that her party was more elaborate than my wedding?! Uh, yeah. So much that when we got the invitation in the mail … I thought that it was actually a wedding invite! Even the banquet hall was complete with a “head table” (for my cousin and her “Court”) and chair slipcovers with baby blue satin ribbons to match her “theme.”
And the cake … !!
But really, the best part of the party was, once again, being with my cousins. One came from as far as California just to celebrate with us. And the fun that ensued was beyond incredible. As tired as I was from the past work week … I wished we could have spent more time together. Perhaps one day we’ll be able to do the “girl cousins” cruise we planned that night!
(Another Sidenote: If you ever want to see a great example of a traditional Filipino cotillion … not to mention an excellent example of growing up Filipino-American, go rent “The Debut“. It’s so “on the nose” that it totally freaked even Hubby out!)
And today? Well, today I’m finally getting a chance to relax. Hubby & I took a trip to Chicago for an extra-long weekend getaway. A much needed getaway. We’ve been busy nonstop with various activities since Labor Day and just wanted to have a moment together without any distractions. And when we got a most excellent deal on a Downtown Chi-town hotel, well we snapped up the offer. So as I type, I’m lying in our wonderful king-size bed watching my Hubby snore next to me. Oh, and I think he’s getting sick, too.
But I’m seriously okay with that. And to tell you the truth, I almost half-expected him to get sick. After all, he has had little to no sleep over the past weeks. And this is his body’s way of telling him that taking care of himself is just as important (if not more) than any other business he has.
Besides, then I wouldn’t have time to write this post.
Crouching Dragon Lady
Well … For those of you that have read my last PWP post and commented or emailed me personally, I very much appreciate all that you’ve said. There were definitely points that were brought forward that I haven’t thought about in my angry haze, and for that I am grateful. All of your words definitely made me stop long enough to breathe in some fresh air rather than breathe out flames of anger.
I’m still trying to decide what I want to do with this blog. Don’t know if I want to continue to post on this blog, or if I want to move elsewhere. I’ve already got another blog site all set if I decide to move, but for now I think I will continue to just PWP those posts that I assume would “hurt” other people.
Which (okay … one last b*tchy statement and I swear I’m done for now … ) just still gets my goat (goad?) Because seriously, while I understand sometimes words do hurt … by having to “censor” myself … well, it just makes me feel like I shouldn’t be “allowed” to express how I truly feel. Like I have to “butter up” my words (or rather kiss a$$) just to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings. But G*d forbid that I’m not allowed to have my own feelings hurt!
Woops. I believe I just got side-tracked from what I was originally going to blog about. Now what was I saying?! (Ugh. Mind is in a haze …) Oh yeah. In one of the comments I received, there was a statement that I feel I need to clarify. Actually, there were two:
There was a comment indicating that I’ve made this particular relationship into a competition. That I “think” that my loss is “bigger” than this other person’s loss. Or that this person’s life is much “better” than my life. I’m “saying” this loud and clear … it has NOT BEEN ME that has focused on this part of our relationship. To me, I have never thought that one person has it worse or better than the other. To me A LOSS IS A LOSS … it doesn’t matter how small or large the loss is, it still hurts like h*ll. As I’ve (obviously not-so clearly) mentioned in this post, I never wanted this relationship to be a competition. All I wanted was the support.
Which leads me to the second point of clarification …
I want to clear up the statement I made about not considering Hubby & myself a “family unit.” It wasn’t that I didn’t think Hubby & I were a family. No, I was more irritated at the way the envelope addressed. Because that action was just a very passive-aggressive way to include me … and yet to not mention me by name. It was a subtle dig (whether consciously or unconsciously) to let me know that I was still on a certain person’s sh*tlist.
Yes, I know Hubby & I are a family … we’re a family of two; which is how it has always been. Especially as we have been going through this infertility journey alone. And that’s in sharp contrast to what our Filipino culture is supposed to be. As a “family” (which ultimately includes all immediate family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), we’re supposed to be supporting each other, fighting for each other, holding each other up when another person in the family needs it most. And while I feel as if I’ve done my fair share (and sometimes above and beyond) of support, I just don’t think it’s ever been reciprocated, leastwise from this particular person. At least in the way that I wish it would. The way that I’ve done for others.
Truth be told, I want someone to speak up for me when I’m tired of giving explanations. I want someone to fight for me when someone says something inappropriate. Or at least diffuse a potentially uncomfortable situation. And I want someone to hold me up when I’m weak from having to do all those things mentioned above.
Tell me the truth people … if YOU held someone up at one (actually two) of their most difficult times in their lives; if YOU fought battles for people when you felt they couldn’t fight any more; if YOU put aside your own uncomfortable feelings in order to support someone that you knew needed it … wouldn’t you hope that when YOU needed the support, these same actions would be returned?
I suppose I’ll get the responses like … “Well, you can only expect to get what a person is willing to give.” Or “some people aren’t built like that.” And I can honestly say that it’s taken me over twenty years … but I’ve finally accepted those answers. I might not like it and may still b*tch about it from time to time (in a PWP post, of course) … but I accept that I shouldn’t expect anything more from this particular relationship.
With that said … I want to share an article with you that a co-worker thought I could learn from. I enjoyed reading it and … who knows? Maybe it’s lessons will come in handy in the (very near) future!