News from the Hospital Front: Just Enough Time To Take a Breath

[Hi Bloggie Friends; who likely stopped visiting my little corner of the world, since I haven’t written *anything* over the past two years. Not that I haven’t been writing, I just have been venting on FB instead. I will try (once again) to be active in writing here, too.]

Finally. A day off to unwind a bit; if only to surround myself in silence so that I’m not completely overstimulated with all the noise and activities on, what I’ve been deeming my unit as “COVID Central.” Not that it’s the unit that has the most or the sickest of the COVID+ patients … it just happens to be a centralized unit in the hospital and the first of the (now) 10 units to be designated at a COVID+ unit.

The activity on this unit is nothing I’ve ever seen before. For my healthcare friends, the closest thing I can compare it to is when the CPR team is dealing with one patient on your unit … and then the back-up CPR team gets called for *another* patient down the hall. So. Many. People.

And the noise … if anyone has ever spent time visiting a family member in the ICU on a ventilator, you’d recognize the sound a vent makes to alarm the RN or Resp Therapist. Having spent a significant time at the bedside with my Dad & my Aunt, that alarm is embedded in my memory so much that I experience PTSD whenever I hear that sound. I suppose that I’m assigned to the wrong unit, if that’s the case. And yet, here I am … not wanting to be Any. Place. Else. (Except home, of course. With Hubby & the one-and-only Kirby Krackel)

Anyway … As I mentioned above, The Mother Ship has now converted a total of 10 units specifically to treat COVID patients. And yes, they are utilizing other areas of the hospital (ORs and Pre-op / Recovery Rooms) to accommodate patients. Our number of COVID+ patients continue to climb on a daily basis, doubling or sometimes tripling over a 24 hour period. And we are trying to discharge patients home as soon as we can to keep beds open.

This is definitely standard news fare; things you’ve likely seen on the news or read online or in the newspaper. What it’s *not* really saying is that the Metro Detroit area has now hit that “Third Week” stage. This is when patients that have tested positive for COVID-19 three weeks ago are likely to require critical ICU-level care. This is when we will see that initial increase in number of patients requiring ventilators to keep them breathing.

And the thing is, when patients get to that third week … it hits them HARD: We’ve seen so many patients go from walking & talking to needing to be intubated in a matter of minutes.

To give you an idea, a “normal” (pre-COVID-19) day at The Mother Ship, we may hear an overhead page for a STAT intubation about once or twice a day. Yesterday alone, we heard FIVE of them before 2 pm. That doesn’t even include the number of *anticipated* intubations that occur at bedside; the ones where we see patients decompensating before our eyes. So yeah … though I don’t have exact numbers, the number of patients requiring breathing assistance continues climb, despite all of us trying to flatten that curve.

With all that, this day off came at a good time. First of all, I needed that breather (ha ha … pun *intended*) before heading into my assigned work weekend. And second, this is giving me the time to say THANK YOU for the overwhelmingly positive responses I received from my post the other day. All the love I received was passed on to all my coworkers and peers throughout the hospital and … believe me when I say that we are SO HUMBLED by your responses.

I truly didn’t realize that it would make the impact that it did (although, I suppose that the rest of the nation has a little more time on their hands to actually read & scroll through FB). From that one post alone, I’ve had a few friends in the Healthcare Industry reach out to me to inform me of nursing facilities that were working on providing rehab beds for COVID+ patients.

I’ve had home care agency contacts call me to let me know that they’re staffed and ready to take on patients. I’ve even had an owner of a group home reach out to me to see what could be done if the need to find placement for these patients becomes overwhelming (shout out to Vicki!)

In addition, I’ve had some of you ask what you can do to help out. The number one thing you can do is STAY HOME and keep a healthy SIX FEET away from the non-household person next to you when out in public.

With the weather becoming nicer (well, some days anyway), I know kids will want to go outside and play with their friends. While I *love* that kids are outside (rather than inside watching TV all the time), right now, it’s much SAFER to play outside only with other members of your household (as long as they’re not COVID+, of course). Better yet, have them read a book (sorry, I’m a bibliophile) or play board games with them. Or hey … have them invent a new game!

I know it’s been drilled into everyone’s head; however, I can’t emphasize *enough* that the only way to contain the spread is to NOT leave your home. It’s annoying and I totally get the “I’m bored” part, but the longer society continues to ignore or disregard this request, the LONGER WE WILL BE SELF-ISOLATED.

But, while you’re at home, consider other ways you can help others. Obviously at the hospitals, we’re in desperate need of PPE and other medical equipment. But I’m pretty sure none of you have a spare ventilator lying around your home … so if you’d like to donate supplies (masks, eye shields, disinfectant wipes, etc), you can alway reach out to your local hospital to determine which supplies they REALLY need and where you can drop off or ship these donations.

Outside of the hospital, think of other healthcare related facilities or agencies that may need PPE as well: Nursing homes, group homes, home care agencies … they all have healthcare workers that are also being exposed to COVID-19 as well.

Consider delivering meals or groceries to those elderly patients that cannot get out — or rather, SHOULD NOT get out — of their homes. You don’t have to be in physical contact with people when delivering; you could always arrange a drop off on their porch.

Again … I can’t tell you enough how much ALL OF US HEALTHCARE WORKERS appreciate your love, prayers, support, donations, etc. But remember, there are also others out there that also need this as well. Yourself included.

Take care of yourself and your love ones. Try not to focus on things beyond your control. Stay healthy both mentally and physically.

And now … I nap.

News from the Hospital Front

[Hi Bloggie Friends; who likely stopped visiting my little corner of the world, since I haven’t written *anything* over the past two years. Not that I haven’t been writing, I just have been venting on FB instead. I will try (once again) to be active in writing here, too.]

It’s absolutely nuts. Every day is something new & challenging. We’re definitely stressed (more than usual) and that can be felt throughout the entire hospital. Yet we’re trying to keep it as positive and as humorous as possible … if only just to keep us from breaking down.

It’s like nothing any of us have experienced. And the unit I’m on for Case Management is the designated COVID unit. It’s a step-down unit (not ICU but not a general floor either), that has been converted to the COVID-19 ICU annex. Many of these patients present with abnormally high temps, very low oxygen levels, and pneumonia. The ones on our unit require high flow oxygen to keep their levels in the mid- to low-90’s (most “normal” adults tend to be in higher 90’s)… and if that doesn’t help, then these patients “win” a tube down their throat in order to get placed on a ventilator.
To give you an idea, typically (pre-COVID-19) 1-2 patients get “intubated” in a 24-48 hour period on our unit. This past Friday, our unit intubated 18 patients in a 24 hour period. Today, there were 40+ patients on the vent by the time I left work.

Thank GOD that, as a Case Manager, I’m not providing direct patient care. However, I *am* doing a lot of talking to patients on the phone from our office (just down the hall, BTW) about what kind of healthcare needs (medical equipment, home care, physical rehab, etc) they might require on discharge. And then we’re counseling families from their homes (no visitors allowed) about the next steps when the patient is close to being discharged from the hospital (unless, of course, they’re “celestially” discharged 😢).
Which is the next big issue for me. We have NOWHERE to send these COVID+ patients that require rehab (no nursing facilities are accepting). And we’re also dealing with Assisted Living facilities or Group Homes that are refusing to take their residents back.

Yesterday, I had a Group Home manager tell me he couldn’t take his resident back because they hadn’t received their order of PPE that they *just* ordered LAST WEEK 😡 But the best part? He stated that he’d take him back if the hospital sent him home with TWO WEEKS of PPE for his home.

Today, we had a nursing facility “accept” a COVID-19 patient, but requested we send the patient with ten masks.

Seriously. All this … when direct care workers have to *literally* sign their lives away on a daily basis to get ONE N95 mask. The same ONE that they have to reuse for the entire day, placing it in paper bags throughout the shift when “not in use.”

And now, tonight … A national spotlight on The Rachel Maddow Show about how our 3K+-Hospital bed health system is reaching capacity and “transferring patients” amongst our hospitals. Which basically means they’re sending these patients to none other than the hospital that I work in … The Mother Ship. The First and Largest of the hospitals.

At the end of the day – like all my coworkers – I am exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. And yet, we healthcare workers get up the next morning and do it again.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and positive vibes. I totally appreciate them.

All us frontline workers do.
❤️❤️❤️

Marching to the Beat of My Own Drum

This picture was posted on the “Conservative Women’s ROCK” Facebook page.

This … THIS is what bugs me about all the news about the Inauguration and about the Women’s March yesterday.

I believe that everyone has the right to express their own opinions and, for the most part, I am open to all ideas and opinions when one brings up valid points. So what I have to say is my personal opinion and it’s something I wish to express and hopefully clarify.

This isn’t a war about who’s right or who’s wrong. It’s not about what one person did or said to another person. To me, it’s about the ability to have grace and humility before demanding respect.

It’s about being able to evolve into a society where opinions do matter. And –quite frankly, how one approaches expressing their opinion is of extreme importance.

If you express your opinions with “guns out, blazing,” you should expect that any rational human being will respond the same. If you express it thoughtfully, carefully and with consideration to other people’s lives and how it affects them, then yes … expect a good hearty debate with someone who is willing to approach it in the same manner.

Yesterday … whether you believe in what the Women’s March stood for, please be aware that it had NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO WON THE ELECTION OR WHO IS CURRENTLY POTUS. While it was certainly influenced why many people came together, the sole reason for the march can only best be described by their  mission statement:

“We stand together in solidarity with our partners and children for the protection of our rights, our safety, our health, and our families – recognizing that our vibrant and diverse communities are the strength of our country.”

Grace + Humility + Empathy = Respect.

#LoveTrumpsHate

Bad Blogger

IMG_1479Well hello there strangers. I know … it’s been a while and I sincerely hope everyone is doing well in the Land of IF, cities in Between and points Beyond.

There is no excuse for not writing on this blog very much. The truth is, I haven’t had much to say in regards to living child-free (NOT by choice). And anything I’ve had to say about things has really been small snippets on my Facebook page about articles I’ve shared.

You see, unlike 15 years ago when I first started this infertility journey (well, actually, it’s been closer to 20 years, now that I think about it … yikes!), there is a lot more media surrounding IF. Seriously … where was all this support when I needed it?!

Social media aside, I’m just truly grateful that it was through the blogosphere that I met many wonderful people going through this infertility journey with me. Most of us have now resolved our infertility journeys; some managed to have biological children of their own either naturally or by way of IVF (one of them had TWINS!), some of them became adoptive parents, and some even became step-parents. And some of them … well, some sort of combination of all of the above!

As for me, I have pretty much resolved the fact that I will never have biological children of my own for these facts:

  • I am over 40 years old
  • I’m pretty sure I’m going into early menopause
  • Adoption for us is way beyond our financial means
  • I am way too exhausted to think of parenting at my age
  • Being over 40, I cannot fathom having to raise a child now and be close to (or even over) 60 by the time they graduate from high school

 

Unfortunately, these facts don’t stop some well-meaning family members from thinking I’m going to have some sort of miraculous conception. (We won’t even go into our recent trip to the Philippines.)

Monasterio de Santa Clara
Monasterio de Santa Clara (click on picture)

 

So what brings me out of my semi-retirement? A damn movie.

But first let me clarify something. While we may have reached the end of our IF journey, this doesn’t mean that some things can slap us in the face and make us fully aware that we are not the norm … that we are quite different than the rest of everyday society.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned to accept that Hubby & I are on a unique path of our own (just like every other person / couple / family is). I’ve gotten used to answering “No” to when new friends, acquaintances, or other professionals ask us if we have any children. And I’m certainly used to and am very comfortable in explaining why we don’t either. I can stand on my own (without crying, to boot!) when discussing infertility and the emotions that a person goes through while traveling on that journey. I can be rational about debating why adoption isn’t for us. I can even easily ask and converse with others about their children without feeling inferior.

But every once in a while, there’s something that happens that can have me contemplating why we chose this Child-Free-Not-By-Choice life. Or has me feeling, once again, that I’m alone in the world of other adults that are parents … and that I can’t possibly know what it’s like to be one of them.

This time it’s a movie … particularly one that is specifically aimed towards motherhood and all the horrible things that occur during parenting a child.

Okay, I get it. Yes … motherhood isn’t always glamorous. In fact, I’d say the only time everyday parenting looks glamorous is on Facebook or Pinterest or Instagram … or any other social media outlet out there. And that’s only after 5 GAZILLION retakes to make it “just perfect.”

IMG_2318But it’s still something that I can’t fully understand.

Because, for being “over-worked, over-committed and exhausted to the point that [these moms are] about to snap” (directly from the plot summary, BTW)? I will never know what it’s like to feel that way. As a Mom, anyway.

And yet … Well, here’s something for all those moms out there:

Those feelings – while not as “ongoing on a daily basis”-type of way – are what those who have experienced / are experiencing infertility go through on a month-to-month basis.

Nothing hits you straight in the gut with a pregnancy test that doesn’t have that second line … and knowing you’ll have to go through the same treatments (-ie- shots, pills, holistic treatments, all of the above) for yet another month.

I know that I will eventually see this movie in the future (because – C’MON! The same writers as “The Hangover”?!). But next weekend, I’ll likely just chill with my Hubby and our four-legged child.

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PS. If you want know where “I’ve” been in social media lately, check out this Instagram account.

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