Day Four — A Song That Makes Me Sad:

This is a dif­fi­cult one for me to write about. Not that I didn’t know what song I was going to use for this day. It’s more because “Brick” by Ben Folds Five, writ­ten and released back in 1997, dis­turbs me even to this day.

The song itself is haunt­ing; the piano is beau­ti­ful yet sad. But it’s the lyrics to the song that get me every time.

I remem­ber read­ing some­where that Ben Folds had writ­ten this song in regards to an expe­ri­ence he had with his high school girl­friend. It’s not hard to fig­ure out what had hap­pened if you read the entire lyrics to the song.

But regard­less, it’s the cho­rus that hits close to home with me … espe­cially after all the years of emo­tional tur­moil I’ve had on my trav­els through Infer­til­ity. And dur­ing those years (and even more days than none, recently) I’ve felt like *I* was a brick; I was so heavy with every neg­a­tive emo­tion out there.

And since the song is writ­ten in a male’s per­spec­tive, I some­how relate it to what my hus­band has gone (con­tin­ues to go?) through. And that the more “heavy” I am as the “brick” … the more likely I am to “drown” him in my own sor­row. I just hate know­ing that I’ve prob­a­bly brought (and con­tinue to bring?) Hubby down.

So yes. That’s why this song makes me sad.

Ulti­mately I know Hubby and I are in this mar­riage together. For bet­ter or worse. And that he’s by my side because he loves me unconditionally.

It’s because of that rea­son that my “brick” feel a lit­tle less heavy. And I love him fiercely because of that.

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

What is with this 30-​​day song chal­lenge?

What was yes­ter­day’s song?

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