Afterglow

I’ve just boarded the train in Ann Arbor heading back to my place in the city. And even though the breathtaking scenery of the Huron River is around me, I am feeling blue. I’ve just said good-bye to Hubby after a fun weekend and – even though we deny it till the very last moment – I am terribly sad. It’s as if these train tracks, the same ones that took me to him on Friday, are pulling me further and further away from him. And I hate it.

I haven’t been writing much over the past week because I’ve been busy. I find the more time I spend apart from writing, the more difficult it is for me to write. And I hate that.

And now, with the two things I’ve admitted to hating out of the way … and with about 4 hours before hitting my final destination … I now find myself having that time to write.

MH & AF circa 1988
MH & AF circa 1988

I’ve got my iPod on listening to the (new) INXS* song, “Afterglow.” I love this song, because it’s so beautiful. And it’s a song that I could totally hear Michael Hu.tchence singing, rather than JD “Fortunate-that-he-was-picked” from Rockstar. Sadly, it’s a song that was written by MH’s songwriting partner Andrew Fa.rriss. And perhaps I may be reading into the lyrics too much, but I’ve interpreted it as a song he wrote about dealing with life after Michael’s death. And how he has been trying to “let him go” so that he can move forward with his own life without Michael.

It’s perfect for how I’m feeling right now; having just left Hubby standing on the train platform. Not that I’m “letting him go” or anything. It’s more that I’m feeling like I have to go on living life without Hubby once again … at least for another 5 days until the weekend comes once more. You would think that I might have gotten used to it by now, as it’s been two months now, but it’s still as painful as that first day Hubby drove off down the street of our new “place” and back to our home in Michigan. The only thing that’s holding me together is that the end is now in site. And hopefully by the end of this month, I will finally be able to call this place I’ve been living in for the past two months “home.” Because Hubby will always be home for me.

And suddenly I’ve got that line from “Lilo & Stitch” in my head. “Ohana means Family. And Family means no one get’s left behind.”

*Sigh* ….

So … what to write about now ? Hmm, perhaps I could tell you about all the fun I had at Hubby’s Ad Club Awards show yesterday. You know … the same awards show for which Hubby designed the poster made completely out of Legos (with some assistance from his personal Lego Engineer, of course ). Well, because Legos was such a big thing for most of the “Creatives” (as they call themselves …) back in the early 80’s, the overall theme turned into a whole 80’s night. Well, at least the rest of the items that Hubby designed (the invitations, the programs, banners, etc) had a whole ’80’s feel to it.

D2 circa 1983
D2 circa 1983

To complete the 80’s theme, Hubby and I decided to dress the whole 80’s part. This is where I’d probably insert a picture of Hubby in a white blazer coat, black dress shirt unbuttoned at the top with a black tie loosened around the neck (a la Dur.an Dur.an circa 1981). Or even one where I’m dressed in a 80’s mod dress complete with black stirrup leggings and kitten heel pumps. (I would have done the whole side-ways ponytail, but then my grey hair would have really stood out …) Unfortunately, neither of us remembered to take our cameras with us. So instead, I’ll share this true 80’s picture of me (circa 1985), in a dress that’s quite similar to what I wore. And no … my dress was not the same pattern … (Damn … thought I had it with me on my laptop here. Guess I don’t. I’ll have to scan it next time I’m back in Detroit …)

It’s always a fun night going to these Addy Awards. Being around Creative Folk is pretty darn funny. They usually have some interesting stories to talk about. Most aren’t too stuffy where they can’t take a joke or tell a pretty good one. Typically every year there’s some sort of theme around the awards. I think I already shared with you a picture of Hubby & I as a Ringmaster and Tightrope Walker during the circus-themed one. Then there was the one where everything revolved around solving some sort of crime, a la CSI … except in this case CSI stood for Creative Scene Investigation. And of course there was the whole “Austin Powers” Groovy theme; in which one couple dressed up as Dr. Evil and Vanessa Kensington. That was pretty darn funny!

So the Lego theme this year found the Creatives sitting around tables with various pieces of Lego surrounding the table centerpieces. People were encouraged to play with them, build things with them. If someone from their table won an award, when they came up to accept the award they were instructed to add Lego piece(s) to a Lego board up in the front of the room. The goal was that at the end of the night, everyone would have formed a communal sculpture made out of random Lego pieces. Well … the final piece was definitely a mish-mosh of various random Legos representing, what I overheard someone else call a “funky carnival.” And if I had my camera … this is where I’d share how absolutely imaginative some people got.

Opt.imus Prime
Opt.imus Prime

But the even more surprising Lego sculptures were found at the end of the night. After the festivities ended and as I went around collecting all the Lego pieces at the tables, I found random pieces of Legos shaped into various animals or house-like structures. I swear, someone even made a ginormous robot that looked like it should have been Optim.us Prime from the Tran.sformers. Really, I shouldn’t have been too surprised … I mean after all, I was supposed to be surrounded by the most creative people in the local industry.

Overall, it was a fun weekend. And because we both were away from our respective living areas (we stayed the weekend in Lansing, MI where the awards show was), it was nice to be in a place where neither of us had to “leave” one another at the end of the weekend. Both of us were going back to our places … albeit alone.

But, thank G*d, not for much longer.

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* I find that I’ve divided INXS into two categories; the old INXS (with Michael Hu.tchence) and the new INXS (sans Michael Hu.tchence).

Little Fifteen

Okay, so I got tagged for this game on my Facebook page. But it was such a good meme that I had to share it here as well …

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Being the music lover that I am, I have to say that this meme took me about a week to complete. Because seriously people … it’s really hard for me to come up with just 15 influential albums. Hence the reason for the “Honorable Mentions” listed below.

Now, before I start … I must preface this by explaining the year listed in parenthesis after the album. Even though the dates next to it reflect the year the album was released, I might not have heard it until later in life. HOWEVER, the *actual* order in which they are listed is when that particular album became part of my life.

And looking back at it now, I can’t believe how much these albums have influenced every aspect of my life. Here goes …

RULES: Think of 15 albums, CDs, LPs (if you’re over 40) that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life … Dug into your soul. Music that completely brought you to life whenever you heard it … Royally affected you, kicked you in the wazoo … literally socked you in the gut.

List those albums below and when you’re finish, tag 15 others, including me. Then make sure you copy and paste this part so they also know the drill.

So … let’s begin.

  1. Revolver (1966)- The Beatles
    I have always credited my parents for introducing me to my love of music. This Beatles album, in particular, is the one I remember the most from my childhood. Specifically, I remember singing along to an 8-track copy of those songs on a 1977 trip down to Disney World. To this day, I can’t help but smile every time I hear “Yellow Submarine.”
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  2. Bad Girls (1979) – Donna Summer
    It wasn’t until listening to “Machine Soul: An Odyssey into Electronic Dance Music” (2000) that I remembered how much Donna Summer influenced my taste in Electronic music. This is one of those albums that I have a distinct memory of being drawn into the beats and bass of each song without any influence from anybody (read: older brother) or anything (radio stations) else. In fact, ask my aunt or my mom … they will tell you how I refused to let them leave some department store (can’t remember which) just because I wanted to hear the rest of the album. I was 8 years old at the time. (Side note: If you listen to M.I.A.’s latest album “Kala” you can clearly hear the influence this 1979 album has on music today.)
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  3. Back in Black (1980) – AC/DC
    What can I say? I was brought up amongst the “head-bangers” of Madison Heights and Warren. Seriously, many of my neighborhood friend’s were constantly introducing hard rock into our sphere of musical tastes (which is why there’s still something about Def Leppard that gets me going). But THIS album … Total. Rock Out. Music. Nothing gets you off your a$$ like listening to the first guitar riffs of “Back in Black.”
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  4. Purple Rain (1984) – Prince
    The movie, the songs … this album threw me completely out of my MJ “Thriller” phase into truly magnificent song writing; amazing arrangements and incredibly un-PG rated lyrics for a 12-year old Catholic school girl.
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  5. Duran Duran (1981) – Duran Duran
    Here’s the start of my obsession with New Wave. And I’m not talking about the overplayed (but definitely well-manufactured) “Rio” album. Their first studio album is filled with incredible bass lines and (of course) synth rock. Everything from Planet Earth to the instrumental “Tel Aviv” screams frilly “New Romantic” shirts and heavy 80’s eye make-up.
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  6. Some Great Reward (1984) – Depeche Mode
    Why this album over the incredibly influential “Black Celebration”? Mainly because I remember the day that my older brother brought that cassette tape home and played it on our “Minus-One” karaoke machine. It’s like I finally understood what it was that I truly loved about heavy drum and bass beats and deep dark vocals/lyrics … Not to mention all those synth-based industrial clips was something I had never ever heard before in any other songs with such catchy beats.
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  7. Standing at the Beach (1986) – The Cure
    Even though my first taste of The Cure was with their album “The Head on the Door,” this cumulative album of their works up to this period got me caught up with all Robert Smith’s works. Who, of course, ultimately wrote probably the pinnacle song of my existence, “Picture of You.”
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  8. The Queen is Dead (1986) – The Smiths
    What can I say? This album is everything a 14-year old full of hormonal angst needed to survive during those incredible times of self-loathing and loneliness.
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  9. Kick – INXS (1987)
    I know, right? Why this INXS album, their most overplayed, commercially successful album? Why not “Shabooh Shoobah” (which I first heard back in 1983) or “Listen Like Thieves,” which really got me into the band? The simple answer is this: It’s an incredibly well-written album; one which merges the two absolute best parts of their music … the R&B of “Shabooh” and the Rock & Roll of “Thieves” …
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  10. Computer World (1981) – Kraftwerk
    Okay, so I don’t actually remember exactly when I started listening to Kraftwerk. I do remember hearing “Tour de France” on the “Breakin'” movie soundtrack and completely being enthralled with it. I probably stumbled onto this album in 1987 or 1988 when seeing the video for “Pocket Calculator” during MTV’s 120 Minutes and managed to get a “Maxell 90-minute cassette tape” copy of it. I suppose you can say that this album, along with “Tour de France” was my first foray into Techno and ultimately Detroit Techno.
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  11. Substance (1987) – New Order
    Again, here’s another cumulative works album of a band that I first heard with their “Brotherhood” album. Substance, however, differed in the fact that they provided the penultimate remixes of their most well-known hits. (Although, I still maintain that I love “Brotherhood’s” version of “Blue Monday” better.) It definitely beat trying to find those 12-inch remixes at the original “Off The Record” or “Sam’s Jams” back in the day.
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  12. Nevermind (1991)- Nirvana
    I admit it. This album made the list purely because it brings me back to those college years and the whole Alt Rock scene … even though I credit The Pixies “Surfer Rosa” as probably the album that brought true Alternative Rock (none of this post-Nirvana fan-dangled alterna-rock sh*t) to the forefront for me. There’s just something about “Smells Like Teen Spirit” that brings me back to the days of working at OU’s college radio station and many beer-laden nights.
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  13. Amplified Heart (1994) – Everything But The Girl
    I was first introduced to EBTG with the soundtrack to the John Hughes movie, “She’s Having A Baby.” Yes “Apron Strings” is the song of which my blog is based on. However, this album for me is where Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt begin to transition over from their Euro-R&B sound to Electronica; both sounds of which I absolutely adore.
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  14. No Strings Attached (2000) – N’Sync
    Yes, I know. Why would the “Class New Waver” like something so mainstream? Actually it’s more about the fact that here’s an album that I truly wanted to buy after almost a half a decade of not listening to or even buying music. The years between the last album on my list and this one were spent focusing on married life and my career. This album is the one I credit for getting me back into music again. Coincidentally, did you know that this is the highest selling album of all times, selling 2.4 million the first week it was released? Shortly after (in 2001), iTunes and the iPod came into existence; bringing digital downloads and sales into the forefront of the way people bought and listened to music.
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  15. Elephant (2003) – White Stripes
    Here’s another one of those albums that got me back into really listening to music. Specifically music of the Rock genre. There’s something incredibly simple, yet complicated, about the music of Jack and Meg that had me enthralled with their musical arrangements.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

  • The Hurting (1983) -Tears For Fears
    Goth meets New Wave. Even at 13 yrs old, I was already into the deep and dark “Mad World” of haunting lyricism.
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  • Twitch (1986) – Ministry
    My first taste of Industrial music. “Over The Shoulder” is one of those cult “City Club” classics (along with “Everyday is Halloween”) that you just can’t live without.
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  • Substance (1988) – Joy Division
    After getting into New Order’s Substance album, I had to go back and know the history behind the band. Of course, that brought me to Joy Division and “Love Will Tear Us Apart.” Completely kicked “Bauhaus” off the top of my favorite “Goth” bands. Seriously. Nothing like listening to Ian Curtis lyrics to make you wanna curl up in a ball and disappear.
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  • Surfer Rosa (1988) – The Pixies
    Rather than explain again, see #12 above.
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  • Pretty Hate Machine (1989) – Nine Inch Nails
    Nothing … and I repeat nothing can beat any other NIN album since. I don’t care how incredibly revolutionary or successful any of Trent’s later albums were. I still consider this one of my favorite Industrial albums of all times.
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  • Speakerboxxx/The Love Below (2003) – Outkast
    Don’t get me wrong, I like Hip Hop, but I’m not in love with it. This album though … totally everything I ever wanted in a Hip Hop album.
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  • Arular (2005) – M.I.A.
    Another one of those mid-2000’s that really stands out in the oversaturated market of Hip Hop. Plus she’s Asian. And she just rocks!
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  • Appetite for Destruction (1987) – Guns ‘N Roses
    Notice how chronologically this album is last on my list? Meaning I truly did not appreciate this album for what it is until recently. I’ve always had a thing for breaking down music to it’s most basic form; listening to each instrument individually and then seeing how it’s arranged in the overall composition of a song or entire album. While I absolutely hated this album in high school when it first came out, I am completely floored by it today. Axl may be totally crazy … but seriously, this album is in-f*ckin-credible.

So that’s my list. Nowhere all comprehensive of all the different types of music I enjoy. This totally skips over my love of Electronica music; specifically deep house and home-grown Detroit Techno. And my love for compilation albums such as soundtracks and tribute albums. But hey … I figured it already took me a week to come up with this list. And it’s as good as it’ll ever be.

Okay, now it’s you’re turn. Not that you have to do this, but I’m gonna tag you just because I’m curious to see what your choices would be. SO … if you so choose to accept this mission, will the following people list their top 15 albums?

Kara, Kate, Io, Shinejil, Pam, Christina, and Barb

If you can’t come up with fifteen … at least comment below with the one album that has affected you the most. And this includes anyone else that wishes to play along …

Puppy Power!!

I was so excited to go home this past weekend. Not only because I’d be there to celebrate both my Mom’s and a good friend’s birthday. Or just because I was *so* looking forward to sleeping in my big queen size bed with Hubby sleeping by my side. Nah … the biggest reason I was excited to go home (besides being with Hubby) was to see my Kozzy.

If you don’t remember who Kozzy is, she’s our 11-year old “puppy-girl” who we joined our family on the day the Red Wings won their first Stanley Cup Championship in 42 years. Hence Kozzy’s real name: Kozlov Konstantinov. Kozzy for short.

Kozzy as an *actual* puppy
Kozzy as an *actual* puppy

We adopted Kozzy from the “Meet Your Best Friend at the Zoo” Day at the Detroit Zoo. The moment we first laid eyes on her, we fell in love. She was the quietest, meekest puppy we saw, and she appeared so docile. But, boy were we ever fooled.

The minute we got her home, Kozzy was all over our house and our backyard. And in true puppy-fashion, she was in to everything. Although she literally failed puppy school (she was labeled “socially aggressive”), Hubby and I can’t imagine life without her. And because I wasn’t going to be readily available to care for Kozzy in my new digs, Hubby & I decided that she wouldn’t move until Hubby moved as well. So yeah, I was excited to see my puppy-girl.

When I finally saw her, Kozzy was just like that excited hyperactive puppy she was when we first took her home. Throughout the whole weekend, she didn’t want to leave my side … even if it was to go get the laundry in our basement. And because of that, I just felt totally loved; totally needed. So having to leave her once again, once the weekend was over proved to be pretty difficult. Because not only was I saying goodbye to Hubby for the week, I was also saying bye to Kozzy until the next time I come back into town. I totally miss her and her silly antics …

honestscrapOkay, so (kinda) switching subjects … can anyone remember which cartoon character used to shout out “Puppy Power!!”? Yep, it’s none other than Scooby Doo’s nephew, Scrappy Doo. And the reason I was brought up this particular puppy in this post (other than to somehow tie the story of my Kozzy into this post) is because I recently received an award from one my IF bloggie buddies.

So a great big Thank You! to LoriBeth for awarding me the Honest Scrap Award!

But with every great award, comes great responsibility … or is that with great power comes great responsibility? Regardless, the rules of the Honest Scrap Award are as follows:

  • Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
  • Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Scrap.” Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
  • List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

So let’s begin. Hmm … 10 honest things about me:

  1. I am definitely NOT a morning person. I’m more apt to stay up late and wake up even later. BUT … if getting up early means I can get to work at an earlier time so I can leave work earlier, then I would drag my sorry tired a$$ to work.
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  2. I love reading all kinds of books. But if given a choice between “War and Peace” and “Shopaholic Takes Manhattan”? I’d definitely choose the latter … or even some trashy young adult book. Yeah … I have a thing for Chick Lit and Teen Romance. But what’s worse is that …
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  3. Sometimes when I’m done reading those books, I will return them to the local bookstore and get credit towards buying another book. (I feel like such a dork keeping copies of Meg Cabot teen books on my book shelves …) I guess you can say it’s “almost” like borrowing books from the library. Except instead of a library card, it’s a Visa card.
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  4. I consider myself pretty flexible and a go-with-the-flow type of person which, in normal circumstances I am … but throw a major issue that requires an immediate decision? I freeze up. I become paralyzed with anxiety and fear.
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  5. Along the same “pretty flexible” line … I always thought I had the ability to see things in shades of grey. Nothing could ever be just black or white. Except if someone or something pushes me too far. Then all I see is that I’m either ABSOLUTELY right (as in “stubborn”) or COMPLETELY wrong (as in “stupid”).

    Admit it ... Kozzy's adorable!
    Admit it ... Kozzy's adorable!
  6. I have quite a wicked temper. I’ve gotten better over the years … thanks, mostly in part of the incredible patience my Hubby has for me. But push my buttons over and over and OVER again … well, just beware of my wrath.
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  7. I apparently give off this vibe that I’m confident and secure with myself. That I’m a smart and quite knowledgeable person. And that I’m arrogant beyond belief. The truth is … most of the time I lack a whole lotta self-confidence and question every decision I make. And I’ve pretty much been like that my whole life.
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  8. While I usually take pride in being unique and unusual individual, there are days I secretly wish I was just like everyone else.
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  9. I have a difficult time speaking up for myself or doing something that I would want to do for myself. And when I do, I feel guilty … as if I’m being a very selfish person. And finally …
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  10. Even though I hate to admit it, my Mom was right. I never should have given up piano lessons in 9th grade. Ten years of lessons, and the only song I can fully complete is “Heart and Soul.”

So there you go … 10 Honest Crap that you’ve always wanted to know about me, if you didn’t already.

Now hmmm … who to pass this award on to? Okay, here goes …

  • Kate: I know how much she loves doing these memes and she always has such awesome content on her blog,
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  • Kara: I love her writings (and her, too!) even when the content doesn’t necessarily fit the title to her blog.
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  • Pam: My favorite Wordgirl. I just love the way she writes, as if I was in the midst of reading one of those NON-trashy books I’m addicted to. 😛
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  • Veriance: She’s one of my HS friend. And well … I’m purely interested in seeing what her *honest* answers are. Also because I have ALWAYS loved reading her stuff … and am looking forward to reading more.
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  • Beth: Simply because reading her blog reminds me of being back home in the D.
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  • KC: As everything I’ve read on her blog has always been completely raw and honest. And besides … I’m SO excited for her in her new career path!And finally …
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  • Shifty Shadow: There are days that I think she writes exactly how I feel. How much more honest can that get?

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Thanks again, LoriBeth … and thanks for all you readers out there that put up with my sometimes incessant and grandiose dissertations.

Soul Writer

It’s amazing what 60-plus degree weather in the middle of winter can do for the soul. And is it me? But does everything seem to run smoothly on a beautiful day like today? Like the trains, for instance. I left my place this morning at the same time I normally do. Walked the same distance to the train platform. Took the same train. Made the same trek from the station to my office building. But … it took fifteen minutes less than it normally does.

Maybe it was the added skip to my step. Maybe I was simply enjoying the walk outside in fresh air. Maybe it’s seeing quite a few different neighbors on my street coming out of hibernation for awhile. Either way, this little glimpse of warm weather has me excited to explore the rest of this city when the weather consistently stays warm.

Anyway, the typically 40 (or so) minute train ride into the downtown area affords me the time to do a quite a bit of reading on the way to and from work. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve managed to read all three books in the “Wicked” series by Gregory Macguire. (I’m telling you … the musical was awesome. But the book series is d*mn good … and quite a bit darker, too.) And now, I’m trying to finish “Confessions of a Shopaholic” by Sophie Kinsella before the movie comes out. And even though I fully expect the book to be much better than the movie, I want to see it because I just love Isla Fisher.

But getting back to the book … I have to admit that I’m laughing my butt off and simply cowering with fear. Laughing, because the main character gets into these situations that are so impossibly hilarious. Terrified, because some of those situations she gets herself in are because of irresponsible exploits on her part … things I may have done in the past (especially as it relates to “denying” my anger and sadness over infertility) and even now, in the present (a-hem, finances … just like the book). It’s also downright spooky how some of those irrational thought processes correlate with my own ludicrous conclusions. Overall though … I hope that the ending of the book doesn’t end up being a major disappointment. And that goes for the movie as well.

And while I continue to babble … where the bloody h*ll was Amer.ican I.dol when I was in high school and college? Maybe then I would have had enough fearlessness and gumption to audition for it. Not that I claim myself to be an excellent singer or musician … because I’m not. But music was definitely something that was a big part of my childhood life all the way up to college. And then I got into Nursing School … and music, along with writing was replaced with bedpans and clinical pathways.

Okay, so not necessarily strictly bedpans. But you get the point. While I take pride in being a Registered Nut — I mean, Nurse … (after all, I worked very hard to get where I am in my career today) this wasn’t what I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. Nah, ask me back in high school … and I would have told you that I wanted to go into journalism or some sort of non-science related career. Or h*ll … if I thought I was good enough, I would have tossed aside college and gone full fledge into the music scene. I mean, after all … I had such a stellar career as a sales associate at Music.Land. Ha! Bet that would have thrilled my parents …

In any case, even now I still don’t know what I really want to be when I grow up. I always thought that I’d have it figured out by now; with that stellar career still on the rise. Okay, so my current career right now is on the rise … but then I also imagined that I’d have at least two kids in grade school right now, too. In that scenario, I may still have been in the Nursing career, but really … hadn’t I gone into Nursing because I always thought it would give me a little more flexibility when it came to raising my children? Funny how things never turn out the way you think they will.

Regardless of what I’ve rambled on about these past few paragraphs, I must admit that despite everything that I have experienced in life … especially over the past 2.5 years … I don’t regret the choices I’ve made. (Okay, maybe certain actions. But definitely not choices.) Because then I wouldn’t be the stronger person I that am today.

And that takes a lot out of me just to say that little bit.

Whew … amazing what great weather and a change of scenery can do to one’s soul.