Hook, Line and Sinker

It’s that time of year again for me. College Football Saturdays, fresh apple cider and hot donuts, and fall TV season premieres. Oh, and knitting. For some reason, I tend to pick up the “sticks” (aka knitting needles) and a fresh “batch” of yarn around this time of the year.

This year, instead of sticks I’ve picked up the “hooker.”

Uh … I didn’t say A hooker … I said THE “hooker.” As in a crochet needle.

Geesh. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Crocheting always reminds me of my Grandma Rose. In the years that she lived with us, and for decades after, I can’t recall a time where she didn’t have her crochet needles and ball of yarn inside her bag. She’d pull it out at various times; many times just to keep her hands busy.

Grandma had told me that she picked up crocheting to help with her debilitating arthritis; that it helped loosen her joints, which I can clearly remember looking incredibly swollen and misshapen. While I believe that she took up the craft for that very reason, I also believe that she continued to do so because creating something was incredibly satisfying. (I can’t tell you how many the heirloom tablecloths she made for every one of her children and grandchildren!) That, and the repetitive activity of pulling yarn through slipknot after slipknot was especially soothing.

That’s the reason I’ve enjoyed knitting and crocheting. The simple notion that continuously “picking” or “hooking” or “throwing” yarn over needles to produce a piece of art is calming. It’s a way for me to relieve some stress and yet still feel fulfilled that I’ve actually made something out of a skein of yarn.

Yet, while I love to knit and crochet, I only do so with an end project in mind. Otherwise I’d be making waay too many cup cozies or pot holders than any one of my family and friends would ever need. (Yikes!) So with the recent news within our circle of family/friends, it should come to no surprise as to what kind of project I’m currently working on.

After five years of knitting/crocheting hats & booties or blankets for various family members or friends, you would think that I’d be able to forget about my own issues and focus on the project at hand. And many times I can … In fact doing such projects and keeping such a blog is a very personal form of therapy for me. But there are those moments in the midst of making such creations where my childless situation hits me square in the chest.

But then my thoughts somehow switch to the very good friend of mine; the one that taught me to knit. And I remember how lucky I am in other aspects of my life.

Or, like last Thursday on the bus ride home, I remember my Grandma Rose; who taught me the basics of crocheting years and years ago. I remember each piece she’s ever created especially for me. And how much they mean to me; now even more since her recent passing.

And I remember that what I’m currently making is meant to bring up these emotions. Because feeling such sadness reminds me the importance that Hubby and I had placed on trying to have our own child … and exactly how strong our love is to have survived everything we’ve gone through.

Today's Gonna Be A Good Day

Just wanted to quickly share the video from Oprah’s season opening performance by the Black Eyed Peas. This was Frickin. Amazing. Just to see how they got close to 21,000 people to do this dance was amazing!

And now I’ve got this song playing over and over in my mind. BUT … I suppose if I had to have a song stuck in my head, this is a good one to have!

(To see the “official version” for better picture quality, click here!)

Meet Me Halfway

I used to think that the more “hits” I had on my blog a day signified how much of an impact I was making in the infertility world. I thought that the more people I “reached” through my writing, the more people would relate to my struggle.

Of course now that this blog is more that two years old, I know the real truth.

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Today Hubby and I hung out downtown after I got off work today. Oprah had conveniently closed down Michigan Avenue to celebrate her 24th season opener. And — even though I’d love to say Hubby and I went down there because we’re such “newbies” to the city — the truth is that we both saw attending this huge event as such a unique opportunity.

Because seriously … when would something like this ever happen if we were living in Detroit? (No … Superbowl XL does not count!)

I could totally see all the activities from my 21st floor Office Building!
I could totally see all the activities from my 21st floor Office Building!

I mean, really … who else, other than Oprah could get the City of Chicago to shut down the streets for the day? As a fellow co-worker, who’s Hubby works for the Police Dept said, “They don’t even shut down the streets for the funerals of fellow Police Officers or Firemen!”

Since the “show” was not being streamed live on TV, there were many takes between segments. The Black Eyed Peas would perform one song, be interviewed and then perform a second song; all with probably a nice 15 minute interlude between “scenes.” The same thing happened after Cris Angel performed and before Jennifer Hudson’s “band” set up for her performance.

Many times between segments, the crowd was able to hear what Oprah would be saying; a hazzard of the trade, since she was “mic”-ed the whole time. Not to mention the fact that she pretty much had cameras on her the entire time.

Those circumstances obviously made for a couple funny moments. Like the time Oprah was caught asking her make-up crew to apply more powder to her. Or when she mentioned out loud that it was a good thing she wore extra deodorant today.

It was in hearing her voice “live” (versus on the TV) that suddenly made Oprah “real” to me.  And actually seeing and hearing those “every day” type of comments / actions? Well, I guess that just confirmed to me that Oprah wasn’t just some “high up on a pedestal” type of person.

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Too bad I couldn't get any closer!

Before today Oprah always seemed to represent an untouchable legend;  a person that could probably not do a thing wrong. A powerful person whose whose opinions and/or commentaries could influence mass audiences anywhere. A person, who … by just her voice alone, could certainly make an impact.

And today I also realized that Oprah was a person who, despite how incredibly “popular” a celebrity she is, appeared to be quite lonely. A person, who, as incredibly approachable as she seemed to be, appeared to “wish” that someone  — anyone — would approach her in between segments. Instead, the majority of the time she ended up sitting alone by the side of the stage. To the people surrounding her (whether her crew or even the audience), they most likely shied away from her so as not to  intrude her space.

Now if given an opportunity, I could speculate that Oprah would have loved to show her soft, compassionate and intimate side. And I say that only because during the course of the evening, I happened to witness two instances. One occasion involved Jennifer Hudson who, in her postpartum hormonal state, sought reassurance from Oprah that her performance was absolutely spectacular. (It was!) The other instance occurred when a fan, apparently close enough to talk to Oprah, mentioned to her that it was her birthday. And Oprah, with her response, mentioned that she recognized the birthday girl dancing during the one of the Black Eyed Peas songs.

In both those instances, I’m sure that each individual who received such attention from Oprah (as in “Oprah, the Legend”) was “touched” by such simple actions. And I hope that both individuals were humbled that, if approached or even met half way, Oprah would make any attempt to engage them into her personal world … at whatever level she felt comfortable.

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Okay, so what does Oprah have to do about blog writing and/or making an impact on the world? Well, let me share with you the revelation I had on the train-ride home tonite:

It doesn’t matter how many people I “reach” (or how many “hits” I get) on a daily basis … it’s simply the thought that I’ve somehow impacted someone somewhere down the line; whether it be a simple statement said or an observation made.

And that even though I don’t get the monstrous number of “hits” or “comments” that I would love to get … I am making a difference to that one person who is willing to understand me and “meet me half way.”

And now … check out the “footage” I shot from the show …
It’s the Black Eyed Peas performing their latest single, “Meet Me Halfway”

It’s too bad I had to work all day … otherwise I would have loved to be on the other side of this monitor!

Lucky Number Thirteen

My Dearest Hubby —

This is your silly wife ...
This is your silly wife ...

I can’t believe it’s been thirteen years since we walked down the aisle and promised everlasting love to each other. We have been through many ups and downs … especially these past few years … but we’ve stuck together like glue.

You are my Winter, Spring, and Summer. And you are my most favorite season of all … Autumn.

You are my colorful Fall leaves. You are my Apple Cider and Donuts. You’re my Football Saturdays. And thirteen years ago, under a beautiful golden-red Harvest Moon, we pledged our love to one another …

I couldn’t be more happier with our life together …

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
As that of the rain-soaked purple
Of the white birch in spring?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
Than on a warm fall night
Under a mackerel sky,
The smell of grapes on the wind?

Comical Breakfast with Hunny
Comical Breakfast with Hunny

Well I have known all these things
And the joys that they can bring
And I’ll share them all for a cup of coffee
And to wear your ring

Have you ever had the pleasure of watching
A quiet winters snow slowly gathering
Like simple moments adding up?

Have you ever satisfied a gut feeling
To follow a dry dirt road thats beckoning you
To the heart of a shimmering summers day?
.

Well I have known all these things
And the joys that they can bring
And I’ll share them all for a cup of coffee
And to wear your ring

Seriously? You still love me?!
Seriously? You still love me?!

And I don’t know how I survived those days
Before I held your hand
Well I never thought that I would be the one
To admit that the moon and the sun
Shine so much more brighter when
Seen through two pairs of eyes than
When seen through just one

The Love of My Life ...
The Love of My Life ...

Have you ever seen a sight as beautiful
As a face in a crowd of people
That lights up just for you?

Have you ever felt more fresh or wonderful
As when you wake
By the side of that boy or girl
Who has pledged their love to you?

Well I have known all these things
And the joys that they can bring
And now every morning there’s a cup of coffee
And I wear your ring

— “Anniversary Song” by Cowboy Junkies

August 31, 1996